04x18 - Rocknaldo

[bunniefuu]

- Garnet: # We # - # Are the Crystal # - Steven: # Gems # - # we'll always save the day # Steven: # and if you think we can't # All: # we'll always find a way # - # that's why the people # - # of this world # Garnet: # believe in Garnet # - # Amethyst # - # and Pearl # Steven: # And Steven! # [Sighs]

Space is great, but nothing beats some good ol' atmosphere.

Ronaldo: The horror! The terror! Protect yourself against the menace that threatens Beach City! Protect yourself against the menace that threatens Beach City? Mr.

Smiley, protect yourself against the menace that threatens Beach City? I'll protect myself from the menace that threatens Beach City.

Steven! I knew I could count on you! Let's get knowledgeable! "How to Protect Yourself Against Rock People"? What? "Alien entities walk among us"? "They're adding mind-controlling minerals to our water suppl" "They hate men"?! Protect yourself against the menace that Ronaldo! Wait! What is this? Well, technically, it's an infozine pamphlet, but I've been calling them Ronalphlets.

I get that part.

I'm talking about all this mean stuff you're saying about the Crystal Gems! No, no, no.

Crystal Gems aren't rock people.

Crystal Gems fight rock people.

See my documentary "Rising Tides, Crashing Skies.

" Crystal Gems don't just fight rock people.

We are rock people! Also, don't say "rock people.

" It's offensive.

Rock people are different, obviously.

For starters, they have rocks embedded in their bodies.

Like this? But they can summon weapons from the Mud Dimension.

[Warble]

No, no, you're not getting it.

They can alter their forms.

That's how they trick humans into loving them! [Meows]

Awwww! Wait a second.

You're a rock person?! I'm a Crystal Gem, Ronaldo.

[Yowls]

And you're not wrong about everything.

We're just ignored and misunderstood.

I'm so glad you're the only one that took a Ronalphlet! I'm so sorry! [Crying]

Hey, it's okay.

Everyone makes mistakes.

Just as long as you realize that the Crystal Gems and I aren't that different from you.

Right.

Thanks, Steven.

I gotta go rethink some things.

"I'm shutting down my blog," blah blah blah, "social media," blah.

"I may never come back to the Internet!" [Chuckles]

Whoa, dude.

I suppose it's a good thing that he's taking time to think.

There's a new post.

Hmm.

It's a video.

Good day, loyal followers of Keep Beach City Weird.

I've come to you today because I pride myself in bringing you the truth about all the weird stuff in Beach City The Man doesn't want you to know about.

But today, I need to tell you some truths about this man! I've mixed up what is right and wrong and ended up saying some pretty mean things about the Crystal Gems.

I feel terrible about my mistake because I know more than anyone what it's like to do thankless work and to be an outsider! That's why I'm joining the Crystal Gems! [Snorts, laughs]

What?! [Pounding on door]

Steven! Ronaldo! Guess what! You want to join the Crystal Gems? [Gasps]

I thought you'd never ask! You know, I always felt strangely at home here.

Unh-unh.

No.

You are not living here.

And you certainly can't join the Crystal Gems.

But You don't have a gem.

Your body is organic.

My body's organic, and I'm a Crystal Gem.

You're going to entertain this? We're all different, but we love and accept each other.

That's what Crystal Gems do.

And isn't it great that someone is actually interested in what we do? What better way to show him what we're about than to accept him as a Crystal Gem, too? Uhhh Let's do this! Well, it's not the strangest houseguest we've had.

So, when do I get issued my gem? Ohhhh.

It doesn't really uh eh But if you had a gem, what would you want it to be? Well, I care so much, I think it'd be, like, deep in my heart.

Or like a million tiny gems, like one crushed-up gem coursing through my blood, like like Bloodstone! Perfect! That's your Crystal Gem name.

Wait! Check it out! I have a gem w*apon now, too! Wow! A sword! I got it at Delmarva Con last year.

It's a replica from the anime "I Can't Believe My Stepdad's My Sword.

" It can cut through a carton of milk like a carton of butter! There's a half-full juice box by the TV.

Huhhhh Ahhhh! Nice! That star looks good on you.

[Warble]

Thanks.

Mission time! Awesome! Let me grab my katana from upstairs.

[Grunting]

[Wheezing, panting]

I'm gonna take the stairs.

Uh, I'm sorry, Bloodfry.

You're going to have to sit this one out.

It's a bit dangerous.

But Steven gets to go.

Steven is different.

He's been training with us for years.

Steven: Don't worry, Bloodstone.

I didn't get to come along at first, either.

We can start your training soon.

Be back in a bit! [Warble]

But I'm a Crystal Gem, too.

Umhi, Bloodstone.

Oh.

Hi, Steven.

Didn't see you there.

Sohow'd the mission go without me holding you back? Uh, it went fine.

You know, the usual fighting monsters, sharing emotions.

I'm glad you didn't get hurt with me not there.

Yeah.

Well, I'm heading out.

And you're going out like that? Uhlike what? Well, I just think a real Crystal Gem would want to show off their gem, like, all the time.

If I had a gem, I'd show mine off.

Female voice [Calmly]

: You are in a quiet forest.

The trees are quiet.

The sky is quiet.

A small rabbit begins to sing.

Ahhhh - Ronaldo: Rahh! - What the [Inhales deeply]

[Grunts]

[Sighs]

Bloodstone, I know you want to train, but it's bedtime.

Funny that yousleep, when gems don't need sleep.

Why is that? I I don't know.

Because I'm half human, I get tired and I Huh.

Well, I'm two halves human, and I'm not [Yawns]

tired at all.

[Clatter]

Ever since I became a Crystal Gem, uhsleeping [Chuckles]

I don't do it.

That's great, Bloodstone.

What a cool name.

I'm so cool.

Bye, Connie! See you tomorrow for sword training! Aah! Her gem w*apon's a sword, huh? She totally ripped that off from me.

What?! That sword belonged to my mom! How come I don't get your mom's gempon? That's "gem" and "w*apon.

" Well, Connie's been a part of the Crystal Gems longer than you, so Admit it She's just in because she's your girlfriend.

What are you talking about?! She doesn't even live here! I'm here all the time! Look at that quality groove I've established! If she was a real Crystal Gem, she'd be a little bit more dedicated! Are you serious?! Bloodstone, ever since you got here, all you've done is boss me around! Who are you to tell anyone how to be a Crystal Gem?! You're just You're just a guy with a blog! Is that love? Is that acceptance? Maybe you're the one that isn't a Crystal Gem.

I think you need to leave and think about stuff.

What is my problem? He just wanted to be included.

If I were really a Crystal Gem, I'd never Wait a second.

Ronaldo: [Laughs]

Amethyst?! [Laughing]

Yo, I didn't even say anything.

Bloodstone! We need to talk! You're right! The Crystal Gems are about love and acceptance! But you've been acting really mean to me, and I don't love that.

I don't accept that.

I wish I hadn't snapped at you.

it's just I really thought you joined because you were interested in the Crystal Gems.

But the second it wasn't about you, you stopped caring.

This isn't the Bloodstone club about making Bloodstone feel good.

This is my whole life! Do you care about that or not?! Whoa! You truthed him so hard, he d*ed! No! Bloodstone! Bloodstone! [Snoring]

[Sighs]

He's just asleep.

Guess staying awake for a whole week finally caught up with him.

Well, what do we do with Fryrocko now? We should let his parent know he's back.

[Warble]

[Deep voice]

Hey, Dad.

I'm back.

Blog, blog, blog.

That was really good! [Warble]

[Normal voice]

Thanks! I'lltext Peedee and let him know he's here.

You think he'll be okay? You've worried about him enough, Steven.

Crystal Gems, let's head back.

[Snoring]

[Seagulls crying]

Bloodstone! Oh.

Hey, Steven.

Are you all right? I haven't seen you in three weeks.

Yeah.

I took a real long nap.

And then I did some hard thinking.

I wasn't acting like Bloodstone.

I was acting like [Inhales deeply]

Jerknaldo.

You accepted me, but I still felt like an outsider.

I guess even amongst outsiders, I am the ultimate outsider.

I think it's better Ronaldo Fryman work alone.

Are you sure? I was really glad you wanted to help our cause.

I still do.

Oh.

It's you and Pearl shaking hands.

When did that happen? I used the magic of photo-editing software.

Hey, but, uh Ronalphlets aside, can I ask you something? Yeah.

Why don't you use your Gem name? Oh.

My Gem name is my mom's name.

Actually, the only time Gems really call me that is if they're about to kidnap me or b*at me up.

That's rough, buddy.

You want me to put that in the Ronalphlet? - Ehh maybe not.

- Got it.