06x04 - Not Normal/Gone

[bunniefuu]

Are you ready, kids?

[kids] Aye-aye, Captain!

I can't hear you.

Aye-aye, Captain!

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple

Under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow

And porous is he ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense

Be something you wish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck

And flop like a fish ♪

-♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

-Ready?

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants

SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

[cackles]

[plays fluty tune]

[SpongeBob laughing]

[groans]

What the... [grunts] ...now?!

[SpongeBob babbling]

Stop!

What could you possibly

be trying to do this time?

I'm not trying to do anything.

I'm having a decent morning.

By running around

and screaming like a banshee?

Oh, Squidward,

a banshee screams like this!

[horrifying shriek]

There are two kinds of people.

There are people

that are normal.

-And then there's you.

-Really?

Yes, really! Maybe you should

start acting a little more...

normal! [seethes]

I'm... not normal?

[angry muttering]

[sighs]

Squidward!

How does one become normal?

Well, how about you start by...

getting away from me,

you little creature!

What's wrong with me?

I need to understand normal!

"How To Be Normal."

Hmm. This videotape should help.

Are you tired of

being called a freak?

Do people throw you out

of their homes? Well? Do they?

Yes, yes and yes!

Then join me as I take you on

a Journey into Normality.

Normality.

The life of a normal person

is relatively simple.

Here is your typical average

Joe on his way to work.

See how he is dressed.

Even his hair is boring.

Notice his features.

Nice and smooth,

without a crater

or freckle to be seen.

Crater? And freckles?

In his office space,

Mr. Normal...

...at least,

that's on his name tag...

...works at a monotonous pace,

just as all

the other normals do.

Take note of how

they communicate.

[both] Hi! How are you?

[bell rings]

At the end of the day,

Mr. Normal packs his things

and goes home to merrily start

the cycle again

in the morning.

Yeah...

-I want one Krabby Patty.

-Oh, great.

SpongeBob,

I need one Krabby Patty.

What, no annoying blurbs today?

Hmm... strangely quiet.

[keys clacking]

SpongeBob?

-Hi, how are you?

-What's the meaning of this?

I took your advice.

From now on, I'm normal.

-"Normal," huh?

-Yeah.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah.

Whatever. I know you're just

waiting to say something stupid.

Wonderful weather we're having.

Um... yes, it is.

OK, see you around.

Yeah. I'll, uh, I'll see you.

SpongeBob! What're you doing,

sitting around?

We need Krabby Patties

out there!

Yes, sir.

I'll do it... normally.

Eh?

Wow, that's all it takes

these days, huh?

Can you do more?

Oh, my!

It's like printing money!

I wonder what got

into SpongeBob.

-[tires screech]

-And what the heck is that?!

Whose house is this?

Hi, how are you?

-Hi, SpongeBob.

-Hi, how are you?

Good. Just came by

to get a drink.

Wonderful weather we're having.

-It sure is.

-OK, see you around.

Yeah. [chuckles] See you.

Oh, my.

I could get used to this.

[upbeat music]

There you are, sir.

-[watch beeps]

-Oh, yes, it's time again!

I've been meaning to say this,

but I've come to appreciate

your demeanor lately.

You know,

it's a funny thing, Squidward.

I smoothed out

the edges of my personality,

and the rest just followed suit.

Now, I am utterly normal.

[crunching]

[grunts] That ain't right.

I will never spend money here

again.

-Never?!

-Come on, guys.

These patties ain't worth

the paper they're printed on.

Wait! Where are you going?

[yells] SpongeBob!

What're you doing back here?

Do you expect the customers

to eat this?

Thanks to you,

they're leaving in boatloads.

[dissatisfied grumbling]

-Maybe this thing is out of ink.

-[sighs]

No, boy, you're missing

the point.

You can't make Krabby Patties

with ink and paper.

You gotta put your heart

into it.

Now, get back to making patties

the right way,

and stop acting so dull.

What you call dull,

I call normal.

Well, till you decide to start

making them patties

the way only you can,

I want you out of my place.

The decision to be normal

was more life-changing

than I thought.

-Hi, how are you?

-What happened to you?

-Oh, I got normal.

-Whatever that means.

Hey, SpongeBob,

what do you say we charge

into Jellyfish Fields,

nets ablaze!

Oh, let's do something normal,

like window shopping.

Let's do this!

[grunts, strains]

-Yeah! Hey, your turn.

-I think I'll pass.

I do need to de-fragment

my hard drive. Like to help?

Hey, listen.

When you decide to do something

fun, you know where to find me.

OK, see you around.

[doorbell rings]

Hi, how are you?

I never thought

I'd hear myself say this,

but please come in, SpongeBob!

Thank you.

Tell me, what are you doing

cooped up in here

when the weather outside

is so... normal?

Well, today is dusting day,

the day I dust

my self-portraits.

That's something you don't see

in the average house.

You know, SpongeBob, it's OK

to be a little different.

And you know what else

is abnormal?

Your nose is all bulbous

and flappy.

Your eyes are a little odd too.

Looks like your whole face

could use some work.

[squeaking]

There we go. See?

-Looking normal-er already.

-[screams]

One more thing.

You don't wear pants.

And stay out of my home!

[sighs]

Hmm. What happened?

I lost my job, my best friend,

and now I'm too normal

for Squidward.

Maybe I have taken

this normal thing too far.

No problem, SpongeBob.

You made yourself normal.

Now all you have to do

is re-weird yourself.

All it'll take

is a mental adjustment

and some tight clenching.

Now, focus...

And clench... [strains]

Oh, well.

If I'm going to get weird,

I'm going to need to see

a professional.

[mumbles incoherently, laughs]

That's very nice, Patrick,

but I need you to retrain me.

I want to be abnormal again.

Huh. I don't think

you have what it takes.

Please, Patrick.

If anyone can teach me

the arcane art of the weird,

it's you.

Teach me how to be me again!

It won't be easy...

-But I'll do it!

-Oh, thank you, Patrick!

First, I'll need a garden hose

and a flat-bed truck.

And I'll need you

to remove your trousers.

[laughter]

Patrick, I'm feeling

very self-conscious right now.

Try to concentrate

on your first lesson in weird.

See you on the other side,

buddy!

[laughs]

-[truck horn]

-Whoo-hoo!

[SpongeBob screams]

Mommy, Mommy,

what are those things?

Those are undesirables, honey.

We only talk to normal people.

SpongeBob!

The weird therapy is working!

Your craters are coming back!

We just have to keep

pushing the boundaries.

We've gotta get stranger!

Talk backwards!

Tap erus uoy era?

[belches]

It's happening!

The final transformation!

-Huh?

-What happened?

I don't know. I guess

I became... permanently normal.

No!

I don't want to be normal!

[sobs]

-[knocking]

-Go away! We're mourning!

[flatly] It's me, Squidward.

I'm looking for SpongeBob.

-Hi.

-[dramatic music]

How are you?

[screams]

SpongeBob, you're back

to your square shape!

Wow, I guess Squidward's

normal looks

scared me back

to my original form!

Thanks, buddy!

You saved my life.

Wonderful weather we're having,

hmm?

It sure is, buddy. It sure is.

[both laugh]

[snores]

[fog horn]

[grunts]

[yawns]

[whistles]

[strains] Whoa...

[crash]

Gary, come and get it!

Gary? Gary? Gary?

Gary? Gary!

Huh. Gary must've gotten

an early start.

Rise and shine, Squidward!

You don't wanna be late again.

OK, see you at the Krusty Krab.

I guess Squidward

needs his beauty sleep.

Not everyone is blessed

with my natural good looks.

Patrick, it's morning!

You don't want to forget

to wake up again.

Patrick?

OK, see you after work,

sleepy-head.

[whistles]

[grunts] La-la-la-la-la-la-la!

[clock ticks]

[bell rings]

Hmm. Slow day.

Goodnight, Squidward.

Goodnight, Mr. Krabs.

Gary, I'm home!

Gary? You here, buddy?

Gary?

[gasps] He hasn't touched

his food!

[screams] Squidward! Open up!

Squidward, have you seen Gary?

He's gone missing!

Squidward?

Not a sign of Squidward

anywhere.

Squidward?

You up here?

Hmm, Squidward's clarinet.

[slobbering noises]

It's not even warm.

Squidward's missing too!

Patrick! Open up!

Squidward and Gary are missing!

[pants]

Patrick's gone too.

What if everybody's gone?

-[pounding on door]

-Mr. Krabs?!

[gasp] He's gone too!

Sandy! She's gone.

Gone.

Gone.

Gone.

Gone.

Gone!

[hyperventilating]

Where did everybody go?!

[echoes] Go?

Go?!

Go?!

Everybody's gone.

But I swear that I will keep the

memory of Bikini Bottom alive,

by living out their lives

for them.

[inhales]

[SpongeBob laughs on recording]

SpongeBob, would you be quiet?

You're disrupting my genius.

[plays clarinet badly]

Mr. Krabs, sir,

can I have a raise?

No! Now get to work!

Yes, sir, Mr. Krabs, sir!

Excuse me, sonny, may I have

a Krabby Patty Deluxe, please?

Right away, sir!

I mean... whatever.

Hey, SpongeBob,

we've got an order

for a Krabby Patty Deluxe.

Heaven knows why.

[giggles] Coming up, Squidward!

-[snores]

-[alarm clock ringing]

Excuse me, Sandy,

but may I have some more

of this delicious iced tea?

Why, sure!

Whoops, just a sec.

Why, sure enough, SpongeBob.

Good morning, class.

Can anyone tell me the first

thing you do when riding a boat?

[clears throat] Floor it?

That's right, you floor it.

Excellent work, SpongeBob!

Why thank you, Mrs. Pu... [sobs]

Pu... Puff! [cries]

This is pointless!

I'm no Mrs. Puff!

I can't replace everyone!

I'll never be happy again.

[sniffs]

Ooh, my driver's license!

That's the baby.

Hi, fella, it's me.

[engine revs]

It's OK, I'm licensed.

[sings to himself]

[engine rattles]

Oh, yeah, listen to that purr.

[sings to himself]

Goodnight, Boaty.

[mutters fitfully]

[yells]

No. No. No! No!

[pants]

Oh, Gary, I had a nightmare

that all my friends were gone.

And I was driving a... [screams]

-[engine revs]

-So, it was true.

I guess it's just you and me

now, Boaty.

[upbeat music]

[laughs]

[smash]

This is where I work.

Want to help me cook up

some Krabby Patties? Great!

Back when everyone was around,

they used to really enjoy these.

-Here, try one.

-[buzz saw noise]

What?

You don't like Krabby Patties?

Huh! Well, I guess

we can still make this work.

Whew. Boy, we learned a lot

about each other today.

You know, I thought I'd go crazy

without all my friends around,

but it looks like you were

all I needed to stay sane!

[engine rumbles]

What?

A puppet of my old best friend?

[rumbles]

Made entirely

of Krabby Patty meat?

[rumbles]

[laughs]

Oh, Boaty, you are a card.

Sorry I'm late, Patrick.

Boaty was telling me a joke.

"You're awfully chummy

with that guy

for someone who

has it out for you."

Who? Boaty? [giggles]

Oh, no, he's...

Really?

"I can't talk now.

He's watching us."

Wait, Patrick! Don't go!

[engine rumbles]

Huh?

[stammers] Nothing, Boaty, I...

I'm just going to bed. [giggles]

Dear diary, not sure

if I can trust any vehicle.

Run for it as soon as

the coast is clear.

[tense music]

[screams]

[screams]

[screams]

[screams]

Huh?

Sheesh, calm down, boy.

You're all still alive?

Where did you go?

It was National

No SpongeBob Day!

National No SpongeBob Day?

Yeah. A whole day dedicated

to getting away from you.

A day? But you guys

have been away for weeks.

Uh... [chuckles]

Yeah, well...

we kind of milked it a little.

[gasps] You too, Patrick?

[scoffs] Yeah. Everybody needs

at least one day away from...

[imitates SpongeBob's laugh]

[sniffs] Well, glad you had fun.

Aw, cheer up, boy. It's

a whole day inspired by you.

Really?

Of course!

First, we build a giant

wooden effigy of you,

then we burn it to the ground!

-[cheering]

-Woo-hoo! Burn, baby!

And dance on the ashes

like there was no tomorrow.

Wow!

A whole day dedicated to me.

[giggles]

Big deal.

Wait till you see

No Patrick Day.

Come on, everyone. Let's go!

[all cheer]

Where'd everybody go?

Hello?

Hello?