11x11 - Chatterbox Gary/Don't Feed the Clowns

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

- Ooh, take a look at this, Gare Bear.

Found a slime ball in your shoe?

Even purebred snails can fall victim

to the scourge of slime balls.

You really got some air on that one.

- Meow.

- I know that meow.

That says "I'm hungry."

Lucky for you, I speak fluent snail.

- Meow!

- What, you're not hungry?

- Meow-meow!

- Oh, of course!

You wanna go for a walk?

Gary, you really need to work on your pronunciation.

Okay, no walkies.

- Oh, if only you could talk like a person.

Ooh!

"The chatterbox translation collar?

Know what your best friend is saying!"

A snail translator!

That's a great idea, Gary.

- Chatterbox order line.

- Hello, yes, could you please send me

one chatterbox snail collar?

- Do you want regular, express,

or our fastest delivery option, time warp?

- Ooh, time warp, please!

- Very well, your package was delivered last Thursday.

- Oh, I wonder where this came from.

Oh, here we go.

Okay, Gary, speak to me.

Check, check.

One, two.

Ah, that's more like it.

Hello, there, Papa Bob.

- Papa Bob.

Oh! Oh, Gary,

now you can express your innermost thoughts

in language I can understand.

I have so many questions.

- Lay 'em on me, Papa Bob.

- What do you dream about?

- Mostly I dream I'm flying above it all...

- Aww, that's sweet.

- While I breathe fiery destruction

upon my enemies.

Hey, if you're gonna dream,

dream big, right?

Let's move on

to question two, shall we?

What are your long-term goals?

- To finish restoring my hotrod.

- Yeah, you need to get on that.

But what I really want to know is,

how do I look in these pants?

- They really bring out

the sharp corners of your buttocks.

- Oh, Gary, you flatterer.

Come on, Gare, let's show Patrick your new voice.

Oh, Patrick, I have got a surprise for you!

Say hello to Gary.

- Hello, Gary.

- Hello, stinky man. - Hmm?

Ooh, you're right, Gary, I am ripe!

Ah, much better.

- Delightfully disgusting.

- Thank you, my good man.

- Thanks for the old tooth scrubbing!

Bye! - Sandy!

Gary has a new translating collar.

- Hello, hairy astronaut lady.

- How do you do, little fella?

- You know, same shell, different day.

- Isn't it amazing?

- Aww, that ain't nothing.

I invented a nut translator ages ago.

- The pistachios are all out to get me.

You can't trust 'em.

They're working for the peanut mafia!

Walnuts are extra nutty.

- Om.

- In order to achieve complete brainfulness,

one must clear one's mind of all distractions.

Distractions are only in your mind.

- You are the center of the universe.

- Center of the universe.

- Will you answer the door already?

- I think your doorbell's broken, Squidward.

- What do you want?

- I thought you might want to chat with your neighbor.

- Why would I want to talk to you?

- Oh, not to me. To Gary.

- Oh, good grief. Spongebob, Gary can't talk.

He's a snail!

- Greetings and salutations, grouchy man.

- Wha-ha?

- I bought Gary the new pet translator collar.

- Why would you want to talk to him?

- Who wouldn't want to talk to their pet?

- I was talking to Gary.

Those walls!

That carpet.

- Turns out Gary has a very sophisticated

sense of design.

- Really?

Well, maybe I'll give him the guided tour.

- Hey, wait up!

- And up here, you'll find my true masterworks,

Hidden away from the eyes of the undeserving public.

- Ah, the naive cephalopod style.

Not very sophisticated.

See here.

Tacky.

- Hold on now!

- Don't worry, Squidward, I'm taking notes for you.

- Feel the plainfulness flow through you.

- You watch this nonsense?

- What? What's wrong with it?

- Nothing, I'm sure.

Apparently, no brain required.

Come, Papa Bob.

Let's get out of here

before this bad taste rubs off on us.

- Oh, gee, do you have to?

- Don't be sad, Squidward, we'll be back soon.

- Until next time,

remember to free yourself

from all distraction.

- Oh, I will.

Night, Gare Bear.

- Good night, Papa Bob.

- Good night.

- Ah, let's see if Spongebob

still wants you to talk after tonight.

Stupid rake!

Oh, Papa Bob.

No, no, no.

Oh, Papa Bob.

- I'm thirsty.

At this hour?

All right, I'll get you some water.

- Here you go, buddy,

one water.

- I want to go to the park.

Oh, sure. No problem, Gary.

Well, that was fun.

- My bed is too lumpy.

- All right, then.

Here, Gary, take my bed, hmm?

- Papa Bob, it's hot in here.

- Still too stuffy.

- Still too...

How's that, Gary?

- The view is so much nicer a block away.

- Okay, okay.

This should get things rolling.

- Keep going.

Just a little more.

Perfect.

You're right, Gary.

The view is nicer over here.

Gary? Gary!

Whoa!

Oh-whoa-oh! Oh, god! Oh, god!

Aww, that was close, huh, Gary?

Oops.

- Aww, now where are we gonna sleep?

You could always live

in a hole, like that idiot sea star.

- Meow?

- My house!

Oh, Squidward, we're neighbors again.

Get off of...

- Uh, I didn't catch that, Squidward, what'd you say?

- I said, "Get off of"...

- Hey!

Hey!

Come back with my worm!

- Aww, looks like Squidward

wants a pet of his own to talk to.

Meow.

I heart the circus!

- Children of all ages!

Get ready to wet your baggy pants laughing!

Send in the clowns!

He-yah!

Our candy-corn-fed clowns

once roamed the slapstick plains

where wild clowns run free!

He-yah!

He-yah!

He-yah!

He-yah!

He-yah!

Look, there's those!

Are you hungry, little clown?

He-yah!

Don't feed the clowns!

- Why not? - Huh?

Spongebob, are you mad?

Clowns are dangerous animals.

Why, at any moment, one of those things

could get loose and bite our feet off!

- Oh, Patrick, that little clown wouldn't do that.

He was friendly.

I wanna go backstage and see the clowns, Patrick.

- I told you, Spongebob, our feet are in danger!

- I'll protect you.

Ooh.

clowns: Huh?

- Poor little guy.

- Hey, he didn't get any food.

- Hey, psst!

- Don't feed the clowns!

My feet!

- Pack it up, everyone.

He-yah!

- I don't care what that mean old ringmaster says.

That clown is hungry, and I'm gonna feed him.

Hey, where'd the circus go?

Now I'll never find that little clown.

There you are.

- Hey, little clown.

The circus left without you!

Quick, we gotta get you back to your clown friends.

Oh, you don't want to go back to the circus?

- You don't want to be a circus clown?

- You know, little clown, I don't blame you.

You shouldn't stay in a place where they

push you around all the time.

Looks like I'll have to help you find a new job.

But what else can you do?

- Oh, you want to work there?

- This job should be a snap, little clown.

Watch me.

- Oh-ho-ho, hotdog!

Look at that.

Looks like fun!

- Okay, you're on.

My wieners!

- Oh, is this your cart?

Sorry.

I think you'll get a job a lot quicker

if we tone down the whole clown thing a smidge.

Don't worry. When I get through with you,

your own ringmaster won't recognize you.

- "Businessmen wanted."

Go get 'em, little clown.

Oh, I mean, Mr. little clown.

- Here's your stool. Here's your stamper.

Now get to work.

- Aww.

Who hired this clown?

- Um, you did, sir.

Fired!

What happened, little clown?

Didn't you like that job?

Ooh!

Maybe a career in firefighting.

- Have a nice fire!

I'll just make sure he gets there safely.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Not Mrs. Puff's Boating School!

- Save me! Save me!

I'm too young to broil!

You're fired!

- This is it, little clown.

The last job available in Bikini Bottom.

- If you can just stop the clowning for two minutes,

you'll have a job.

Please!

Sorry, little clown. It's been a long day.

Good luck.

Aha!

Now get in there, eyes,

and stay close to that clown.

- Your job is to pack up the pies!

- No! No, little clown! No!

No!

- Hot cobbler pie?

- Lemon pie!

- Honey pie?

- Eye pie!

You...

Are...

- Fired?

Au revoir!

I didn't order a pie.

- Oh, little clown, I'm so sorry.

I thought you needed a day job, but you're a clown.

And a clown needs to run free.

- Aww.

- Aww.