02x05 - Who's Your Kin

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

That's my oat milk,
Blue Ivy.

Ayana.

Big day already?

‐ Um, yeah.
My last staff member left,

and I have to write
the entire issue by myself.

So thought I'd go into
the office to get a head start.

‐ Oh, sh*t.
Hold up, I got you a gift.

Um...

Yeah, I rolled them for you

so you don't have to smoke
your samples.

‐ Thank you, but weed actually
makes me relax,

which is the opposite
of what I need.

‐ Oh, sh*t.
Well, I have the opposite.

There we go. Huh?

Oh, it's not, um, cocaine.

It's‐‐it's Gunth‐powder.

‐ I'm just gonna take the weed.
‐ Good call.

‐ I'm gonna be good.

This is nothing I can't handle.

I got this.

‐ You got it.
‐ Yeah.

‐ Yeah.
Yeah.

‐ Yeah.
Yeah.

‐ You're gonna k*ll it.

♪ Girl in the front row ♪

♪ I seen her reaction ♪

♪ Like wow, wow, wow ♪

♪ Can't stop
shutting 'em down ♪

‐ What the f*ck?

♪ ♪

This is bullshit.
Yeah.

I have two f*cking days to get
$15,000, or I lose the office.

‐ God damn, girl.

How'd you get this far
in the hole, though?

You got a gambling debt we
don't know about or something?

‐ No. My rent raised.

And also the printing costs
keep increasing.

And also the advertisers
that we have

don't work with print
newspapers anymore.

Like, I knew this was coming,
but I just thought

I had more time.

‐ You don't have a staff.

Maybe you save money on rent
by working from home.

‐ Mm.
‐ Oh, from Gunther's bedroom?

‐ Actually, I ran 12 different
businesses out of that room.

They failed miserably,
but still, I did it.

‐ No. Bay Arean is the last
Black‐owned business

in that area.

If I leave,
they're going to replace it

with some Pilates studio
for dogs or some sh*t.

How am I gonna pull $15,000
out of my ass

before Saturday morning?
‐ Ooh, you could, um‐‐

‐ Whatever
you're gonna say, no.

‐ Okay, and hear me out,
maybe I could go to Laura.

‐ No, thank you. I don't want
to be owned by Laura.

‐ Ha ha. sh*ts fired.
‐ Oh, that was nice.

‐ Pow, pow, pow.
‐ Okay, um, first of all,

Laura doesn't own me.

Nobody owns me.

She's an equity investor in me.

I could explain the difference
to you if you'd like.

‐ No, thank you.

‐ You're a small business,
right?

Why don't you take out a loan
from the bank or, like,

I don't know, just call
your parents, ask for money.

‐ What the f*ck you just say?

‐ Sorry.
Let me start that again.

Okay, so you're a Black person
in a financial bind, right?

And you need to pay rent.

What do you do?

‐ Go into poverty.
‐ Feature on a Drake mixtape.

‐ During
the Harlem Renaissance,

they had rent parties...

which I guess is a thing
that I could do.

‐ That's a good idea.
You actually could.

‐ Or you could feature on
a Drake mixtape, like I said.

‐ I love how excited you are
for the idea.

I am as well.
What is that, though?

‐ I'll have a rent party.

I just have to send
the e‐vites,

go to the liquor store.

If I set up by the door,

I can DJ and bartend
at the same time.

‐ Or we could just help you.

‐ Thanks, but, no, thanks.

Whenever I have people help me,

they usually f*ck it up
somehow,

and then I have to redo it
anyway.

‐ Girl, would you just let us
help you?

‐ I'm good, thanks. I‐‐
‐ But you're not, though.

Clearly you can't
help yourself.

‐ Hello.

‐ Okay, you can help.

‐ Nice.
I can make balloon animals.

‐ Since the launch
of the Keef Knight Project,

we've successfully distributed
over 1,00 pairs of shoes

to the unhoused population
across San Francisco.

‐ And we're very excited
to announce

that we will be launching
in Oakland as well.

‐ Laura, that information's not
supposed to be made public yet.

‐

‐ Oh, well, you just got
yourself an exclusive.

‐ All right,
excited to break some news.

The story should be up
on Monday.

‐ Thank you so much, Catherine.

Well played.
‐ You like that, huh?

"Laura, I'm so mad at you‐‐
you told the reporter

everything we wanted her
to know."

‐ You are a natural.
‐ Yeah.

‐ You know, this press tour's
going even better

than I expected.

And I've got a surprise
for you.

Do you know that show
Who's Your Kin?

with Darque Noir?

‐ You mean the KQED show
where they reveal

the genealogy of celebrities?

Yeah, I fall asleep to it
every single night.

‐ Well, the CFO of SunLink has
a brother who works there.

I've pulled some strings,

and you are gonna be
on the next episode.

‐ Oh, my God, are you serious?
‐ Yeah.

‐ You know I've always dreamt
of being on that show, right?

I mean, partly because
I fall asleep to it

every single night,
but also family legend has it

one of my great‐grandfathers
led a sl*ve rebellion.

‐ Well, that's gonna be great
for your brand.

‐ Yeah, it is. It is. It is.
This is exciting.

When does it sh**t?
‐ Tomorrow night.

‐ Here's the address.

‐ Tomorrow night.
Uh...

Ooh.

Um, look, is there any way
we could reschedule?

‐ This is a special episode
featuring Bay Area activists

and it is gonna be you
and the Luna Johnson.

‐ Luna‐‐Wait.
Luna and myself together?

‐ That's right. The Beyoncé of
poet‐scholar‐activists and you.

It's gonna be huge.

‐ Ah, f*ck.
I ca‐‐I can't do it.

I can't‐‐I'm sorry. I‐I really
want to do it, trust me.

Believe me, I do.
It's just that Ayana's throwing

a fundraiser
for the Bay Arean.

They're being evicted
from their offices,

and I promised her
that I would help.

‐ I'm never gonna say

that you can't be there
for your friends,

but this is
a really big opportunity.

It's not just another interview
with some online zine.

I mean, this is Luna Johnson.

But you know what?
It's‐‐it's up to you.

‐ I‐‐
I know. I know.

Oh, wow.

♪ ♪

‐ "You know we got style.
You know we got class.

Give us your money,
or we'll jump your ass."

That's probably
too threatening.

‐ Hey, hey, Ayana.

‐ Oh, Keef, what do you think
about this?

"The music is bumpin',
so come through and kick it.

Party with us
so we don't get evicted."

‐ You taking Clovis's advice
and dropping a mixtape?

‐ No, I'm just‐‐

I'm having fun writing the
rent party invites. I just‐‐

‐ Right.
I really want to lean

into the Harlem Renaissance
theme,

'cause I feel like my readers
will love that.

‐ Yeah, if I‐‐if I know your
readers, they would.

‐ Oh, do you think you could do
a live drawing during the party

and we can auction them off
at the end?

‐ Oh, yeah‐‐yeah, well...

That's a great idea.
‐ Yeah, right?

‐ How about this‐‐
how about I just give you

original Bay Arean drawings
instead?

‐ That is a really good idea.

Yeah, I‐I really want
to highlight the history

of the Bay Arean,
and you're a part of that.

‐ Yeah, because, you know,
I have to‐‐

It's just, um...

Yeah, it's just, you know‐‐

‐ Keef, I'm actually kind of
busy‐‐can you just say it?

‐ Definitely coming
to the party...

In spirit.

It's just that I can't
actually make it to the party

physically, like, in person.

‐ Oh.
‐ Something came up last minute

with The Keef Knight Project,

and, uh, look,
I tried to reschedule.

I really did.
‐ It's fine.

It's not a problem. You have
more important things to do.

‐ I mean, I don't know
if it's more important,

but it's‐‐it's definitely
pretty cool.

So Laura got me a slot

on Who's your Kin?
with Darque Noir.

‐ Wow.
‐ Thank you.

‐ Uh, well, I have less than
24 hours to plan this party,

so just send the pictures
with Clovis.

‐ Okay.

Will do.

♪ ♪

‐ Okay, so I talked
to my producer friend‐‐

‐ Mm‐hmm?

‐ Luna is gonna be
the first guest.

‐ That's bad, right?

That's like Barack going on
after Michelle.

‐ Luna is gonna be
onstage next to you

during your entire segment.

It'll be good for people
to see you two together.

Now, can you cry?
‐ Hmm?

‐ Y‐you got to cry.

Like, everyone cries
on this show.

‐ Oh, yeah, I‐I was gonna
watch the scene

from Boyz n the Hood where
Ricky gets sh*t in his back.

It's a very sad‐‐

‐ Oh, crap.
That's the SunLink guys.

I got to take this,
but I will be right back.

And don't eat. You don't want
sh*t in your teeth.

‐ Oh.
‐ You'll be great.

‐ Oh, Darque Noir, you know,
I didn't‐‐

I always knew I was a king
on the inside.

‐

‐ Oh, my God.

It's you. It's Luna Johnson.

So nice to finally meet you.
I'm Keef Knight.

‐ I'm familiar with your work.

‐ Oh, okay.

Cool. Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, look at us‐‐
just two dope artists

changing the landscape
of social justice‐‐

‐ I'm sorry,
I can't talk right now.

It's important for me
to hum my mantra

before public appearances
to cleanse my chakras.

‐ I was gonna watch the scene
from Boyz n the Hood

where Ricky is running
and then he gets sh*t.

Yeah, I got to get a mantra.

♪ ♪

I wanted to buy
all of tonight's supplies

from a Black‐owned
liquor store,

but I couldn't find
one of those,

so, um, I just kind bought
Black alcohols instead.

Like, uh, Hennessy,
Rémy Martin, CIROC.

I got Earl Stevens E‐40
Mangoscato,

which is very good.

I already drank a bottle.

‐ Bro, that is stereotypical
as f*ck, man.

And correct.

Let your boy get a sh*t
of the Henn.

‐ Okay, yeah, for sure.
As soon as the bar opens.

We're closed, sir.

‐ m*therf*cker, you're standing
right here.

‐ I'm sorry, do you have
a drink ticket, sir?

Do I need to have security
escort you?

Wow. Hey.
What's up, Josephine Baker?

Emphasis on the "bae."

‐ Oh, thank you.
I wanted to go all out.

So what else needs to be done?

‐ Uh, no. I told you
we were gonna handle it,

and we are.

All you need to do is sit back,
look fly,

and collect your loot.

‐ Okay, okay.

Oh, did Keef give you
his auction art?

‐ Wait, what? What, uh‐‐
what auction art?

‐ Oh, yeah.
I never know what's happening.

‐ Wow, Keef.

Um...it's fine.

He's not gonna
ruin this for me.

I am pumped for tonight.

We are saving
a Black‐owned space.

We are going to shake our
asses down a Soul Train line.

And we're gonna be surrounded
by my readers.

Let 'em in, Clovis.

‐ All right. I tell you what,

your readers are punctual
as f*ck.

‐ Yeah.
Let's get the party started.

Hey.

Wow, really putting the Aryan
into the Bay Arean.

‐ Who the f*ck
are these people?

♪ ♪

‐ I said 1920s Harlem,
not 2020s Harlem.

How did my party
get so gentrified?

‐ Keef did post about it
on his socials,

but he was just trying
to help, though.

‐ That's what that is.
These are Keef's people.

And my people are forced
to the corner.

Okay, you know what?

The Keef club is not gonna take
over this party

before my actual readers
get here.

Help me with the desk.
‐ Whoa, whoa. Slow down.

Slow down. I ain't finna
f*ck up my suit, now.

This that bespoke sh*t.

‐ I helped you pick that out
at Men's Warehouse.

‐ Don't put my business
out on the streets.

Chill. Damn.

‐ I've always felt
like a sacred vessel

for the ancestors.

I've even heard their gentle
whispers in the womb.

‐ Gentle whispers
are the most powerful.

Luna Johnson‐‐
poet, activist, inspiration,

and, as we've just heard,
direct descendant

of the great
Zora Neale Hurston.

‐
If he tells me I'm related

to Frederick Douglass,
I'm gonna lose my sh*t.

‐
Just don't forget to cry.

And give us some of that
Viola Davis snot if you can.

‐ Joining us now, Bay Area
cartoonist‐turned‐activist

Mr. Keef Knight.

Welcome, Keef.

‐ Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.

♪ ♪

Thanks for having me. I just
want to say it's an honor.

And it's good to see you again,
Darque Noir.

‐ I've never met this man
before in my life.

‐ What?

‐ Our team of genealogists
were able to trace your family

back six generations.

How much do you know
about your ancestry, Keef?

‐ Well, like
most Black Americans,

my family's history
was violently erased

by the Atlantic sl*ve trade.

Like young Luna here, I, too,
feel the power of my ancestors

coursing through me, uh,
by way of my activism.

‐ I'm sure you do.

And how would it make you feel,
Keef, if I told you

that unlike most
African Americans,

your ancestors were emancipated
long before the Civil w*r?

‐
You mean we were‐‐

we were free?

‐ Yes, Keef.

‐ You come from a long line
of jigaboos, sambos, minstrels,

and Uncle Toms.

‐ I'm sorry, what?

‐ We'll be right back
with Who's Your Kin?

with me, Darque Noir.

♪ ♪

Over here.

Welcome to the real party.

Oh, great.
Yes, yes.

♪ ♪

‐ Hey, um,
how do I get in the VIP?

‐ Oh, sorry,
the list is closed.

‐ Oh, I see what this is.

It's 'cause I'm white,
isn't it?

‐ I never said that.
‐ That is so smart.

Reverse racism totally
goes with the theme.

‐ Reverse racism doesn't exist.

And if you read my paper,
you would know that.

‐ Oh, that's not what I‐‐
um, uh, meant.

♪ ♪

‐ What year did redlining
end in San Francisco?

Oh, you don't know?
Yeah, that's what I thought.

‐ Ayana, what are you doing?

‐ Excuse me, everyone.

We're gonna play a little game.

If you want to order a drink
at the bar,

you're gonna have to answer
a series of questions

regarding the history
of Black San Francisco.

This is a literacy test‐‐

kind of like what Black people
had to do

when they wanted to vote
during Jim Crow.

I'm gonna write you
some questions.

‐ Fun. Fun.
‐ What the f*ck are you doing?

You ain't gonna make no money
doing that sh*t.

‐ If they're my real readers,
they'll know the answers.

And I know they're not.

They're Keef's followers,
and I don't want their money.

‐ So you're about to block your
bag at your own fundraiser

over some g*dd*mn principles?

‐ My principles
is all I have left.

‐ That's because you're not
taking their money!

In three, two...

‐ Welcome back
to Who's Your Kin?

with me, Darque Noir.

Well, Keef,
these documents prove

that your
great‐great‐great‐grandfather

owned five slaves.

‐ Oh, see, uh‐‐

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, so, ba‐‐uh, back
in the day, there was‐‐

it was a very common practice
for‐‐

For, uh, free Black people

to, uh, buy slaves on paper.

They would purchase
family members

in an effort to protect them.

You understand? It was a, um‐‐
it was a revolutionary act.

‐ Very true.
But not for your family.

He was given those slaves
for being the first n*gro

to serve on a sl*ve patrol‐‐

the earliest version
of today's police.

‐ Jesus Christ. Make this stop.

‐ Moving on. Your four‐times
great‐grandfather

led a rebellion
that resulted in 50 slaves

k*lling their master
and fleeing the plantation.

‐ Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

This is the‐‐
this is the great‐grandfather

that I'm very familiar with.

Let's just spend the rest of
the segment talking about him.

‐ Okay. He then turned in
most of those slaves

to a richer white master
for profit

but kept several for himself
for his own sexual amusement.

Wow.
He looks just like you.

‐ I don't‐‐I‐I don't
see the resemblance to be‐‐

No. Doesn't look anything
like me.

Can we just stop?

‐ Oh, but your terrible family
history doesn't end there.

Your great‐great‐great‐uncle

reported Harriet Tubman
to a sl*ve patrol.

‐ No.

‐ But don't worry.
She did sh**t him.

‐ Are you crying?

‐ I just feel
emotionally affected

by all the pain
your family caused.

‐ When we return,

we'll learn how Keef's
great‐great‐grandfather

left his Black wife

for the plantation owner's
white daughter.

Stay tuned for more
Who's Your Kin?

with me, Darque Noir.

And we're out.

‐ A‐any way I could‐‐

I have to go use the bathroom.

‐ I don't think
he's coming back.

‐ There is no coming back
from that.

♪ ♪

‐ Why do Keef's people
have drinks?

‐ I asked them your questions,
and they had answers.

‐ That doesn't make any sense.

Okay, cut the music!

Okay, listen up.

When I said
"Harlem Renaissance party,"

I meant the beginning
of the Harlem Renaissance,

not the end,
when our culture got stolen.

This ain't the m*therf*cking
Cotton Club.

This part is
for Bay Arean readers only.

Don't cheer at that,
I'm being serious.

I threw this for my people.

If you don't read
the Bay Arean,

get the f*ck out.
Get the f*ck out!

‐ Oh, f*ck.

♪ ♪

I think these might actually
be my people.

‐ Hey, um,
I don't really read your sh*t,

so that mean I got to go?

‐

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

‐ Uh‐huh.

‐ What are you doing here?

‐ I got to the studio,
then I realized that, uh,

you're way more important to me
than some stupid‐ass TV show.

So I left. Darque Noir
can go and use

their janky‐ass 23andMe
on some other activist,

'cause it's not for me.

♪ ♪

You okay?

And I brought some
of that artwork I promised you.

Sorry it's late.

‐ It's fine.
You can put it over there

by all the white people.

‐ Yeah, it does look like
an Arcade Fire concert in here.

‐ Yeah, I know.

I spent the whole night

thinking that they were
your white people.

But they're my white people.

What does that say
about my politics

that this is who gravitates
to the Bay Arean?

‐ We're in San Francisco, okay?

There's, like, seven Black
people left in the entire city.

And I do believe‐‐
yeah, they're all here.

‐ Like, why am I even fighting
to stay in the Bay?

I should just move
like the rest of my staff.

‐ No, you can't leave,

because you're the last Black
woman in San Francisco.

And with all due respect
to the Harlem Renaissance,

our work is not about the past.

It's about our vision
for the future.

f*ck history.

‐ No offense, but there's
a reason why I'm the one

who usually gives advice.

"f*ck history"?
What's that even mean?

‐ Do you think the Bay Arean

is still challenging
the status quo?

‐ Yes, of course.
‐ That's all that matters.

You can't let stuff
you can't control define you.

Who cares if one
of your readers' ancestors

owned a sl*ve or two?

‐ What did you learn
on that show?

‐ Huh? Oh, nothing.

I didn't‐‐no‐‐I didn't‐‐
I didn't even sh**t it.

Look, don't change the subject.
This is about you, okay? So...

And you know I'm right.

‐ Fine. You're right.
Don't let it go to your head.

‐ It's too late.

‐ Oh‐ho‐ho‐ho‐ho.

Check out this fat stack.

I counted all the cash,
the Venmo,

the Bitcoin, Cash App,

and we made $22,473.

Actually, I gave 2 bucks
of my own money

to round it up‐‐475.

‐ Holy sh*t.

‐ Yeah, it's crazy, right?
‐ We made more than our goal.

‐ Wow, I really thought
I blew it.

‐ Yeah, yeah. Well, almost.

But I just stopped doing
the literacy questions

and kind of just started
charging white people,

like, triple for drinks.

‐ I don't think
you can do that.

‐ Yeah, that might be illegal.

‐ I just told them
it was reparations,

and they were, like,
weirdly into it.

‐ Well, thank you for tonight.
‐

‐ I know I can be an assh*le
who sucks at asking for help,

but y'all really came through.

And now I want to dance.
‐ Okay.

‐ Clovis.

‐ sh*t.

I'm gonna‐‐
I'm gonna grab a drink.

‐ Okay.
‐ Okay.

♪ ♪

‐ Boo, bitch! Look who it is.

Keef "Triflin' Ass" Knight.
‐ Hey, God damn!

There's some
butt‐ugly truths revealed

on that Darque Noir show.

‐ I'm not responsible
for what my ancestors did.

‐ "I'm not
responsible for my ancestors."

‐ Damn.
‐ That's the whitest sh*t

I've heard all day.

‐ But you're responsible
for what you do.

But all your ashy behind do
is run away.

Mm‐hmm.

Speechless
at the protest. Run away.

‐ Right?
‐ Friends need help. Run away.

‐ World record 40‐yard dash,
y'all.

‐ Getting bashed
on national television,

run the f*ck away.

‐ What are you gon' do
when Ayana finds out

you lied to her?
‐ Mm. Yeah.

Tellin' her you
didn't even sh**t the episode.

That's trouble.
You made that.

‐ Ayana can never find out.
No one can.

‐ sh*t.
They all gonna find out.

That's right.
Trust me on that.

You better
keep running, Keef.

At least it's good cardio.

‐ Run, m*therf*cker, run!

‐
‐ Bitch‐ass!

♪ ♪

‐ Keef, what the f*ck?
Where are you?

‐ It doesn't matter.
‐ It doesn't matter?

Do you know the clusterfuck
that you made by leaving here?

Darque Noir ripped you a new
one after the commercial.

When this airs, you're gonna
look so unprofessional.

‐ No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

No, no, no, no, no.
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

It can never air, okay?
No one will ever see it.

Do you know why? Because you're
gonna get the episode pulled.

‐ You're not Ben Affleck, okay?

You don't have that kind
of power.

‐ Don't do that.
This is your fault.

You're the only reason
why I was

on that dumb‐ass show
to begin with.

You used your contacts
to get me on.

Use those same people to get
the episode pulled, okay?

That's what you do, right?

‐ Keef, we're supposed to be
partners.

‐ Just call me when it's done.

Hey, hey.
What's going on, folks?

‐ Okay. Next. Next.

I'm ridin' my pony.

Ridin' my pony,
and I'm droppin' it down.

Coming to you live from
right outside the Bay Arean.

Been here all night,
all night working overtime,

raising a bunch‐‐

Whoo!

Hey, where's Keef?

‐ I guess he's with his people.

His people?

♪ ♪

‐ We're gonna save
the paper, y'all.

It's very, very important.

You got to have
solid friends...

like me.

I would never give up
on my friends.

♪ ♪

♪ Carlo and Carmen Vidal ♪

♪ Just had a child ♪

♪ A lovely girl
with a crooked smile ♪

♪ Now they got to split
'cause the Bronx ain't fit ♪

♪ For a kid to grow up in ♪

♪ "Let's find a place,"
they say ♪

♪ Somewhere far away ♪

♪ With no Blacks, no Jews,
and no gays ♪

♪ But for the grace
of God, there go I ♪

♪ ♪

♪ There but for the grace
of God, there go I ♪

♪ I, I, I, I, I, I ♪

♪ Papi and the family ♪

♪ Left the dirty streets ♪

♪ To find a quiet place
overseas ♪

♪ And year after year,
the kid has to hear ♪