07x15 - The Curse of the Hex/The Main Drain

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain.

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

Time to refill the tartar sauce.

Empty.

I thought I'd never see the day.

"Use on or before the date printed below."

This can has been here for years.

That's longer than me.

Important krusty krab relic,

what shall we do with ye?

- Spongebob!

Throw that trash out and get back to work.

- Trash?

Oh, but, Mister Krabs, this should be in a museum

for future generations to enjoy.

Future generations?

Welcome to the krusty krab time capsule spectacular.

That's right, in years,

your donated treasures will be unearthed

for future generations to enjoy.

All right, you two got donations covered, right?.

- Sir, yes, sir. - Whatever.

- I'm gonna go ahead and take care of souvenirs.

- The peoples of the future must see this,

so they will know how we toasted bread

in the before time,

so that they can understand the--

- garbage.

That'll be a $ contribution fee.

- And there's your commemorative time capsule keychain.

That'll be...$ . , please.

- But this thing's made of rusty old paperclips and cardboard.

- All right, you drive a hard bargain.

I'll throw in a coupon for one free ice cube

with a purchase of any large cola at the krusty krab.

What do you say?

- Deal.

- What a beautiful lamp, ma'am, so ornate,

so essential for nighttime reading.

- Why, thank you, young man.

- No, thank you... for completely failing

our future generations with your "donation."

I mean, seriously, ma'am,

did you just grab the first thing

you saw this morning?

- Well, actually--

- "hmm, oh, whatever will I donate to the time capsule?

"Golly, this is hard.

"How about...This lamp?

It's perfect."

- Wow, you're good.

How did you know all that?

Are you, like, a psychic?

Tell me what I'm thinking.

- Next.

- Hey, nice pass, Squidward.

- Uh-huh, tell me,

what do you know about this plate?

- Uh, it works good when I eat stuff.

- Right.

This plate is actually not meant to be eaten on.

Now, with your permission,

I'd like to perform a few tests to verify its authenticity.

- Uh, okay.

Interesting.

This is a promising sign.

Yup, you hear that plate-hitting-skull sound?

It's definitely authentic,

and I would price it conservatively

in today's market at $ .

- Really?

- No.

You are the crown Jewel of the time capsule.

- Next.

A four-striped sock.

Incredible.

- Okay, Squidward, I think that's everybody.

- Spongebob, Spongebob, did I make it?

I brought my favorite rock to donate to the time thinger.

- Ooooh.

Are you sure you can part with it, Patrick?

- Sometimes you got to make sacrifices.

- After you, then.

- Thank you, my good man.

- Sorry, Patrick, but there's no way

I'm letting you put your dumb rock

in the time capsule.

I've allowed some seriously ridiculous items today,

but this is where I draw the line.

Do you under--what?

Arrgh.

- All right, rocky, you're going bye-bye now.

- Oh, no, you don't.

- You know, that didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would.

- What didn't? - Mmmph.

- Hey, look, a yo-yo.

- Mmmph.

- Patrick, you're very good at that.

- And thanks so much for all your contributions.

So are you ready to put this thing in the ground?

- Argh, curse that krabs and his cheering crowds.

Big whoop, a stupid time capsule.

Pthhhhbt!

- But before we do,

I'd like to make a contribution of me own:

A copy of the krabby Patty formula.

- There it is, the one element

that could turn this lonesome bucket of steel

into a bustling world-famous eatery.

- Send 'er down.

- He sh**t.

He scores!

- Geeeet off me.

- Hey, Squidward, whatcha doin'?

- Yeah, it looks fun.

- We just got buried alive, you idiots!

- I know, but what are you doing?

- Who's ready to eat some krabby patties,

'cause all that waiting in line's got ya super hungry?

- Hmm, what should we do for the next years?

- I'm just gonna hang here for a while,

maybe get a kelp soda later.

- Patrick, you can't go anywhere.

We're trapped down here until they open that capsule

in years.

- years.

What are we gonna do till then?

- I don't know.

We've got years worth of stuff to play with here.

It's our favorite game.

Pretzel pals!

- Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh.

- Yes, yes, now, where did we leave off?

- I believe my left hand was on red.

- My right foot was on blue.

- Forehead on yellow.

- Left foot on green.

- That's it.

This game is over.

- Hey, Spongebob,

what do you think bikini bottom will be like in the future?

- Welcome to the future, history person.

During your absence,

our society has achieved numerous advances

we're sure you will find to be quite impressive.

Well?

Wooooow,

special drinking fountains for short people.

What will the future think of next?

- Not bad, Spongebob, not bad.

I dream of a town

with the perfect blend of commerce and irrigation,

not to mention the breathtaking views.

- Sounds dreamy, pat.

What do you think the future will be like, Squidward?

- His artwork embodies the soul

that our society has lost, and it is here,

the location of the suffering that inspired that art,

that we place the Squidward tentacles memorial museum.

- Um, Squidward?

Squidward? Squidward?

- Ahhh-haaa.

- Squidward?

- Jackpot!

And now to extract the secret recipe.

Careful...careful.

bikini bottom.

- Oof!

- bikini bottom. - bikini bottom.

.

Ready or not, here we...

- Ha, nice try, Squidward,

but we both already got that hiding spot figured out.

Whipped cream!

This whipped cream tastes awful.

Shaving gel.

I've always wanted a beard.

- Me too.

Do you want one too, squid-beard?

Baaah!

Wha?

Has it been years already?

Yes, I knew I'd still be hot.

- Secret recipe, where are you?

Aha!

- Hello, future.

Yes.

What the?

Where's my museum?

The future is the same as my old pathetic life.

Forget this.

I'm waiting another years.

- Finally, the krabby Patty secret recipe.

Ack.

- Dig me out when my life doesn't stink.

Oh, no.

- Don't hurt yourself, poopsie.

- Quiet, Karen.

Just bring me more prunes.

- Okay, beloved sanctuary, I'll see you after work,

and we'll have a nice relaxing evening.

Just you and me.

That is, of course, if I can survive another day

with grating Bob shrillpants.

Wow, those two are just so amazingly stupid.

- Ahhh-yaaah!

- Whoooooa!

- Ahhhh-ahhh-ooh-ooh-ahh!

- Arrgh.

- Hee-yah!

- Ahhhhh!

- Whoooah!

- Isn't this fun?

- Yeah, I love playing "buddy toss."

- Good morning, Squidward.

See ya at work.

- Grrrrr.

- Owwww!

- Ohh, no.

Okay, I can do this.

Just put them out of my mi--

- owwwwww!

- And a nine-letter word for annoying: Spongebob.

Finally some peace and quiet.

No more Spongebob.

Just me, myself, and home sweet home.

Ahh, nothing like a squid's good old wicker chair

to soothe the pains of a rough day.

Just relax and contemplate some "me time."

Perhaps I could dance to some smooth-jazz records.

Or I could dabble in a little painting.

Yep, I sure am looking forward to it.

- Auuugh!

Auuugh!

Auuugh!

- No, no, no!

- Auuuugh!

- Arrgh.

- Something Squidward this way comes.

- All right, you two,

I am trying to have a relaxing evening.

What in the world are you doing out here?

- Tryin' to have a relaxing evening.

- We're playing flashlight tag.

- You're playing flashlight tag with an electric eel?

- We're using the advanced rules.

- Advanced ru--

that has got to be the most ridiculous thing

I have ever--

- you're it.

- Auuuugh!

- Oh, well played, Patrick.

Whoa.

Augh!

- Shocking.

- How original.

All I really want

is to live in a world

where I can just relax in peace and quiet.

Is that too much to ask?

- Squidward, we're playing tag,

not hide-and-seek, ya silly.

- But we like hide-and-go-seek too if you want to play that.

- All I really want is to live in a world

where I can just relax... in peace.

- Patrick, Squidward is really, really sad.

- You're right.

Let's go poke someone else.

- How about instead,

we do something extra special for him.

Then he won't be sad anymore.

- Oh, I get it.

It'll be like the time I was feeling impressed,

and you let me eat all Gary's--

uh, I mean, feed Gary for a week.

- Patrick, this has to be extra special,

and we should probably vow to do it.

- Vow?

- Yeah, vow.

- Well, how about instead of vowing,

we just do it?

- I like it.

Good night...Lamp.

I guess "having a relaxing evening"

meant "staying up all night and playing with power tools."

Well, it's not that late.

Even morons have to sleep sometime.

I can't take it anymore!

When I get those two, I am gonna...

All right, you two, I...

It--it--it's beautiful.

It's too good to be true.

It's a mirage.

I knew it.

Oh, I guess this is it: Insanity.

Next stop: A padded room at the cephalopod home.

Just go with it, squiddy.

Empty?

A refill, my good man.

What the?

Patrick, what are you doing here?

It's delicious.

What is it?

- A smoothie.

- Remember, squiddy, just go with it.

- Hey, fellas, look, it's Squidward.

- Hey, buddy, where you been?

- Hit it, boys.

- Ahhh, this is the life.

- It's beautiful.

- I've never been this happy in my life.

- Bah-ha-ha-ha, la-la-la-la.

- My world.

- You were right, Spongebob.

We should've used glue instead of earwax.

- Yeah, especially considering neither of us have ears.

- You--you destroyed

my beautiful world.

- Sorry we couldn't make it last forever, Squidward.

- Yeah, we really tried to make it last.

- Yeah...make it last.

I know how to make it last.

- Ohhhhh!

- Auuuuugh!

- Ohhhh!

- Auuuugh!