05x03 - Rise and Shine/Waiting/Fungus Among Us

[bunniefuu]

(snoring)

(blaring)

Good... morning, Gary!

(meows)

Say, Gary, do you ever wonder

what Patrick's mornings
are like?

(snoring)

(ringing)

(snorts, gasps)

Huh? What?

Huh?

(yelling)

No!!

(screaming)

What's making that noise?

Hu-Huh?

(ringing)
(shivering)

Oh.

(laughs with relief)

It's you again.

(ringing)

Okay, joke's over.

(still ringing)

All right, you got me.

Now cut it out.

(ringing continues)

That's it!

(grunts with exertion)

Stop your ringing, mister.

I'm warning you.

Stop it!

I said quit it!

(straining)

(electric crackling)

Ooh.

(alarm continues ringing)
Where's it coming from?

Make it stop!

(teeth chattering)
(ringing)

You've got to help me find out

where that ringing
is coming from.

Hey, come back!

Oh, fine! I'll ask someone
who cares.

SpongeBob, where's
the ringing coming from?

(ringing incessantly)

(muffled ringing)

(growling)

Breakfast!

Come to Patrick.

Tartar sauce.

I'm out of food again.

All I have are these lousy cans

with pictures of food on them.

I wanted real food,
not pictures.

(sloshing)

Oh.

The food is in the can.

Okay, come on out.

Come on.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, breakfast,
get on the plate.

Come on.

Nice, comfy plate just for you.

Come on, get on there.

Hello?

Anybody in there?

(dial tone) No answer.

I'm coming to rescue you!

(grunting)

Having a little trouble reaching you.
(ringing)

(cuckooing)

You stupid cans.

(ringing)

(ringing stops)
Oh...

food.

Ah, my favorite time of the day.

Breakfast
and a little morning television.

ANNOUNCER:
And now, live
from Bikini Bottom,

it's Bikini Bottom Live.

Huh...

(ringing)

Oh, my gosh!

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!

I gotta put on my teeth

and brush my pants!

(grunts and groans,
crashing)

(Gary meows)
Gary?

Oh, ah, ooh!

Pants.

A clean mouth is a happy mouth.

Darn.

Hey, Patrick,
how was your morning?

Oh, you know, usual.

(whistling)

What's this?

It says a free prize!

(braying laughter)

Huh?

Where's my prize?

"Free prize."

(gasps)

"Offer inside"?!

Just send box tops?

How you doing over there, Gary?

(meows)

(meows)

Send in the box tops...

(gulps)

before eating all the cereal?

Gary, you are a genius!

I'm waiting.
I'm waiting.

I'm waiting.
PATRICK:
l'm waiting.

I'm waiting.

We're waiting.
We're waiting.

We're waiting.

SpongeBob,

what are we waiting for?

We're waiting for the mailman.

He's bringing me a free toy.

I love toys!

Can I wait for your toy
with you?

Why, sure.

We're waiting.
We're waiting.

We're waiting.

There's the mailman!

You SpongeBob SquarePants?

Yep!

(shuddering with excitement)

lsn't there anything else?

Nope. Sorry, kid.

(whistling)

Guess we'll have
to keep waiting.

(wind whistling)

(stomach growling)

Hey, SpongeBob,
l'm hungry.

(rumbling)

(growling)

(barking)

(growling)

Me, too.

Let's go down to
The Krusty Krab

for a Krabby Patty.

Great idea, Patrick.

Krusty Krab, here we...

Wait a minute!

What if the mailman comes
when I'm gone?

What's wrong, SpongeBob?

If I leave, the mailman might
come and I might miss him.

Oh, I'm going to take off, then.

l don't think my arm
can stand much more of this.

(barking and growling)

Got to stay focused.

Hiya!

Hey, SpongeBob,
want to do some kara...

Not now, I'm busy.

Oh, Gary, not now.

Can't you see that
I'm waiting for
the mailman?

Doesn't anyone understand this?

(panting)

So tired.

(growling)
So hungry.

But must wait for toy.

Hey, buddy.
What?!

What do you want?!

Can't you see
I'm doing something here?!

This better be good.

You missed your surprise
birthday party,

so I just wanted to bring you
a present and some cake,

'cause you missed it.

My birthday party?

I missed my birthday party?

Yeah, see?

Here's a present
and your cake.

My birthday cake.

Yeah.

Let me just get you a fork
so you can eat it.

(giggles)

Uh, let me just hold the cake
like this

so I could get you a fork.

Huh,

I wonder where I put that fork.

Oops.

That was my cake.

What is the present?

Oh, yeah,

the fork!

(stifled sob)

(wailing)

That stupid toy!

I wasted my whole life waiting
for it.

Actually, you've only
been here minutes.

I've been mean to Gary
and I flipped Sandy.

And now you hate me 'cause...
I'm a big jerk!

No, I don't.

Yes, you do.

SpongeBob SquarePants?

Could you come back later?

He's having a moment.

Yeah. I just need a signature
for...

I said he's having a moment!

Now leave him alone!

No, Patrick, people like me
don't deserve moments.

I got so caught up in...

Oh, here you go.

...waiting for my...

my toy!

(braying laugh)

(laughing)

Whoo!

Whoo! Yeah!

♪ ♪

(trilling)

Patrick, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

Yep.

It's beautiful.
lt's beautiful.

SpongeBob?

I waited so long.

SpongeBob?

And you broke it.

You okay, buddy?

Yes, yes, I'm okay.

Oh... oh, for a sec, I...

You!

You ruined my free toy!

I'm sorry.

Oh, maybe if you just...

(screaming)

(sobbing loudly)

(screaming)

(sobbing)

(wailing)

(feet squishing)

(wailing sobs continue)

Just keep walking, Squiddy.

Don't make eye contact.

(feet squishing)

(slamming)

(SpongeBob and Patrick
continue crying)

Aaah!

(sighs)

Now to soothe my frayed nerves.

(screaming and sobbing resume)

All right,
what's going on?

Why are you two crying?

(crying)

I-I ate... box-box-boxtops.

And then... I-I'm waiting,
l'm waiting, and then,

he came, and then...
we're waiting,
we're waiting.

And then my toy

and then you and then snap
and then this.

(bawling)

(bawling)

(squeaks)

There, now see?

It's supposed to do that.

(squeaks)

Hey, my toy's okay.

Good.

Now will you two be quiet?

Look, Patrick,
Squidward fixed it.

How can we ever thank you?

Yeah, how can we thank you?

Move to
another neighborhood.

(snoring)

Krabby Patties.

Coming right up, sir.

(meowing)

(snoring)

(moans)

(meowing)

(laughing)

Gary, what are you doing?

(meows)

Oh, my gosh, the bowl's empty.

Not to worry, Gar-Gar.

Food is on the way.

Faster than you
can say... "organic."

Oh...

(raspberries)

There you go, Gary.

(sniffing)

Blech.

Gary, shame on you.

I realize you're
a bottom-feeder,

but have some manners.

You know you're not supposed
to eat goop off the ground.

Now go on and enjoy
your health food.

(grumbling)

What is this stuff anyway?

Doesn't seem to be coming off.

(doorbell rings)

Oh! Company!

Hi, SpongeBob... Ugh!

Something wrong, Patrick?

SpongeBob, what is that?

What's what?

This!

(screaming)

(gasping)

P-P-Patrick!

What should I do?

Scratch it like
there's no tomorrow!

Good idea.

Uh, SpongeBob?

Yeah?

I don't know about this.

What makes you say that?

This.

Ay! Ay! Ay!

It's getting bigger.

Nothing a little
pimple cream can't cure.

Ah... that's
more like it.

All better.

See, Patrick?

Sure do.

Well, I'm going to
go sit in my hole.

Catch you later, pal.

Bye, Patrick.

(singing)

(foghorn blowing)

Ah... This feels better.

Let's see.

A four-letter word...

Ooh.

...meaning an uncomfortable

sensation on the dermis.

Hmm...

Oh...

Itch!

Don't worry, SpongeBob.

Everyone gets itchy, swollen
skin rash now and then.

Just don't scratch it,
and it'll go away.

Eventually.

There.

Out of sight, out of mind.

I won't let this minor setback
hinder my fry cooking.

(humming)

Now, nothing can distract me
from frying up those patties.

Except maybe this
unbearable itchiness.

Must stop scratching!

SpongeBo... Ahh!

SpongeBob.

Huh?

Oh, hi, Squidward.

SpongeBob, why are
you all puffy?

Uh, whatty?

Your skin, SpongeBob.

What's wrong with your skin?

Oh, that.

It's nothing really, Squidward,

just a little blemish,
that's all.

(screaming)

(panting)

That's no blemish.

Help me.

Oh, I'll help you, all right.

(dialing)

(ringing)

SWAT team.

(Squidward mumbling)

We'll be right over.

Hold it right there!

Dear Neptune's trident.

This is the most
severe case of ick yet.

Stop, you fool!

Do you want to get infected!

This is a job

for the HAZMAT
division.

Get back!

I said get back!

Back, I say!

What's going on, Squidward?

Help!

Here's your change, sir.

Oh, why, thank you
very much, young man.

What was that?

No. No, Mr. Squidward,
that can't be the ick.

Oh... Where am I?

Whoa!

(air hoses hissing)

Mm-hmm.

Yes, I hear you.

Who are you people?

I want to go home.

You are home, SpongeBob.

You just need to
stay in this bubble

until the ick clears up.

Where's my snail, Gary?

We've taken care of your pet.

(meowing)

Gary? Wow!

He appears stable, sir.

All right, boys,
let's pack it up.

(breathing heavily)

Wow.

Huh?

What is this?

Patrick, stop, stop!

You're going to pop it.

Really?

How about if I
squeeze it like this?

(gasps)

Or this?

(gasps)

Or this?

Oh, Patrick!

How many times
do I have to tell you?

Be careful!

Sorry.

Hey, want to play a game
of pirate wrestling?

Sure, let's begin.

(grunting)
Uh...

Um, Patrick?

I win, I win, I win!

Patrick. Go,
Patrick.

Go, Patrick. Go, Patrick.

Patrick!

What am I going to do?

My bubble is destroyed.

I've got an idea.

There's no time for games, Pat.

Now think, SpongeBob.

The fate of Bikini Bottom

rests in your hands.

Huh?

Patrick, you're a genius!

And this one's mobile.

Now I can go back to work.

Squidward, help!

Help me flip these patties.

We've got growling
stomachs out there.

No, no, no,

no, no, no, no.

Then would it be too
much trouble to ask

his high and mightiness

to take these patties
out to the customers?

(groaning)

If only SpongeBob
were here.

If SpongeBob were here,
we'd be covered in ick.

Lunch is served.

(groans)

Eat up, kids.
(thuds)

(slurping)

Ahh.

Ahh... ooh.

Why am I so itchy?

(gasps):
No!

(screaming)

SpongeBob gave me the ick,

and I gave it to all you people!

(clamoring voices)

Back, you diseased freaks!

What's all the commotion about?

The commotion, my dear Krabs,
is regarding

the hygiene standards of your
eating establishment,

which appear to be inadequate.

Inadequate?!

I'll have you know

the staff of The Krusty Krab
take a solemn pledge

to show up every day of the week

clean and disease free.
(door creaking open)

SPONGEBOB:
Sorry I'm late, Mr. Krabs.

SpongeBob SquarePants,

returning for duty, sir.

(oozing)

(gasping)

Is that what you consider

clean and disease
free, Krabby?

I say we ransack this

greasy disease shack.
Who's with me?

(affirmative shouting)

It wasn't me!

It was Squidward!

He gave you all the ick.

No. No, I didn't.
It was SpongeBob!

He's infected
the entire Krusty Krab!

(clamoring shouts)

Let us apprehend
that careless contaminator!

(all shouting)

(sobbing)

(clattering, glass breaking)

(sniffing)

(chomping)

(gurgling)

(meows)

(clattering, glass breaking)

(crying):
Oh, no!

(gasps)

Stop!

You're pushing out
more of the ick!

No!

(Mr. Krabs laughing)

(laughing continues)

Stop it, you're
tickling me, Squidward!

It's not me, Mr. Krabs.

Gary D. Snail!

Don't you know it's impolite

to feed off of other people
without permission?

He's just doing
his job, SpongeBob.

He's a bottom feeder, remember?

See? The little fella
licked me clean.

I'm cured.

And he'll clean the ick
off any surface,

even Squid.

Oh, oh, me next!

Where are your manners?

lt's ladies first.
(groaning)

I believe the expression
is "Starfish first."

I supersede all of you,

for I have
an exotic accent.

Hey, hey, hey,
there's no need to fight.

'Cause I got a solution
l'll be happy with.

Step up to be de-icked.

Only five dollars.

(register dings)

Now can I get you
a Krabby Patty?

ln light of
today's offense,

that notion is crass
and offensive.

I'll take two, please.

All right.

Here you go, Mr. Krabs.

Another five dollars

for another de-icking.

Look, Gar,

you made me all sparkly.

You're the best
bottom feeder

a sponge could ever have.

Aye, and a great
moneymaker you are, too.

Now back to work.

(belching)