02x26 - The Aftermath: IV

[bunniefuu]

what me I'm supposed to read that okay

last time on Total Drama Action

our timbers got seriously shiver as Beth

and Duncan suffered through the final

pirate movie challenge whoa dudes looks

like that was a blast

they followed that up with a easy run

through every crazy challenge from the

whole entire season and even though

Duncan had a massive lead Beth caught up

fast earning bonus time as the girl who

knows everything about everybody our

heroes were running neck-and-neck until

a final act of kindness led to a time

one time two competitors who's gonna win

it find out right here and right now on

total drama

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mommy daddy we're fine

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I wanted to be in everything

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what do we do now

can somebody please tell me there's a

plan here know what since we're all here

together one last time Jeff and I cut

together some sweet footage of everybody

from the whole season what don't get

your shorts in a nod there's plenty of

time to pick where role cliff

[Music]

all right Sunset Beach here we come

that was one heck of a long season if I

do say so myself I've earned this bake

a-bake time hey aren't you Chris McClain

busted you know I try to keep my ideas

secret when I travel but looks like

these are hard to hide Chris can I have

your autograph nope but you can let us

bud to the front of the line now you you

can have my autograph fine looking at it

[Music]

why don't you come and join us in the

winner's yep you think we could at least

get another seat since Chris took off on

vaycay we prepared some

never-before-seen clips we think this

will help our audience see the real

Chris McLean we're gonna play them later

in the show for y'all but here's a

little preview to get you interested

[Music]

Chris shush I'm scoring us an upgrade

you really want to see this man

this is the last time we're gonna see

each other guys getting a bit choked up

here well we've had an awesome time

together I'm gonna miss you guys

Oh we'll miss you too girl now pick a

winner so we can all go home

not before we play our most painful ever

season finale all-star version of

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[Applause]

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driving what are you doing well Chris

went a lot of cars are stuck on the same

road it's called trust we have to get

there now those kids are destroying my

show and you're destroying my vacation

so maybe we're even dude I want a third

season if they mess this up we can get

cancelled don't you understand what do

you want me to do against the win button

inside the car

I bet Ryan Seacrest is's driver would be

able to fly the car it's a bird it's a

plane it's incredibly painful

oh just end this just give one of us

that colossal stack of cash give all the

money to me ah no it was worth a try

stop I've got a plan I've devised a

completely unbiased way to find a winner

a quiz show that will determine who gets

the million what's he doing

as a founding member of inventive

Steve's junior inventors gizmo League

I've been behind many an ingenious

contraption in my life to emerge

victorious Duncan and Beth will have to

contort their bods to fit through these

specially shaped holes it's brilliant

really turn left here now go right left

again now go straight ahead

love the shortcut you're going to get a

new job as a GPS

prepare to contort

this is the stupidest thing I've ever

been a part of and I've been on this

show for two seasons I never thought I'd

miss Chris but it is a million bucks

[Applause]

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it's neck-and-neck Jeff speaking of

which one a neck sure

too bad fast this could be it folks

is Duncan our million-dollar winner

make a decision I'm bored and you know

what happens when I'm bored looks like

it's time for some embarrassing

never-before-seen footage of Chris

McLean once you've seen this side of

Chris

he'll never be the same again did the

net worth listen when I told them that

putting a couple of amateurs in charge

would be televised poison no why would

they but now that I'm in charge and the

real show can begin what we're gonna do

here is give each EX contestant a chance

to ask a question of Duncan and back

because you will be deciding who to give

the million dinero's to but first let's

watch each of them at their very worst

Beth I gotta say you weren't the most

athletic team member on Total Drama

Action

okay you were a total clot

[Music]

Jim at least I tried hard and then

there's Duncan let's take a look at some

heartwarming footage of mr. nice guy

we don't need to ask a question we know

these guys do

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oh man wha

why'd you show that cooker Graham sent

by the girls of the total drama fan club

for all the girls to say yes back baby

and we'll be right back with more total

drama each contestant will have a chance

to ask Beth and Duncan a question one

that helps them decide who will land

that cool mill total drama peanut

galleries it's up to you to choose

between these two sorry finalists Geoff

Bridget you like to start us off

Bridgette and Geoff

moving right along Frank as part of

Total Drama actions movie theme I want

to know about your character okay like

let's say your boyfriend was being super

nice to you and nothing more and you for

some reason found that odd and talked to

his teammates about voting him out and

then they did that I don't think I did

anyone in the competition my mom always

said that you don't wash your vegetables

and toilet water what unless they're

really really hot vegetables oh thanks

for that bit of nonsense bath Duncan

anything equally ferret brain to add all

I know is that you'd never catch me

doing what some chick told me to in the

first place all right let's see if we

can raise the level of this show with

Izzy okay so like I just rented a DVD

reissue the 1982 breakout breakdance hit

movie break break break already

or was it break the breakneck breakdown

no wait I think it was breaking records

do the Boogaloo Dance Crew The Criterion

Edition or something okay either way I

love the golden oldies they don't make

movies like that anymore

so I need a break off to decide my

personal winner hit it DJ what it am i

hitting you DJ Jazzy chef

[Music]

[Applause]

you know we really should do more

dancing on this show but for now let's

give it over to good I wanna know how

each of you plans to use the money you

win to help save the environment when

you're not busy thinking of yourselves

well as it turns out Brady signed up for

a job as a tree planter in Northern

Ontario this summer and here we go again

just let the little girl believe and

he's going to need some help recruiting

other planters so I'll help launch a

marketing campaign to make sure that the

whole province is full of trees by the

time we roll really wow I'm impressed

I've been thinking a lot about how cool

those Greenpeace guys are they hijack

ships and get arrested like all the time

I'm gonna donate some of my winnings to

them that's awesome Duncan thank you my

vote has now been determined

DJ maybe you can make a little sense huh

no jazzy the other DJ you are riding a

bicycle quickly down a path and there's

a fork in the road on one side of

beautiful daisies on the other

dandelions you're gonna have to roll

over one of them to get where you go

which path would you choose dandelions

their weeds who cares

[Applause]

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Oh entertain me I recently decided to

start eating healthy yeah right

oh no no it's true after I cleaned out

the whole cheese hello ever'one

ill-fated weekend a light bulb went off

in my belly that's one noisy lightbulb

excuse me

roughage now I want everyone else to eat

healthy too I'm gonna get this whole

wide world on a health kick Oh Duncan

I'd like to have an eating contest

finally a decent idea torturous

disgusting chef we provided tons of

delicious kale tofu flaxseed quinoa

rolls plain yogurt I could have split

the million with you and avoided all

this just trying to do my part for a

healthier happier community eat right

stay right

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what the hell thing begin

hmm looks like they both barely touched

their seaweed I'll have to factor that

into my pick okay and now for the next

Inquisitor Heather I'm sure she'll have

something sensible to bring to the table

please I already know which of you I'm

voting for needless to say I should be

sitting in that chair there's really not

a lot of room left I mean instead of you

idiot I was the one with all the

strategic smarts the will to win the

brains and the courage if it wasn't for

a lot of bad luck and completely

incompetent team members either of you

in the real world oh sure why not

leshawna I know how I'd spend the money

if I won but I want to know how you'd

spend it oh I know

first I'd take my boyfriend out to a

really nice dinner to celebrate

probably Thai food then I buy this cute

new fuchsia sparkly the time that I've

had my eye on for a while then I'd get

some cute new hair bottles that have had

my eye on for a while then I buy a cute

stuffed cockatoo that I've had my eye on

for a while then I'd go on a tropical

cruise in France with my mom and Lyndsey

I'd buy a schoolhouse for

underprivileged children you don't use a

little editing but it's gonna be a tough

one to be Duncan to school houses for

underprivileged children I'm not bound

by this right Justin

make it quick would you the pina coladas

are calling now that the show has

d*sfigured my face I want to know if I

can still be a leading man or will I

only be allowed to do character actor

roles playing criminals villains and and

the institutionally insane it's just a

trick question I could totally see you

kissing girls on the big screen you

still got it Justin yeah if you're still

like a gorgeous movie star type guy

k*lling me Lindsay because I like her

and tropical cruises are nice too thank

you it has to be a question do I like

baths and do I think cruises are nice

yes oh my gosh

you both know me so well how am I gonna

decide Harold I will require you both to

do your best drawing of a made-up animal

go hmm a hairy corn with wings

very good Beth what's this it's half

samurai sword half stealth bomber

interesting not exactly an animal but

interesting you have surprised and

intrigued me sir and finally mercifully

is the end oh sorry

looks like we're at a time

all right Total Drama Action players

you'll be voting right here in these

special voting booth the budgets gone

gotta work with what you got

you're not seeing it I refuse to be

predictable I really really really hate

to have to choose but I had to vote for

Beth she wins for being so gentle and

there's not enough gentle millionaires

out there I vote for Duncan for being

such a healthy eater and because he

still feels like one of the guys hey I

think I maybe had one fiber-rich scoop

too many and mycelium blendy this

morning

[Laughter]

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[Laughter]

once again this show cheats out on

production how much can a decent pen

cost

oh come on a million dollars will be

awarded right now whose will it be I

have the answer right here contained

within this urn it still smells like

dill and now the boat's what the Dunkin

bet that's one vote for Duncan one vote

for that one more vote for Duncan

another one for Duncan that's three

votes for Duncan and one vote for Beth

that's another vote for Beth that's

three votes for Duncan two votes for

Beth

hurry it up I will not let you spoil the

nail-biting tension I am deliberately

weaving here that's three votes for Beth

one vote for expl*sive Oh boom fine the

season two Total Drama winner

not so bad sister who's that I'd share

anything with you every King needs a

cool King huh that doesn't sound so

terrible not only is he real he's really

handsome is it not bad enough that this

show made me into a goblin now I got his

gorgeous 'ti making me come off as even

more hideous great was I supposed to

bring up fries

[Applause]

and so it ends thanks from me your

beloved in almost crisp acclaim and from

our loser Beth it's been a great season

of cuddle

[Applause]

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