05x01 - Arthur and the Big Riddle/Double Dare

[bunniefuu]

# Every day when you're walking down the street

# Everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

- # And I say hey!
- Hey!
- What a wonderful kind of day

# If you can learn to work and play And get along with each other

# You've got to listen to your heart

# Listen to the b*at Listen to the rhythm of the street

# Open your eyes, open your ears

# Get together and make things better by working together

# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

# Oh, believe in yourself For that's the place to start

- # And I say...
- Hey!
- Hey!
- What a wonderful kind of day

- # If you can learn to work and play And get along with each other...
- Hey!

- # A wonderful kind of day...
- Hey!
- A wonderful kind of day...
- Hey!
- #

Hey! DW!

- Hey!
- Whoa!

- Way to lose, Arthur! - I thought you were going to win.

Not me. I knew you would lose. I'm so glad you did.

Me, too. You're a great loser.

I couldn't have done it without you.

- Especially you, Buster.
- What are friends for?

Three cheers for Arthur, the loser!

Hip-hip hooray! Hip-hip hooray!

Do you like riddles? See if you can get this one.

When is it better to lose than win?

ALL CHANT: Arthur! Arthur!

Hi, Arthur.

'You've got chocolate all over your face.'

Got any ideas? At the end of the show, see if you solved the riddle.

You could be a loser, too.

- Arthur!
- Ssh.

You broke my Mackerel Man.

I thought his fin came off.

- You owe me a new one.
- No, I don't.

'It's time for another fun and exciting round of Riddle Quest.'

- We have to stop fighting. Riddle Quest.
- Riddle Quest? What's that?

This cool game show. Kids answer riddles and win prizes.

'And here is your host, Alex LeBeq.'

'Welcome to Riddle Quest. I'm here with our reigning champion,

- 'Charlotte Bickles.'
- She's been the champ for weeks now.

- No-one can b*at her.
- Big deal.

'I am a kind of band that does not make music. What am I?'

- Er...a band of rocks.
- A rubber band.

- 'You are a rubber band.
- That's correct.

'I am a king, but I'm also a common measuring device. What am I?'

- A ruler.
- 'You are a ruler.
- Right again.'

Hey, you're really good at this.

'Charlotte and Andy, are you ready for your final, really big riddle?

'If I fill a pitcher, it's lighter than when it's filled with air.

'What am I?'

- Holes.
- 'You are holes.'

'Charlotte, you have won again.

'See you again next week on Riddle Quest.

'All runners-up will receive boxes of Choco-Stick.'

You got the answers quicker than Charlotte. You would have won.

'To appear on the show, send your name to Riddle Quest Studios.'

Ridiculous! You know how many kids must try to get on that show?

Stranger things have happened.

- I got an A in the maths quiz.
- You studied hard for that quiz.

See what I mean? I never study.

So why did I choose to study for that quiz? Life is very weird.

- New applicants.
- Bring them here.

Let's see. "Arthur." Fine. Book him for next week.

A game show? Why do they want you?

He's the best riddle answerer ever.

- No, I'm not.
- Don't let anybody know.

- You've got to act confident.
- Why?

You've got to psych out your opponent.

Even if she's way better than you.

Will you be friends with us when you're rich and famous?

Sometimes rich people can be real snobs.

Would everyone calm down? I haven't won anything yet.

I hope he doesn't wear his silk bow-tie.

I think a red cape, with a mask.

I can't believe it. This is such a dumb idea.

Arthur, these kids are masters at riddles. You'll thank me later.

DING-DONG

It's black, white and red all over.

- A newspaper.
- No, a penguin holding its breath!

- LAUGHING
- Hey, my answer was right, too.

- Sorry, DW.
- We can't help him.

- He's terrible.
- We asked him riddles. He got them all wrong.

Oh, please don't give up on him.

He's my only brother.

- They're dopey riddles, not the kind on Riddle Quest.
- How do you know?

They could ask you anything.

She's right, Arthur. Look. This was last week's final round.

'I am a pet that is always found on the floor.

'What am I?

- 'You are a carpet.
- That's correct.'

See? Just a dopey riddle, but she got it.

Boy, is she good! Let's watch her bout with Sammy Liston.

I want to go for a bike ride.

Do you wanna b*at Charlotte Bickles?

- Well, yeah.
- You've got to know her.

- You've got to eat, sleep and think like her.
- OK, OK. I'll watch.

PING-PING-PING-PING

Stop! pings in a minute. Try the left hand.

PING-PING-PING-PING

- She sells sea shells by the "she" shore.
- SEA shore!

You've got to enunciate. You're going to be on TV. Do it again.

She sells sea shells by the sea shore.

- Cow and pogo stick.
- You are a milk shake.

- Lemon and cat.
- You are a sourpuss.
- BELL RINGS

I think he's ready.

Must...answer...riddles.

Arthur, wake up! We're late!

- Huh? What are you doing, Buster?
- Trying to b*at the clock.

It's not working. Follow me.

- Wait! Why are you dressed so funny?
- No time to explain. We're late!

Oh, we're very late.

Seems to be a break in the clouds.

- Fix it, Tibbledee and Tibbledum.
- Don't ask us. We're all thumbs.

- Where am I?
- You're in Riddleland, where everything's a riddle.

What would you like with your "T"?

- I don't want tea. I want to go home.
- Not until you answer this riddle.

Is the sentence "This statement is false" true or false?

True. No, false. I-I don't know.

Of course you don't. There's no answer. Ha-hah!

I want to go home.

I want to...go home.

- I want to go home...
- Arthur, today is the big day.

Oh, it was just a dream. Phew!

- Want me to ask you some riddles while you're getting dressed?
- No!

Bye, Arthur. We'll watch you every week.

- I'll be home this afternoon.
- When you win, you'll have to go back.

- You might have to change schools.
- Maybe I won't win.

Not a chance. We've trained you well.

You're on, kids! Whatever happens, we love you.

Thanks, Sally.

Here's your first riddle.

I'm always coming, but I never arrive. What am I?

- PING
- Arthur?
- You are tomorrow.

That's correct. Well done.

Yeah! Go, Arthur!

I miss him already.

You are a swordfish.

You are a snowbank.

Correct. Next question. I am a nut that has no shell. What am I?

You are a doughnut.

Right again. Next question. I have limbs but I can't walk.

What am I?

You are a tree.

Next question. I am a chair for an amphibian.

What am I?

TOGETHER: A toadstool.

The score is tied. Are you two ready for your really big riddle?

This will decide who is the champion of Riddle Quest.

I occur once in a second, twice in a week,

and once in a year. What am I?

'Hmm... Second. Week. Year.

'I got it! It's the letter E.

'Wait. What if Buster's right?

'If I am good at riddles, I could be on this dumb show for years.'

I am purple.

And I go, "Hmm..." What am I?

- PING
- ..I forget.

Huh? Oh, so do I.

Oh, we'll give it to you, anyway.

APPLAUSE

- You are the letter E.
- That is correct. Charlotte, you win again.

'All runners-up receive boxes of Choco-Stick, the chocolate stick.'

CHANTING: Arthur! Arthur!

Three cheers for Arthur the loser! Hip-hip hooray! Hip-hip hooray!

Did you answer it right? I hope not.

If you did, you've been watching too many game shows.

Something big can start from the littlest thing.

Arthur, pull!

I'm trying.

Like, some guy records a song in his bathroom and it becomes...

# Sloppy, Sloopy, Floppy, Floopy... #

Stop it! Stop it before I go crazy and eat these cushions!

And how DW can manage to have a tantrum over nothing.

I'm sick of sunshine.

Sun, sun, all the time, sun!

How about some rain around here? Is that too much to ask? Is it?

This whole stupid mess started over nothing - over less than nothing.

- Arthur...
- Don't let me go!

..Uh-oh.

With the homework Ratburn gave us, I'll never get to watch any TV.

And tonight's the showdown between Dark Bunny and the -foot squid.

He gets eaten by a giant clam, and...

BOTH: Digested by clam juice.

And we won't get to see it.

- It's so unfair. One day I'm gonna NOT do my homework.
- Impossible.

- How would you ever face Ratburn?
- I just wouldn't go to school.

I'd skip school.

LAUGHING Oh, right(!) You - skip school? You're too much of a scaredy-cat.

I am not! I'd skip school in a minute, like...like that.

Oh, yeah? I dare you.

She dared you, Arthur. You have to do it.

- No, I don't.
- You do. It's the rule.

- What rule?
- I don't make 'em, I just call 'em.
- Then...I dare you back.

Well, then...I dare Buster.

I'm nothing to do with this.

- Doesn't matter. Once you're dared, you're dared.
- Then I dare YOU.

This is serious, guys. We need a plan.

OK, here's how we'll do it.

Normally we walk straight to school.

Tomorrow we turn off at this bush.

And then we turn right, and...we don't go to school.

- Not much of a plan.
- I only had five minutes.

I don't think we should do this.

- It was your idea, Arthur.
- I was kidding.

It's out of our hands. We've all been dared, and that's that.

- MOM:
- Arthur! Dinner!
- We'll meet at the bush and decide what to do.

- But what if...?
- Arthur!

Mom called you for dinner two hours ago! Come on!

- Five seconds ago. Who said you could come in?
- What are you doing?

None of your business.

We'll just see about that.

- DW's staring at me.
- DW, take a look at those Brussels sprouts instead.

Arthur is much more interesting than Brussels sprouts...sometimes.

Is it safe to come in?

- Yeah, it's a commercial.
- Has the clam eaten Dark Bunny yet?
- Yeah.

- What do you look so guilty about?
- Quit it, DW! I don't look guilty.

I look completely...not guilty.

- Don't you have homework?
- I told you.

I am NOT guilty, so leave me alone already!

No... No...

I hate clams. No...

- Where am I?
- Well,

you're certainly not at school, are you?

I-I... No, I'm not. But I want to be.

Are we inside a clam? Phew! It really stinks in here.

- Where did you come from?
- Don't know.

Hey, you! Let us out!

Too late for that. You took a wrong turn at that bush.

And now...

It smells like clam juice. Arthur, I think we're being...

BOTH: Digested!

Buster, I can't go through with it. I don't care if Francine dared me.

I can't do it, either.

I dreamt that this giant clam told me to go to school.

If a clam tells you to do something, you do it.

- That's so weird. I had the same...
- Arthur!
- Go away! I'm on the phone.

- It's a free country.
- Buster, tell everyone you-know-what is cancelled.

- I can't talk right now.
- Sure. See you.

OK, if you're sure.

What clam?

'You've reached the Frenskys.' BEEP

'Francine, you know the thing?

'It's... We're not gonna do it. There was this clam.

- MUSIC ON WALKMAN
- 'Forget about the bush.'

- Did you call everyone?
- Yep. It's all set.

BELL RINGS

- Buster Baxter?
- Here.

- Muffy Crosswire?
- (Where's Francine?
- Don't know.)

Francine Frensky?

Francine?

I'm going to k*ll those guys! And now it's nine o'clock.

sh**t!

..Uh-oh.

- Did you catch it last night?
- No, it was scheduled opposite Galsworthy.

- Psst!
- Couldn't miss that.
- I've got a tape if you want.

I said, psst!

What are you doing out there?

I... What are YOU doing in there?!

It's off. You got my message?

No. Now I can't get in.

NONCHALANT HUMMING

- Its debt to German expressionism...
- Meet us at the bathroom.

Francine! Francine! Over here!

- Don't just hang there. Do something!
- Buster, do something!

Ow! Not so hard!

- Arthur, you're gonna drop me!
- I can't help it. You're too heavy.

I am not! I weigh less than you.

- Arthur, watch...
- Don't let me go.

..Uh-oh.

- Sorry.
- Now what?

Leave it to me, Francine. I have an idea.

- Since when does Binky have ideas?
- It's all set.

When I scream, run to the door.

- Why should we run to the door?
- So you can open it! Geez!

OK, here goes.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

- Ow! Ow! Ow!
- What is he doing?
- Come on.

Ow! Oh, Mama! Oh, Mama!

- Francine, over here!
- You're supposed to be over HERE!

No, you're supposed to be over HERE.

- No, you're supposed...
- We don't have much time!

BINKY SCREAMS AND SCREAMS

Ah... Um...

It's my shoe, Mr Ratburn. It's too tight.

Then I suggest you get a new pair.

Er...no! No, wait! I think it's my socks!

Hurry up, before it's too...

late.

- Just what is going on?
- ALL TALK AT ONCE

What is all this? Francine, why aren't you in school?

I, er...

I, er... See, er...

Come to my office immediately.

- I...am...doomed.
- Not necessarily.

I heard a girl got expelled.

She got a job selling doughnuts. She can eat as many as she wants.

- Cool! - I don't want to go to work.

- Maybe they'll only expel you for a year.
- They won't be hard on you.

- It really isn't your fault.
- True.

It's YOUR fault for making me dare you.

Francine, where on earth did you get the idea to skip school?

I... I...

It was my idea, I guess. My stupid idea.

You'll spend all of next week after school. This better not happen again.

- It won't.
- I'm very disappointed in you.

- I know.
- Wait.

It wasn't Francine's idea. It was mine.

Only, I never meant to do it.

But we got dared and had to do it.

It was the only way we could watch Dark Bunny and not do our homework.

If Francine's punished, I should be.

Arthur's right. Punish me, too.

And me! Punish me!

- You didn't have anything to do with it.
- Oh, yeah. Forget it.

Nice try.

Since you came to school, it makes no sense to punish you.

But I'm glad to have an explanation for why you didn't do your homework.

- For that, I will give you an extra assignment.
- Yeah!

- Busy day, Rat?
- A tough one, yes.

Do you have the tape? Why would good students choose to skip school

- and fall behind on their homework?
- 'It's your favourite hairy hero!

'He battles the -foot squid! minutes of oceanic action!'

- All right!
- This is a great one. Wait till you see the giant clam.

It's absolutely disgusting, the way it sucks up...