02x06 - Black Exceptionalism

[bunniefuu]

How's your water, huh?
It's good.

Good, do you want some ice?

I'm okay.
Okay.

Let me tell you a story.
W. Kamau Bell.

You know him?
You heard of him?

‐ I do know who he is, yes.

‐ You know, I saw him
trying out new material

at the Powell Street
cable car turnaround.

Now‐‐now he has his own show
on CNN.

Hmm?
‐ Wow, that's amazing.

And you did that for him?

‐ Boots Riley, you know him?

‐ Again, I don't know him
personally.

‐ I'm Sorry to Bother You
was a series of vines

before I saw him
on a BART train platform.

Now‐‐now he's up
for a Marvel movie.

‐ Wow, I don't know if I want
to do any Marvel movies, but‐‐

‐ You do seem more like
a Star Wars guy, right?

‐ I am a Star Wars guy.

‐ That's
what I'm talking about.

See, I get you, Keef Knight.

‐ Okay,
here's what I'm looking for.

Obviously, you know
that the Keef Knight Project

is expanding, and, um,
what‐‐what I can't afford

is another, uh,
surprise incident

like what happened
on Darque Noire's show.

‐ Oh, my God.

Horrible.

Listen, I love Laura,

but she's no publicist.

You, you, my friend,
need a publicist.

I mean, you have Luna Johnson
in the same room.

You don't leave your Uncle Tom
ancestors up to chance.

Am I right?
‐ Right.

Well, luckily, she was able to
get the episode pulled, so...

‐ No, Keef.

Luckily, you hired me,
and I'm a f*cking pro.

Denny has big plans for you.

Do you‐‐do you want
to be bulletproof?

‐ I think all Black folks
would like to be bulletproof.

‐ Do you want access to power?

The mayor, Chamber of Commerce,
I don't know, Oprah?

‐ You can get me Oprah?
‐ I mean, one step at a time.

First‐‐first, I think we have
to take control

of the narrative.
‐ Yeah.

‐ I have a plan to show
the world

the humble, strong
public servant you already are.

‐ Wow.

Wow.
Yeah.

‐ You can get me access
to Oprah?

‐ Ooh, yes,
capturing the Nike Air

in its natural habitat.

‐
I like that, I like that.

Is that from the, uh,
Aunt Jemima collection?

What the f*ck?
‐ "You are cordially invited

"to a gala awards dinner
to honor Keef Knight

for achievements
in Black exceptionalism."

‐ Presented
by the Keef Knight Project.

So let me get this right.

Keef Knight is giving
Keef Knight an award?

For being
exceptionally Black.

Okay, yes.

And I'm not one to make excuses
for our friends,

but, you know, he is Black.

You do have to give
that one to him.

‐ Eeeh...

‐ And sometimes
he's exceptional.

‐ Mm.

‐ No? Well...

free dinner, right?

♪ ♪

♪ Movin' 'cause I think
this band is groovin' ♪

♪ Don't take much for us
to get you all to groovin' ♪

♪ There‐‐there‐‐there‐‐
there you go ♪

‐ Oh, wow.

Oh, it's fancy.

It's way too many
Black people for Keef.

Damn, bro.

They got your big‐head ass
all up and through here.

You look like a fake‐ass
Malcolm X right there.

‐ More like Malcolm Y.

‐ Yeah, I'm weirded out
by this type of stuff, too,

you know, but I have to do it,
I have to do it.

This is the‐‐it's
the gala circuit, you know‐‐

big money, big money.

Chamber of Commerce, the mayor.

‐ Oh, so you did all of this

to get the attention
of the mayor?

That's‐‐that's cool.

‐ Oh, sh*t!
There's another Keef.

‐ That's you
if you had a growth spurt

and a gym membership.
‐ Hey, get a photo, you guys.

And, um...
I'll catch you inside.

Yeah, I'm so happy you guys
are here‐‐thanks for coming.

I really appreciate
the support.

‐ What's he doing?

‐ I think
he's getting stressed out.

‐ He scurried up
out of there, didn't he?

‐ What is the Wi‐Fi password?

And you're gonna tell me‐‐
Excuse me, one‐‐

Hey!
‐ Hey.

‐ Ooh, hey, hey.
‐ Hey.

Hey, listen to me.
There he is.

‐ When Mayor Breed gets here

can you have her seated
at my table?

‐ Let's just slow our roll
really fast.

Okay, tonight
will get you access.

But first,
you're gonna love me.

Do you want to sit down?
You should sit down.

No, no, I'm okay.
I'm okay standing right here.

That's fine.
Listen, I got

Luna Johnson to present
your Exceptionally Black Award.

‐ Luna? Really?
‐ Yes, I did!

‐ Oh, my God, I'm shocked she
still wants to be seen with me.

You know?
‐ It's‐‐it's a conversation.

But she owes me a favor.

Listen, she's ten,
she's beloved.

If you get a picture
of you two on the front page

of "The Chronicle" tomorrow,

you will have access
to whoever you want.

Mayor Breed?
‐ Mm‐hmm.

‐ She'll be calling you.
Now can you relax?

Right, have a drink, right?

Here, not too many.

Enjoy.
‐ This is a lot.

Sir, what is this?

‐ What makes you think
I want to sit up here

with your big‐ass head instead
of back there with the crew?

‐ Well, tonight
is about telling my story,

and you hired me
at "The Bay Arean"

when I was at my lowest point,

so I wouldn't be here
without you.

‐ You're right. You wouldn't.
‐ So humble.

Hello.

♪ ♪

‐ Okay, I see what this is.

‐ Love, love, love this group.

Listen, I need you
to take a photo

with the Jesus of the Nazarene
African Episcopal Church Choir

from Oakland before they go
on stage, okay?

Right now, right now, because
if they have a few drinks

they get a bit handsy, and we
don't want that, you know?

You didn't hear
that from me.

Right.

Look, I'm gonna go
and, uh, you know,

do my thing a little bit,
but, um...

look, you both are a part
of my story, okay?

And I think we could make
an excellent team.

But first, we have to look
outside of ourselves.

♪ ♪

Look, you both find me
annoying,

so maybe y'all can talk
about that and then...

bond or‐‐
Okay.

‐ We're gonna need some wine.
‐ Definitely.

We got another tray coming.

‐ You know what?

I'ma call it.

This some bullshit, man.

This m*therf*cker Keef got us
in the nosebleed section.

See, this the sh*t that happen
when you not plugged.

‐ It's just like everything is
so corporate, you know?

The...bone china,

the name tags, the tablecloth.

It just is not Keef, right?

I need a minute.

I'll be back.

Oh, even the wine tastes
corporate.

‐ Yes, here we go.

Look, I DJ'd
a sneaker drop here once.

The food is hella b*mb.
‐ Okay, okay.

‐ Hey!

‐
God damn.

You know what?

That food ain't gonna never get
back here, baby.

That's it.

We moving.

‐ But it's assigned seating.

Clovis,
I don't want to make a fuss.

I'm‐‐I'm good.
‐ Girl, f*ck a fuss.

My girl want tasty morsels,

my girl gonna get
some tasty morsels.

Now, you know I might have
to revert back

to some of that old
Clovis‐type sh*t.

‐ Do whatever
you got to do, then.

‐ Okay.

Thank you.

Take it easy.

♪ ♪

Okay, maybe I didn't need
to put the picture

on the banner.

That's a lot.
That is maybe too much.

‐
Keef, don't start bitchin'

up and getting insecure
on me now, bruv.

Tonight is yours.

You're fit, so be about it.

‐ Yeah, I guess.

‐ No guessing.

You're not some sellout
like your DNA says.

You're a f*cking activist
with a capital A.

‐ I know what I am. Stop it.

‐ And after we get
that picture with Luna,

you'll be boomin' up
in the world.

So be tall, Keef, like me.

♪ ♪

Yeah, there you go.

That's pure sex right there.

‐
Stop.

‐ Wait,
do I want to shag myself?

Come here.
Let me tug you off.

‐ Really, man?

‐ You know I'm good at it.

‐ Shut the f‐‐

♪ ♪

Dear God,
don't let the door close!

‐ What?

‐ f*ck!

Gah!

We're locked in.

I've tried every floor.

I've been stuck in here
for over an hour.

Stairwell must be
some sort of dead zone.

Can't get a signal.

‐ I am so okay with that.

‐ So do you think
you will be having

the Fettuccini Al Sharpton

or the Chicken à la Gayle King?

‐ It does not say that.
‐ Oh, it does.

‐ With a side of Okra Winfrey.

Wow, look at Gayle King moving
on up to the main course.

‐
‐ You know,

I assumed that you were
behind this thing.

‐ Nope, this was all Keef
and his new publicist.

I actually don't really like
these kinds of events.

Organizations giving
out fake awards to get press.

I mean, don't get me wrong,
I understand why they do it,

but it's not my style.

‐ I hear that, but, uh,
SunLink is a sponsor.

And isn't that you?

‐ Well, it's not my style,

but as an investor
and board member,

I know an opportunity
when I see one.

‐ Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Sorry I've been, uh,
gone for so long.

Denny has me working the room,

taking pictures
with all the whales.

That would be
the big‐money guys.

‐ Bitch, I know
what a whale is.

‐ Keef! Listen, hey, listen.

Hey, beautiful‐‐
Sounds good!

I need to talk to you.

‐ Okay, uh, that's
Aggressive way to...

I'll be right back.

♪ ♪

‐ Uh, listen, bad news‐‐

um, Luna's event
is running a little long,

so she's not coming, yeah.

‐ What‐‐what‐‐what‐‐
what other event?

‐ Her 11th birthday party.
‐

‐ She said‐‐she said she was
gonna leave it early for us,

but her little crush
showed up, so...

‐ Are you serious?
Mm, yes.

‐ You know how much money
I spent on this sh*t?

Okay, this‐‐this can't be
for nothing, all right?

Hey, look, look,
I need Luna here.

And I need that picture.

‐ Yes, yes, I understand.
Relax, I got a plan.

There's a plan.
‐ You got a plan?

Okay, you got a plan.
What's the plan?

‐ You‐‐
I‐I'll be right back.

‐ You want me to wait here?

Mmm, strawberries.

Mmm, all right.

Baby?
Hmm?

‐ I ain't really even
no salad dude like that.

This sh*t banging.

‐ Excuse me,
Dr. Nicklaus Haus?

‐ That is me.

Guilty as charged.

‐ My name is Dawn Turner.

I read your book.
I think it's sublime.

I have so many questions.

‐ Wow, Dawn has so many quest‐‐
She read my book.

‐ Mm.
‐ Well, sh**t, Dawn.

You know, let's do this.

‐ So let me get this straight.

You're saying that you
graduated summa cum laude.

You got into Hastings Law.

And you turned it down?

‐ Yeah.

‐ Your parents must be
so disappointed.

‐ Well, I came out
when I was nine,

so they're kind of open
to anything.

‐

‐ f*ck!

Luna's not coming.

She was supposed to be here,
but now she's not coming.

This night is f*cked up!

Any of you two know
any famous Black activists

that could be here in, like,
uh, like, less than an hour?

‐ Well, maybe Stacey Dash is
available.

I think she needs a job.

‐ That is not helpful,
and you know it.

‐ Yeah, and for what
it's worth, I did meet

Candace Owens
at a conference once.

‐ Thanks‐‐thanks for nothing.

Oh, and for what it's worth,
I am so, so glad

you two are getting along.

Like, I really mean that.

‐ Well...

at least it's not us.

‐ Okay.

‐ Dude, how are you not
freaking out right now?

‐ You know, Ronald,

beyond this stairwell, there is
a world of chaos and anxiety.

And I've been trying to figure
out my place in this world,

like, a lot, a lot lately.

And then tonight
I just got to thinking.

The people that I look up to,

they might be just as lost
as I am.

♪ ♪

Yeah, go ahead
and find yourself.

‐ No, no!

You listen.

I cannot be fighting with you
while I'm at work, Marshall!

Hello?

Hello?

‐ Hello.

♪ ♪

Welcome.

♪ ♪

‐ Huh.

Oh, okay, here we go.

"Rumor has it Luna Johnson"...

No, stupid, stupid.

What the f*ck am I doing?
I'm a grown‐ass man.

Delete.

♪ ♪

What?

No.

f*ck! sh*t!

Denny.

‐ Hey, hey, are you okay?
‐ Yeah, yeah, I just want to‐‐

‐ Just one second,
I'm so sorry.

All right. Everything okay?
‐ Just one second.

‐ You seem a little stressed.
What's up?

‐ People are destroying me
right now.

‐ What?
‐ All over my timeline.

It's really, really bad.

Look at this.
Uh, here's one.

"Black Exceptionalism?
Someone's overcompensating."

Like, who writes this stuff?
‐

That's me!
Yes, yep, TupacsStillAlive141.

‐ That's you?
Why would you do that?

‐ Come on, embrace it‐‐everyone
knows the driving force

of social media is controversy
and hate.

‐ You know what you just did?

You just started an avalanche,
my friend.

‐ That's what I'm hoping.
‐ No, it's bad!

Look at this, look at this.

Uh, "The Keef Knight Project
is on some Illuminati sh*t.

There's 5G in the shoes."

5G in the shoes,
what the f*ck does that mean?

‐ Oh, my God, Oh, my God.
This is brilliant.

Yes, because SunLink
is your sponsor!

Oh, my God, move over,
Pizzagate.

Well, obviously‐‐obviously,
Pizzagate was a tragedy.

But they moved a f*ck‐ton
of pizza.

If we're being honest,

the most fulfilling aspect

of my book is gonna have
to be...

chapter 15 for me, Dawn.

‐ I'm a bit embarrassed.

The edition I have
only has ten chapters.

‐ Because you reading
my old sh*t, Dawn.

You got to cop my new sh*t.

‐ I‐I definitely will.
‐ Okay.

So, Mrs. Haus,

are‐‐are you also a doctor?

‐ Oh, I'm‐‐I'm not his wife.

I'm his mistress.

♪ ♪

‐ Oh!

Dr. Haus, I'm assuming, right?

Yo, my boy,
this lady right here‐‐

she love your sh*t man.
Loves it.

You got to write
chapter 15, too.

Keep doing you, bro.

‐

That was so much fun.

I've never been
someone's mistress before.

When you're poly,
everyone's your partner.

‐ Mm‐hmm.

‐ I want to do it again.

♪ ♪

‐ "Keef Knight
is poisoning the unhoused

by putting 5G in the shoes."

This is ridiculous.

♪ ♪

Oh, my God, she came.
She's here.

‐ Keef, Keef,
what the f*ck was that?

You posted about Luna
on social media?

‐ Yeah, just for a little bit,
then I deleted it.

‐ Well, your stubby
little fingers

didn't do it fast enough, okay?
Luna's people saw it.

I don't know how to be more
clear about this, but, um,

you do not publicly pressure
another activist

on social media.

That is a faux pas.

That's French
for "You're f*cking yourself."

‐ Okay, I don't understand.
She's here.

‐ Yes, 'cause I told you
I was gonna handle it.

And I handled it.

Yeah, I got other people
involved.

They had to do
a whole whisper campaign

to get this little romance
fast‐tracked.

‐ Well, I mean, if that's not
the cutest sh*t I've ever seen.

‐ It's a f*ckin' Disney movie,
isn't it, right?

But because of your post,

Luna's people are saying
she is not going onstage.

‐ What?

‐ That means no photo,
no endorsement.

‐ Okay, what do we do?
How do we fix this?

You're the publicist.

They requested

that you make a little donation
to her foundation.

‐ How little we talking?

‐ $20,000.
‐ $20,000?

What the f*ck
are you talking about?

$20,000?
‐ Smile.

‐ I put all of my money
into this.

And then the rest was supposed
to go to help the people

in the East Bay.

‐ I know, Keef.
Do you want the photo or not?

‐ Getting shaken down
by a g*dd*mn ten‐year‐old‐‐

this is ridiculous.
Yeah.

Okay, okay,
screw it, you know?

Already spent the money.
Already gone this far.

Whatever we've got to do
to get that photo,

we're gonna do it.

‐ One big need
with the unhoused community

is predictability.

And one of my goals
with "The Bay Arean"

is to create a system
that provides

predictable working
opportunities for them.

‐ Okay, I'm just gonna throw
this out there.

I have a friend in the city
administrator's office

who is trying to fill
a community‐outreach position.

I could make an introduction.
I mean, you would be a natural.

‐ Thank you,
but I'm not interested.

Politics isn't really my thing.

‐ Oh, totally understood.

I hope I didn't come across
as too pushy.

‐ Yeah, just a tad, but...

takes a pushy bitch
to know a pushy bitch.

‐

You know, Ayana,
I really do admire your work.

And when Denny told me that...

Keef is leaving
"The Bay Arean,"

I just know
that you've been struggling,

and I just thought you might be
looking to do something else.

And you did not know that.

Oh, my God,
I am‐‐I am so sorry.

I‐I should not have been
the person to tell you that.

‐ It's fine.

It's fine. Um...

can you excuse me for a moment?
‐ Yeah.

♪ ♪

sh*t.

Oh, my goodness.
Luna, thank you.

Thank you so much for being
here‐‐I really appreciate it.

Um, you know, we haven't
seen each other since‐‐

‐ Um, I was asked
to sign an NDA,

so I don't think we ever met.

‐ Oh, oh.
‐ Hey.

I came to let you know
that I'm leaving

because I don't like doing
things that affect other people

without letting them know.
‐ Okay.

‐ I really admire you and have
always wanted to meet you,

but, unfortunately,
this is not a good time for me.

♪ ♪

‐ I'm, uh...

♪ ♪

‐ Ayana.

Ayana.

♪ ♪

What's going on?
You get into a fight with Lara?

‐ Why didn't you tell me
you're pulling the strip?

‐ Oh, sh*t.
Oh, uh...

What?
No, that's not even, uh...

it's not even official
or anything like that.

I just, um‐‐Denny thought
it would be a good idea

if I had some of my stuff come
out under my own umbrella.

‐ You should really stop

blaming other people
for your decisions.

‐ I'm not! I'm just, uh...

‐ You're just...
too exceptional?

‐ You know what?
What did you want me to do?

You want me to stay struggling
just 'cause you are?

‐ Wow.

You know what?

f*ck you.
‐ f*ck me?

‐ Yes.
‐ Why?

Is it because you're mad
that I'm actually out

in the world doing stuff,
while you're, I don't know,

writing about it?
‐ Are you kidding me?

What happened to "I wouldn't
be here without you"?

‐ Well, I wouldn't.

I get it, I would not be here
without you.

But for how long?

How long am I supposed
to stay there?

Forever?

I stayed with "The Bay Arean"
this long out of loyalty.

‐ Loyalty?
Yeah.

‐ Okay, well, then where have
the last strips been?

I haven't seen a strip from you
in weeks.

‐ Well, I mean...
‐ Lately, it's been about you

and your stupid grant
and these stupid f*cking shoes.

This is not activism!
‐ Okay.

Hey, hey!

Don't you dare hit Tall Keef.
‐ Oh, don't hit Tall Keef?

You don't want me
to hit Tall Keef?

‐ Yeah.
‐ f*ck Tall Keef!

‐ Oh, hey, hey!
Hey, what are you doing?

Hey, hey, hey! Will you stop?
Look, I get it. You're upset.

‐ I am not
an angry Black woman!

‐ I didn't call you
an angry Black woman.

I just said you're upset.

‐ I'm just a Black woman
who happens to be angry!

‐ What are you‐‐

You know what?

It's funny.
You call me selfish.

But you're the one
who only sees things your way.

Coming to the stage now to
introduce tonight's honoree,

please welcome
San Francisco's poet laureate,

Luna Johnson.

‐ Better go get
your little photo op.

‐ It's not little.

It's important.

♪ ♪

‐ Black exceptionalism,
thy name is Keef Knight.

♪ ♪

Luna, right this way.
Big smile.

♪ ♪

‐ We did it, bruv.
We got the pic‐y.

See, this is what happens
when you're Tall Keef.

Look at us now.

‐ I got to call Ayana.

♪ ♪

You guys are the same.

Thank you guys so much
for coming.

Thank you, thank you.

♪ ♪

f*ckin' Keef.

Every day...

is full of trauma, drama,
confusion.

And the one thing
that we can do for ourselves

and the best thing
that we can do for ourselves

is to take a moment...

and breathe.

Feels really good, right?

‐
Yeah.

f*ck my fiancé.

He's the worst.

‐ Okay, and I respect the fact

that you felt like this space
was a safe place to share that.

Thank you, Vicky.
Mm.

‐ Thank you.

Keef.

Welcome.

‐ What's happening in here?

‐ Uh, well,
I kind of started a religion.

‐ Okay, yeah.

I don't have the time
nor patience to unpack that.

I have to make a phone call.

‐ You won't have any luck
with that in here, man.

Stairwell is a dead zone.

‐ Holy sh*t.
I've got signal now!

5G!

‐ f*ck.

f*ck, f*ck.

♪ ♪

‐ Sorry.

‐ Now it's gone again.

♪ ♪

Keef? Keef!
What are you doing, man?

You've got one shoe on.
You're acting very weird.

Please stop power‐walking.
Power down! I'm not‐‐

♪ ♪

Yes, yes, Chef!

Oui, oui!

Oh!

Um‐‐

♪ ♪

‐ What the hell are you doing?
Losing his mind.

Or he's having a breakthrough.

♪ ♪

You pretending to be a chef?

‐ Wolfgang f*ck.

Mm.
Yeah.

♪ ♪

What, n*gga?

♪ ♪

‐ There's‐‐there's
really 5G in the shoes.

Oh.
Oh, sh*t.

I guess that explains
that thick ass sole, huh?

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Mm ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Mm ♪

♪ Tell me how it feels ♪

♪ Ya lost it, ya lost it ♪

♪ You could kiss my ass ♪

♪ But that might cost ya,
cost ♪

♪ All I do is me ♪

♪ Can't take no losses,
no loss ♪

♪ Who think
they do it better? ♪

♪ I'm taking offers ♪

♪ Taking offers ♪

♪ GDG for prez ♪

♪ Might take the office ♪

♪ I'm a dread head
smoking med ♪

♪ Just like I'm the Rasta,
I'm the Ras ♪

♪ See, he want to be me ♪

♪ That boy sus,
he's an imposter ♪

♪ Out in Seoul
with that DDU‐DU ♪

♪ Got BLACKPINK girls
on the roster ♪

♪ Hey,
time for a little more action ♪

♪ Time for‐‐time
for a little more passion ♪

♪ Time
for a little more action ♪

♪ Time for‐‐time
for a little more passion ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Time
for a little more action ♪

♪ Time for‐‐time
for a little more passion ♪

♪ Time
for a little more action ♪

♪ Time for‐‐time
for a little more passion ♪

♪ Smoking OG, yes, sir,
yes, sir ♪