05x18 - What Ever Happened to SpongeBob? WhoBob WhatPants?

[bunniefuu]

(horn blowing)

(meows)
Good morning, Gary.

Good morning, Mr. Mailman.

Morning, SpongeBob.

Ah, it is a good morning,
isn't it?

(horn honking)

(mailman screams,
SpongeBob humming)

Isn't life great, Gary?

(humming)

Oh, what a beautiful day.

I have the best friends...

(gasping):
Stay away!

Oh.

Another SpongeBob nightmare.

...the best job...

He's already ten seconds late.

I'm docking him a month's pay
for this.

...and of course
the bestest pet.

(meows)

(growling)

(noisy fight)

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

Hi, SpongeBob.

Hey, Patrick, how goes it?

Well, it was going great,

until you showed up.

What is that?

Oh, just a birthday cake

for my mom

that I spent all day baking.

Idiot boy.

Ooh.

That's the first time
somebody's called me that.

Wait. I know who will
enjoy my company.

Squidward!

Don't you ever

wake me from my beauty sleep!

Do you understand?!

Idiot boy.

(electrical crackle)

Whoo-ee! It's all done!

My greatest invention yet!

Sandy! What a neat robot.

(echoing scream):
No...!

I can explain.
Y-You see...

I was up in a tree and
I thought it'd be funny

if I gave you a surprise.

Oh, you gave me
a surprise, all right.

Look at the surprise I got.

Get out of here!

Idiot boy!

(sniffs sadly)

Well, I guess that means

there's only one place
left to go,

a place where I'm wanted,
whether they like it or not.

SpongeBob WorkPants reporting
for duty, Mr. Krabs.

Hurry up and
get in there, boy.

Patties need flipping.

No worries, Cap'n.

(crashing)

Oops.

Eh, all in a day's work.

Now, back to doing
what I do best.

No way I can mess this up...

Heh-heh-heh-heh.

Mr. Dollar,

allow me to introduce you
to Mrs. Dollar.

"Well, hello there."

(smooching)

(SpongeBob shouting)

What the barnacles is going on?!

Mr. Krabs...

(shrieks)

(shrieking)

Mr. Krabs... are you okay?

(moans) I'm fine.

As long as me money's okay.

(bubbling, sizzling)

(male voice):
Although we have

only known each
other a short time,

I just wanted you to know,

I love you.

(woman crying)

(both crying)

(nervous laugh)

If I were you, I'd get as far
away from me as possible.

Idiot boy!

(whimpering)

I guess that's it, then.

lf Mr. Krabs is calling me
idiot boy, it must be true.

I know what must be done.

(loud sobbing)

(SpongeBob crying)

(sobbing)

(sighs)

I've somehow managed to make
everyone mad at me.

At least you still
like me, right, Gar?

(snarling)

I'll miss you, too, buddy.

There's a year's supply

of snail food for you.

Good-bye, pineapple.

Good-bye, Squidward.

Good-bye, Patrick.

Good-bye, Sandy.

Good-bye, Bikini Bottom.

Good-bye, life as I know it.

"Welcome to Bikini Bottom."

"Population ."

Minus one.

Idiot boy, idiot boy,
idiot boy...

idiot boy... idiot boy...

ldiot boy,
idiot boy, idiot boy...

Idiot boy.

(blowing raspberry)

(growls)

(growling)

(birdlike cry)

(screaming)

(panting)

Whoa!

(screams)

(clang)

Ooh, boy, that's quite a lump.

D-ohh!

(slurping)

(slurping)

Patrick, where's
SpongeBob?

I don't know.

I've been knocking on
his door for three hours.

I need his hot sauce
for my milkshake.

We ain't got time for that.

Hyah!

(meowing)

Gary?

Where are you, little guy?

Gary!

Gary...

(sloshing)

(meowing)

Gary! What happened to you?

(sad meowing)

A note!

"To whom it may concern...

"If you've found this letter,
that means Gary's food bowl

"is empty and that it needs to
be refilled.

"It also means it's been
approximately one year

"since I've split town
and no one's noticed 'til now.

"No one needs to worry.
I won't bother anyone again.

"Sincerely, SpongeBob.

A.K.A. Idiot Boy."

MAN:
I could use this.

WOMAN:
Yeah, I like these here.

This is top quality.

Beautiful.
Top quality.

Hello, there.

What's going on?

Oh, we thought you were
taking a dirt nap,

but, uh... we, uh...
organized your clothes

for you, SpongeBob.

Are you talking to me?

Isn't this your name?

I don't know. Is it?

You don't know your name?

All I know is, I hit my head
on some rocks.

Now I can't seem
to remember anything.

Ur... well, then,

l'll remind you that
these are not your clothes,

and your name isn't
SpongeBob. It's uh...

Mm... CheeseHead
BrownPants.

Ha-ha. That's it.

CheeseHead, huh?

Wait a minute.

What's this?!

Bubbles?

(shrieking)

I wonder what got into them.

(distant car horns honking)

We interrupt this program
for an important announcement.

Bikini Bottom is literally in a
state of total chaos tonight.

Ow!

Literally!

We go now to News Sea Chopper .
What's up?

Not looking too good
up here, Perch.

The Krusty Krab is just about
to come apart at the hinges.

Customers are in a rage

over not getting
their Krabby Patties.

Squidward! Where the
barnacles is SpongeBob?

This place is going
down the toilet.

Patties need flipping.

If I knew, do you think
I'd be standing here

getting yelled at by
a bunch of morons?

Don't talk back to your
superior officer, you...

(angry jabbering)

(door opens)
SANDY: Squidward!
Mr. Krabs!

Y'all seen SpongeBob?

I think we just
went through this.

What he means to say
is no, we haven't.

Well, apparently,
he's left Bikini Bottom,

and he ain't coming back.

Let me see that!

"To whom it may concern...
(mumbling)... aka."

"Aka"?

Idiot Boy?

Idiot boy!

It is SpongeBob!

What am I gonna do
without me fry cook?

What am I gonna do
without my best friend?!

I should never have
been mean to you.

(sobbing)

I shoulda never kicked you
out of my house!

(sobbing)

If I'd known that was the last
time I'd ever see SpongeBob,

I would have slammed the door
in his face even harder.

(laughing)

(sobbing)
(laughing)

All right!

Group meeting.

Everybody out!

The Krusty Krab's closed
until further notice.

Now, how do you propose we find
me moneymaking employee?

(distant siren blares)

Whoo! I live in a dump.

Whoa!

Hey, watch where
you're stepping.

Sorry, sir.
I was just...

I know what you was doing.

You was doing the old
"bump into the sucker

"and reach into his pockets
and take his change" routine.

Well, it ain't gonna
work this time.

You want money, get
a job, you deadbeat.

I'm a jobless deadbeat?

What a sad existence
I don't remember I lead.

(stomach growling)

Ooh. Seems like
I'm running on empty.

(sighs)
Not a penny to my name.

Well, I guess if I want
to fill the hole in my gut,

I'll need to fill
a job somewhere.

Help wanted?

Well, Mr... BrownPants.

You seem to have left this
entire application blank.

(laughs)
I can't remember a thing.

Well, do you have
any special skills?

Special skills...

Oh! I can do this.

(blowing)

(shrieks, shudders)

What do you think you're doing?

Sorry, sir, but we run
a respectable business here.

Okay. I guess they don't
want you blowing bubbles,

unless it directly relates
to the job at hand.

Thanks for the job, boss.

You won't be disappointed.

That's real sweet, BrownPants,

but I don't hear
that hammer pounding.

Then this must be
music to your ears.

Ah! Neptune's son!

What are you doing?!

You aren't doing that on my
building site. You're fired.

I do not understand this.

What is wrong with this city?!

Maybe it's not the city.

Maybe it's me.

Hey, mister! Look at me,
mister! Look at me!

Is there something
wrong with me?

(shrieks)

SANDY:
Listen up, y'all.

l've got a plan
to bring back SpongeBob.

You do?
Yup. And it involves this.

lt'll track any sponge
within a -mile radius.

Oh, you're saying this thing
can actually find SpongeBob?

You got it, Squid Cakes,
but it's gonna take

all of us to find...

(Squidward yelling and pounding)

(all gasp)

(panting)

Oops. I dropped it.

Mr. Squidward!

This device was me last chance

to get this place
back into ship-shape.

And since you destroyed it, I'm
ordering you to find SpongeBob.

Ha-ha-ha.

I wouldn't seek out that twit
for all the leotards in the sea.

lf you don't find him,
you'll be out of a job forever.

Ha. Is that your version
of a threat?

Oh, Squidward. Don't forget
your retirement gift.

Mr. Krabs, I am not interested
in any... Eeee! Is that

a hand-crafted, jewel-
encrusted, ornamental egg?

That'll complete my collection.

Oh, thank you, thank you,
thank you, Mr. Krabs.

Not so fast!

Bring back me number
one fry cook first.

(shivering)

Real drag, isn't it?

Having to stand around a
fire for warmth every night.

Yeah. Huh.
Not for us.

We're just waiting in line
for a new video game.

l guess I am
just a jobless deadbeat.

(sighs)

Do you guys mind if I bubble?

(gasps) You can't do that here!

But bubbles will steady
the old nerves. Watch.

Ah! See? Feeling better already.

(shrieking)

(all screaming)

Don't look!

A bubble!

Oh, no, it's a bubble!
(all scream)

(fingers snapping)

(rhythmic finger-snapping)

(rhythmic knocking)

Do you have any...?

I think we've made our point
with the snapping.

As I was saying, do you have
any idea who we are?

Um, hold on, wait, wait,
don't stop me. Um...

Don't answer.
(chuckles)

I'll show ya.

We call us
the "Bubble Poppin' Boys,"

and article one of our charter

prohibits bubble-blowing
on our turf.

(grunting)

You see why we don't allow
bubbles in our city?!

Fortunately, we have ways
of dealing

with careless bubble-blowers
like you.

Let's rough him up, boys.

(fists smacking)

Where'd he go?

After him!

(screams)

(panting)

(teeth chattering)
(growling)

Ah, I'll be making this getaway
in comfort.

(panting)

(gasps)

(all grunting)

You, you did it!

Sir, do you realize
what you've done?

No.

You have freed this city.

Citizens of New Kelp,
come out of the shadows

'cause CheeseBoy kicked
the Bubble Poppin' g*ng
right out of town!

Thank you, CheeseBoy!
Thank you, CheeseBoy!

What an amazing gift
CheeseBoy has given us.

Actually, it's CheeseHead.

Well, CheeseHead,

this is an historic day
for New Kelp City.

You have rid this city
of the Bubble Poppin' Boys

and restored bubble-blowing
to the streets... (laughs)

something I wasn't able
to do for years as mayor.

For this, I appoint you
mayor of New Kelp City.

(tires squeal)

ALL:
Long live Mayor CheeseHead!

(all cheering)

SANDY:
SpongeBob!

SpongeBob!

SpongeBob!

Buddy, you there?

SpongeBob!

Maybe someone at that truck stop
has seen

our porous little buddy.

SpongeBob!

There he is, guys!

Huh?
SpongeBob!

(blubbering): Oh, I knew
l'd find you, buddy!

Look at you! You haven't
changed a bit!

Let's go home and eat
a gallon of seanut butter.

That's not SpongeBob,
Patrick. (clanging)

There's SpongeBob.

(gasps)

I'll get you out
of this cage, buddy!

You're safe now in my arms. Huh?

Where'd you go now?

(wailing) Uh, Pat, all the
ink came off on your belly.

Oh.

Now let's see what that
little critter's up to.

"New mayor of..." (gasps)

SpongeBob's mayor
of New Kelp City!

("Hail To the Chief" plays)
Citizens of New Kelp City,

I don't know much about politics
or balanced budgets

or how to be a "leader."

I'm not exactly sure
what a "mayor" is,

but I do know this: While I am
wearing the mayor's hat,

it will always be safe

to blow bubbles on the streets
of New Kelp,

or my name isn't
CheeseHead BrownPants.

(all cheer)

CheeseHead BrownPants?

New Kelp City has
BrownPants mania!

(cheering)

SANDY:
Hang on a minute!

I don't mean to put a damper
on the mood here,

but Bikini Bottom needs you
back, SpongeBob.

What's that?

Oh, I'm sorry I yelled at you,
buddy.

Oh, this is a surprise.

Surprised I found you?

No, surprised at seeing
a talking weasel.

(gasps) It's me, Sandy!

Don't pretend you don't remember
me, SpongeBob.

Sorry, Sandy,
but I'd probably remember

an underwater talking weasel.

You may not remember
the weasel,

but you haven't
forgotten your best
friend, have you?

I have no idea
how that got there.

All I remember
is hitting my head,

blowing some bubbles,
and now, poof, I'm mayor.

You must have lost your memory
when you hit your head.

You'll just have
to come back with us
to Bikini Bottom.

The familiar surroundings will
bring your memory right back.

Uh, sorry, weasel girl,
l can't leave.

These people need my leadership.
In fact, I'm late for a meeting.

("Hail To the Chief" plays)
(all cheering)

SpongeBob, wait!

(tires squeal)

Don't just stand there, get in!

Squidward?!
Hurry up!

Decorative egg, here I come.

(tires squeal)

Here it is.

You must recognize
this place.

Nope.

Don't recognize
The Krusty Krab?

Stop your kidding, boy,
and start frying up
them patties.

I was a fry cook before?

Aye, the best
in the business.

Now get flippin'!

Look, guys, as much as I'd love

to toil the days away
flipping burgers,

I think I'll just go back
to my modest job

as mayor of a major city.

Whoo-hoo-hoo! SpongeBob's
leaving for real this time!

Mr. Krabs, I brought back
your number-one fry cook.

You got to pay up.

All right, Mr. Squidward,
a deal's a deal.

Here's your fancy egg.

♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪
Oh, it's beautiful.

♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah,
hallelujah. ♪
(weeping)

No!

(gasping)

(groaning)

You okay, SpongeBob?

Yeah, just a bit of a headache,
Sandy.

Hey, I remember this place!

SpongeBob's back!

We're really sorry we ran you
out of town, boy,

but we're glad you're back.

I'd really love to stay,

but the people of New Kelp City
need their mayor.

Good-bye, everyone.

Huh? Huh?
Oh, not again.

He's leaving... again!

MAN (on TV): Stop what
you're doing and don't
go out that door.

This is a KNKC special report.

Panic in the streets
of New Kelp City,

as rampant bubbles bring
visibility down to zero.

The angry citizens here
blame the apocalyptic scene

on Mayor CheeseHead BrownPants

and his newly-enacted
bubble policy.

If I ever see Mayor BrownPants
again, I'm gonna grab

his little yellow head
and literally rip his...

Where's SpongeBob?!

Order up! Who wants to be
a dumb ol' mayor

when you're the best fry cook
in town?

(laughs) And how could I ever
leave behind my bestest friend?

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!

Krabby Patty!

SpongeBob, another masterpiece.

It's great to have
you back, Spongy.

Ah, looks like I'm back
in Bikini Bottom forever.