12x07 - The Krusty Bucket/Squid's on a Bus

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

all:

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can’t hear you.

all:

Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple

under the sea? ♪

all:

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow

and porous is he ♪

all:

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense

be something you wish ♪

all:

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck

and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- Ready?

all:

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [grumbling]

Where’s that bus?

I’ve been waiting for

almost an hour.

- Heh. Almost an hour he says.

- Hmm.

Late again.

One coin.

Exact change.

- Aha.

- Exactly.

Late.

- Oh, brother.

- Will you please watch

your speed?

And stay in the lane.

When was the last time you

cleaned this bus?

[sniffing]

Ew, it smells like

a narwhal’s armpit in here.

- All right, that’s it.

- [groaning]

- Krusty Krab.

- [groaning]

[grumbling]

You big clod.

I could do your job better than

you ever could.

- Yeah? Well, I could do your

job better than you ever could.

What’s his job?

- Oh, he’s a terrible cashier.

- That I could do.

- All right, all right.

Jumpin’ jelly fish.

I’m tired of you two

bickering every morning.

I say prove it.

Switch jobs right now and

settle it once and for all.

- I’ll take that challenge.

- You better get going, driver.

You’re already behind schedule.

[both grumbling]

- Hmm.

Ahh.

[groaning]

[gasps]

[tires squealing]

all: Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh!

- ♪ La-da-dee la-dah-dah ♪

Oh, I like this.

Good morning.

- It’s afternoon already,

clown.

Eh, ah-ah.

No sharp objects allowed.

- [munching]

- Huh?

Attention: this is your

cheerful driver speaking.

There’ll be no eating or

drinking

aboard my happy bus...

- Ohh.

Especially Krabby Patties.

This stop is Coral Boulevard.

Thank you for riding with your

merry bus driver.

And have

a beautiful da--hey.

- Squidward.

- No!

- It’s you.

- [grumbling]

- I’ve always dreamed one day

I’d board a bus

and see you driving it.

- Why am I in that dream?

- Oh, Squidward, you’re in all

my dreams.

- Get off me and pay your fare.

And you’d better have--huh?

- Exact change. Exactly.

Clink, clink, clink, clink,

clink, clink, clink, clink.

- Augh! Enough with the

pennies!

- Clink, clink, clink, clink,

clink, clink.

[humming]

Hey, Squidward.

- [grumbling]

- Hey, Squidward.

Hey, Squidward.

Hey, Squidward.

Hey, Squidward.

- What?

- I’m helping you drive.

- No, you’re not.

- Time to switch lanes.

Better use my signal.

[clicking tongue]

- Oh, oh, oh, oh-ah, ah!

Ahh!

Don’t help me drive!

- Okay.

[tires squealing]

Wow.

- Ahh, eh eh, eh.

Whew.

Oh, what am I doing?

Sit in the back.

- Okay.

- [groaning]

- What--what the...

[sighs]

Ahh!

- Objects in mirror are closer

than they appear.

Aw, let me help.

This is for softer braking.

- Augh,

the brakes don’t work.

Ahh-ahh!

Augh!

[engine revving]

Argh!

[tires screeching]

[grunts]

- Mmph! Huh? Argh.

Argh!

- Oh!

[grunts]

[all grunting]

- SpongeBob, what is

your stop,

so I can take you there right

now?

- Oh, I don’t have a stop.

Today is my bus riding day,

the day I just pick a bus and

ride it all day.

- There’s only one

thing I can think of

that could be worse.

Ahhhh!

- [chuckling]

- Augh! And that’s it!

- [chuckling]

[babbling]

- Phew. I dodged that one.

Heh-heh.

Augh!

- [chuckling]

Ehh-ehh-ehh.

[tires squealing]

[all shouting]

[tires squealing]

- Phew. That was close.

- It sure was.

I almost didn’t catch this bus.

- [groaning]

- Eeeee...Patrick. Wow.

We’re both on the

same bus on our

Just Riding Around

On The Bus Day.

What are the odds?

[both chuckling]

- Yes, what are the odds?

- I got my bus money

somewhere.

- Oh.

- Oh, there it is.

Huh, I think I left my

wallet in my other wallet.

- Don’t worry, buddy.

I’ve got exact change.

- One...

Two...

- [groaning]

- Three.

- ♪ Dah-dah-dah-dum ♪

[grunting]

[tires squealing]

- [chuckling]

- You hooligans.

- Ugh! Augh!

[tires squealing]

[explosions]

- And now SpongeBob

will attempt to catch

his high-flying partner

Patrick

while swinging from the

strap of death.

- Hey-oh!

[together]

Whoo. Whoa.

- [grunts]

[both grunting]

- Ooh...oof!

- Awwww. Ohh, yes.

- Lady, get that horrible

thing off your lap.

- I’ll do no such thing.

He’s my emotional support

animal.

Oh, yes, aren’t you?

- [panting]

[barking]

- Ohh.

- [snarling]

Rah!

[both snarling and barking]

- My leg! Oh!

[both snarling and barking]

[all groaning]

[tires squealing]

- [grumbling]

- [burps]

- [grumbling]

That’s it!

I am throwing you two off right

now.

[grumbling]

Where’s that pink pinhead?

- Oh, he’s in the restroom.

- Huh?

That’s not a restroom.

It’s the emergency exit.

[toilet flushing]

Augh!

- You’re out of toilet paper.

Who’s driving?

Well, I am, of course.

Wah!

[tires squealing]

all: Ahh!

- [grunting]

- This bus isn’t designed for

the pressure at these depths.

- Ohh!

- Ahh!

- [grunting]

- Aw, look at you.

- [chuckling]

Look at you.

[laughter]

- We’re gonna be crushed

to death.

I don’t wanna drive a bus.

- I don’t wanna be crushed.

- I don’t wanna eat

this sandwich.

Ooh, a panini, so

very continental.

[munching]

- Hey, look, a passenger. Hi.

- [gasps]

- [grunts]

[tires squealing]

- I don’t know where we’re

going.

- Don’t worry. I have a bus

map.

Take a left. Take another left.

Left. Left. Left.

Left. Left, left, left.

- I can’t see.

- We don’t need to see.

We just need to believe.

- I believe your map

is upside down.

- Oh, I can fix that.

[both grunting]

Ahh!

- Back of the line, people.

Back of the line.

[all shouting]

- Ohh.

Exact change only, please.

- [groans]

Huh?

all: Ugh!

- [groaning]

That settles it.

I quit everything.

- Huh?

- [groaning]

- The Krusty Krab Local right

on time.

One Krabby Patty, please.

- One Krabby Patty?

Yes, sir. One Krabby Patty.

- One Krabby Patty coming up.

[grunting]

- Place your orders, everybody.

Because no one can do this job

better than me.

I win.

[toilet flushing]

all: Huh?

- You're still out of

toilet paper.