- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls
like ping pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey
- ♪ Leaping over
laundry piles ♪
♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪
♪ Guy's gotta do what he can
to survive ♪
- ♪ In the loud house
in the loud house ♪
♪ Dodge, dodge push and shove
That's how we show our love ♪
- ♪ In the loud house
in the loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy
Ten girls ♪
♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud!
House! ♪
- ♪ Loud!
Loud house! ♪
- Poo poo.
[hard rock music]
♪
Join me, Hunter Spector,
spectre hunter,
leader of the Academy
of Really Good Ghost Hunters,
or ARGGH!
as I descend
into the scariest place
in any home:
the basement!
- [evil laugh]
- Don't miss it or you'll be
left in the dark.
- It's finally here,
the live season finale
of the greatest show ever!
All right, I know you're
probably saying to yourself,
Lincoln, with ten sisters,
there's no way
you're going to get to watch
your favorite show.
And you'd be right.
Every Sunday at : ,
it's the same thing.
- I was here first!
[girls arguing]
- But tonight,
I have a plan.
Cadet Lincoln calling
Cadet Clyde, do you read me?
- This is Cadet Clyde,
I read you loud and clear.
I'm so excited!
We finally get to watch
"ARGGH!" together,
and by "together,"
I mean you at your house
and me at mine,right?
- For such a landmark event,
we decided
it'd be best for us
to watch it separately.
Clyde's got a huge crush
on my sister, Lori.
It gets awkward.
- Hubba hubba.
- Clyde?
Clyde, do you read me?
- Uh, you'd better hurry,
Lincoln, it's almost : .
- It's time to put Operation
Distract My Sisters
So That I Can Get
to the TV First
and Watch the Special
Live Season Finale of "ARGGH!"
and Think of a Shorter Name
for This Operation...
into action.
[door opening]
both: Cartoons!
Cartoons! Cartoons!
Cartoons!
- Did someone say,
"Tea party"?
- [squeals]
Thank you, Lincoln.
- Hey, I don't wanna be part
of some dumb old tea party.
I'm going to watch TV!
- Not even if
these guys are invited?
[frog croaks]
- [squeals]
Thanks, Lincoln!
[door opening]
- Hey, Luan.
- I was just heading downstairs
to watch TV.
- You might want to grab
your video camera instead.
The twins are at it again.
[dishes breaking]
- You can't! You can't!
VIP only!
- This is totally
gonna go viral!
- Ow! Ow!
- Thanks, Linc.
[door opening]
- Hey, Lisa, I saved you
a trip downstairs
and got that stuff
you needed.
- The lactose, triticum protein,
sodium chloride crystals,
sucrose,
and galus galus ovum?
- Uh, you mean, milk, flour,
salt, sugar, and eggs?
You say tomato,
I say Solanum Lycopersicum.
Thank you.
- Yeah!
Two minutes to game time. Whoo!
- Hey, Lynn, check it out.
I filled it with helium
for the extreme player
who demands more.
- I demand more.
- Uh, go long!
- [whistles]
[baby laughs]
- [grunts]
Get over here, you!
- Oh, my gosh, Leni!
- What?
Is there a spider on me?
Get it off! Get it off!
Get it off!
[screams]
[baby laughs]
- Worse, there's a zit
on the end of your nose.
- I'm a hideous monster.
[baby laughs]
- Hey, bro.
TV tonight
is gonna be rockin'!
Yeah!
- Or you could have
your very own
flashlight rock show
in your bedroom.
- That is sweet.
Thanks, Linc.
- Has anyone seen my phone?
I need to live-tweet my show.
- Hey, Lori.
Hey, hey, Lori,
I found your phone.
- Give me that!
How many times
do I have to tell you
to keep your hands
off of my stuff?
- Three, two, one.
[phone ringing]
- Hello?
Oh, hi, Bobby.
[giggles]
No, I didn't text you
to call me,
but I'm glad you did.
Thanks for nothing,
twerp.
[baby snores]
- And that makes ten.
[rock music]
Like I said,
I might not be the fastest
and I might not be
the strongest,
but to get all of my sisters
out of the way,
it pays to have a plan.
- You forgot me.
- Ahh!
- Lucy!
I always forget about Lucy!
- Story of my life.
- What are you doing here?
- It's the season premiere
of my favorite show,
"Vampires of Melancholia."
- This is the episode
of "ARGGH!" that everyone's
going to be talking about
at school tomorrow.
Please let me watch it.
Pretty please
with a black cherry on top?
- I'm sorry, Lincoln,
but you know the rule.
I was here...
[slowed down voice]
First.
- No!
Ha!
- That's the old remote
that Lily threw into the toilet.
- Ugh!
[coughs and spits]
[sobs]
- Sorry, Lincoln,
I can't miss my vampires.
Edwin is so cold and tormented
and mysterious.
Sigh.
If only he wasn't
from another century.
- Another century.
That's okay, Lucy,
you watch your show
on the big color TV.
I'll just go watchmy show
on Dad's crummy old
black and white TV.
- Black and white are
my favorite colors.
- Yeah, it'll make
watching my show
a little bit more spooky.
- Spooky is also
my favorite color.
- Well, enjoy
your vampires.
- Wait.
I'll take the old TV.
- [grunts]
How can only two colors
be so heavy?
Here you are.
Now to plug it in,
so you can be happy or sad
or whatever that emotion is.
And I won't be left
in the dark.
Dang it.
[all talking over each other]
- All right, all right,
everybody just
calm down.
- [screams]
Guys, I can't see anything!
I think I've gone blind.
- No, you didn't go blind.
What the heck happened?
- I was just plugging in
the old TV for Lucy
and it must have made
the lights go out.
- Of course it was your fault,
Lincoln.
- Lincoln!
[all complaining]
- What?
All I did was
plug in some dumb old TV.
- Hey, I know why
the lights went out,
'cause they liked
each other.
[laughs]
Get it? Get it?
[all groan]
- That one was so good,
it deserves a cookie.
- Oh, thanks.
So anyway,
what did one light bulb
say to the other?
[all gasp]
- You're glowing.
- Oh, I already told you
that one?
- No, dude,
youare glowing.
- Hey, wow.
- Everyone back away
from Luan.
Lisa, Mom and Dad said
you're not allowed to use
your siblings as experimental
guinea pigs anymore.
- Yeah, not after
what you did to me.
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
- My face feels funny.
- Classic.
All I did was infuse
the bioluminescent DNA
of the Aequorea Victoria
Jellyfish into a cookie.
I call them "Gloweos."
Besides, now we can see.
- Okay, everyone huddle
around Luan.
- I always knew I was
the light of your life.
[laughs]
[all groan]
- Okay, so how about we get
that power back on?
- Hey, when Mom and Dad are out,
I'm in charge,
so first, we need to get
a head count
to make sure
we're all here.
- One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
And me. That's .
Yep, that's all of us.
We are all here
and accounted for.
- You forgot me.
- Ahh!
Can I go flip
the circuit breaker
and get the lights
back on
before Lucy gives me
a heart attack?
- Again, in charge.
I'll do it.
Where is this
circuit breaker thingy?
- In the basement.
[scary music]
- Why am I the one
who has to do this?
all: Because you're
in charge.
- All right, all right.
Come on, Luan, light the way.
- That's the brightest idea
you've had all day.
[laughs]
[all gasp]
- Ooh.
I thought I was
staying in tonight,
but I guess I'm going out.
[laughs]
[all groan]
- Lisa, give her another one
of those cookies.
We won't tell.
- Negative.
That was the only one.
Prototype.
- Just great.
[wood creaking]
[gasps] There's something
in the basement.
I'm not going
down there.
- Ooh!
You're scared of the dark.
- I am not.
You're the one who's scared.
- I'm not afraid
of anything.
- Boo.
- Ahh!
[all talking over each other]
both:
There's a ghost in the basement!
[both sobbing]
- Guys!
I'm running out of time!
It's really important
that I-I-I--
[sighs]
Fix this.
Okay, quiet!
Come here, you two.
It's okay.
There's nothing
to be afraid of.
Your big brother
will protect you.
In fact, I will
protect all of you!
For I am Cadet Lincoln,
highly trained student
of the Academy of Really Good
Ghost Hunters, or...
"ARGGH!"
[rock music]
Cadet Clyde,
this is Cadet Lincoln.
Forget the plan.
I'm going to need back up.
♪
- Cadet Clyde,
reporting for duty.
L-L-L-Lori?
Red alert, red alert.
does not compute.
Circuit overload.
Must abort mission.
- I told you
it gets awkward.
I will now descend into
the scariest place
in the house:
the basement.
But fear not.
With my official
"ARGGH!" branded
night-vision goggles,
I can see in the dark.
Ahh!
- Lincoln?
Are you okay?
- The bad news is,
my goggles are just a toy,
and do not really
see in the dark.
The good news is,
they cushioned my face
from the hard
basement floor.
- Hey, I think my video camera
has a night vision setting.
- Sweet!
It's just like the cameras
they use on "ARGGH!"
I'm going in.
- Wait! You're not leaving us
up here all alone are you?
I mean, we couldn't possibly
let you go down there all alone,
we should all go down together,
as a group.
- Very well.
I'll lead the way.
You may want to stay close.
There's no telling
what could be lurking
down here in the dark.
- There's nothing funny
about this situation,
although I do like
dark humor.
- Is someone touching
my hand?
- You're touching
your own hand.
- I hate basements.
[groaning effect]
- Ahh! What's that moaning?
[all gasp]
- Don't freak out.
It's just the pipes settling.
[scratching effect]
-What's that scratching?
[all gasp]
- Don't be scared.
It's just Cliff the cat.
[cat meows]
- What is that smell?
[all gasp]
- It's just Lily
with a full diaper.
[farting effect]
- Poo poo.
- See, guys?
I told you
there's nothing
to be afraid of.
[gasps]
- What is it?
- Lincoln.
Lincoln!
- It's a ghost,
and it knows my name!
[all screaming]
I'll save you,
sisters.
Hiya-a-a!
Hiya!
Take that, evil spirit!
- Cool it, Lincoln,
it's not a ghost.
It's just our laundry.
- Lincoln, Lincoln,
do you read me?
- Clyde?
- I was just callin'
to say sorry
for not being
such a good "ARGGH!" cadet,
and is your sister ready
to date younger men?
- Never gonna happen.
- Was that your sister?
Red alert. Red alert.
Overload.
Overload.
- Guys, I still can't see!
- Open your eyes.
- It's a miracle!
- First one to the TV
is couch commando.
- I can still
get there first!
[adventure music]
♪
- Wow!
That was by far
the best episode of "ARGGH!"
ever.
I'd hate to be you
if you missed it.
- No-o-o!
[sobbing] I can't believe
I missed my show.
[sobs]
- Sorry you missed your show,Lincoln.
- But you just lived it.
Check it out.
- It's a ghost
and it knows my name!
[all screaming]
[laughter]
- I wasn't scared at all.
- You know, I may have
missed my show,
but sometimes, it's not about
being there first.
Sometimes, it's about
being there together,
all of us.
- You forgot me.
[all scream]
[spy music]
♪
[video game effects]
- Take that, zombie.
Feel my twerk, you evil jerk.
- [growls]
- Hoo!
- [groans]
- Hoo! Ha! Hoo!
Ha! Hoo! Ha! Hoo!
- [growls]
- Ooh!
- Boom!
- [groans]
- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
- [growls]
- Lincoln!
- Ugh.
[screams]
- There's only one rule
in this house.
Stay out of my bedroom!
If I catch you in here again,
I will literally
turn you
into a human pretzel!
No, not you, Bobby.
[giggles]
One sec, okay?
[video game effects]
- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Ow!
Yeah.
[humming]
[unzipping fly]
Zombies don't need
to see this.
[knocking at the door]
Occupied!
[pounding at the door]
[sighs]
I can't believe some--
- Bobby, you'll never guess
what Whitney said to me today.
- That you don't respect
a man's privacy?
- No, silly, not even.
She was all like...
- Oh, no.
My gaming glasses!
- No running
in the hallway!
- Huh?
What are you talking about?
- Lana, is this maggot
giving you lip?
- We're the new hall monitors
at school,
so we're practicing
at home.
- If we catch you
speeding again,
you're going downtown!
We already locked up Luan
for telling bad jokes.
- Hey, did you hear the one
about the thief
who stole a calendar?
He got months.
[rim shot]
[laughs]
Get it?
- That's five more minutes,
dirt bag!
- Okay, okay, I'll walk
within the speed limit, I swear.
- No swearing!
[electronic buzzing]
- [gasps]
Someone stepped on my glasses.
No!
[car door closing
and engine starting]
Lori, you dirt bag!
One minute I'm electric-sliding
with the undead, and the next--
[groans]
It's all Lori's fault!
- I can't believe it.
- I know.
She didn't even say sorry.
- No, I can't believe
these were touched
by Lori's
beautiful tootsies.
- Snap out of it, Clyde.
Lori's a monster.
All she cares about is
talking on her stupid phone.
Well, I'm going to give her
a call she'll never forget.
- What are you gonna say?
"Why 'blank' is
the worst sister ever?"
- I knew this would
come in handy someday.
I just didn't know which sister
would be getting it.
But you, Lori Loud, have made
my decision very easy.
[phone quacks]
[phone ringing tone]
[playing guitar]
♪
Agh, must be
charging her phone.
No worries, I'll just
leave it on her voicemail.
- Hey, this is Lori.
You know what to do.
[beep]
- Hey, Lori,
it's your dear brother,
Lincoln.
There's something
I've been meaning to tell you.
You are--
[playing loud rock music]
♪
And that is why you are
the worst sister ever!
[phone quacks]
What do you think, Clyde?
- [withers]
- Hey, bro.
Just wanted to say
I'm so sorry I stepped
on your stupid toy.
So I went out and bought you
a stupid new one.
- You did what now?
- Also, I'm very impressed
you didn't freak out over this.
Very mature.
- [sheepish laugh]
Yup, that's me, Mr. Mature.
[gasps]
Clyde, what I have done?
I called Lori a--
[guitar chord]
When she's actually a--
[harp chord]
What am I gonna do?
You're right!
Lori clearly hasn't
listened to the voice-mail yet
or I'd be a human pretzel.
We've gotta delete
the message.
- Huh?
- Good talk.
[dramatic music]
♪
[beeps]
- Perfect.
Lori doesn't have her cell,
which means it's still
in there charging.
Our mission is
to infiltrate her room
and delete the message
before she gets back.
- But Lori's room
is off limits.
- I know. That's why I need you
to be a lookout for her.
- That's easy, I'm always
on the lookout for Lori.
- Then let's do this.
♪
- In position.
- Roger that.
- I know poop when I see it,
and that's definitely some poop.
- Drat, the po-po.
I can't go through,
so I'm gonna have to go over.
[groovy music]
♪
- Hey, fur ball!
No speeding!
both: Hey, what did we just say?
Get back here!
- I'm in.
- Great.
Proceed two clicks north,
hook a left, and you should be
right over the target.
[spy music]
♪
- I've got eyes
on the package.
♪
[beeps]
- Lincoln,
Lori's coming.
- You're going to have to
stall her.
- Roger that.
[romantic music]
- Hey, beautiful, you take
these stairs often?
- [chuckles]
I will now, handsome.
[dramatic music]
- Hey, Lori,
it's your dear brother Lincoln.
- Message deleted.
♪
- And that's how
we're gonna do it.
- I love it, especially the part
where I get to talk to Lori.
- [coughs]
Is that perfume?
- Yeah, it's my Nana's.
- Here are the blueprints
for the vents.
- Are these food stains?
- I eat ketchup sandwiches
while I floor-plan.
[door opening]
Quiet, Lori's coming.
[beeps]
Okay, let's do this.
[tense music]
♪
- I'm in position!
- [grunts]
Roger that.
- No, I can't let you off
with a warning.
- [laughs]
[spy music]
- Huh!
♪
[stifling a sneeze]
- Next time, remember,
this is a mandatory diaper zone!
[foghorn blows]
- [retches]
[exciting music]
♪
Gah.
Ketchup fingers.
- [giggles]
- She's making a crawl for it!
- Ugh!
Clyde, I'm in.
- Hey, Lincoln.
- [screams]
Lucy, what are you doing
in here?
- I come here to think.
I actually just wrote a new poem
called "Ventilate."
"Inside the wall,
I choose to be alone.
If I ever get stuck,
please listen for my moan."
- Right.
[chuckles]
Clyde, get me
to Lori's room, now.
- Go three clicks,
then a right.
Or is it three rights,
then a click?
Wait, what's a click?
- Never mind,
I think I'm there.
Whoa!
Aah!
- Hey, Lincoln.
- Phew! Thanks, Luce.
- Lincoln,
everything okay?
- Yeah, Clyde.
[groans]
Everything's perfect.
I've got eyes
on the package.
- Package?
What about Lori's phone?
- Clyde, what kind of rope
is this?
- Cherry licorice rope.
- Aah!
[thud]
- Lincoln!
Lori's coming!
Don't worry,
I'll stall her.
[romantic music]
♪
[wolf whistle]
- What?
Ugh!
Gross.
[dramatic music]
♪
- [teeth chattering]
Ugh!
- So this is where
all my shoes are.
- [muffled yell]
[phone ringing]
- Finally.
Ooh! New messages.
I'm so loved.
- Mission is compromised!
The package is on the move.
Clyde?
- [shuddering]
- Clyde, do you read me?
[beep]
- Hey, babe, it's Bobby.
Do you think we'll
always be together?
- Aww!
Totes saving that one.
[beep]
- Hey, babe, it's Bobby again.
Should our couple name
be Bori or Lobby?
- Saved.
[police siren chirps]
- We warned you, dirt bag!
- It's the clink for Linc.
- Look!
Luan's making a jailbreak.
- Hey!
- Oh, forget that bum.
He's out of our jurisdiction
now.
- Yeah.
Let's get donuts.
[beep]
- Hey, Lori,
it's your dear brother,
Lincoln.
Lori!
[voice slowed down]
No-o-o!
Ugh!
There's something
I've been meaning to tell you.
You are--
- Ugh.
Delete.
Lincoln, there are two rules
in this house:
stay out of my room,
and never call my phone!
My voice-mail is
full enough
without useless messages
from you!
- Gee, Lori, I'm sorry.
- But I'm gonna let it slide
this time
'cause you were so mature
when I broke your stupid toy.
- [sheepish laugh]
Uh, right.
That's me, Mr. Mature.
[phone ringing]
- Bobby,
only messages today?
I thought you
cared about me.
- [sighs]
Next time I have a problem
with one of my sisters,
I'll just talk to them
instead of leaving a message
or writing
a nasty letter.
Speaking of which,
where is that letter?
- If you want our couple name
to be Lobby,
you're gonna have to show
a little--
What's this?
"Why Lori is
the Worst Sister Ever."
Bobby, I gotta go.
I'm about to turn Lincoln
into a human pretzel!
Lincoln!
What is this?
- Well, it's time to do
the official dance
of the Loud House:
The Running Man.
- When I get my hands on you,
I'm gonna--
[loud rock music playing]
- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud House
- ♪ Loud House
- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way
we show our love ♪
♪ In the Loud House
- ♪ Loud House
♪ Laundry pile
stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with kids
♪ That's the way it always is
in the Loud House ♪
01x01 - Left in the Dark/Get the Message
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Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.
Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.