02x18 - Arthur vs. the Very Mean Crossing Guard/D.W.'s Very Bad Mood

[bunniefuu]

♪ Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view. ♪

( laughs )

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen
to your heart ♪

♪ Listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together and make things
better by working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other. ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day. ♪

Hey!

ARTHUR:
Hey, D.W.

Hey!

Whoa!

( crash )

Anybody here?

D.W. is so easy to fool.

She'll believe anything.

Like one time I told her
sweaters were a kind of animal.

I'm not
afraid of you!

( growling )

( screams )

And I told her that
if you stayed in the tub

After you pulled out
the plug...

Whoa!

You'd get sucked in!

( chuckles )

She wouldn't take
a bath for weeks.

Yep, she'll believe anything.

D.W.:
Arthur?

Did you find anything?

No monsters.

At least none I noticed.

Just try not to think
about them.

( squeak )

Ah!

( nervous laugh )

Hey!

Oops.

I told her my bunny
poster could tell me

If she came
in my room

When I
wasn't there.

Wow, it must be
great to have

Someone as gullible
as D.W. for a sister.

is it ever!

You want
to come over

And play
fool the mule?

Sure!

Uh, Brain?

What's
"gullible" mean?

Easy to fool.

Oh, right.

I forgot what it meant.

Yeah, that D.W.--

She sure is
gullible.

MAN:
Hello,
partners!

How are you doing?

Fine. Where's
Mrs. Hurley?

She's gone out of town.

I'm holding down the fort.

That'll be
ten dollars.

Ten...

Dollars?

Don't you know?

New rule: Ten dollars
to cross the street.

I'll take
that

In small
bills, please.

But... But we don't
have ten dollars!

You mean you expected
to cross the street for free?

No, but we always
did before, sir.

Well, I guess
you can pay me later

But don't
take too long

Or I'll send
my g*ons after you!

Ten dollars
to cross the street!

That's $ a week!

I'M LUCKY I LIVE
ON THE OTHER SIDE.

PIGGY BANK:
I contain $ . . Oink.

Arthur, I can't afford
to walk home from school!

MUFFY:
Bailey, stop here!

Brain, where have you been?

No one's seen you
since third grade.

I could only
cross the street
$ . worth.

This is as far
as he would let me come.

As I always say

If you want service,
you have to pay for it.

Wait!

I need $ . so I can...

Get across!

( laughing evilly )

( sighs )

We can't even pay for today!

You think he'll...

Send his g*ons?

Arthur,
What are g*ons?

I was going
to ask you that!

( monkeys chattering )

Who are you?

Are you the g*ons?

Of course not.

We're baboons.

The g*ons'll be along later

And they're
really scary!

We don't even know
what he's sending after us!

We have
to stay calm.

We'll come up
with a plan
by tomorrow.

The mean crossing guard
is only there

In the
afternoon, right?

Right.

So all I have to do
is find a way home.

Here are my ideas.

Plan "A":

The bridge.

Ten dollars!

Drawback--

Storing it.

Plan "B":

The tunnel.

Eww!

Aah!

Drawback: directions.

I want that!

Plan "C": the balloon.

Give it to me!

Hey, you,
I want that!

Drawback: getting blown
off course...

( cow mooing )

Crash-landing
in a strange country

Populated by strange creatures

And having to declare
myself "wizard."

( laughing )

Gee, you really
thought this out.

Yeah, but none
of my ideas work.

I just need
a functional plan.

You sure you don't
want to come over?

I better save my money.

Good thinking.

Well...

Here goes.

Here's half
of the twosome.

Where's your
partner in crime?

We didn't perpetrate
any criminal acts.

You sure i haven't seen you
on a "wanted" poster someplace?

Maybe down
at the post office?

No!

Well, watch your step now.

I'm on to you.

One false move, Boyo--

It's into
the slammer!

Crossing guard...

Ten dollars...

Have to get across!

If only I hadn't crossed
the street so much

My parents wouldn't
sell our house.

Living in a tent
might not be bad.

It might be fun.

I wonder who bought
our house, anyway.

( laughing evilly )

Home, sweet home!

Ahh!

What's the point?

I can't think
anymore.

If only
my parents moved...

( clears throat )

Everything would be fine.

You could stay over tonight.

Grandma Thora's
baby-sitting

And she says yes
to anything.

Really?

( Mr. Ratburn clears throat )

I'll go straight
to your house

And call my parents
from there.

Here they are!

OH, we're not
crossing today, sir.

I hope you aren't planning to
cross at some other stop sign!

I got cameras everywhere!

BRAIN:
In theory,
it's possible.

Cameras can be
made quite small

Even small enough
to fit in this.

Whoa!

( both laugh nervously )

You think he has
cameras in there?

Could be.

Better talk in code.

The... penny jar...
sure is mean.

That's right.

It's almost
as bad as the rug.

What?!

D.W.:
Arthur!

Come check my bed!

There's nothing
there, D.W.!

Go to sleep.

You know it's bad

When i don't feel
like torturing D.W.

( chirping )

I've got it!

Wake up, I know
what to do!

Could you,
Grandma?

Of course, Arthur

If you're sure
that's what you want.

Yay!

See you after school!

Brilliant idea,
Arthur.

( horn honks )

Grandma Thora's cab company
at your service!

Who needs
a ride home?

It's very nice of you
to drive me home.

Why are we
stopping?

Someone's in the crosswalk.

He sees us!

BRAIN:
Duck!

What's going on
back there?

Fasten those seat belts.

ARTHUR:
Shh, Grandma!

He'll see us!

Who, Ted?

You know him?

He's the meanest man ever!

Ted? Oh, he's a pussycat.

He wants money!

GRANDMA THORA:
What?!

We'll just see about this!

He sure looks mean.

He's the meanest ever.

He said he'd send
his g*ons after us!

And turn Brain in
to the police!

He has cameras
in all the stop signs!

You're saying you
actually believed all this?

That's the
funniest
thing ever!

You guys'll
believe anything!

( laughing )

GRANDMA:
Arthur, Alan?

This is Ted Glass.

He wants to say something.

Go ahead, Ted.

I just wanted to tell you
I was sorry if my kidding around

Gave you two
a scare.

Oh, that's
all right.

We didn't really
believe it much.

( laughing )

I was pretty sure he was joking
about the cameras.

Yeah, you'd have to be
pretty gullible.

I guess even smart people
believe dumb stuff sometimes.

D.W.:
Arthur!

Come here,
hurry!

See you tomorrow, Brain.

( sighs )

I think I heard something move!

You'd better watch out,
it could be a...

A what? A what?

Actually...

There aren't any monsters
under the bed, D.W.

I was just fooling you.

Oh, I know that.

I always
have.

But could you
check anyway?

Please?

I figured
I shouldn't
scare her.

Good idea.

She's liable
to believe anything.

Hello, boys.

Hi.
Hello.

Wait! Don't you need

The password?

That's right!

You boys
are crossing

Into enemy
territory now.

Could be
inhabited
by g*ons.

Could be worse,
I hear.

You'd better
watch your step!

KIDS:
And now...

When I was little, I thought
the TV can go on by itself.

Now I know that
my mom used to turn it on

With the remote control.

Everybody used
to believe something.

When I was little, I thought
that spaghetti was worms.

But when my mother gave me
some to eat, it was good.

It was not worms.

I used to think
tomatoes were apples.

Now I know they're tomatoes.

When I was little,
I used to think

There was a monster
in the closet.

But now I know there's
no such things as monsters.

Once I thought my refrigerator
was a restaurant

Because it was full of food.

But now I know
it's just a refrigerator.

I used to think
that books could talk.

( books talking )

But now I know
that books can't talk.

Whoop.

But I read them.

I used to believe

That what was on TV
would come right out of the TV.

( growling )

And now I think
it's just a TV show.

I used to think
that a basketball

Was a bouncing orange.

Now I know
an orange is an orange

And a basketball
is a basketball.

I used to think that
the city buses were just buses

But now I think
they're alien spacecraft

And that they're going
to sh**t me with their lasers.

ALL:
What do you believe?

And now...

( bird chirping )

It's really nice when
you have a perfect family.

Here you go, son--

A nutritious lunch
neatly packed for you.

Gee whiz, thanks, Mother!

DAD:
Son, would
you like

A ride
to school?

Golly, Father,
thanks a million!

( doorbell chimes )

BOTH:
Hello, Mrs. Read,
Hello, Mr. Read.

Hi, Kids!
Hi, Kids!

Arthur, Are you ready?

We can't break
our record

For being on time
to school.

I'll be right there!

You see, my life
is just about perfect.

Except for one little thing...

( house rumbling )

Can you guess?

( screaming )

Where's
my breakfast?

( screaming )

Come back here!

I'm hungry!

( people screaming )

( Pal barking )

( Kate crying )

Okay, okay, so I'm
slightly exaggerating...

These corn puffs are soggy.

I won't eat them!

But only slightly.

And I'm not going
to preschool either!

I'm sick of it!

I'll do what I want!

Do you hear me? Do you?

FRANCINE:
One for you

And one for you.

And, Arthur...

Wake up!

I'm inviting you

To my
birthday party.

I'm sorry, I can't go.

I'm too tired.

The party's not
for two more weeks.

You'll get sleep.

But D.W. has gone nuts.

Last night
she wouldn't stop screaming.

D.W.:
You're making me go to bed

Because you don't
want me around!

You don't love me!

You wish I wasn't
even born!

Sleep tight, D.W.

Let's hope you feel
better in the morning.

I won't feel better
in the morning!

I won't, I won't, I won't!

( door slams )

I won't!

She did that all night long.

What if she never
lets me go to sleep again?

That experiment
would be interesting.

We could chart
your Brain's deterioration...

Why not just ask her
what's wrong?

Why don't you ask her?

Okay, I will.

FRANCINE:
Thanks, Mrs. Read.

My pleasure.

( gulping noisily )

D.W., one at a time.

You're always picking on me!

You never pick on anyone else!

You know that's
not true, D.W.

Everybody has
to eat politely,
including you.

You never include me!

You make me stay home whenever
there's anything fun!

Only Arthur
gets to have fun!

D.W., Can I ask you a question?

Maybe.

What's the matter with you?

( gasps )

( sobbing )

( all sigh )

Great-- You really
solved the problem.

I didn't think
she'd get so upset.

It's not your fault.

May I be excused?

( D.W. sobbing )

I'm sorry, D.W.

I didn't mean to
hurt your feelings.

But you really are
being a total doofus.

( sniffling ):
Who asked you?

You don't even live here.

Nobody asked me.

I'm Arthur's friend.

I want to help him.

You know what,
Francine?

What?

Go... Go...

Oh, I'm too tired

To think of any more
mean things to say.

BRAIN:
Did Francine figure out
D.W.'s Problem?

No, last night she
slammed so many doors

I thought we'd
get arrested.

ANNOUNCER:
Join us for another
nerve-wracking half hour

Of temper tantrum patrol squad.

( sirens blaring )

( kids crying )

Thank heavens you're here.

Upstairs and to the right.

You have the right
to remain silent...

I will not be silent.

I'll be as loud as I want!

And you can't
stop me!

No one can!

Who made you the boss?

We need backup, fast!

Cool! When is that
going to be on?

I think D.W.'s
being a pain

Because she's upset
about something.

What does D.W. have
to be upset about?

She's only four!

Yeah, it's not like
she's a third-grader!

But something's bothering her

And we must find out
what, starting today.

We have soccer
practice.

Starting tomorrow!

I'd love to, but I have
to clean the garage.

And I have to...
clean our garage, too.

Yeah, Ha, Wow,
what a coincidence.

Thanks
a lot, guys.

Anytime.

ARTHUR:
Subject in view.

What's she doing?

Eating her sandwich.

She's making a face.

She's spitting
out the bologna

And throwing it
into the bushes.

Pal is eating the bolo...

Pal! Put that down!

Quiet! Spies don't yell.

Sorry, I couldn't help it.

Seeing Pal eat
spit-covered bologna-- yuck!

Give me those.

Where'd she go?

Ah! I Know what you're doing,
and it won't work.

ARTHUR:
She's not saying anything!

And it's : and I'm tired!

Whatever it is,
she'll say it in her sleep.

You can't give up.

Wait, this might be it!

Oh... It's wrong...

Something wrong...

"It's wrong...
something's wrong..."

Because...

"Because..."

Because Arthur is a dodo brain!

"Because Arthur
is a dodo brain!"

( Francine laughing )

Stop laughing, Francine.

ARTHUR:
If we can't figure out

What's wrong
With D.W. today

Then I give up.

I'm telling you,
we're close.

Then you can sleep.

There she is!

GIRL:
We'll go to the movie

And then you can give me
my presents at my house.

Remember, Saturday at : !

She's looking
right at us!

Not us-- them.

Hey, D.W.

Francine, can I
ask you a question?

Sure, anything.

Why don't you go back
to your own house

And stop bothering us?

D.W., this being rude to
everybody has got to stop.

Well, I know
something

That might
make feel better.

If I could see

QUAZY KOOL KITTENS:
The journey home

At : , Saturday.

You've seen that movie twice.

( growling )

Arthur and I would
love to take her.

( panting )

How could you make me do this?

You want to find out
what's wrong with D.W., right?

You better
be right.

Even D.W. isn't
having fun.

( fake laughing )

What are you doing?

( loudly ):
Having fun--

Loads and
loads of fun!

Oh, hi, D.W.

Hi, Lisa, I didn't
know you'd be here.

Me and my friends are
having lots of fun.

( giggling )

( Francine laughing )

I have lots and lots of friends.

I'm really popular,
and I usually get invited

To a lot of
birthday parties.

( coolly ):
Oh, that's nice.

( whispering and giggling )

Well, maybe the previews
will be interesting.

I don't feel well.

I want to go home.

D.W., we just got here!

Wait, what am I saying?

Let's go!

Great-- we spent
all that money

And still don't
know what's wrong

Except she's
driving me busalooey.

And you know
I hate that word.

D.W. and I are going
to get some ice cream.

Why don't you go home?

This is just for girls.

See you later.

FRANCINE:
And so, you should never

Feel left out because
you just might not be.

You shouldn't
feel bad

Just because you
didn't get invited

To that
birthday party.

What birthday party?

Those girls at the movie--

That's been
bugging you, right?

Yeah, maybe.

( pleading ):
Francine, could
you help me?

Of course, D.W.,
anything you say.

Okay, I want to hire
a balloon and...

GIRLS:
Happy Birthday, Lisa!

( all humming )

( all gasping )

( D.W. laughing evilly )

Time to rain
on their little parade.

( laughing )

( screaming and crying )

That sounds kind of mean.

They were
mean first!

I know you feel
left out

But maybe there
wasn't enough room.

Who's side
are you on?

Do you play with Lisa a lot?

Well, no, but she's friends
with my friend, Emily

And she got to go
to the party.

Everybody can't go
to every party.

But I know what will
make you feel

Much better.

What? What?

ARTHUR:
Hey, look at...

It's for D.W.

What? Really?!

It's for me?

What is it?

Wow!

"Miss D.W. Read
is invited..."

I'm invited

I'm invited, I'm invited!

To what?

To Francine's
birthday party.

Yes!

What?! No way!

This is better
than Lisa's party.

This is a third-grade party!

Just wait till I tell them,
just wait.

What a nice friend
Francine is.

( exasperated groan )

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen
to your heart ♪

♪ Listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ And I say hey! ♪

♪ Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day! ♪

♪ Hey! ♪