12x09 - Karen's Baby/Broken Alarm

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Are you ready, kids?

All:
Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you.

All:
Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Ohh...

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪

All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪

All: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪

Oh.
Mm...

[moans]

Oh.

Karen, I...

[gasps] Oh, sorry,
Planky-bear.

I'm just a little distracted

waiting for our baby
to be delivered.

Oh, well, that makes sense.

A baby?

I don't want a baby.

It's too late
to stop it now.

It's been nine months
and the baby is

no longer on back order.

Can we ask
for store credit instead?

Ah.

[whimsical music]

- [doorbell rings]
- My baby's here.

Ah!
[guffaws]

Not if I have anything
to say about it.

[grunting]

[dramatic music]

[alarm blares]

[whirs]

[bell rings]

♪

[beam zaps]

[chuckles]

- [giggles]
- [squeals joyfully]

Oh, Planky-Poo,
look how cute our baby is.

Oh, please, that thing isn't
even a graphing calculator.

Weak.
Oh, come on.

How can you look at our baby's
itty wittle keyboard

and say he's not the cutest?

[gasps] I have
the perfect name for him.

Well, don't you wanna
know the name?

- Not really.
- It's Chip.

He's named
after my grandfather.

- Oh.
- [crying]

[groans]
Great.

Here we go with the crying.

Will you please
hush that thing up?

Oh. [indistinct baby talk]

[groaning]

- [Chip stops crying]
- Mm?

There you go.
All better.

Wow, how did you do that
so fast?

Simple, I just typed - - -

in his cute little keyboard.

I don't get it.

[tranquil music]
Shhh.

[groans]

At least
it can't get more annoying.

- [giggles]
- Hello.

[giggles]

[audience cheers and claps]

[groans]

[giggles]
A little drone told me

you two are new parents.

So I just had to bring over
a little present for the baby.

Hello, baby.
[giggles]

Oh, I think little Chip
likes you.

Obviously not the brightest
diode in the box.

Look, Chip,
your uncle SpongeBob

got you a little something.

It's a can of compressed air

to keep your keys
nice and clean,

like this.
Ah.

[grunts]
Phew.

[grunts]

[giggles]
Ah!

[giggles]

[bubbling]

[beeping]

Come on, walk to Mommy.

- [babbles]
- That's it.

You can do it.

You're walking, baby.

[chuckles]
You call that walking?

This is walking.

[upbeat music]

This is how you do it.

This is how it's done.

[giggles, babbling]

[screeching lightly]

Ah! Mama's big boy
is upgrading.

[laughs]

Aw.

[humming]

Whoa, ah.
[grunts]

[screams]

[grunts, coughs]

This stinks.

[bubbling]

Let's see
if we can find some friends

for Mama's special little boy.

You need to interface
with someone fun.

Try that videogame over there.

It doesn't look too dangerous.

[squeals]

[graphics beep]

Oh.

[zapping]

Careful, Chip.

Uh, those monsters are too big.

Come out of that game right now.

[dramatic music]

Chip, get out of there.

[grunting]

[slack-key guitar music]

♪

[laughs] So you think you
can do whatever you want

because you're a teenager now.

You just wait until I tell your father.

[screeches]

What did you just say to me?

[groans]

[bubbling]

I told Chip that game
was too dangerous,

and do you know
what he said to me?

[screeches]

And?

[groans]

Just talk to your son.
I need to cool my circuits.

[playful music]

Ooh, uh, hey, buddy.

Heh, what you doing?

Eh...

Yeah, I hear you.

So, uh, what happened
at the arcade?

[mimicking weapons sh**ting]

[mimics dolphin clicking,
groans]

What?

Your mother stopped your game,

even though
you were crushing it?

Your mother clearly
doesn't get you, man.

But I have the perfect solution
to your problem.

Run away.

Huh?

Yes, I said run away.

Take off, see the world.

You do you.

[beeping]

Eh, now get out of here,
you little scamp.

♪

[humming]

So, how was your talk
with Chip?

Oh, it went great.
He's a good boy.

Yeah, he wh... where...
Where is he?

- Oh, he ran away.
- What?

Why would my baby run away?

Because I told him to.
Duh.

[groaning] Ah!
[powers whirring]

[screams]

[grunts]

[dramatic music]

[screams]

[grunts]
Karen, baby,

let's be reasonable here.

You find our son and bring
him home this instant

or don't bother coming home.

[screams]
I'm going, I'm going!

[bubbling]

[overlapping chatter]

Chip, Chip.

Where are you, boy?

Come to Daddy.

Ugh, what am I saying?

Chip, Chip.

Psst, hey, kid, you lost?

Meh.

Running away from home, huh?
Cool.

Why don't you come hang
with me and my buddies?

Oh, don't be scared. In here.

Check it out, guys.

I found us a new friend.

Both: [whirring]

[spring boings]

[whirring]

[indistinct]

I know, right? It is cool here.

There's just one thing.

If you wanna be part of us,

we're gonna need your parts.

[beeps]

[whirring inquisitively]

Uh-oh.

[squeals]

[menacing music]

♪

[giggles]

[beeps alarmingly]

Oh, come on, kid,
don't be like that.

We've all done it.

Get him!

[screams]

[beeps]

[grunts]

♪

[groans]

[beeping]

♪

[screeches]

Chip, your mother's gonna
k*ll me if I can't find you.

- [screech]
- Huh?

[antennae beep]
[gasps]

That's him.
He's in trouble.

Don't worry, son.
Daddy is coming.

Get away from my son.

[groans]
[saw whirs]

Mm?

Get away from me!

[screams]

Father.

[groans]

Leave my father alone.

Your first word was father.

Wait until I rub this
in Karen's face.

[chuckles]

[heroic music]

[groans]

[tires squeal]

[mimics sh**ting]

[mimics sh**ting]

Oh.

♪

No!
The delicious horror.

Ah!

[bubbling]

Oh, you should've seen it,
Karen.

Chip was all like,
"Stay away from my Daddy,

"who is the most brilliant,
handsome genius in the world."

Oh, brother.

Aw, we had got
the best kid ever.

[giggles]

[whirs, beeps]

[slack-key guitar music]

Oh! [giggles]

Aw.

Come on, son,
let your old man buy you

a quart of oil.

Whoo-hoo!
[giggles]

Yes.

Sorry, Dad, I'd love to,
but I'm leaving for college.

I went to college.

Both: [sobbing]

♪

[whirs, beeps]

♪

Eight semesters later...

[lively music]

- [humming]
- [chuckles]

Ouch, watch it, Karen.

We don't want Chip
to know we're spying

on his first day at work.

[whistling]

[beeping]

Beep, beep, beep, beep,
beep, beep.

[giggles]

[cash register rings]

Mm?
Hmm...

[groaning, grunting]

[playful music]

Hey, what...?
[groaning]

Ah.
Hey.

Hey.
Give me my money.

[sobbing]

[laughs]
That's my boy.

[Tranquil music]

♪

Are you ready, kids?

All:
Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you.

All:
Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Ohh...

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪

All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪

All: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

All:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob
SquarePants!

SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

[waves crashing]

[bubbling]
[thump]

[tense music]
[overlapping chatter]

Mr. Squidward.

What is happening
in me restaurant?

The customers
have gone crazy.

Ah!

SpongeBob is late for work,
so there's no food.

[gasps] But he's never been
late for work in his life.

Oh, this can only mean
one thing.

[bell rings]

SpongeBob has passed away.

All: [gasps]

[sobbing]

[solemn music]

♪

Or... maybe he's just
seriously injured.

[chuckles]

All: [sobbing]
- Oh, yeah,

that's still bad, isn't it?

[sobs]

I had no idea you cared
that much about SpongeBob.

Of course.

He's been a loyal employee.

His passing would be a great
loss to me bank account.

Oh, I... to me personally,
of course.

Now, come on,

we have to go check on
SpongeBob's possible remains.

With pleasure.

- [groans]
- What? Too soon?

[bubbling]

[solemn music]

Prepare yourselves
for the horror.

Or the joy.

Let's not be downers
about this.

- Oh, yeah.
- Okay.

But probably, like I said,

the horror.

All: [gasp]

[door creaks open]

[whispering chatter]

[suspenseful music]

Neptune's nightmare.

That snail is eating
SpongeBob's face.

Get away from him.

[groans]

[overlapping chatter]
Such a nice kid.

I... I...
[babbles]

Oh, good morning, everyone.

[upbeat music]

[disappointed chatter]

SpongeBob, you're alive!

I am?
Well, thank goodness.

Wait, why wouldn't I be alive?

You were late to work,
so we assumed the worst.

You mean "the best."

Late to work?
But that's impossible.

My trusty alarm clock
always waked me up.

See?
Ah.

Well, how do you like that?
It's unplugged.

Well, we'll just fix that
and I'll never be late again.

Oh.
[grunts]

[playful music]

[grunts]

Ah.

Oh, my clock!

- Huh? Ah.
- Mm?

Looks like you need
a new clock, boyo.

Oh, I could never replace
my old clock, Mr. Krabs.

We've been through
too much together.

It's the only alarm clock
I've ever owned.

I can fix it.

Eh, good luck.

But you better
not be late tomorrow.

Or else.

Did that stupid clock
give me a bump on my head?

- [scream]
both: Ugh.

- [snoring]
- Oh, come on, come on.

I still love you.
Let me fix you.

Wow!

[grunts, gulps, exhales]

Ooh, hey, SpongeBob,
what're you doing?

Mm.

Oh, I'm just trying to fix
this old alarm clock.

I'm gonna need that part you
swallowed, by the way.

That's cool.

Just give me a couple of hours.

You know, I could totally fix
your clock for you.

[laughs]

Oh, I don't know, Patrick.

This clock means a lot to me
and...

[eager giggle]

Well, okay, are you sure?

Absolutely.
Don't you worry.

I promise to be super careful.

[grunting, groaning]

Ah!

- Why don't you fix?
- [screaming]

[tense music]

Hmm?
Uh...

Sorry, SpongeBob,
I couldn't fix it.

Thanks for trying, Patrick,

but I guess nothing
lasts forever.

Looks like I'm gonna need
a new clock after all.

Hmm!
[laughs]

In that case...

[grunts]

[bubbling]

[lively music]

Um, hello?

Hello, there.

Welcome to Clock World,
where we always have time

for a bargain.

How can I help you?

Do you have another alarm
clock like my old one?

[plops]

Hmm?

[tongue slurps,
palatal click]

Ah, the Foghorn
Wake-Em-Up Grand.

I'm sorry to say they don't
make this model anymore.

But if you have a second,

I have many others
I can show you. [giggles]

Wow. So many to choose from.

Oh, I'll never be able
to choose a clock

with this many choices.

I'll just take 'em all.

Ah!, I'm rich.

[maniacal laughter]
Whoo!

Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo!

[upbeat music]

♪

[meows]

My old foghorn clock was
the only alarm clock

that could wake me up.

Sure hope one of these works.

Goodnight, Gare-bear.

[gargle snoring]

[tranquil music]

[bell rings]

[gargles]

[snores]

Male Narrator:
One hour later...

- [rooster crows]
- Huh?

[babbling]

[grunts]

Late.

I hope this one works.

[squeals]

[snoring]

[dramatic music]
[bell rings]

[groans]

Narrator: Late again...

[panting]

Late.

[snoring]

♪

Huh?

[jellyfish buzz]

Narrator: You get the idea.

Late.

Late.

Late.

Still late.
Late.

Late, late, late, late, late,
late, late.

- Still late.
- [whimpers]

Late again.

I told you before
that you best not be late

or else.

But this time,
I'll be emphasizing it

with a furrowed brow.

Or else.

[bubbling]

Oh, I don't know how many
more "or elses" I can take.

I have to figure out a way
to wake up on time.

[alarm rings]

[meows excitedly]

[lively music]
[bell rings]

♪

Hey, what a great idea.

[panting]

♪

Oh.
[moans]

[snoring]

[alarm blaring]

[bell rings]

[playful music]

[thump]

[buzz]

[spring boings]

♪

[snoring]

Hmm, I really thought that
last "or else" would've worked.

Maybe I should've
wagged my finger.

[snoring]

♪

- Ah!
- Right on time.

Looks like I won't be needing
you after all, SpongeTom.

Oh.

♪

Good morning.
[grunts]

[sizzling]

[clock cuckoos]

[meows, groans]

♪

[snoring]

♪

Sadly, it looks like your
order's on time today.

[giggles]

- [bell rings]
- D'oh!

[gleeful groans]

Glad you finally
woke up on time, boyo.

[laughs]

[bell rings]

Just five more minutes,
Gary.

Both: [grunt]

Sir, there's a line.

I'm filing a complaint.

I ordered this
with extra pickles.

And I only count fourteen.

SpongeBob,
we got a wrong order.

[snoring]

[playful suspenseful music]

[sizzling]

♪

[clock cuckoos]

[yelps]

[tense music]

♪

[snoring]

What in Poseidon's beard?

[gasps]
Oh. Oh.

Good morning, Mr. Krabs.

It's not a good morning.

First, you're late for days,

and now you destroyed
me kitchen.

[laughs nervously]

Oh, looks like it's...

Time for "or else?"

[dramatic music]
You better be at work on time

or else I'll have to open up

and close the restaurant
an hour later.

Uh, what?

No!

[door slams open]
[grunts]

[panting]

I did it.

[gasps]
Yes!

Oh, Patrick, you fixed it.

Uh, kind of.

[bubbling]

[snoring]

[foghorn blares]

[foghorn blares]

[laughter]

[Tranquil music]

♪