Chris:
Last time,
On "total drama all-stars":
The island was bathed
In a rare blue harvest moon
That turns normally sweet
Creatures into pure evil!
Totally unsafe to be out
After dark in that.
So, I made it
A night challenge.
(Chuckles)
As they raced,
Heather pretended to be
Affected by the moon,
While cam and his broken specs
Got ditched by mike!
Or was it mike?
In the end,
The villains won again,
And cameron volunteered
To be the homebound hero
For reasons unknown.
(Coughs) sierra. (Coughs)
But in a final twist,
Cameron became
The newest member
Of the villainous vultures!
But that was then
And this is now,
And we can't stop it
So we gotta top it,
Right here on
Total... Drama... All-stars!
♪♪
♪ I wanna be,
I wanna be
♪ I wanna be famous
♪ I wanna be,
I wanna be
♪ I wanna be famous
(Whistling chorus)
(Camera snaps)
Courtney:
Don't bother.
You won't be around long enough
For it to matter.
(Groans)
With cameron on our team,
The "newbie" target's
Off my back!
Next time we lose,
Four-eyes goes home.
Unless he can't fix
His glasses,
Then he'll be two-eyes.
Still. He's out!
Gwen:
Here, maybe a twist-tie
Would help?
It worked, thanks!
Gwen:
The villain team isn't entirely
Made up of evil people.
You look nerdier
Than before.
I know,
It sounds impossible,
But here you are doing it,
So...
Alejandro:
Heather, please!
I think that he pulls off
A "nerdy look"
With a generous measure
Of dignified flair!
Gwen:
It's mostly made up
Of evil people.
Heather:
Great! They've already bonded!
I hate to say it,
But maybe we should form
A temporary alliance
To avoid being voted off.
Allies?
Agreed. Muah!
Ugh! Gross!
She trusts me.
Ha!
Soon I will have my revenge
For the dishonor
She brought upon
My family name!
Once this gorgeous face is rid
Of that gorgeous face,
I will win it all!
He thinks I trust him.
Ha!
That's his one way ticket
To flushtown!
Hmm...
Apple?
Don't mind if I do.
Glad you're starting
To trust people.
A few days ago,
There's no way
You would've taken that
From me.
I'm surrounded by
So much heroic kindness.
Agh! I think it's starting
To rub off!
(Gasps)
Is that why gwen dumped me?
Whatever!
I'm still bad, just watch!
Aw, come on!
Oh dear, what happened
To duncan's Kn*fe?
(Snoring)
(Clanking)
Tough break.
(Evil snicker)
Sierra:
(Crying)
Zoey:
Sierra, are you okay?
Sierra:
(Sobbing)
Oh, zoey,
I miss cody-cam!
D-do you mean cameron?
That's what I said!
Uh, no, you didn't.
Well, your ears are wrong
And, and so is your face!
(Wailing)
Zoey:
Wait! I didn't mean it!
Agghhh!
Sorry!
So... You okay?
Yeah. Yes. Fine, totally.
Mike:
Cool! Apple?
Zoey:
Aggghhh!
Oh, I can't believe it!
I'm scared of mike
After what he did to cam.
But he's not himself.
The mike I love
Is still in there...
Isn't he?
I can't just abandon him,
Can i?
Oh, what I wouldn't give
For a deck of tarot cards
Right now!
Zoey's pulling away.
Maybe it's for the best.
If I can't control
Who's in charge of me,
Then she might be safer
To stay away.
But I really don't want her to.
(Deep inhale)
Oh, but I do.
(Horn blasts)
Chris:
Get your butts to the dock,
Campers,
It's challenge time!
Welcome, all!
Today's challenge involves
A trip to the fun zone!
(Laughs)
(Noisemaker honks)
Yay!
(Giggles wildly)
What's the catch?
Is the fun zone just a building
That's on fire?
No.
Duncan:
Is it a pit
Full of intestines?
Would that be fun?
You've had it
Kinda rough lately,
So I figured...
Okay, the lawyers figured
You deserve a treat.
But if you'd rather do
Something else...?
Vultures:
No!
Fun zone it is!
Ooh! Here's our ride.
Scott:
I'm back from exile.
Chris:
All aboard!
Duncan:
The fun zone
Is on boney island?
Chris:
Yup! It works better
As a surprise that way.
Heather:
Ugh! I'd forgotten what a dump
This island is!
Come on now.
Maybe someone will finally find
The invincibility statue!
I searched all night!
There is no statue!
Say it!
Yes, there is,
But it's hidden
In the fun zone!
And whoever finds it
Gets to keep it.
Contestants:
Woo-hoo! Yeah! Yeah!
Chris:
Welcome to the outside
Of the fabulous fun zone!
Patent pending.
All right,
Let's move it, people.
Keep a steady pace!
(Monkeys gibber and screech)
(Thunderous thud)
Chris:
You are now in the fun zone.
Aka the most dangerous place
You've ever been!
Your challenge is easy:
Put eggs in a basket.
Eggs found here,
In the fun zone,
Belong to all the terrifying
Mutants from season four,
Who will try to smash
Your bodies and eat you.
Mike:
What is fun about that?!
Um... It's fun to watch?
All we have to do
Is collect the eggs?
You'll be fine.
They're just wild,
Mutated beasts
Trying to protect
Their unborn babies.
How bad can it get?
First team with six eggs
In their basket wins!
What if an egg hatches?
Chris:
As long as you keep whatever
Hatches in your basket,
It counts!
And, as a special bonus,
Whoever collects the most eggs
For the winning team
Gets a special reward!
So? Excited? Huh?
Scott:
(Snoring loudly)
Scott!
(Feedback squeals)
Aaggghhhhh!
Ow!
Duncan:
(Laughs)
I found that funny
Because I'm not a nice person.
That's why I laughed.
'Cause I'm not nice!
Thanks, man.
(Groans, annoyed)
Agh! Goshy-gosh! Poopy face!
Fuzzy slipper!
(Sighs, defeated)
What is wrong with me?!
Even my swears are lame.
Chris:
The red basket belongs
To the villains,
The gold one's for duncan
And the rest of the do-gooders.
I'd wish you all good luck,
But it's bad for ratings,
So... I hope some of you
Get really hurt.
(Horn blasts)
Chris:
Begin!
We should look for eggs
Together!
Uh, we're on
Different teams now.
That doesn't matter!
Why would that matter?!
No! It even doesn't!
(Panting)
Cam-odyyyy!
(Sobs)
Chris:
Is there a psychiatrist
On the island?
You know,
In case of emergencies?
This will get ugly.
(Snoring)
Scott! Are you o-
(Fighting growls)
Agh! Ah! No!
It's me! Stop!
Come on,
Let's find some eggs.
Zoey: aggghhhh!
Mike: (clears throat)
Mike:
Sorry! Didn't mean to spook you.
I know I've been weird lately,
But I feel less...
Scared of myself
When I'm with you.
I feel better
When I'm around you too.
You know, when you're you.
Being around you
Makes me feel
More like the me
I wanna be
When I'm around you...
Being me.
Uh...
Mike and zoey:
(Chuckle)
(Zoey gasps,
Claws snap loudly)
You wanna search
Together for-
Would you like
To pair up-
Sure.
Yeah.
(cr*ck)
Alejandro:
(Gasps)
Heather:
Egg-cellent work, alejandro.
Chris:
First egg goes to the vultures!
Cameron: woo-hoo!
Gwen: yeah!
Chris:
You better get your butts
In gear, hamsters!
Alejandro:
Hang on. What's to stop
The other team
From taking eggs
From our basket?
Chris:
Integrity?
Heather:
So, nothing.
Chris:
I didn't make it a rule
That they can't,
So... I guess they can.
You stay,
Guard the nest.
Alejandro:
You're the boss!
For now.
Zoey:
Shhh... Look!
It's larry,
And he's got an egg.
Which means larry's
Actually a laurie?
Wait here.
When I grab the flower,
Larry'll chase me.
You grab the egg
And head back to the basket.
But what about-
I'll be fine.
Meet you at the basket!
Zoey:
Yeah! Sorry!
(Grunt of effort)
(Screeches)
(Wings b*at)
(Grunts)
Phew! Sorry again!
Sierra:
Duncan! You wanna work together?
And let me call you cody?
No can do!
I'm a lone wolf!
That's how it is
When you're evil.
True evil has no friends!
True evil- whoaaa!
Sweet! And ow!
Zoey:
Hurry! Put it in the basket!
Mike:
(Grunts of effort)
Uh-oh...
(Splat)
Mike: oh...
Zoey: oh!
Chris:
(Whistles innocently)
And the score is one all!
Zoey: yes!
Mike: sweet!
Yeah! One for the good guys.
I mean bad guys!
Zoey:
Can you stay
And guard our basket?
Otherwise...
Duncan:
Hmm... Good point.
Zoey:
Thanks, duncan!
Makes sense that
The two biggest villains
Are the ones guarding
The eggs.
Yes. We are like
Two mother hens.
Duncan:
(Deflated sigh)
Aw, man.
(Heavy stomping)
Heather:
Glad I found you.
Alejandro's convincing everyone
To vote for scott
At the next elimination!
Courtney:
What?!
Don't worry,
My vote's for alejandro.
(Cracking)
Chris:
That's two eggs
For the heroes.
(Snarling)
Ugh!
Aw, it thinks
I'm its mommy!
It's adorable!
Yeah. Maybe you should stay
While I go find some more eggs.
Sure.
A mother has to take care
Of her newborn!
It's hard-boiled down
To two eggs for the heroes
And one for the villains,
But the challenge is far
From over easy.
Who will win?
Your quiche is as good as mine.
(Chuckles)
Chris:
Stay tuned
To total drama all-stars!
Yeah, I'm gonna fire
Whoever wrote that.
(Birds screech)
Courtney:
I don't know how you guys put up
With a whole season
Of these weird monsters.
Hey, whatever doesn't horribly
Maim and devour you
Only makes you stronger.
Stay close,
I got your back.
Uh, sorry.
Uh, i, uh...
Whoaaa!
(Shrill scream)
(Girly shriek)
(Creature screeches,
Courtney squeals)
Courtney:
Let! Go! Of! My! Teammate!
Gaah! Yes!
Weirdo gopher egg!
Come on!
Right behind you.
Zoey:
Easy, easy...
Zoey: (gasps)
Mike: aggghhhhhh!
Zoey:
Run!
Chris:
And the villains are up
Four to two!
Heather:
(Pants) phew!
I need a break.
I'll guard the basket
For a while.
Alejandro:
As you wish.
Heather:
Don't get too close -
Alejandro has everyone else
Convinced
To vote off cameron next...
Which is tempting.
Cameron:
Um, I'm right here.
But my vote is for alejandro.
And why should
We trust you?
Heather:
Do what you want, little man,
It's your funeral!
Ugh! I thought you were
Gonna watch the eggs?!
Mike:
(Chuckles)
Sucker!
(Monstrous growl nearby)
Mike and zoey:
(Scream)
Heather:
Shoo! Go bug a hero!
Hmm...
No need to rush to her aid.
Heather:
Agghhh! Oof!
Hello! What have we here?
Alejandro:
(Gasps) no!
No-no-no-no-no!
Hmm...
I can't hold on to the idol;
Someone will see it for sure.
I'll stash it away for now
And go back for it later.
(Chuckles)
Pathetic.
Alejandro:
There you are!
Find any eggs,
Partner?
Actually, I found
The invincibility statue,
But don't bother
Picking my pockets,
I've hidden it away.
Don't suppose
You'll tell me where?
Ha! Don't you worry
Your pretty little head,
It's safe.
Okay, I won't worry
My "pretty head."
Heather:
It's an expression,
And I didn't mean it!
Ooh, wait for me
And my pretty head!
Heather:
Zip it!
Zoey:
So if getting hit in the head
Made you lose contact
With your other personalities,
Would another hit in the head
Bring them back?
Like a reset button!
Worth a try.
(Grimaces)
Do it.
I can't hit you in the head
With a rock!
Maybe cameron will have
A better idea.
Okay.
What is that?
Zoey and mike:
(Gasp)
Chris:
And it's four to three,
Villains!
Check it: I had to fight
A crazy monster
To get this egg.
It was half lion,
Half bear, half poison!
Chris:
Oh. If only there was some way
To go back in time
To see this epic battle.
(Gasps)
That'd be fun!
Oh! What do I have here?
Oh man.
I'm only borrowing
This egg.
I promise I'll bring it back.
(Budgie cries)
Oh, no. No.
Please don't.
(Crying)
Great,
Now you got me crying too!
(Cries and sniffles)
When do you punch the budgie
In the face?
I'm bringing you back
For the next all-star season.
It'll be total sweethearts
Vs. Total bigger sweethearts!
Sweetheart, maybe.
But bigger sweetheart?
No way!
Chris:
The score is still
Four to three villains,
But I see a lot of eggs
Approaching.
It's gonna be a close one!
Courtney:
Woo-hoo!
Chris:
Make that five to three
For the villains.
It's okay, cody one.
It's okay, cody two.
Hooshie-booshie-booshie.
Ow!
You know,
We should only bring back
The sane contestants.
Courtney:
What is that?
Zoey:
Nearly there.
Come on, faster!
Mike and zoey:
(Panting)
Sierra:
Yeah! Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo!
Woo-hoo!
Courtney:
Heather! Throw the egg!
Hurry!
It's our only chance!
Zoey:(gasps)
Mike: no!
Courtney:
(Screams and gasps)
Cameron:
(High-pitched squeals of pain)
Courtney:
Oh, come on!
No!
Chris:
Ooh! Tough break
For team villain.
Mike and zoey:
(Grunts of effort)
Seventeen to five,
The heroes win!
Hamsters:
(Cheering) yeah, heroes!
Woo-hoo!
Now, before we head home,
Did anyone leave
Anything behind
That they'd like
To go get?
Come to mama!
Come on,
Why can't i...
(Gasps)
Heather:
(Infuriated growl)
You took it!
I know you did!
I have no idea
To what you are referring.
All aboard!
Of course chris took
My invincibility statue!
Who else?!
You with your see-all cameras
Everywhere?!
Well, whatever!
I am not the one going home
Tonight,
That I promise you!
I have to protect zoey
At all costs.
(Grunts,
Long deep inhale)
(Evil laughter)
Bravo, mike!
That should keep him quiet
For awhile.
(Whistling
"Dance of the sugar plum fairy")
Der, I'm mike.
(Evil laughter)
Ow. Where am-
Aggghhhh! Oh!
Oh no... Oh no!
No-no-no-no-no!
Noooooooo!
Courtney:
Hey! (Grunts)
Gwen:
Shhh! Quiet.
Look, I ended it
With duncan
And I am done putting boys
Ahead of friendships.
Tell me how to vote tonight
And I'll do it, I swear.
Courtney:
(Unintelligible whisper)
Chris:
Congrats on the victory,
Heroes.
Zoey, since you tipped
Over a dozen eggs
Into your team's basket,
You win a special prize
That'll come in handy
At the next challenge.
But I'm keeping it a secret
'Til then.
I mean why spoil the surprise?
Tonight,
A villain goes home.
Time to vote!
And this is only
Because I can't vote for chris!
She is beautiful,
Isn't she?
Chris:
I've tallied the votes,
And tonight's flushee is...
Alejandro!
Heather: ha!
Alejandro: oh!
I do not think
I'm leaving.
Oh yeah? Really?
Why is that?
(Everyone gasps)
I've got diplomatic
Immunity!
Vultures:
(Gasp)
Just immunity,
Alejandro.
You?! You!
Youuuu!
Chris:
Hate to interrupt during such
A well thought-out argument,
But the only vote that wasn't
For alejandro was for you,
You, youuu!
So you are getting flushed.
Heather:
Noooo...
...oooooo!
Such beauty a toilet
Has never seen.
Chris:
And who's heading
To boney island?
Mal:
I'll go.
(Whistling
"Dance of the sugar plum fairy)
(Boat engine rumbles)
(Gasps)
I know that tune!
Oh man,
I knew mike seemed familiar.
When I was a lowly punk
In juvee,
He was running the place.
But back then,
His name was mal...
And he is bad news.
Alejandro:
Now that I have avenged
The shame you once caused me,
The slate is clean.
We can start fresh.
After all,
We are a perfect couple.
Whaaaaa!
(Splash)
Let's do this!
(Beep)
Aagggghhhh!
(Splash)
Four heroes
And five villains remain.
Who's next to be thrown home
From the throne?
Find out when we return
With more
Total... Drama... All-stars!
05x06 - No One Eggspects The Spanish Opposition
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Canadian animated comedy of teenagers who compete in a reality show in parody of reality shows.
Canadian animated comedy of teenagers who compete in a reality show in parody of reality shows.