04x13 - Gem Heist

[bunniefuu]

- Garnet: # We # - # Are the Crystal # - Steven: # Gems # - # we'll always save the day # Steven: # and if you think we can't # All: # we'll always find a way # - # that's why the people # - # of this world # Garnet: # believe in Garnet # - # Amethyst # - # and Pearl # Steven: # And Steven! # The Human Zoo.

I can't believe it still exists.

Dad's got to be in there.

We just have to find him and bust him out.

[Gasps]

Those Gems.

Amethyst guards.

Right.

Like we could just waltz up as an ownerless Pearl, a Fusion, and and you.

We just need disguises.

I'll be Esteban Universedad.

Steven, it doesn't matter what your name is.

We're all going to stand out.

We won't stand out if we play the roles we were made for.

Ruby! Sapphire! Okay everybody, hear her out.

Today, I'm a Sapphire traveling with my Ruby guard Hm! And my personal Pearl.

Mm-hmm! Esteban, I've brought you as an offering for the zoo.

Pobrecito Esteban! Uh, what about me? You're accompanying me as extra muscle.

Muscle like them? Exactly.

But I've never even seen another Amethyst before.

What do I do? What if I say something wrong? Just look the part.

You're new and we're rusty, but we just have to sell this long enough to find Greg.

- Is this really going to work? - No.

- Uh? - Eh Just stick together, play it straight.

Let's change the future.

You'll never cage me, ya rock heads! State your purpose.

I'm here to make a delivery to the Human Zoo.

Bad news the Human Zoo shut down, which means we'll just have to throw you into space.

Ha! Look.

It believed me.

[Both laugh]

What are you doing? Nothing, Holly Blue Agate.

Nothing, Holly Blue Agate.

[Gasps]

[Grunts]

Why didn't you tell me there was a Sapphire here? What have you miscreants been saying to them? Nothing, Holly.

You'll have to forgive them.

[Chuckles]

They're from Earth.

Ahem! Apologize.

- Forgive us.

- Forgive us.

Ow! Forgive us, Your Clarity.

Forgive us, Your Clarity.

No use dwelling on the past.

I've brought a new human for the collection.

How unprecedented nothing for millennia and then two humans back-to-back! Well, it's probably for the best.

That first one wasn't in the best condition.

- [Gasps]

Dad! That's him! - Shh! Oh, they're incessant barking! What is it saying? [Chuckles]

The other one was loud too.

And all that thrashing about.

I'm sure Blue Diamond will want to thank you personally, but you just missed her.

[Both sigh]

Amethyst, take this human to the Wait! The thing is we've traveled so far, and it would be a shame to leave so quickly.

Perhaps you'd grant us a tour of the facility? I would be honored.

Right this way, Your Grand Clarity.

Amethysts are to stay and guard the door.

Uh, but The door.

Does your Pearl always walk next to you? [Laughs nervously]

I'll just be right here.

Hmm.

Chatty.

This facility originally belonged to Pink Diamond and houses and staffs the otherwise useless Quartzes she produced on what was her colony.

But Blue Diamond and her trusted Agate that's me have been maintaining this place since the dawn of Era 2.

Is she going to do it, or should I say something? Oh.

Pearl, the door.

Hm? Oh! Right, right.

I got it.

You are so patient with her.

How do you do it? As a Sapphire, I know it will happen eventually.

[Beep]

That will be all.

Sorry.

Hang in there.

Do keep up, Pearl.

Ugh.

The bottom half of this structure is devoted entirely to specimen containment.

Apparently, humans don't take well to captivity.

But once you understand their needs, they're easy to control.

It's tragic that Pink Diamond's existence in this universe ended up being so finite.

But what a selfless act for Blue Diamond to step forward and spend her own time and energy preserving this place in Pink Diamond's memory.

It's a real testament to Blue Diamond's merciful and giving nature, don't you think? Uh, of course.

Argh.

Hold it together, Ruby.

Our roles, remember? Gotta Esteban it.

And here, of course, is the human disposal chute.

Wha H-How do get in the zoo? Oh, there it goes again with its hilarious noises.

So, how do you get in the zoo? Excellent question, Your Grand Clarity.

One the rare occasion that we would need to enter the containment area, we would do so via this service door.

Dad.

That door's how we get to Dad.

We just need to come up with a distraction.

Got it! As one-way access point, there are no risks of an escape.

In fact, it's only been used once for a human expl*si*n! Pardon me? Uh.

I just remembered I left the gravity engine idling.

Sorry, my Sapphire, I'm so forgetful and disposable.

What? a foreseen turn of events.

Yes, it is going to overheat and explode.

The damage will be massive.

My word! I don't know why anyone trusts Rubies with those ships.

This is what happens.

If we hurry, we can disable the engine before any damage is done.

I should only take five minutes, so everyone be on your best behavior.

Hm? Oh.

This way, Your Clarity.

Although, I'm sure you don't need my guidance.

Argh! I can't believe all that stuff about Blue Diamond being merciful! She's a shatterer! She yelled at Sapphire! She hates Fusion! And love! I know, Ruby, but we don't have much time! We have to open this door! Right, right.

Pearl, open it! Of course.

What else am I good for? It's different than the other ones.

[Beep]

[Beep]

Aha! [Beep]

I actually can't figure this out at all.

What?! But Pearl, you're our hacker.

We don't have time for this! Steven, help me open the door! Okay.

And Pearl, hack faster! [Grunting]

[Screaming]

[Sighs]

Sapphire: I am so glad we're almost back! I was really enjoying the tour! Yes, I can tell by the tone of your voice.

Thank you so much again for averting that crisis.

[Both gasp]

What is going on? Oh, well, I'm sure there's a reasonable Did you see the Amethyst that did this? [All sigh]

Really, we have guests.

Holly Blue Agate, we have important news for you! We do not run or shout in these hallways! I'm sorry, i-it's just that How am I supposed to know what you're saying when you're mumbling? Uh, I'm sorry, Holly Blue Agate, it's just Blue Diamond is on her way! Oh, my stars! She's back already? You two, best behavior! Shoulders squared! Minds cleared! Backs straight! And surely, Blue Diamond will want to thank you personally for this special delivery, Your Grand Clarity.

Yes, I suppose she will.

Well don't just stand there, you useless chunks of earth, make yourself useful and escort that human to the assimilation bay! But the tour.

Oh, Your Clarity, you flatter me.

But we really must get ready.

Our Diamond will be here at any moment! Let me go, you bigger Amethyst! Ha.

These newer humans are so spunky.

In you go! [Machine whirs]

[Music]

What the Uh Huh? Ah.

Oomph! Bleh.

Huh? Mm! Bleh.

Mm! Hey! [Grunts]

Nope! I can do that myself.

I'll just find my dad without pants.

[Coughs]

Ugh.

Loin cloths.

[Groans]

Okay, what else, huh? What else you got for me? I'm on that dad-mission adrenalin rush and ready for whatever space junk you have next.

Futuristic cattle prods, human horseshoes whatever you got, come and get me! Aah! Aah! [Coughs]

Huh? What the What is this place? A-And where's Dad? [Eerie music]