01x08 - Cracks in the Peppermint Ceiling Part 2

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Santa Inc.". Aired: December 2, 2021.
Candy is the highest-ranking female elf in the North Pole; who sets out to become the first woman Santa Claus in the history of Christmas.
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01x08 - Cracks in the Peppermint Ceiling Part 2

Post by bunniefuu »


Santa Claus
and the Board are corrupt!

This will end from now on.

- I have a plan!
- Good, Candy!

She is my best friend. She is mine.

Together, let's get through this!

- Yea!
- Go, girl!

We can force them to change.

Together we are stronger.

The plan is as follows...
dramatic pause, drums... a strike!

On Christmas eve,
before the sled takes off!

So we'll show Santa Claus
and to all,

who are we
that we do at Santa Inc. work.

Without us, Christmas is nothing!

- Good, Candy!
- Yea!

I knew they would like it.

And I call this plan
Operation Santa Claus Pivete.

Do you understand? Because it smells bad.
Heavens, you guys are so picky!

What about Operation f*ck Santa Claus?

- f*ck Santa Claus!
- Listen to her.

- They did it once.
- Thank you, Ms. No.

During the next month,
act normally.

Get ready for Christmas,
as always.

the superiors
cannot discover the plan.

Surprise is everything! So!

Dammit, yes!


Jingle Jim, you have to go to work

for Santa Claus not to notice.
Do you think you can?

Hide Santa Claus scenes
it's my greatest skill.

he still doesn't know
of f*ck in his office.

What do you need me to do, Candy?

I can be one of those cool spies
who has to have sex with thugs,

so that they stop being bad?

- Well, in a way, yes.
- Damn, yes!

- New season!
- Best night ever!

come in and dance

You see little hands making big food
Goblin's Kitchen, yeah

When Christmas Eve is over,

you will come back to me
and for the Thirsty Deer?

- I... I love you.
- My God!

How excellent!

He is well.

You do not love me. cool.
My ego can handle it.

Sorry, Dave-Pierre,
I just want to understand

who am i after years as a woman
from someone powerful.

I think I need to explore
which it means to be just Leonard.

You reject me for your autonomy
It makes me excited, Leonard.

You know that one day,
I would love to put a baby in there.

This is so sweet.
I'm almost years old.

Is Eamon going home?

The cabbage and his puree
they looked delicious.

Did you see his plating?

But Shannon's bread was the best.

f*ck those!

I do not want to know
of his Michelin shamrocks.

It's an assh*le.

Honey! You're back!

Hi! I used your moisturizer.

- Does not care?
- Nick!

- Does Devin live here?
- Of course! No!

- Go away, kid.
- "Kid"?

What happened to "Dr. D"?
Sorry, I have nowhere to go.

My parents hate paparazzi.

- It's all right. You can stay.
- Good!

Let me just say I'm sorry.

will you want to talk
about your problems

what is great
and what I want to do.

In fact, I'm really exhausted.

We may not talk about relationships,
right now?

Well, yes! As you want.

If it means not talking
about our relationship,

something I adore,
so let's not do that, ever!

My God.

I know you must have f*cked
the bartender,

but if we have cakes like this,
It's fine by me!

Yea! I have no idea
what are you talking about,

but I like it here.

we order food
and we play a game?

How is it, f*ck? We come back!

And this time,
we live here forever!

Wasted the money? Shocking.

- I should have bet.
- No!

We miss you,
Candy the Cynic!

Well, we did. And we squandered it.

taking what we used
that English lawyer,

to get you out of prison.
- Wait.

Biscuit said it was paid
by perverts and degenerates.

In the Jewish religion,
the gift of charity is anonymous.

It's called tzedakah.

But, in Smalls tradition,
do you want to know how much?

Not. But that's so nice.

It's almost like, I don't know,
something that those who love would do.

Come here. Candy, you're my only sister.

- Let me tell you something.
- Wait.

I have to say this now...

But what the hell?
That's what I was going to do! Come here!

Give you a fart on top!

Somebody help me!
They're attacking my... daughter!


The most important action plan:

don't let Team A eat
the Christmas Bars,

whatever it takes.

property invasion,

incredibly realistic disguises.

Even if it means sabotaging
the supply of Christmas chocolate.

We use our resources

for the exchange of energy bars.

Yes, I work here again.

Don't pretend.
I know you missed me.


We live in a landfill
of horror!


This year we will repair
the sins of the past.

With God as my witness,
while living,

there will never be
drug addiction at Santa Inc.!

I promise you that.

This is so irritating! The adrenaline?

After so many bars,
I feel like a nordic god


to command the sea to k*ll.

But I feel miserable.

Looks like I have lice.

- Should I scratch so much?
- I don't know.

- Is supposed?
- I have no idea.

The fabrics are with Candy.

I know it's a hat,
but my ass looks fatter.

Is this good or bad?
Do I leave something to the imagination?

I know it's in fashion, some people like it.

shut up? They don't know anything!

I want candy (=Candy).

It's a word and a name.

I'm weak, I need sweets.

That's what I wanted to say.
Skittles or Twix,

or a Rollo, or some shit like that.
Somebody bring me candy!

It's coming out, sir!

Anyone want a coffee? Scones?

I want a double.

I'm the best there is!

Candy thinks my scene
with Devin is a joke?

We didn't talk about it.

Candy is impossible
not have spoken badly.

I saw her once. And she didn't even mention you.

So what were they talking about?

You know us...

World problems and the like.

- Current events.
- Seriously?

Says something about the present.

There were elections on some continents

and people got involved in it
and there was some shit.

- Got you, you liar!
- I'm not lying!

Yes you are. You're nervous.

No, ma'am. I'm calm.
Very calm. Immensely calm.

The hot sauce?

So why did you eat half
of your husband with the nerves?

- My God!
- Spit it out! Already!

Candy plans a strike
on Christmas eve

for Santa Claus to understand
our importance

and finally change something!

Cookie, I would love for you to have the courage
to admit that Candy said shit

instead of inventing nonsense!

- You're on my list too!
- My God!

I dreamed that they threw me
a grenade to the legs

and that they had burst.
But it was just a dream.


Today is your big day.

thou shalt not find
someone to marry...

I can't wait for you to open it,
it's a helmet.

- I believe. Dad's helmet?
- Yea.

your father watches us
and he is very proud of you.

But if I know you well,
stop looking at my tits, Dave!

You said you'd bury him with his father.
I've seen him before, but in reverse.

Keep your vibrators here.

But, I mean... Thank you!

I have a little thing in my eye!

I feel you touching my pocket.

I'm the sled leader.
I can be late,

But I can't be late! Heavens!

Any idiot knows that,
in the day, we followed the alleys.

- What is it?
- Today, at breakfast,

my wife told me
who liked a woman.

- This is crazy!
- Not even.

- I was a lesbian when we met.
- f*ck you, Penguin!

I didn't finish talking to you.




- I did not see you.
- Don't tell me, stupid shit!

The conductors should be sh*t.
my nose! My f*cking nose!

- Help me!
- Yea! Leave me alone...

Learn not to be silly? Impossible!

Come on! Move!


Use those pixie fingers
and call a g*dd*mn ambulance!


I'm suffering, you idiot elf.

Go there! Do something!

- I'm hurt!
- I know that,

you f*cking caribou.

So why don't you ask for help?

Sorry. You are no failure.
You are so sensual.

When they sew me up, I'll f*ck you right away.

Now, go and call, please!

I hate you.

Christmas has arrived
let's give a greeting

We waited days

for Christmas to arrive

Pine trees we can smell

Ring the bell

Throw a snowball

Let's go
Christmas has arrived

So many people. How's it going?

According to the plan,
like every year.

Coolio, with LV.

Let's get these fans out.

My God, finally!

Sorry. There was a lot of traffic.

Candy, all set.

Thank you, DP!
But, Cookie, what are you doing here?

Weren't you going to load the sled?

No, I said goodbye today.
I'm officially a housewife.

I wanted to wish you luck.

Thank you, Cookie.
And I'm so happy for you.

- You look scared.
- It's just that...

And if I did something really bad,

but for the greater good?

did you hire someone
to k*ll Craig?

- Because now we're fine!
- Greetings!

It's the sunset here
at beautiful Santa Inc.

i.e. Start Operation

f*ck Santa Claus!
- What the hell?

the strike has arrived

- strike, strike
- Let's all have a Hurrah!

We always had to accept

And the strike has finally arrived

our souls we sell
They can all go to hell

A year ago I lost a toe!
Santa Claus is a sucker!

But I can still walk!

I bled for this company

Green and red

Now I have an empty account

And my heart is d*ad

The strike is finally

finally, finally

Holy God, end


The strike has finally arrived

- What the hell is this?
- A strike, honey!


- Health is a...
- Right!

- Maternity leave is not...
- Vacation!

- The risk allowance...
- It's deserved!

- Santa Claus and the Board can...
- Suck our d*ck!

I know you have complaints
against me

and my management.

But you want to f*ck me so bad,

that you would destroy Christmas
for millions of children.

You won't manipulate me anymore!

No way! And the children...

And the children of your employees?

You've been screwing them for generations!

Don't talk to me about the children.
Don't worry about them.

- He cares about himself.
- You don't know what you're saying.

Did not know. But now I know.

I know everything, Santa Claus. I know everything.

About methamphetamine,
the bribes,

payments to coal families

and the illegal titanium exported
of arms dealers,

in the Middle East,
for the implants in your cervix.

It's a lie! What are you talking about?

You look stoned now.

You have big and small pupils
and you look f*cked up!

I know I'm right.

I can tell the press now,
tell everyone,

and will go down in history
as the most corrupt Santa Claus,

that never existed!

Or you can accept
the requirements of employees.

Maternity license,
pensions for miners,

not to mention the lack
of health care.

And when it comes to these matters,

I can be silent
about his true legacy.

- It's up to you.
- It's not about them, Candy.

- It's about you.
- You are very wrong.

listen to someone who knows
which, one day, will be treated.

Santa Claus has to go outside!

Santa Claus has to go outside!

Me and Santa Claus talked.

Apparently, he's a reasonable man.
And he acceded to our demands!

will implement
maternity leave.

What the hell? And did I miss it?

Brenda "Fat"
you can tell the truth now.

Guys! Brenda is not fat!
She's having twins!

Agreed to give a pension
fair to miners

to be able to reform
with the dignity they deserve.

Lumpy, you can buy now
the cock implants!

No more stuffing coins in your underwear!

Congratulations, Lumpy! And congratulations to all.

Because we made it!

And now,
We will be treated fairly!

So we have to abort the operation,
back to work

and make this
the best Christmas ever!

I know this sounds confusing.

we strike
and then go back to work?

What kind of crazy protest is this?

But Santa Claus
accepted these demands,

therefore I believe
that there will be more changes.

And when we think about it,
when we are children,

there is only one day a year more special
than everyone else.

A day to receive gifts
just for being you.

Even if, on other days,
your mother upset you.

Or your brother is annoying. Or...

Or your father never arrives
from work.

There is a day when the world smiles and says:
"You matter, kid."

And that day is Christmas.

And we are the magic
behind that day!

And for me, that's brutal.

So get back to work

and let's give these kids
the damn gifts!

Feliz Navidad, f*ck!

You're doing well, guys.

Stacks by continent, done!

Is it now that I encourage the reindeer?

- It's tonight, right?
- It's time.

- How do you feel, champion?
- I think I'm fine.

So nervous I'd rather die,
but I'm fine.

Well, right...
Don't worry about it now.

Enjoy the moment.

Yea! Hello Team A!

- They are well?
- No, idiot, we're exhausted.

I've never felt so tired in my life.
And Junior disappeared.

Wait, what? Did Junior disappear?

Where could you be? What madness!

- How... Who would have thought?
- Hello. Is there a problem?

Did Junior disappear?
It's bad! It's really bad!

Don't panic, Devin! Calm!

But this looks bad!
IT IS? It looks really bad.

It's cool, go to the sled.

We have systems in place.

- It's your turn, b*tch.
- What?

Junior is not,
we cannot wait for him.

No one is able to lead anymore
the sled than you, Goldie.

And that applies to everyone!
They trained a lot all year.

Team A has no strength
for this year.

But you have! Go there! It's time!

Yes, ma'am, goat!

- What a relief.
- I could not.

- I could sleep for a year.
- You'll do beautifully.

Thanks. I love you.

It's the light?

Junior leads the sled
with the glow of the nose.

This means a lot to me.

Was it supposed to smell like vibrators?

This is on purpose.
Now go rock, b*tch.

Goldie. My God!
Your dream is coming true!

And we all love each other again!

My girls! My sisters!

The big three! We come back!

this is a beautiful moment
for am


I love you! Can we do this tomorrow?

I have to go!

Tell me what the backs are like
from Dolly Parton's house.

Merry Christmas!

And to all, a great night!
Stay safe!

- Line for Santa Claus.
- This is Santa Claus.

It's Candy. I just wanted to say,
before leaving,

who was right. It's all for the kids.

- You get the point.
- One more thing.

- What?
- Remember, I know everything...

So you're mine, fat.

How fun we had!
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