( ticking )
Wait for it...
( stops ticking )
COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
Another day, another migraine.
( laughs sheepishly )
Mi...
COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
...graine.
( sighs )
Isn't it great
working at
The Krusty Krab,
Squidward?
Huh? Isn't it?
Working here?
Yeah, great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yes!
Hold that thought, Squidward.
l'm due in the parking lot
for early-morning litter-patrol.
May Neptune shine brightly
on my harvest.
( laughs )
Litter.
Looks like someone
missed the trash basket,
huh, Mr. Candy Wrapper?
Kids these days.
( gasps )
l've never seen
such an epidemic!
Well, at least
it's all over now.
( gasps )
Huh?
Huh?!
Huh?
( shouting in exasperation )
( breathing heavily )
( object whistles through air )
Where is all this litter
coming from?
( clears throat )
Not on my watch.
Sir, I will have you know
it's against the law to litter.
Ha! What are you
going to do,
call the police?
Yes.
( cuffs clanking )
How's it going, Lieutenant?
Well, let's just say
I hope our litterbug there
saved room
for his just desserts.
( laughs )
Yeah!
Just desserts.
Whatever. Huh?
SQUIDWARD:
SpongeBob, don't you know
who that is?
SPONGEBOB:
Who?
That's the Tattletale Strangler!
Who?
The Tattletale Strangler!
He's promised to strangle anyone
who turns him in!
( growls angrily )
He seems kind of angry with us,
eh, Squidward?
Squidward?
Squidward!
You're going
to do time,
Strangler.
Hard time.
Hi, Officers.
So he's going to jail, right?
Who, Strangler?
SPONGEBOB:
Yeah, Strangler.
OFFICER:
Oh, yeah.
He's going to jail
for a long time.
Hey, that looks like me!
( growling )
( screams )
Don't worry, SpongeBob,
he won't be able
to strangle you.
Yeah, we got him
chained up
real good.
He'll never get away.
Oops, not again.
OFFICER:
Yup, he got away.
( screams )
( body thuds )
You nice officers
will protect me, right?
We ain't bodyguards,
kid.
Yeah. Give us
a call
if you see him again,
Tattletale.
( tires screeching )
( coughs )
Those officers are right...
l need a bodyguard.
Mr. Krabs!
There's a maniac after me.
I need a bodyguard!
( cackling )
I wasn't five-time
golden claws in the navy
for nothing.
When he see me moves,
he'll be running scared.
So where is this little bully,
down at the park?
The soda shop?
What does he look like, eh, boy?
This would be him,
Mr. Krabs.
( screams )
The Tattletale Strangler!
Go away, SpongeBob.
Take your death cloud with you!
( no dialogue )
( jackhammer rattling )
( jackhammer rattling )
( screaming )
Hold me!
Hold me!
That's it,
I got to get out of town
till I can find a bodyguard.
MAN:
Bodyguard, huh?
Uh, I might be able
to help you out.
You don't understand, mister.
l need protection from
the scariest guy in town.
Here's his picture.
( chuckles )
He doesn't look so tough.
I tattled on him,
and now he wants to strangle me
with his diabolical hands!
I hope they're not dirty.
( laughs sinisterly )
Huh?
Uh-oh, there's too many
witnesses around here.
Listen, kid, I could
be your bodyguard.
Here's my card.
Hmm...
Looks good to me.
You're hired!
I feel safer already.
What's next?
Well, the maniac
could be anywhere
wearing a disguise.
He could be that old man.
Or that baby.
Or that pebble!
Or that stick.
Or that receipt
for the Phony Baloney
Mustache Emporium.
Huh? Uh,
that's mine.
Oh, bodyguard, my body is
in your guarding hands.
What do we do first?
Uh... I suggest
we go to a nice quiet,
secluded location,
like behind
an old Dumpster,
or a dark alley.
We could go to my house
and turn off all the lights.
Perfect.
That way no one
could hear you
being strangled...
I mean, uh, uh, protected.
( laughs maniacally )
Perfect.
Yes, excellent.
( both laughing maniacally )
( both laughing louder )
Ah, but first
I got to do a few errands.
Uh, okay, but let's
make it quick.
"Quick" is my middle name.
Let's see, paper towels.
This one says,
"Best paper towel around."
This one says,
"Best paper towel in town."
Hmm.
"In town."
"Around."
"In town."
"Around."
What do you think, bodyguard?
Whatever gets us
to your house quicker.
I'll take both!
Here you go,
Mr. SquarePants.
Hmm...
Is there something wrong?
l'm not sure if
these are my pants.
( groans )
( sniffs )
How about this one, bodyguard?
Too overbearing?
Can we just go to your house?
Here we are,
SquarePants Manor.
Bodyguard, let me just
take this opportunity
to say you're the best bodyguard
a fellow could hope to have.
All right, enough
of the sappy talk.
Open the door
so I can strangle you...
I mean, uh, choke you...
l mean, uh, crush
your windpipe... I mean...
"Protect me"?
Thanks.
Don't mention it, Strangler...
( gasps )
I mean "bodyguard."
Now, where did I put my key?
( growls )
( growling and sizzling )
Well, I can't find them.
Do you want to take a look?
Forget the key!
Let's climb
through this window.
( grunts )
I can't reach it.
Do you think you can hop up
on my shoulders, kid?
Sure.
With these spiky cleats,
anything is possible.
( grunts )
"Cleats"?
( screams )
Get your feet
out of my eye sockets!
I'm trying, but my cleats
are stuck in your corneas!
( screaming )
Get off! Get off!
( screaming )
Oh, oh, oh!
( pops )
Don't be mad, bodyguard.
Let me just grab the key
I keep under the mat
and we can get inside.
( growls )
( expl*si*n )
There you are,
you little rascal.
Now to put it in the lock,
which should activate
the tumblers,
thus opening the door.
Step inside...
Close the door...
Well, here we are.
I finally got you all alone!
( laughing maniacally )
I know, isn't it great?
( both laughing )
Ooh!
Now you're going to
get yours, Tattletale!
Surprise! Surprise!
Surprise! Surprise!
( cheering )
A surprise party to celebrate
my perfect on-time
percentage at work?
Oh, how'd you guys know?
It's on the invitations
you sent us.
Let's boogie!
( partygoers cheering )
( beach party music plays )
SPONGEBOB:
Bye, everybody,
thanks for coming!
Bye, Mr. Krabs, bye, Plankton,
bye, Sandy, bye, Larry,
bye, Pearl, bye, Mrs. Puff, bye,
Squidward, bye, the rest.
( stampeding )
( laughs )
( sighs )
Alone at last.
Huh? What? What?
So we're all alone now?
Just you, me
and the floorboards.
( laughing maniacally )
( laughing ):
Yeah!
( both laughing )
( knock at door )
ALL:
Happy birthday,
SpongeBob!
How did you guys know
today is my birthday?
We just do what
the invitations say.
Let's boogie some more!
( crowd cheers )
( beach party music resumes )
Thanks for coming!
Whew!
( laughs )
Alone again.
Is it true?
Everybody's gone?
Uh-huh.
No more parties today?
You've got everything
you need now?
Nobody's left,
we're completely alone?
Oh, yeah.
In that case...
( laughs maniacally )
Great parties, huh?
Oh!
Sorry, tubby, you got to go.
Wait, we can trust Patrick.
He's my best friend.
Well, uh, I can't
take any chances.
For all we know, uh,
he could be the Strangler.
I'm the Strangler?!
Oh, I should have known!
I got to turn myself in!
( panting )
( crashes )
So Patrick's the Strangler.
Gee, you think you know a guy.
He's not the Strangler!
He's not?
( tearing )
I am!
Hey, how'd you do that
without shaving cream?
Oh, it's a fake, you idiot!
I bought it at the party store!
Did someone say "party"?
( screams )
( crashes )
I can't take it!
Wait, bodyguard,
I need protection!
Step on it!
I'm being chased by a maniac!
( tires screeching )
I'm not safe!
Come back!
( tires screeching )
D-ohh!
Finally! Away from that guy.
SPONGEBOB:
Good idea,
bodyguard.
He'll never find us up here.
( screams )
SPONGEBOB:
Good thinking, bodyguard.
The Strangler could have been
on that plane.
( screams )
Bodyguard!
Bodyguard!
Look, kid...
I'm not your bodyguard!
( sobbing )
( sobbing ):
I'm the Strangler.
See?
( screams )
The Strangler!
Good work, SpongeBob.
You put the Strangler
behind bars.
At least I'm safe
from that yellow idiot.
PATRICK:
Hey, Mack.
What are you in for?
Well, Patrick, here it is,
the Palace of Pranks,
the greatest novelty shop
in Bikini Bottom.
All the greatest pranksters
shop here.
This is where I got
my gag seanut brittle can.
Oh, boy, seanut
brittle... give me!
Patrick, wait, it's
a booby trap, remember?
Nice try, SquarePants, but it's
not going to work this time.
l'm going to have some of
your delicious seanut brittle.
( grunts )
Where's the seanut brittle?
( laughs )
That gets funnier every time
you say it, Patrick.
Come on, let's go inside.
Seanut brittle.
( bell rings )
( sniffs )
Ah!
Nothing compares to the smell
of cheap plastic novelty items.
Pranks, gags and gross-out toys
as far as the eye can see.
Isn't it everything I said
it would be, Patrick?
PATRICK:
Hey, seanut brittle!
( boing )
Oh, darn it, not again.
( laughs )
Good to see you, SpongeBob.
How's my number one
customer doing?
Great, Frank.
This is my friend, Patrick.
He wants to become
a prankster, too.
Well, pleasure
to meet you, Patrick.
( screams )
( laughs )
That's your first lesson, son...
the granddaddy of all pranks,
the joy buzzer.
I don't get it.
You don't have to get it.
The prank is
for the enjoyment
of the prankster.
You see, Patrick,
Frank here is the master.
I learned all I know
about pranks from him.
Frank, let's see
what you've got.
Well, this came in
just this morning.
Have some gum.
( expl*si*n, Patrick screams )
Ha! Exploding chewing gum,
only $ . .
I don't get it.
What can we get for one dollar?
One dollar will get you
this fake gag dollar...
fool your friends into thinking
you've got a real dollar.
What else have you got?
A whoopee cushion?
Nah.
Fake vomit.
No.
Real vomit.
Eww!
Have anything good?
Well, there is one prank
that I've been saving
for a real top-of-the-line
prankster...
invisible spray.
Wow, invisible spray!
But I can see it.
Gee, Patrick, just
think of the pranks
we could pull with this.
( cash register rings )
Good choice.
Now, be careful
with that stuff, boys.
It stains clothes.
Thanks, Frank.
SPONGEBOB:
Here it is, Patrick,
the ultimate prank...
invisible spray.
What are we going to do with it?
I know!
We'll go spray the park bench
and then sit on it,
and when people walk by,
we'll be floating in midair.
They're floating in midair!
How do they do that?
That's the ultimate prank!
Good idea, SpongeBob!
Well, let's get started.
Okay, I'm ready.
Any particular reason
you took your pants off?
Well, that stuff
stains clothes, right?
That it does, Patrick,
that it does.
Good thinking.
Here, hold this a second.
Okay, Patrick, give me the can.
l think since spraying
the park bench was my idea,
I should get to spray it.
Patrick, spraying the park bench
was my idea.
Yeah, but I said
it was a good idea.
Give me that thing.
( both grunting )
Hey, the invisible spray works!
DRIVER:
And on your right
if you look,
you'll see two
naked guys fighting
over a can of paint.
( tourists laugh )
( screams )
Oh, my gosh, Patrick,
help me find our clothes!
( laughs )
I got to hand it
to you, SpongeBob.
You look kind of funny.
( laughing )
( screams )
Righty, where are you?
( laughing )
No one messes with Righty!
We'll see how you like it.
Kind of gives you
an empty feeling, huh?
( grunts )
Yeah!
I see what you mean.
( giggles )
( grunts )
No guts, no glory!
( laughs )
( puffs weakly )
PATRICK:
I think this
thing is empty.
SPONGEBOB:
Oh, no, it can't be!
How are we going to pull
off the ultimate prank?
Thanks a lot, Patrick.
You used the last of it.
( grunts )
Hey, I think I found our pants.
( clothes ripping )
Oops!
Here, these are yours.
Oh, forget the pants, Patrick.
Let's get home and
wash this paint off.
Hey, SpongeBob, do you
know what time it is?
Oh, sure, it's...
half past invisible.
Gee, it's getting late.
Let's ask this guy.
SPONGEBOB:
Sir, but do you
have the time?
Sure, it's ten
to : .
Thank you.
Don't mention it.
PATRICK:
Don't mention what?
Who said that?
Me.
( screams )
Ghosts!
( screams )
PATRICK:
Hey, I'm no ghost!
The nerve of that guy
and his driving eyeballs.
SPONGEBOB:
Wait a second, Patrick,
my brain just hatched an idea.
Lay it on me.
Okay, we're invisible,
right?
Yeah.
If that guy thought
we were ghosts,
we could haunt everybody
in Bikini Bottom.
Oh, it's the ultimate prank.
BOTH:
Whoo! High five!
( hands slap )
Let's go scare us some suckers.
( Patrick and SpongeBob
giggling )
Huh?
That's funny,
I thought I heard voices.
Huh?
l thought I left that glass
of peanut juice on the table.
And didn't I toss
that old lamp out yesterday?
And since when did I acquire
all these portraits of Patrick?
( Patrick and SpongeBob
imitating ghostly wail )
BOTH:
We're ghosts.
( wailing )
( laughs )
I knew it was you guys!
All right, joke's over.
Take off the sheets.
( gasps )
It is ghosts!
( screams )
( SpongeBob laughing )
Boy, we really scared her!
( both laugh )
PATRICK:
Who's going to be
our next victim?
A better question
would be, "Who isn't?"
Double-dark deep-sea
light diet cake!
( laughing )
You will soon be mine.
( chomping )
( burps )
( screams )
( squealing ):
Ghosts!
( humming )
Huh?
( Patrick and SpongeBob
imitating ghostly wail )
( screaming ):
Ghosts!
PATRICK AND SPONGEBOB
( in ghostly voice ):
Cowabunga!
Ghosts!
( screams )
( screaming ):
Ghosts!
Ghosts!
Ghosts!
Ghosts!
Toast.
Ghosts!
( SpongeBob laughs )
It's official... we're the
greatest pranksters ever.
The whole town
thinks we're ghosts.
PATRICK:
Yeah.
SPONGEBOB:
There's only one guy
left to scare,
and we'll have pranked everybody
in Bikini Bottom...
Mr. Krabs.
PATRICK:
lt says he isn't
scared of ghosts.
SPONGEBOB:
We'll see about that!
Ghosts!
Hah!
I ain't afraid of no ghosts!
Every sailor knows a ghost
won't come near a fella
as long as he's wearing
his spotted neckerchief...
and his dried-up sea leprechaun.
And a bit of gold never hurt.
But to be on the safe side,
I'm also wearing me pants
in a melvin knot,
got me shivering timber brace,
and the hairs on the back
of me neck are taped down.
And I'm all wrapped up
in a suit of anti-ghost armor.
And if none of this stuff works,
l've got me secret w*apon...
the specter deflector.
So just try and get me,
you ghosts!
Bring it on!
( Patrick and SpongeBob
imitating ghostly wail )
SPONGEBOB ( in ghostly voice ):
Krabs.
Krabs, we've come to haunt you.
Stay back, I'm well-armed!
( Patrick and SpongeBob
imitating ghostly wail )
( voice quivering ):
l'm warning you.
( knees clicking )
Ooh!
SPONGEBOB ( quietly ):
Boo.
( screaming )
I got to get out of here!
SPONGEBOB:
You can't escape, Krabs.
We glued the door shut.
KRABS:
You'll never get me!
( grunts )
PATRICK:
Nice try, Krabs, but we replaced
all the glass with rubber.
( laughing )
( screams )
SPONGEBOB:
Too late, Krabs, we've already
clogged all the toilets.
( voice shaking ):
Please, spirits, leave me be.
PATRICK ( laughing ):
We got him good, SpongeBob.
SPONGEBOB:
Wait, Patrick,
I've got one more idea.
You're going to pay, Krabs.
No, spirits, please!
( SpongeBob squeals )
No!
( SpongeBob shrieks )
No!
Don't burn me dollar!
( both laughing )
Well, well, well, if it isn't
SpongeBob and Patrick.
( in ghostly voice ):
I know not these names
of which you speak.
Uh, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob, we're visible again.
( both screaming )
So you two are
the Bikini Bottom ghosts.
We're really sorry,
Mr. Krabs.
Please don't chop us
up into little pieces
and eat them.
Hey, come on, boys, I'm hip.
I pulled my share of pranks
when I was your age,
had me some laughs.
That's what we did tonight,
right?
We had a good laugh.
Come on, laugh with me.
( laughing )
( all laughing )
Uh, any particular reason
you boys are naked?
Yeah, the invisible
paint stains clothes.
( chuckles )
Of course it does.
Well, you two better hurry home
before someone sees you nude.
Yeah, I think I'd
die of embarrassment
if that happened.
Me, too.
No, wouldn't want that,
would we?
It's getting late now.
You pranksters better get going.
Mr. Krabs, thanks for
being such a good sport.
KRABS:
Don't mention it.
That Mr. Krabs, always
looking out for me.
What a guy!
Yeah.
KRABS:
The Krusty Krab presents...
live nude pranksters!
Starring the Bikini Bottom
ghosts.
( cheering )
( squealing )
( laughing )
( cheering and whistling )
( laughing )
Patrick!
Yeah?
SPONGEBOB:
We should have bought
the whoopee cushion.
( groaning )
03x20 - SpongeBob Meets the Strangler/Pranks a Lot
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.
A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.