12x19 - Knock Knock, Who's There?/Pat Hearts Squid

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

all:

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can’t hear you.

all:

Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple

under the sea? ♪

all:

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow

and porous is he ♪

all:

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense

be something you wish ♪

all:

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck

and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- Ready?

all:

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[jaunty nautical music]

♪ ♪

- Now remember, boyo,

I’m trusting you

to take care of me house

when I’m away.

House sitting is a very

important responsibility.

Check the windows,

and make sure

the security system

is always on your person.

- Ooh!

[bat whooshing]

Yow!

- Whoa!

- [goofy babbling]

- [gasps]

Scratch that last order.

And do not step foot

into me bedroom!

I’ve got me private things

in there.

[giggles, clears throat]

Now, Pearl is staying

with friends,

so you’ll be here all alone.

- Don’t worry, Mr. Krabs,

your house is in

good hands with me.

Hmm.

[sneezes]

Huh, huh?

See?

[laughing]

- [sighs]

Now, there’s been

a rash of robberies

in the neighborhood,

so do not open the door...

[drawn out]

For anyone!

[humming]

- [sighs, laughs]

[knocking on door]

[hums]

- I told you

not to open the door

for anyone!

- Yes, sir!

[grunts]

- [grunts]

Uh, I think the boy’s got it.

[weak laugh]

- Hmm...

[exclaims softly]

Huh?

[goofy exclamations]

Hmm.

[toilet flushes]

[goofy exclamations]

I checked everywhere

and no sign of robber--huh?

Huh, Mr. Krabs’ bedroom.

I don’t remember

his door being ajar.

There could be robbers

in there.

- Do not step foot

into me bedroom!

- Don’t worry, Mr. Krabs,

I won’t "step foot"

in your bedroom.

[laughs]

[goofy exclamations]

[curious music]

Seems pretty clear of robbers.

[sniffs, giggles]

Smells like Mr. Krabs.

Ooh, no wonder!

[laughs]

Hmm.

[humming]

Better check in here too.

[dainty tune playing]

Aww, so Puffy.

Huh?

Ooh, "Midnight Pincer."

[eagle screams]

[singer yodeling]

♪ ♪

It’s a very romantic-er-er

evening, Mrs. Puff.

[imitating Mr. Krabs’ laugh]

[exclaims]

Hmm.

[laughs]

Nighty-night, Mrs. Puff.

[goofy grunting]

Wow, look at Mr. Krabs’

knot collection.

Ooh, that dingle dangle

should "knot" be there.

[laughs]

♪ La-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪

[goofy babbling]

Huh?

[screams]

[goofy babbling]

Ooh!

[grunts]

I’m still not

setting foot in here.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, that must be

the pizza I ordered!

[doorbell ringing]

Whoop!

- Pizza delivery.

- I’m not allowed

to open the door.

Just slide the pizza

through the mail slot.

[pizza squishing, gurgling]

♪ ♪

And this is for you.

- My third

mail slot delivery tonight.

Must be a full moon.

- [slurping]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [clears throat]

I’m here for the Fast Food

Founding Fathers Convention.

- Oh, you mean FFFF.

That’ll be ¢ entrance fee.

- [shrieks]

¢?

That’s a rip-off!

I’m going home!

♪ ♪

What kind of crazy convention

charges ¢

to a Founding--

[stammers]

- Congratulations, you’re our

th person to enter!

Here’s $ , !

[triumphant music]

- What?

[holding note]

[static crackling]

[mellow music]

[lively music]

[all shouting]

[chicken clucking]

- [munching]

- Shocking Cinema

now returns

with tonight’s

frightening feature:

"Knock, Knock, You’re Dead."

[cackling]

- [shrieks]

I can’t watch this!

[grunts]

[sighs]

[knocking on door]

[shrieks, babbling]

- SpongeBob, open up!

I forgot me keys!

[groans]

SpongeBob!

Huh?

SpongeBob?

[sniffs, smacks lips]

What I always suspected:

SpongeBob is made

out of cheese!

Hmm?

Or was made out of cheese.

Oh...

- Who is it?

- It’s me, Mr. Krabs!

Open up, boy!

- You can’t be Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs is at a convention,

and he said

not to open the door

for anyone.

- What?

[stammering furiously]

Open up!

- Oh, you sound

like Mr. Krabs, robber,

but you look nothing like him!

- Hmm?

Barnacles!

Open up, you--

[stammering, grunting]

Huh. Aha!

[laughs, grunting]

[devious music]

[grunts]

[growls]

Hmm?

♪ ♪

Ugh, and I told him

to check the windows, didn’t I?

[muttering unintelligibly]

- Patrick, you’ve gotta

come over to Mr. Krabs’ place!

Someone’s trying to break in!

- [moans]

- Uh, SquarePants.

- [moaning]

- SpongeBob SquarePants.

- [moans]

- No, you’re Patrick!

Please, hurry.

- [grunting]

Huh?

Patrick?

What’s that pink clown

doing here?

Eh, who cares?

SpongeBob will never open

the door for him.

- [goofy babbling]

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

- Great horn spoon!

How’s he doing that?

[both grunting]

[both holler, grunt]

- [goofy exclamation, laughs]

Thank goodness you don’t

have any bones, buddy.

- Nope, all blubber.

[laughing]

[clattering]

- [gasps] Someone is trying

to break into Mr. Krabs’ house.

- Then we’d better

get over there right away!

- We’re already here.

- You mean you had me

walk in the rain for nothing?

- [grunting]

I’ve got it...

[grunting]

One little bit--there we go.

Huh?

[babbling]

[hollering]

[groans]

- That robber doesn’t

sound like he’s gonna give up.

Let’s set some traps.

♪ ♪

if a robber happens

to open this door--bam!

This pillow will fall

on their head.

I call it "soft justice."

- Good one.

[laughs]

Look at mine!

If a robber tries to come in

through the window,

they’ll put their hand

in this warm water

and they’ll have to run

to the bathroom!

[laughing]

- House all secure.

Now we relax.

The robber!

To the battle stations!

- [grunting]

There we go.

[grunting]

[wails]

Midnight Pincer?

It smells so wonderful,

but it burns!

[wails, grunts]

[groans]

- Take that!

[grunts]

- Desperate times

call for desperate measures.

[grunting]

- What the--

not on my watch!

[grunting]

♪ ♪

- [babbling]

[laughs]

The pet door.

Why didn’t I think

of this before?

Oh, boy.

[laughs]

Huh?

[shrieks]

- Hmm.

Hmm, cheddar.

- Sharp cheddar.

[cow moos]

- [growling]

That’s it!

Time to wreck this ball.

- No Mr. Krabs-impersonating

robber will ever get

into this house

with us on the job.

We’re tough guys.

- Yeah.

[both giggling]

Uh, I feel like

a tough guy action movie.

- Oh, the tougher

the better, buddy!

- Oh, yeah!

- [grunts]

[banging]

- Wow, Mr. Krabs sure has

an awesome TV noise machine!

[banging]

- [growling]

[grunts]

[thunder crashing]

[grunts]

I’m coming in hot!

Whoo-hoo!

[triumphant music]

both: Wow, -D!

- [groans]

[grunting]

[dramatic music]

[grunts, groans]

[sobbing]

[melancholy music]

I give up.

Here, look,

this proves

I’m the real Mr. Krabs.

both: Hmm...

hmm...

- Oh...

[laughs]

Says you’re an organ donor.

Nice.

- You play the organ?

- Give me that.

both: Sorry, Mr. Krabs.

- Oh, it’s all right.

I can’t be mad at you

for following me orders.

You did good, boyo.

You, too, Pat-o.

[both laugh]

[knocking on door]

all: Huh?

- The robber.

- Daddy, open up, it’s Pearl!

I forgot my keys!

- [grunts]

Well, you sound

like me daughter,

Mr. Robber,

but you look nothing like her!

[laughs]

[both exclaim]

- Hmm?

Hmm.

Are those me private things?

- Daddy!

[whines]

Daddy!