10x15 - My Body Is a Cage: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

(Loud music blasts)

Drew:
hey, what're you doing?

Adam:
it's too early
for all those decibels.

Drew:
no, it gets me pumped
for football.

Adam:
and what am I supposed to do
for two hours

Until class starts?

Audra:
well, why don't you
watch drew's practice?

And rot of boredom?

I rather be playing -
if I were allowed.

You said you'd talk
to simpson

About transferring me
to regular gym.

Can you do that,
like, today?

Like, no, I can't

'Cause you're a new student
at the school

And I think you should just
fly under the radar for now,

Okay?
In high school,
mom?

No such thing.

Besides,
being in "recreation class"

Shines its own special
spotlight.

Someone could find out,
adam.

And if they do,
they could really hurt you.

I have to ballroom dance
today.

If I'm getting hurt
anywhere,

It's busting a "dancing
with the stars" manoeuvre,

Not in regular 'ol gym.

Drew: adam's got a point, mom.
Audra: yeah.

Zero rhythm.

See?
Yes, I see.
Off you go! Bye!

Oh wait-wait-wait.
Wait, wait, wait.

Uh, grandma's coming in
from windsor on wednesday.

And?

And... I thought
it would be nice

If gracie could join us
for dinner.

Godspeed.

I told you,
gracie's gone.

Will you please
just consider it?

Considering...
Considering...

No.
(Exasperated sigh)

Sorry, I'm not playing
dress up for anyone.

(Ignition turns,
engine rumbles)

Have a great day,
honey.

♪♪♪

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ I know I can make it through ♪

♪ If I hold out ♪

♪ I know I can make it through ♪

♪ Ooh-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooh ♪

♪ Be the best ♪

♪ The best that I can be ♪

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ I know I can make it ♪

♪ I can make it ♪

♪ I can make it through ♪
(whatever! Woo-ooh!)

♪ Whatever it takes ♪
(whatever!)

♪ I know I can make it through ♪

Eli:
how's the man in the mirror?

You askin' him to change
his ways?

What?

Michael jackson?

Forget it.

So what's exciting in the world
of recreation today?

Darts?

Ballroom dancing.

Oh boy.

Shouldn't be that bad.

I get to dance
with cute girls.

No. Oh boy.

Edited your story.

I don't approve of this
"clara edwin" character.

She's an ingenue!

She's a floozy.
Change it.

(School bell rings)

You two give me
the runs.

I think
it's entertaining.

Have fun dancing
with cute...

Wait, are there cute girls
in remedial gym?

Bianca.

'Kay, you gotta admit
she's hot.

Sure. In a scary-suv-
hit-and-run-

Club-district kinda way.

I don't know.
There's something there.

Well, look at you
all machismo.

Mom! I'm so gonna be late.

Pam:
(sighs)

Hey, sweetheart,
I can't drive you.

Muah.
I'm not feeling well.

Well, you don't look sick.

I think it's just a cold.

What about dad?

He's already at work.

Well, can't you drive me?
I mean, you're not dying.

Pam:
anya, it's a bus day.

Deal with it.

Fine.

I hate the smelly bus!

I'm gonna be late,
so you have to call the office.

Pam:
all right.

(School bus rumbles)

(School bell rings)

Hey.

Menard:
I'm mr. Menard

And I'll be covering
the ballroom unit.

So bear with me as I figure out
which attendance list to use.

Ballroom dancing.

Better or worse
than ping-pong?

I don't care.

Mr. Menard:
okay. Abby?

Oliver?

Bianca?

John-carlo?

Why are you in remedial gym,
anyway?

You show up, you pass.
You?

Gracie?

Gracie torres?

Wait, aren't you torres?

I meant adam.
Adam torres.

Uh, sorry about that.

Wrong list.

(Bell rings)

Good morning.
Check your network folders

For your linnux assignment
evaluations.

(Sighs)

Yo, wes.
What did you get?

My dad says I shouldn't
share my grades.

Oh, shut up and tell me
what you got.

How could I suck
at media immersion?

Hmm. Well, maybe you should
ask miss oh for some...

(Deepens voice)
private tutoring.

(Exhales, reluctant)

Miss? Hey.
Sup?

I'd prefer
if you called me "miss oh."

Don't "hey" or "sup" me.

I'm not your bud.
Try again.

(Clears throat)
excuse me, miss oh?

I just don't agree with the mark
that you gave me.

What mark do you think
you deserve?

I don't know, like an ,
or something?

(Class snickers)

If I were you,

I'd apply myself
to the blog assignment

Due this week.

(Whispering)
liquid nitrogen.

Wow!

Uncover the mysteries
of an ancient lost city.

And remember,
extra marks for creativity -

So blow me away!

Mmm.
Tardy, ms. Mcpherson!

I've already assigned
the groups...

So, why don't you join sav
and holly j on this one,

Okay?

Sure!

Ex-boyfriend,
ex-best friend.

Could this day
get any worse?

At least you're not stuck
with heather poulette.

She smells like salami.

So, should we tell her
together?

And make working
on this project

With your ex-girlfriend

A total nightmare?

Poker face!

Sav:
hey, anya.

So, uh...

What're we doing?

Well, I was thinking
we could do

A miniature of pompeii.

And we can have
mount vesuvius erupt

And destroy it.

Can't we just do
a power point?

Uh, no.

This project is worth
% percent of our grade

And I need full marks,
so...

First meeting today
at lunch?

Ooh, ah, I can't.

My mom's feeling
under the weather

And I have to bring
her soup.

It's off to a great start.

(Tango music plays)

Menard:
okay, pay attention.

Now that we've gone over
the basic concepts,

Pick your partners!

Bianca.

What?

I choose you
as my partner.

What are you,
in grade seven?

I don't see anyone else
stepping up.

Fine. Just watch your paws,
casanova.

Ladies and gentlemen,
(tango music plays)

Face each other,

Shoulders parallel,

Torso upright.

Gentlemen,
reach the lady's back

With your right hand just below
the shoulder blades.

Ladies,

Left arm rests gently
just over the man's shoulders.

Remaining hands join.

Hands at eye level.

Beautiful.

Get to know your partners'
bodies.

It's tango!

Be sensual.

(Counts in time to music)
five, six, seven, eight!

Slow, slow,

Quick, quick, slow.

Slow, slow,

Quick, quick, slow.

Dave:
hey, mr. P!

Mr. Turner.

Hey, I watched that
really old film

You were talking about
last week -

The godfather.

Oh yeah?

Hey, uh...

I'm making an offer
you can't refuse, unh?

Hey, I graded your paper
on the prohibition.

Very nice job.

Good work!

You're teacher's pet!

Me? No, no.

P and i,
we just get along.

You know,
I make him laugh.

We got a lot in common,
you know.

Too bad you and ms. Oh

Don't have anything
in common.

Anya:
soup delivery!

Don't come down naked,
leia's with me.

Nothing I haven't
seen before.

Anya:
mom! Time to kick that cold.

And her car is not
in the garage.

Try her cell?

(Phone beeps)

What's that?

My mom's wedding ring.

I don't think I've ever
seen her without it.

Hmm.

Oh my god!

Pam: (message recording)
please leave a message
at the... (Hangs up)

I've read about this
in sizzle teen magazine.

What are you talking about?

All the signs are there -

Faking sick,
disappearing,

Ditching her wedding ring.

Anya,
it's totally obvious.

Your mom's having
an affair.

Bianca:
we kicked some serious ass
in there.

By far the best pair.

And you didn't think
I could lead...

I'll admit,
you did pretty good.

We should keep it up,

Practice sometime.

You'd like that,
wouldn't you?

Uh...

I uh...

Gotta go.

(Case clatters)

Sorry.

Why do you have tampons?

Fitz:
hey, adam.
Drop something?

Clare, pick up your stuff!
That's nasty.

Silly me!

Always dropping
my feminine hygiene products.

Gross.

♪♪♪

♪ Traded in my tennis shoes ♪

♪ For steel-toed rubber boots ♪

♪ I got my own uniform to wear ♪

♪ They've given me
a plastic hat ♪

♪ Ear plugs
and a funny net for my hair ♪

(Knock at the door)

Drew:
come on, let me in,
I need to do my hair!

Almost done!

Drew:
you said that
like minutes ago!

It took you less time
to get ready

When you were a girl.

I was never a girl,
idiot.

Got you to open the door
though, didn't i?

So, do you think clare
told anyone?

Maybe eli.

Audra:
guys, your breakfast
is getting cold!

Drew:
okay, we're coming!

Audra:
is she still in the bathroom?

Really, mom?
Pronoun problems, still?

Audra:
sorry, adam!
Let's go!

I swear she does that
on purpose.

Nah, she just forgets.

But I bet she's hoping
you'll switch back to girl mode

For grandma tomorrow.

Your sons will be down
in a second!

♪ Watch out now,
here I come ♪

♪ My god what have I done? ♪

♪ The temporary blues
are gonna bring me down ♪

So where were you
yesterday?

What do you mean?

Well, I came home at lunch
to bring you soup

And you weren't here.

Aww. That's so nice of you,
sweetheart.

Uh, I just stepped out
for a bit.

So you're all better now?

Mm-hmm.

So one minute you're sick

And the next you're just
magically better?

Oh, interrogation!

(In a german accent)
vhere's da heat lamp?

It's not funny!

Anya!
You're cheating on dad!

What?!
Don't deny it, mom.

You went missing,
I found your rings...

All the signs are there.

Leia read about it
in sizzle teen!

Okay, um...

I took off my wedding ring
because I was getting an mri.

An mri?
Mm-hm.

Um, are you okay?

Yeah. I've been tired

And your father and I
just wanted to make sure

Everything was all right.

(Exhales) well,
you should have told me.

I didn't wanna worry you.

I can handle it!

No more secrets, okay?

Okay!
Okay!

Okay.

I can't believe
you thought I was cheating!

Geeze louise!

Well...
Well?!

(Laughs)

Eli:
are you sure
they were tampons?

What could he need them for?

A nose bleed?

Hey.

Thanks for covering,
clare;

That wasn't cool of me.

So...

What was I covering
exactly?

You don't have to explain;
it's not our business.

Adam:
it's, it's okay.
I wanna tell you.

Okay, so...

I'm a guy.
Like, a hundred percent dude.

But I was born
in a girl's body.

I'm an ftm.
Female to male transgender.

Questions?

Anything.
Go ahead.

Does that mean
you're gay?

No. I like girls.

And since I'm a guy
between the ears,

That makes me straight.

At least I think so.

Cool.

How long have you known?

Since I was ? ?

I hated wearing dresses
and having long hair.

Well, how do you know
you're not a tomboy,

Or a lesbian?

I just know.

Well, are the only ones
who know?

Other than your family,
of course.

Simpson knows,

And he sent letters informing
every teacher...

Except for that
stupid ballroom guy

Who called out
my girl's name -

The worst.

Hold the phone.

Does this mean I can't
let one rip in front of you?

Eli, I'd be insulted
if you didn't.

You guys are foul!

You're just jealous.

Fine. (Laughing)
whatever.

Okay.

Miss oh has facerange!

Let's hope her privacy settings
are low.

Oh, there.

Look.
It says "in a relationship."

That guy's in for a lifetime
of (mimics whip cracking)!

And sexy times.

Dave:
wes, this isn't helping.

I need something I can use
to relate to her.

There.

Click!
Don't back seat mouse me!

Wesley:
I don't think we should
be on this.

That's it.

I'll do my blog on motorcycles!

I'll charm her into giving me
a good grade.

Dave, be sure you also
follow the guidelines.

Pfft!
Guidelines.

Nah, she'll be too impressed
to care.

You'll see.

Is there a compartment in there
dedicated to hair mousse?

(Laughs)

So, ah, when are we practicing
our moves?

Are you flirting?

What if I was?

Bro,
you're not my type.

Why? 'Cause I avoid
spray tanning?

(Half laughs)
funny.

I think I could be
your type.

Don't look at me
with those eyes!

Whoa!
What's going on there?

(Nervous laugh)
nothing!

You're too skinny
to have man boobs.

Stop!

What the hell?
Are you a girl?

I've seen you freaks
on oprah.

Start your engines and log on
to dave's-motorcycle-planet-

Dot-host-blog-world-dot-com.

Welcome to your very own
motorcycle design highway.

Each week, I'll post a custom
upgrade for your bike,

Like this awesome seat tail.

Ms. Oh:
have you linked
to any articles?

What about a public service
entry?

I included a link
to a photo page?

(Laughs quietly)

Check out
these awesome pictures!

(Class snickers and murmurs)

Where did you get those?

Facerange. They were up there
for us to see.

I thought you would
find it funny.

You've barely met
any of the requirements.

I'm gonna have to give you
an f.

Take your ball.

Anya:
look at my cute little
lava victim!

Awww! It's almost a shame
to annihilate him.

It's a good thing
you joined us.

'Cause pompeii
was not built in a day,

Or by two people.

(Cell phone rings)

Hey, mom.

Well,
can you tell me now?

Yeah, okay,
I'll be right there.

Um, do you guys mind
if I finish working on this

At home?

Not at all.

Is everything all right?

Uh... Yeah.

Be, uh... Be good
while I'm gone, you two.

Fitz:
did you miss the sign
on the door?

No, I saw it.
Thanks.

It means guys,

And, uh,
we heard something from b.

Adam:
look, I just wanna use
the bathroom.

Fitz:
by all means,
wizz -

In the urinal -
standing up.

What're you waiting for?

Owen:
yeah, come on, whip it out.
We won't look.

Go to hell!

No way!

You're actually a chick?

Owen:
(laughs) oh...

You are in the wrong place
then.

Adam:
stop! Let go!
(Struggling grunts)

(Resounding thud)

Pam and harold:
(laughing) oh...

Pam:
look at that!

I rushed home.
What's going on?

Pam:
look at this email
that auntie janet sent us.

Look at him!

Look how cute he is!
Big!

Is this
what I rushed home for?

Um...

(Clears throat)
no.

Well...

We heard back from the doctor
and uh...

Well, your mom has
a follow-up appointment.

Well, that's not bad,
is it?

Well, they said no news
is good news.

Um... And this is news.

Mm-hmm.

Bianca?!
You hit on bianca?!

Are you trying
to get yourself k*lled?

It's not my fault her friends
are ignoramuses.

What did mom say about
staying under the radar?

Ahh!

What did they do to you?

It's nothing.

This isn't your battle!
I'll go to the lgbt club.

Why do you think
I transferred to degrassi?

If anyone hurts
my sister, I'll...

Sorry.
You know what I mean.

I'm gonna make sure
they don't touch you again.

Adam:
what're you gonna do?

Andrew!

Adam:
I don't want you to do this.
Stop!

Hey! I heard you were messing
with my brother.

Last time we checked,
you had a sister.

Shut up!
You don't know anything.

Defensive.
You hiding a secret, too?

Adam:
come on, let's just go.

Run along, ladies.
Freak show's waiting.

(Forceful grunt)

Adam:
no, let's just go.

Don't! Stop!

Fitz:
shouldn't have done that.

Adam:
no!

Let go!

Stop!

(Struggling grunt)
stop!

(Fence rattles,
fitz and drew grunt)

No!

Ungh!

Ungh!

You okay?