02x05 - A Hard Dazed Knight/Do Unto Ogres

[bunniefuu]

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

[GRUFFI GRUNTING]

[MUMBLING]

- What are you doing in here?
- I brought you your lunch.

Can't you see I'm too busy to eat?

Ooh!

- See what you did?
- I'm sorry. Can I help?

You? Ha!

What would a girl know about
fixing Gummiberry juicers?

Well, it looks like you need
to shift the lever fulcrum

to the left an inch,

and then attach the end
of the spring under there.

That's all I need, a royal meddler.

I'm serious, Gruffi. Just try it. Please?

Oh, all right. I'll show you you're wrong,

and then maybe I can work in peace.

See?

Eh, sheer luck.

No, it wasn't. I watch the castle
engineers fix things all the time.

- Really?
- Sure.

Hmm.

Well, not that I need
any help, of course,

but, uh, what would you do with this?

Look, Sir Tuxford,
such fine-looking chickens.

Nice chickens.

My, what fresh fruits.

Mm, fruits.

These little inspection tours
do wonders for castle morale.

Yes, morale. Ha, ha.

Look at this, Your Majesty.

I purchased this crystal egg
from a magician

who found it
in an ancient desert pyramid.

How beautiful.

Here, Your Majesty. Hold it.

[PEOPLE GASPING]

[LAUGHING]

I've got your king.

It's a trick! Get him!

Stop, fools.

One more step,
and I'll shatter the egg.

Ha, ha. Now I'm going back
to hide this in Castle Drekmore.

When I return,
I shall rule as your new king.

Have my throne ready, peasants.

[LAUGHING]

Sir Tuxford, that was Igthorn.
What was he...?

[GASPS]

Father!

Why don't the knights
just go att*ck the duke's castle?

If they do, Igthorn will smash the egg
and destroy my father.

You mean all of Dunwyn is helpless?

[SOBBING]

Us fellow engineers
have to stick together.

Come on, kiddo, I've got a plan,

but it's gonna take both of us
to get it done in time.

CALLA:
What?

What are they up to?

[BANGING]

It sounds like they're b*ating up
a washtub.

[ALL SCREAM]

[CREAKING]

[ALL GASP]

Lever 16 got stuck again.

I'll get some oil.

[IN UNISON]
A machine!

The ancient Gummis made this
mechanical knight to protect the roads,

but it's so complicated, I needed
Calla's help to get it working again.

Well, it certainIy is impressive,

but how's that going to help
King Gregor?

Heh. You'll see.

How magnificent do I look, Toadwart?

Magnificently magnificent,
Your Magnifitude.

This is quite a step, from duke to king.

[LAUGHS]

Does this mean that faithful Toadie

gets a promotion too,
Your Elevatedness?

Never fear, Toadwart.

There will always be a place
in my kingdom

for a grovelling, boot-licking lackey.

Oh, goody.

Need dukie in courtyard.

Agh!

Get off of me,
you blithering nincompoop!

What happened to you, Corporal Gad?

Private Zook and me
run into black knight.

What black knight?

How you doing in there, Gruffi?

I just hope these old gears
hold out, princess.

My master heard you'll soon be busy
as Dunwyn's new king.

What's that to him?

Simple. You're gonna need a general

to watch over your brainless ogre army.

Hmm. I hadn't thought of that.

Well, I'm your man.

Oh! But, dukie,
clever Toadie should be general,

not some ugly, clanking, tin--

Whoa!

- May I?
- Feel free. I do it all the time.

- Thanks.
- Ugh, unh--

Whoa!

I like your style, black knight,

but I want to see you fight.

My generals have to prove
themselves in battle.

Calla, give my arm a shove,
it's stuck.

Oh, no. Are you sure you want
to go through with this?

Just be ready to look for that egg
once I get started.

Is everybody ready?

OGRES:
Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh.

- Give me an O!
OGRES: O!

Give me a G!

OGRES:
G!

Give me an R!

OGRES:
R!

Give me an E!

OGRES:
E!

- What's that spell?
- We don't know.

[ALL CHEERING]

[ALL GRUNTING]

Oh, ho! Interesting technique.

[OGRES SHOUTING]

If I were hiding a glass egg,

where would I put it?

[BIRD SQUAWKING]

Of course! A nest.

[GROWLING AND BARKING]

Aah! Hmm.

I'm going to need something
to distract those mongrels.

Okay, fella, I've been watching you.

What did you steal
from dukie's kitchen?

Oh, uh, just this soup bone. Here.

[SNARLING]

[DOGS BARK
AND TOADIE SCREAMS]

Nice puppies! Nice puppies!
Heel! Heel! Aah!

That ought to hold that little stinker.

I'll have you home soon, Father.

[SQUAWKING]

[SIGHING]

[SHOUTS]

[CHEERING]

ALL:
Ooh.

Where's Calla? I don't know how much
longer I can keep this thing together.

Nasty squire's got dukie's egg.

- Gotcha!
- Unh!

Gruffi, the egg! The egg!

What's going on here?

Give me back my egg!

- Uh-oh!
- Ha! No one messes with the duke!

I'm a sitting duck!

Gruffi, help!

Calla!

Here's oil in your eye.

[BOTH YELL]

Gruffi, you made it.

Here, sweetie. You hold it.

Princess Calla,
come to save your precious father.

Then who's this?

- Ooh!
- Ooh!

A Gummi Bear!

In the fur.

Quick, princess, give me a bear hug.

GRUFFI:
I can't steer!

Leave it to me.

Stop them! Break the egg!

Watch out!

- Great hands!
- Close the gate!

Hang on!

We made it! We made it!

Yep. We make a pretty
good team, princess.

Calla! Where have you been?

Duke Igthorn will be here any--

Don't worry about him.
Dunwyn is safe. Trust me.

Thank goodness.

But what are we going
to do about the king?

Well, in fairy tales,

people are sometimes
awakened by a kiss.

[STAMMERING]
But I don't know him that well.

No, no. Leave it to me, silly.

What a beautiful egg.

[ALL CHEERING]

ZUMMI:
If I have to pick one more Gummiberry,

my paws are gonna fall off.

Don't complain, Zummi.

You know how important the harvest is.

[SNORING]

Hey, everybody. Look what I made.

And where have you been, young lady?

Yeah, Sunni. We could've used
your help with the harvest.

I've been helping in a better way.

Let me show you.

I found a way to save us
picking thousands of berries.

Watch.

[RUMBLING]

A powing grotion!

Uh, eh, a growing potion.

It was easy.

I mixed up some fertiliser
and then threw in a couple of vitamins

and finally added a hair-growing formula
from the Great Book of Gummi.

I must still be dreaming.

I hope I don't wake up
until after I eat it.

[GULPING]

Blah! Yuck.

Pfft! You should've spent your time
helping us

instead of trying to poison us.

I was onIy trying to be helpful.

Just take this stuff down
to the quarry and get rid of it.

Well, you're welcome.

IGTHORN:
Wonderful, wonderful!

Excuse me, Your Open-Mindedness.

I'll rain pine trees down on Dunwyn.

I'll conquer them with conifers.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Ahem.

- I said, excuse me.
- Here, hold this.

As second in command here
at glorious Drekmore,

I had a few complaints.

First, I've been overworked,
underloved, kicked around,

abused, cheated, mistreated

and made fun of once too often.

[CRASH]

Toadie, are you whining?

You know I don't like whining.

No, no, I'm not whining.

But you don't treat me nice enough.

Don't you get the finest leftovers,

the least lumpy mattress,

a room with a view of the dungeon?

What more could a runty ogre want?

I want a little respect, you--! You tyrant!

Ohh.

Thank you for volunteering
for this mission, Toadwart.

What makes you think you can do this?

[IN UNISON]
Because we bigger than you.

[OGRES LAUGHING]

[TOADIE SCREAMING]

I sh*t a Toadie in the air,

and where he lands I do not care.

Boy, you try and do something nice,

nobody even says thank you.

Someday somebody will appreciate me.

[TOADIE SCREAMING]

[CRASH]

TOADIE:
Help! Help!

Oh, please, help me,
Your Gumminess!

- Help an ogre?
TOADIE: Please, please, please!

Well, I can't just let him fall.

Maybe I'll just untie him and then run.

Oh, hurry, hurry!

Come back, Gummi, come back!

You try and do something nice!

Wait! Stop!

Stop! Stop, Gummi!

Oh, no!

Please don't hurt me.

[KISSING]

You saved Toadie's miserable life.

Now miserable life belong to you.

What are you doing?

Why, I'm thanking you.

Look, um, you're welcome,
but I have to go now.

Stop it! Ew!

Don't send devoted Toadie away.

I was first in my grovelling class,

am a diligent worker
and make an excellent footstool.

What you need done, master?

Nothing. I just want to get rid
of this growth potion

- and then get back.
- I take care of that, Gummi mio.

No!

[SPLASHING]

Gee, I guess it's okay. Thanks.

No. Thank you.

No, really, thank you.

- Thank you.
- Heh, heh.

[LAUGHING]

Hey, you're not so bad, for an ogre.

I think you nice for a Gummi.

Dukie hates you, though.

In fact, dukie hates me now too.

Well, we aren't too crazy about him.

He thinks you have spies everywhere.

Ha, ha. Us? Spies?

Yes.

He's a domineering,
treacherous fanatic.

I guess that's why
I worship him so.

If onIy I could get back
into his good graces somehow.

- Ugh.
- Hey!

I got the Gummi Bear
I got the Gummi Bear

Won't dukie love me.

But I saved your life.

You promised to serve me.

Oh, yeah.

What Toadie do?

Want to be dukie's friend,
want to be Gummi's friend.

Unh, I'm stupid, I'm dumb.

I hate myself! Hate, hate, hate!

Hey, don't do that.

No wonder no one likes you.

You don't even respect yourself.

How do I do that?

Well, you have to care about yourself.

Don't let anyone push you around.

- Yeah?
- Aah!

Ha-ha-ha. Hey, Gad,

dukie send us to get log back,
get Gummi too.

[SCREAMS]

This my new friend! Let her go!

Why don't you pick on someone
your own size?

Ugh. Whoa!

[SCREAMING]

[SPLASH]

- Ha, ha. Three points, Zook.
- Help! Help!

[RUMBLING]

If onIy. If onIy.

Shrinking food?

Ooh, what a frightening thought.

IGTHORN: Oh, how shall I
make you talk, you little spy?

Something subtle, perhaps,
like the rack?

Then tell me how many
Gummi Bears there are.

- Just six.
- Six? I don't believe you.

Dukie, Toadie back.

Well, just throw him out again.

- Would rather not.
- Then I'll do it.

TOADIE:
Where's my friend?

- What is that?
- That Toadie!

You okay, boss?

Uh, yeah, sure.

You've always been a turncoat

for those vile little sneaky
Gummi Bears.

Will you please quiet him up?

With pleasure, Your Gummiosity.

You stay in here
with my hairball collection.

IGTHORN:
No, no! The smell!

I could get to like this.

A little more to the left.

TOADIE:
This is fun!

Oh, dukie not pay enough for this.

Aah! No, no!

Toadie, don't!

No!

- How could you?
- It was easy.

I'm bigger than them.

[GASPS]

Ah, air!

You ungrateful upstart!

I'll tear you limb from limb.

Eh, did I say "limb from limb"?

I meant, "Don't you look thin?"

[BABBLING]

Look, I saved you,
now you saved me.

If you take me home,
we can call it quits.

- Yeah.
IGTHORN: Listen to her. Listen to her.

I'll make you number one
vice-secretary generalissimo

of all the ogres

if you'll just let me down.

[RUMBLING]

Uh-oh.

Thank you, thank you.
Oh, oh, thank you. Thank--

Why, you little runt!

Do I still get to keep the promotion?

[YELLING]

Come on!

No, this way!

Down!

Faster, faster!

Oh, no!

IGTHORN:
Faster!

This is more like it.

Okay, slower.

Slower!

Uh-oh. Maybe we should move.

First floor.

Thanks. I can make it back home
from here.

- Ohh.
- Remember, stand up for yourself.

IGTHORN:
Toadwart!

You'd better tell me where she went
before I make a throw rug out of you.

O most forgivingness one,
Toadie still loyal.

I never liked Gummi.

You onIy real master for me.

Sure, I tell you where Gummi Bear went.

- Oh, no.
- Tell me, tell me!

She went thattaway.

Follow me, we'll get her yet.

And then, I'll deal with you.

Farewell, Gummi.

When next we meet on field of battle,

friends no more.

Boy, dukie gonna be mad at me,

but Toadie take a kicking
and keep on licking.