Chris:
Previously on "total drama:"
Shawn, sugar and sky
Created their own challenges.
Sky came up with hurdles.
Shawn jumped'em.
Sugar collected'em.
Shawn's treetop race
Was more entertaining
Than a sawing monkey!
Not only did sugar win,
She had flung doing it!
(Laughs)
So it all came down
To sugar's challenge:
A talent show.
Sheriff sky belch-blasting
Targets to bits.
We were all moved
By shawn's armpit opera!
And when sugar combined rap
And country music...
Well, it was something
I will never forget.
See ya! (Laughs)
Down to from
'Cause now we're sugar free.
But it'll still be sweet
To see who gets b*at,
So grab a seat.
There's one million bucks
On the line!
It's finale time!
On "total drama pahkitew
Island!"
♪♪♪
♪ I wanna be
I wanna be ♪
♪ I wanna be famous ♪
♪ I wanna be
I wanna be ♪
♪ I wanna be famous ♪
(Whistling chorus)
Sky:
Ugh. Sleep!
Come on, sleep!
Argh!
What is going on!
I've never had trouble sleeping
Before a big competition.
The only difference this time
Is I could win a million
Dollars.
Ya. It's probably the money.
I bet shawn's having
The same problem.
(Snoring)
(Laughs, snores)
(Startled gasp)
Bwah-gah! Woo!
Training myself to sleep
With my eyes open.
I read that you still
Take-in info
And alert your brain
To wake you up
If there's danger.
And come in pretty handy during
A nighttime zombie att*ck!
Or if you fall asleep
Riding your bike.
Danger! Oh! Ow! Oooh!
Totally works!
Chris: (pa system)
(Air horn honks)
Sky and shawn:
Meeting area. Now.
Yes! Today I fire one
Of you from a cannon
And then start my vacation!
And you'll hand one of us
A million dollars!
I haven't forgotten, sky!
I'm just focusing on the parts
That bring me the most joy,
Okay!?
Have you decided
What the challenge is
That which I'll win with...be?
Wow.
English much? Boom!
Ha!
I am so do english much!
Aw, man!
If I may continue,
Your final challenge
Is so demanding,
The lawyers insisted each
Of you get a helper.
Meh, it's not a horrible idea.
I mean, maybe they'll be able
To help us find your bodies.
So, which of the past
Contestants
Would you like as your helper?
Jasmine has the best skill set
But she likes shawn,
So I can't trust her
To help me win. Hmmm...
My preference based strictly
On physical ability?
Jasmine, rodney, dave, samey,
Topher, scarlett, amy,
Max, beardo, sugar...
Anyone but leonard.
I choose rodney!
Chris:
Choose? (Laughs)
No no no no no no no.
Shawn:
But you asked us who we-
Chris:
I know, I asked who you wanted.
I did that to be mean.
(Laughs)
Your helpers will be
Selected thusly.
When you press this button
The possible helpers will flash
Across the screen.
Whoever's face it stops on -
Is your helper.
Blah!
Eeeee!
Sky:
Can we decline
To use a helper?
No. But you do get one chance
To pass and spin again.
Just to make things
Interesting.
Who goes first will be decided
By a coin toss.
Ow!
Chris:
Shawn wins.
Let's see who you get,
Zombie boy!
Shawn:
Yes. No. Yes. Ugh...
Woo-hoo!
Jasmine?! Sweet!
I'll stick with her!
Chris:
Sky, you're up.
Dave!
(Groans)
(Uncomfortable)
Things ended pretty badly, so,
Um, maybe I'll just try again.
Are ya worried
He wouldn't help you
Because you rejected his love
In front of everyone
And then failed to even
Say goodbye to him
After he sacrificed himself
For you?
No more chances.
What you get is what you get...
And your helper will be...
Dave!
Wow.
What're the odds? (Chuckle)
(Moans)
Are you kidding me?!
Chris:
Sky gets dave
And shawn gets jasmine.
(Helicopter rotors b*at)
Shawn: (giggle)
There was a flippy screen.
Landed on you
And was like bam!
Yes! Totally!
Jasmine:
Totally!
Dave:
Did you...
Land on me right away too?
Sky:
Uh...
Chris:
Oh dave (laughs) funny story-
Sky:
Chris please don't-
Chris:
Sky landed on you,
Took another spin,
Landed on you again
And then whined...
Kinda like this:
"Ugh, are you kidding me?"
Sorry you got stuck with me.
I'll-i'll try to not
Get in your way.
(Snort chuckle)
This'll be like taking candy
From a very sad baby.
Me against shawn was fine!
But shawn and jasmine!
To have any sh*t of winning,
I need dave to be at his best.
I gotta do something!
(Kissing)
What was- why-
You kissed me!?
I passed on you
Because I wanted to focus
On the challenge.
That's hard when you're
Teamed up with someone
You wanna go on a date with.
Dave:
You wanna go
On a date with me?
Sky:
Can you help me win
This challenge?
Dave:
You bet I can!
I am so, like, confused
About what the what
Is with sky and dave.
I mean, like, whaaaat?
Chris:
Ahem! Reunions over?
Good.
Time for your final challenge!
I have endearingly titled it
"The double duo
Of deadly dying death!"
Dave:
(Gulps) is it dangerous?
(Sighs)
"The double duo of deadly
Dying dangerous death!"
Dave:
It's gonna be dangerous.
He was brighter before,
Wasn't he?
Chris:
Since scarlett went crazy
And changed the island
Completely
By wreaking havoc in the secret
Underground control room-
Dave:
Um?
Chris:
No time to explain, dave!
We've yet to explore
All the wonderful
And bizarre dangers
The island's new landscape
Has to offer.
Until now.
Shawn and sky,
With assistance
From your helpers,
You will race across
The island.
First one to cross the finish
Line will receive...
One. Million. Dollars!
All:
Woo! All right! Yes! Oh ya!
Chris:
And all you have to do
Is survive a foot plummet
From an ice cliff,
Successfully learn to breathe
While submerged in mud,
And then sprint miles
Across a wide open field
Where I am absolutely sure
No harm will come to you.
(Long laugh to a slow stop)
The point I'm making is that
There's a decent chance
You may not survive this.
All:
(Worried whimpers) oh.
Chris:
For the first part
Of the challenge
The lawyers insisted you wear
Helmets to protect your brains.
I mean, who knows, someday
You might start using them.
When you get to the top
Of the mountain
It'd be a good idea
To build a bobsled
Or it'll be a very rough
Ride down.
Grab a rope!
Your challenge begins now!
(Air horn sounds)
All:
Whoo! All right! Whoa! Ahhhh!
Chris:
Good luck! Stay safe!
Are things I'd say
If I cared!
Dave:
Whoa! Oof!
Shawn:
Aw man! We're supposed to build
A bobsled out of this junk?!
Jasmine:
Forget about the bobsled!
Jump on!
Shawn:
Wooo-whoo!
Sky:
We're falling behind!
Dave:
Let's just do what they did!
Get on!
Sky:
I don't know
If I like this idea.
Well, do you like the idea
Of losing a million dollars?
Sky:
Go! Go! Go!
Jasmine:
Ha ha! There's no way they'll
Catch up to us n-paff!
Oww! Aghh!
I can't see!
Shawn:
Left! Right! Ahhhh!
Jasmine:
Ow! Ooo!
Shawn:
Right!
(Teeth chatter)
Sky:
We're gaining on them!
They keep hitting moguls.
We have to go around them
Though,
We're too light to go
Through them!
If jasmine can do it,
So can i!
Sky:
Dave. No!
Dave and sky:
Whoaaa!
Jasmine's a bit more solid
Than me
But I plan to start bulking up
When I get back home.
(Snort)
You know, work out,
Eat more... Carbs?
Look! This story's gonna
Have a happy ending!
The boy gets the girl,
The girl gets the money!
That sounds wrong.
Sky:
Whoa!
Dave and sky:
Oof!
Dave and sky:
Wahhh! Oooff!
Dave and sky:
Ahhhhhhh!
Shawn:
Awes-s-some work jasm-mine.
C'mon!
Jasmine:
(Teeth chatter, shivers)
(Effort grunts)
Dave:
Ow. Icy...
Great! We're trapped!
I knew that was a bad idea!
Dave:
(Crying) I feel awful.
I was supposed to help you,
Not... Not help you.
(Sighs)
It's not your fault, dave.
And I need to tell you
Something,
'Cause I feel bad too and-
Dave:
Not even that adorable
Kitten is cheering me up.
Sky:
Kitten?
Hey! Catbot!
Yeah, I'm talking to you,
Ya hideous flea bag!
...catbot?
Dave:
Sky, what are you do-
Sky:
Shh! I'm getting us out!
Just be ready to duck!
So... Are you programmed
To lick your butt
And poop in a box too?
Ha ha!
Sky:
Duck!
(Flame whooshes)
Dave:
That was one bad kitty.
Chris:
This finale's outta control!
Sky's yelling at kittens,
Dave has cried twice already,
And jasmine punched a snowman
In the face
That turned out to be her!
Stay tuned, someone is leaving
Here a millionaire!
It's the finale of
"Total drama pahkitew island!"
Chris:
Welcome back!
Shawn and helper jasmine
Are the first to arrive here,
At the world's largest mud
Puddle.
It's feet deep
And yards across.
And since it's too thick
To swim through,
The only way to the other side
Is with one of you piggybacking
The other.
Shawn:
Um, won't the person
On the bottom drown?
Chris:
Yes.
Jasmine:
Ummmm...
Chris:
Unless they use
This garden hose!
Jasmine:
Ugh. I think we're both safer
If you go on my shoulders.
Shawn:
Oh come on, I could totally-
Fine, you're right.
But are you cool with this?
I mean, you're doing
All the hard stuff here.
Jasmine:
Of course I'm fine with it,
After I was eliminated
I thought it was over for me.
But here we are,
Together in the finale.
If we win we can still
Split the money.
Yaaaa. I'd kinda forgotten
About that.
Well, ya but, technically
It's sky and I in the finale.
Like, you and dave
Are just the helpers.
I'd split it with you
If I could!
But the rules are pretty
Clear so-
Chris:
Actually, I never made
Any rules about that
So I guess if you wanted to,
You could split the money.
Jasmine:
Yes! We can still do it!
Whoo!
Chris:
Isn't it great, shawn?!
Isn't it?!
Shawn:
Aw, yaaaaaay.
Worst helper choice ever!
(Groans)
It's not selfish.
I'm doing this for her too!
My goal of us not being
Eaten by zombies
Outweighs her stupid idea
For the money.
I'll try to word that better.
My cage fighting school slash
Flower shop dream
Is still alive thanks to shawn.
He's the best thing
That's ever happened to me!
(Splat)
Dave: (babbling)
No. No no no! No!
How clean is this mud?
Is it just mud?
For real-real mud?!
Sky:
Please, we're falling behind!
Let's go already!
Dave: (still babbling)
'Cause last time I was under
An outhouse
And the mud was actually-whoa!
(Groans)
In all the excitement
I forgot that I'm terrified
Of confined spaces.
Like, say,
Being submerged in mud!!!
Jasmine:
(Panicked breathing)
Shawn:
Whoa. What-wrong way.
Jasmine?
You're going the wrong way!
Hey! Whoa! Are you running?!
No! Stop!
Dave:
Why are they coming back?
We had the lead!
Turn! A! Round!
Dave, shawn:
Oo-oof! Guh!
Dave:
What are you doing?!
Get off of me!
Shawn:
Hey! Watch it!
(Slapping grunts)
Chris:
Boring!
Deploy the . Model.
(Whooshing, roars)
Dave, shawn:
Ahhhh!
(Splat, coughing)
Tied with shawn. Boom!
I have a real sh*t
At winning this!
Jasmine's done
All the hard work so far.
Maybe I should split
The money with her.
(Coughing, gurgling)
We're all tied up!
It's the perfect time
For a little break.
Jasmine, dave, grab a seat.
Chris:
I'm gonna show you some of my
Favourite clips from the show!
Shawn:
A flower shop
And cage fighting school?!
Could she have a worse plan
For the money?
(Gasps)
Uh, not gonna happen!
I need the whole million.
Half's no good!
Worst helper choice ever!
(Sighs)
It's not selfish.
I'm doing this for her too!
My goal of us not being eaten
By zombies
Outweighs her stupid idea
For the money.
I'll try to word that better.
I wonder if he found
Better way to word it?
But I changed my mind.
I did! Where's that clip?!
Sky:
Heh. That's why I've been
Careful
About what I blab
In confessional.
You can't give chris a*mo
Or he'll-
Chris:
Dave, I would hate for you
To feel left out, so...
Sky:
Hi. I'm sky.
Sky:
My audition tape?
Why would he-
Chris:
Let's get to the good part.
Sky:
But if I do get on the show
I'll really miss
My boyfriend keith.
(Gasp) oh, no!
My boyfriend was in the room
When I made the audition tape.
I had to say that.
Truth is I was going to dump
Him before I left,
But ran out of time and-
I really like dave!
Ohhh...
I messed this up big time!
I am so, like, confused
About what is going on
With dave and sky!
I mean, like, did you,
Like, hear that!?
Like? Heh heh heh.
Chris:
Maybe he missed it.
I'll really miss my boyfriend
Keith (rewind)
...my boyfriend keith (static)
...my boyfriend keith (static)
(Slow motion)
...my boyfriend keith (static)
Sky:
Dave, I can explain-
Dave:
Rrrrrahhh!
That was the but?!
But I have a boyfriend?!
A boyfriend?!!
Shawn:
Jasmine, I changed my mind.
I will split the money!
I want to!
You have to believe me!
I will never
Believe you again!
(Bursts out crying)
Sky:
I do have a boyfriend,
But he's not the one
And when I met you i-
Dave:
Don't care!
(Air horn sounds)
I'm sorry but I am
Out of popcorn,
So we should probably get
Back to the challenge.
Dave, jasmine:
Seriously?!
Chris:
Obviously the helpers
Aren't going to be very
Helpful anymore so,
Instead of being helpers
Jasmine and dave
Will now be hinderers!
The island is now back online
And with these controllers
They will be able to throw up
Obstacles to slow you down
Or completely crush you.
Sweet!
Okay.
Shawn, sky:
(Gulp)
Chris: (laughs)
That was the good part.
Let me tell you the bad part.
You have minutes to finish
This challenge,
If neither of you do,
Jasmine and dave get
To split the money!
Shawn, sky:
What?! You can't do that!
Chris:
I can. I will. I am! Go!
(Air horn blows)
I could still open my cage
Fighting school
Slash flower shop?
Dave:
Your what?
That is the coolest idea
I have ever heard.
Horrible idea.
Who gets into a fight
With flowers?
I never had a plan
For the money but now I do.
I'm gonna light it on fire
In front of sky.
Does that seem too bitter?
(Rockets whoosh)
Shawn:
Rocket trees?!
Sky:
Whoa!
(Thunder rolls)
Sky:
Oh, come on!
Shawn:
Uh oh.
This is so much fun!
I don't want shawn to win,
Obviously.
But I don't want to see him
Hurt either.
Well, not badly.
(Lightning strikes)
Ahhhh!
Oof!
(Shawn grunts in pain)
(Cheering)
Oof!
(Shawn laughs)
Jasmine:
The way they treated us
Was cold
So this seems appropriate...
I guess.
(Wind howls)
Sky:
I c-c-can see
The fin-finish line.
Shawn:
They're n-not making
This e-easy!
Sky:
Ww-wwould you?!
Chris:
Ohhhh...
They're getting close!
Dave:
(Effort grunt)
Chris: (over speakers)
Two minutes left! Two minutes!
Shawn!
Sky:
Ooh! I'm gonna make it!
(Grunts)
Not before me!
If I win this thing
Maybe jasmine and I
Still have a sh*t.
Sky:
Sorry,
That ain't happening!
Bad news, guys,
It's all uphill from here!
(Cracking)
Shawn, sky:
Whoaaa! Arghhhh!!!
Shawn:
Ah, crud.
(Echoes) crud...
(Laughs)
Seconds left!
Shawn:
Well, I guess she's gonna
Get her
Flower shop fighting school.
Good for you, jasmine.
Sky:
It's not fair!
No no no no no!
(Screaming)
Jasmine: (gasps) shawn!
Dave: oh yaaaa!
, , ...
... , , .
Game over!
(Sounds air horn)
Oh yeah!
Jasmine:
Is shawn okay?!
Dave:
Who cares! We won!
Chris:
Congratulations.
Revenge is sweetest-
Whoa, what have we here?!
Jasmine:
(Gasps)
Nooooooooo!
Jasmine:
Shaa-aaaaawn! Agh!
Chef:
Ahh!
I got this for you.
I hope we can still-
Shawn:
(Gasps)
Did i..?
Jasmine:
You won!
Shawn:
No! We won.
If you're still okay with
Splitting the money then-
Mmmph!
(Kissing)
Chris:
That's it for this very,
Very off season.
This is chris maclean,
Saying if you can't stand
The pain,
Stay off the
"Total drama pahkitew island!"
Did we forget something?
At least things
Can only go up from here.
(Ferocious growling)
(Sighs) of course...
05x26 - Lies, Cries and One Big Prize
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Canadian animated comedy of teenagers who compete in a reality show in parody of reality shows.
Canadian animated comedy of teenagers who compete in a reality show in parody of reality shows.