01x04 - Project Loud House/In Tents Debate

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like ping pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house

♪ In the Loud house

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud Loud Loud

♪ Loud house

- Poo-poo.

[light upbeat music]

♪

- Ever wonder what it's like
to grow up in a big family?

Well, so does my teacher.

Our class assignment is to do
a report on our families.

With ten sisters,
I can sum up mine in one word.

Chaos.

It took 3 weeks,
4 boxes of pasta,

2 tubes of glue,
and 27 popsicle sticks,

but the centerpiece of
my project is finally finished.

Pretty accurate representation
of the Loud family, I'd say,

but making this thing
was the easy part.

The real challenge
is getting it to school on time

and in one piece
to give my report.

Sounds easy, right?

Not in my house.

If you want to get all ten
of your sisters

out the door on time,

you have to get up pretty early,
and you have to have a plan.

[loud thuds
and indistinct chatter]

The ten-headed beast has awoken.

Wish me luck.

[cat yowls]

Ah!

Not today, Luan.

- Oh, we'll see about that.
"Pailure" is not an option.

[laughs]
Get it?

- I'll just take this to the car
later, but first, Luna.

A little
"Man with the Plan" music?

- You got it, man.

[plays rock music]

- It's my dollar!

- No, it's mine!
- Let go!

- No, you let go.
- Right on cue.

- You let go!
- Stop it!

both: Hey!

[cash register bell rings]

- Half for Lola.
Half for Lana.

both: Thanks, Lincoln.

- Good morning, Lincoln.
- Ah! Good morning, Lucy.

- For my new poem, I need a word
that rhymes with choose.

- Uh, how about lose?
- That works.

- Time to get dressed, Lily.

- Hey, Lincoln!
Think fast!

[Lily giggles]
- [chuckles]

Nice catch,
Lincoln.

- Nice throw, Lynn.
[Lily babbles]

- O-M-G, Bobby, I literally had
to call you right away.

I am just so excited
about the homecoming dance.

I know, right?
You're so sweet.

- I'll get the drop on you yet.
[laughs]

Get it?
- What do you want?

- Lori, could you
maybe hang up the phone

and get ready for school?

- Cool it, twerp.

I'm quite capable
of doing two things at once.

- [gasps]
- Leni?

- Note to self.

Never walk and chew gum
at the same time.

- Time's running out.

- Lincoln, think fast!

♪

- Okay, let's get
you downstairs.

- Scatter, she's gonna blow!
- Or not.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

[Erlenmeyer flask whistles]

[whistling stops]

Phew!

Lisa, you're always
forgetting the dinitrotoluene.

- Silly me.
Much appreciated.

[expl*si*n booms]

I'm still alive!

- Ayeee!
Lucha libre!

[screams]

[clatter and cat yowls]

Todo bien.

- Lily, pants.
[hamster chitters]

[Lily babbles]

- I was here first!
- No, I was!

- Nuh-uh! I was!
- No way! I was!

- You always say that!
- You do!

both: Hey, no cutting!

Thanks, Lincoln.

♪

- Has anyone seen my zit cream?

- I literally found
the cutest dress to wear.

- A word that rhymes with stuck.
- Luck.

- How do you stop a rhino
from charging?

- You take away his credit card.
- [laughs]

- Mom said no solving
for X on the walls.

Same. Blame.
Game. Fame.

- Where the heck
are my roller skates?

I've got field hockey today.

- Wait. There's no roller skates
in field hockey.

- The way I play, there is.

[Lily babbles]
- Gotcha.

Phase one of Operation
Get Ready for School

and Into the Car on Time
is complete.

Now comes phase two,
breakfast.

♪

- Thank you!

[sizzles]

- Cooking is usually
Dad's territory,

but I gave him
the day off

'cause I have to kick things
into high gear.

Egg whites for Leni.

Sunny side up for Luna.

Funny side up for Luan.

- Great yolk.
[laughs]

- Scrambled for Lynn.
Fried for Lisa.

Deviled eggs for the twins,
and...

- Oh, and I picked out
the perfect tux for you to wear,

Bobby.
- Hard-boiled for Lori.

Extra goo-goo-gooey for Lily.

- Goo goo goo.

- And for Lucy,
extra well-done.

- If I had a heart,
it would be swelling right now.

- All righty, then.
We are dressed and fed,

and now we have our backpacks
and lunches

prepared to dietary needs.

We're just waiting on Lori.

- No, not puke, Bobby.
Puce.

It's like a reddish brownish.
- [groans]

Everyone, wait here
while I grab my project.

Time for phase three, getting
you out the door in one piece.

Whoa! Whoa!

[grunting]
Whoa!

Phew! Okay then,
we're all ready to go?

Time for phase four,
out the door.

Like I said, if you want
to get all your sisters

out the door on time,

you have to have a plan.
- Fine.

If you don't want
to wear the tux,

then I don't want to go
to the dance!

In fact, I don't even want
to go to school!

[screams]

- So close.
Wait!

[indistinct chatter]
No, no, no.

Everyone, stay right
where you are.

Lori, wait.

You're the only one
who can drive us.

- Get Mom to drive you!

- But she's already left.

- Ah! I'm blue!

My skin's turned blue!

- Technically it's
a sallow shade of cerulean,

but why split hairs?

- Lisa, what did you do?

- I secretly switched
Leni's blemish cream

for an experimental
skin pigmentation ointment

I've been working on.

- Why would you do that?

- Because she wouldn't let me
try it on her if I had asked.

- You go upstairs right now
and get something to fix it.

- Fine.
Hairless apes one, science zero.

- Can't something go my way
for once?

- You can't always get
what you want, bro.

- Lincoln,
I've finished my poem.

It's called "Failure."

- Lucy, I really don't have time
for--

- Failure.

It is not an option,

yet it's something you choose.

The man with the plan
is destined to lose.

- Lily, where are your clothes?

And where is your diaper?

- Go poo-poo.
[laughs]

[diaper squishes]

- I found the diaper.

[upbeat music]

- Failure.

You know there is no one else
to blame,

for the choices you make
are always the same.

- Come on, Lori. Please?

I have my report this morning.

- Go away!

- The peanut butter sandwich
is mine!

- No, the jelly sandwich
is yours!

- No!
- Ugh!

- You like the peanut butter
and I like the jelly!

- You like peanut butter
and I like jelly!

- No, I like jelly and you--

both: Hey!

♪

- Now you each have a peanut
butter and jelly sandwich.

Now, get to the car.

both: Thanks, Lincoln.

- Here's the antidote.

- Thank you.

Wait a second.

[bird chirps]

The real antidote?

- Fine.
Hairless apes two, science zero.

- Here.
- [gasps]

- Failure.

It's all your fault,
this streak of bad luck.

No escape from this cycle
in which you are stuck.

- Stop!

I've got a poem for you now.

It's called "Lucy."

Dark as night, hair like tar.

Take your spooky self
to the car.

- Sigh.

Once again, your poetic
brilliance has put me to shame.

- Think fast!
- Oh! Ow.

- Where is my field hockey
stick?

I have roller derby today.

- There's no field hockey sticks
in roller derby.

- The way I play, there is!

Oh!

- Finally.

I look perfect and beautiful
again.

- Oh, come on.

I thought we were pails.
[laughs]

Get it? Get it?

- How am I gonna deal with Lori?

Got it.

[phone line trilling]

- Hello?
- Hey, babe.

It's your boyfriend, Bobby.

I just wanted to say
that I'm sorry

and that I will wear any tux
you want.

- [squeals]
Oh, Bobby!

[laughs]

♪

Would you hurry up,
Lincoln?

It's always such a hassle

getting you out of the door
in the morning.

♪

- What's all this?

- It's my gear, dude.

I have rehearsal.

- And who is that?

- This is my roadie, Chunk.

- No, no, no.

He was not part of the plan.

You, out.

I'll take care of this.
- Thanks, bro.

- [grunts]

[grunts]

[dramatic music]

Operation complete,
and with ten minutes to spare.

A Loud house first, I might add.

Let's roll.

[engine turns]

[Luan laughs]

Stop!

[tires screech]

♪

[sighs]

Phew!
That was close.

Aah!
[grunts]

[in slow-motion]
No!

[thud and clatter]

All of this work
for nothing.

How could I be so stupid?

How? How? How?

- If you're done with your pity
party, maybe we could help?

- Yeah.
11 heads are better than 1.

- Try not to lose yours.
[laughs]

- Yeah, every little thing
is gonna be all right.

- Really?
You'll help?

both: It's what families do.

- But I'm supposed to give
this report in ten minutes

and this thing is destroyed.

What can you guys do?

In conclusion, in my family,
every day is a challenge,

but you can be sure that
when I need them,

my sisters will always
be there for me.

All of them.

And sure, life in the Loud house
can be summed up in one word.

Chaos.

But I love that chaos,

and I wouldn't trade it
for the world.

- That was a fantastic report,
Lincoln.

I'm giving you an A.

Ah!
- [gasps]

- Make that an A-minus.

- Pailed it!
[laughs]