05x04 - The World Record/The Cave

[bunniefuu]

♪ Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view. ♪

( laughs )

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen
to your heart ♪

♪ Listen to the b*at ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together and make things
better by working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other. ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day. ♪

Hey!

Arthur:
Hey, D.W.

Hey!

Whoa!

( crash )

If I were to have an Arthur Read
Book of World Records

everything in it
would be really cool

like Francine would be
in there because...

( begins drumming )

( shouting ):
she plays the drums louder
than anyone!

( crash )

Arthur:
And Buster has told more jokes
than anyone.

Did you hear
about the cannibal

who wouldn't
eat clowns

because they
tasted funny?

Arthur:
The Brain would have the record

for saying the most things to me

that I don't
understand.

Arthur, I must protest.

Your unqualified
pronouncement is dealing

with a minimally
quantified segment

of subjective
reality.

Whoosh!

And I bet D.W. holds the record

for watching the most reruns
of the Mary Moo Cow show.

Mom! Arthur's bothering me!

Mom:
Arthur, could
you come here

for a moment,
please?

Uh-oh...

D.W.:
And I would also hold

the world record for getting
Arthur into trouble

the most times.

( cracking )

( all gasp )

( loud clucking )

This is the Book of Incredible
and Amazing World Records.

I've read
the whole thing.

I think we could break

a world record ourselves.

Wow!

We'd go down in history.

What record are you suggesting?

It could be anything.

This book is full
of world records.

Like there's the tallest man
in the world.

He was eight feet, inches.

( crowd cheering )

Arthur:
There's the record

for the smallest
person in the world.

Just put it down there, please

and keep your thumb out
of the soup.

There's the guy who grew a beard
over feet long.

feet?

Hmm...

And just a few years ago

a guy tried to walk backwards
all around the world.

Backwards?!

Wow!

( panting )

( shivering )

And Thomas Edison has
the world record

for having made the most
inventions-- over a thousand!

Over a thousand?!

I won't break
Edison's record

sitting in
a tree house.

I'd better get busy.

Anyway, if we all work together

we could break
a world record.

I'm going
to break a world
record on my own.

I want my name
in that book, too.

Just think of
the fame and glamour.

I'm going to break
the world record for... um...

not talking.

For not talking? You?

I might talk a lot, but
I can stop any time I want

even long enough... ( gasps )

I've always wanted
a soccer world record.

I know-- I'll kick
the ball in the air

the most times
in a row.

I better go
practice.

I think it would take
too long

for me to grow the
longest beard in the world

but I could break that
"walking backwards" record.

See you later.

I'm going backwards
down the ladder.

This is going to be
an easy record to break.

Whoa!

( thud )

I guess I'll have to break
a world record on my own.

Look, Pal...

cards down--

only , more
to break the world record.

That's Arthur Read.

He made
Arthur Heights

one of the Eight Wonders
of the World.

( shutters clicking )

( reverberating ):
No!

Oops!

( crowd gasps, moans )

Sorry.

D.W., you're not allowed
to come in my room today.

I'm doing something
very important.

I don't want to go in your room.

I have better things to do.

Nadine is setting
the world record

for the most hiccups in a row.

( slams door )

( gasps )

Arthur:
No!

Aren't you glad
you don't have
an older brother?

( hiccups )

Francine:
... ...

If I keep kicking this ball

I could break
a world record today.

You're good, Muffy.

You haven't talked
in two hours.

... ... .

Watch where you're going!

I spoke.

And I have to start over.

Sorry-- I'm still
getting used to
rearview mirrors.

Is it okay to cross now?

( groaning )

Buster:
What are you making?

I'm making the world's largest
popsicle stick bridge

but I feel sick.

I must have eaten
popsicles.

My mom once made
a popsicle stick lampshade

out of popsicle sticks.

I ate all
those popsicles
for nothing?!

No-- you could make the world's
biggest popsicle stick bridge

and get the record for
eating the most popsicles.

( groaning )

And for being
the most sick.

( hiccups )

Muffy and Francine:
Eww! Gross.

I'm just practicing.

Practicing what?

Eating bugs?

Somebody ate of these
in under a minute.

Can you find some
other records to break?

It's really
boring

kicking a
soccer ball
all by myself.

And I just can't
give up talking.

I just have
too much to say.

Well, there was a guy

who once had bees
in his mouth for ten seconds.

Too dangerous.

Another guy blew bubbles
with a tarantula in his mouth.

Too weird.

Another guy got into a bathtub
with rattlesnakes.

Those are
disgusting.

Aren't there any records
more... glamorous?

There was a woman who had
fingernails feet long.

That sounds interesting.

Momsie, can you turn off
my light?

Oh, never mind.

Unfortunately,
fingernails grow

at the rate of only
three inches a year or so.

To break that record

it might take you
years.

It would be fun
putting on nail polish

but I can't wait that long.

Hey, here's a record.

We could all try and make
the world's largest pizza

and we could do it
in just a few days.

Why not?
Okay.

D.W.:
Can I have
a drink?

No, don't!

You just don't
want to share.

( buzzing )

( gasps )

Mom! Arthur's trying to trick me

into eating bugs!

Mom:
Arthur!

( beeping )

Brain:
It's an a*t*matic
flying lawn sprinkler--

the first in the world.

( plane buzzing )

Hey!
Watch it!

Brain:
Sorry, I haven't
worked out

all the bugs yet.

Oh, at this rate

it will take
a thousand years

to b*at
Edison's record.

We were thinking
we could all make

the world's
largest pizza.

But we need you
to figure out how.

Trying to cook the
world's largest pizza

isn't such a bad idea.

Yes!

Brain:
We'll need pounds
of flour

pounds of cheese

and gallons
of tomato sauce.

Muffy, you're in charge
of getting donations.

The ingredients are
going to cost money.

Right-- I'll start
at my dad's.

You two will be
making the rack

to cook the pizza on.

Francine,
get permission

to use the soccer field
for cooking the pizza.

I'll ask my dad
to get barbecue coals.

Buster, since
your mom's a reporter

you can contact the newspapers
and TV stations.

Will do.

Whoa!

"Objects in mirror are closer
than they appear."

are constructing the largest
pizza in the world.

♪ ♪ ♪

( squeals )

Arthur:
With all our ingredients,
we're ready to go tomorrow.

But I'm worried

something will
go wrong.

I'll be there to help.

Me and Nadine are
also trying to break
a world record.

What kind of record
do you want to break?

( hiccups )

( hiccups )

Nadine, I'm
so proud of you.

With each day, you're
closer to breaking
the record.

( hiccups )

( Binky whines )

My arms are going
to fall off

they're so tired.

But we still have so much to do.

I'm starting to think
this is impossible.

We're going to take
a rest break.

You can't.

We're already an hour
behind schedule.

But I'm exhausted.

We'll be back
in a little while.

Arthur:
Buster should
be here soon.

He can take
your place.

I think I'll take five, too.

This is terrible.

We're going to get
into the Book of
World Records

as the biggest flop
in history.

I'll be humiliated.

That's Arthur Read.

He's the one
responsible

for that giant
pizza fiasco.

It was one of the most
embarrassing moments
in history.

This was the dumbest idea
I've ever had.

I should...

Here comes Buster.

He's brought the
whole town with him.

And look, Francine and Muffy
are back, too.

This is great!

( giggling )

( struggling )

( onlookers exclaiming )

The biggest pizza in the world
is now ready to eat.

( cheering )

Yay!
All right!

Arthur:
Thanks for bringing
all those people.

Elwood City has made
the biggest pizza
in the world.

Arthur, how far
do I have to walk

to get the record
for walking backward?

I think it was
, miles.

Oh...

Well, I'm going
to need lots of carbs.

Uh... Buster...

Oh, no!

Did I just walk forward?

Uh... yeah.

Oh, well, I guess
I'll start over.

D.W.:
And how long is it

to break the world
hiccuping record?

One man had the hiccups
for over years.

Nadine won't be happy
to hear that.

( groaning )

Ever since the beginning of time

people have been trying
to conquer darkness.

( sighs )

( wind blowing )

Things got better
as the years went along.

Torches were a little better...

( sighing )

but not as good as...

Behold the gas lamp!

All ( in admiration ):
Oh!

( wind howling )

Hmm... the gas lamp didn't
always work perfectly either.

But in the th century, along
came a guy named Thomas Edison.

Man:
I came up with this
thing last night.

I think it may work.

Hey, son, give me a hand.

Touch this wire
to the end, right here.

I knew this incandescent
lamp would light!

Hmm... maybe
it'll catch on.

Needs a snappy name, though.

What about... the "light bulb"?

Sorry, I have
to go invent
the electric motor.

The light bulb really
changed things.

Dark rooms could be
lit for hours.

Whole towns and cities
could be lit at night.

So with all these lights around

no one ever has to be
afraid of the dark, right?

( Arthur screaming )

Arthur:
Someone, turn on the lights!

Yee-ha!

Today's question to consider:

Is there any credence to the
expression "blind as a bat"?

Arthur?

Uh...

No?

Correct.

Brain:
In fact

there has never been
a recorded case

of a bat that cannot see.

Most species have
exceptional night vision.

Thank you, Alan.

As we continue with our cave
study, we will learn more

about bats and other creatures
who live there.

Now, a reminder-- your cave
replicas are due tomorrow.

( screams )

Also, I have
a special announcement.

At the end of the week,
we'll be going on a field trip

to Palisades Park
to explore the Clark Caves.

( kids cheering )

I've only read
about spelunking.

I've never
actually been.

Hey, I want to go
"lunking," too.

It sounds better than
exploring some lame cave.

"Spelunking" means
"cave exploration."

It should be

an intriguing
and educational
experience.

Ech, it sounds disgusting!

Now, Muffy...

It could be a little creepy.

The bats...

( laughing )

Arthur, are you afraid of
some little flying rodents?

( others laughing )

No.

Okay, okay, settle down.

The more we study caves, the
less frightening they will seem.

It would be a good idea

to do some additional
reading for tonight.

From your textbooks,
pages to .

( class groans )

( bell rings )

Remember, class

I want to see your best work
on the cave replicas.

Ooh, a cave.

It sounds a little creepy.

That's what I said
in class, but...

Creepy?

It's just a hole in a hill.

What are
you, Arthur

a scaredy-cat?

Well... there are those bats.

I don't like bats.

And dripping
stalactites.

And big,
hairy spiders!

It could be scary.

Arthur's scared
of caves!

Arthur's
scared of caves!

Scaredy-cat,
scaredy-cat!

You're a scaredy-cat!

Dad:
Enough, D.W.

I remember when I was a kid

I was really scared of going
down to my grandparents' cellar.

Now, that was really creepy.

( mouse squeaking )

Dad:
I had this trick, though.

When I had to go
down there by myself

I'd whistle a familiar
and comforting tune.

( whistling "Twinkle,
Twinkle, Little Star" fast )

It worked every time.

You never told me about that.

Well, now I have
nothing to fear.

D.W.'s protecting me.

May I be excused?

I have tons of homework.

Aren't you scared to walk
up those spooky stairs

all alone, Arthur?

( D.W. making
scary howling sounds )

D.W., cut it out.

D.W. ( spookily ):
You are scared...

You are really, really scared.

No, I am really, really annoyed.

I'm a big, scary bat.

I'm going to get you.

Ooh, I'm going to get
you, Arthur Read.

Out, now!

Admit it, Arthur.

( spookily ):
You're a scaredy-cat.

( taunting ):
Did little Arthur have

some scary nightmares
last night?

Cut it out,
Francine.

Class, let's take a look
at the cave replicas.

Hmm... nice bats.

Oh, very realistic
moss, Muffy

though the Jacuzzi
in the corner

may be a bit much.

( gasps )

Hmm...

ingenious use
of cheese spread.

Very nice, but
I don't think

there are usually
chickens in caves.

( groans )

Hmm... very
impressive.

To properly view my cave

we must pull the blinds
and turn off all the lights.

Are you sure we need
all the lights off?

Brain:
Definitely-- to get
the full impact

of the glow-in-the-dark
stalactites and stalagmites

requires total darkness.

Class:
Wow, great!

Brain:
Cave formations consist
of calcium carbonate deposits.

Stalagmites rise up
from the cave's floor.

I designed these fruit bats

from pictures my bad took
in the Carlsbad Caverns.

Disgusting!

Don't bats give you rabies?

Not true.

Most bats
are harmless.

They don't
bother people.

Okay, so let's get
those lights back on.

( taunting ):
Arthur... don't
worry, baby.

We'll turn on
the lights real soon.

( cackling )

( sighs )

Francine, it's
perfectly natural

if the thought
of going into a cave

is a bit frightening
to some people.

D.W.:
Help!

Help... Arthur!

Help, help!

Arthur, help! Help!

( screams )

Scared?

Uh... no.

( howling spookily )

Let me guess--

you're supposed
to be a bat, right?

Oh, stop faking it.

You're scared out
of your underwear

from all this "caves
and bats" stuff.

( howling )

Good night, D.W.

Nice try.

( howling )

Bats:
Ooh... we're going
to get you...

Wait up, Arthur...

Wait for us...

We're coming
to get you.

Scared?

Okay, stay calm.

It's only D.W. and Francine.

Arthur's a scaredy-cat

who's afraid
of the dark.

You'll never get
out of here...

We're going
to get you...

Francine:
All hope is
lost, Arthur...

I have to get out of here.

Oh, no...

Mom:
Arthur... Arthur...

Arthur, time
to get up.

Today's your
field trip
to the caves.

Guide:
We're about to go into
a beautiful and very old cave.

In fact, we think
this cave started forming

over ten million years ago.

The cave is long,
over five miles

and its deepest level is
almost , feet down.

Now, remember, we are just
visitors in this cave.

The bats and fungi live there.

Take nothing
but pictures;

leave nothing
but footprints.

Okay... group A,
come with me.

So... you going
to chicken out?

No...

I'm not.

There's some of
our winged friends.

Okay, let's explore.

Buster:
Creeped out yet?

Arthur:
No, I'm fine.

( bats squeaking )

( shrieks )

It's okay, Muffy.

( bats squeaking )

We'll walk single file
through a narrow tunnel.

Use your lights;
put your hand

on the shoulder
of the person
in front of you.

You're safe, there's
nothing to worry about.

At the end of the tunnel,
we can look down

into an area we
call Bat Basement.

Buster:
This place could really
drive you batty.

( laughing nervously )

( noise in distance )

( Muffy shrieks )

Look at all those bats!

( Mr. Ratburn and Francine
screaming )

Please, no screaming.

You'll wake the bats.

Please, kids.

Mr. Ratburn:
Oh, no!

Oh, no!

( bats squeaking loudly )

( Mr. Ratburn and Francine
screaming )

Guide:
Please, calm down.

Take some deep breaths,
and then hold on

to each other's shoulders
and follow me out.

Can't we walk
any faster?

It's so dark, and there
were all these bats.

There must have been
hundreds of them.

Bats are harmless,
Mr. Ratburn.

They don't want anything
to do with humans.

But don't the vampire
ones suck animals' blood?

Well... yes, but these
aren't vampire bats.

Maybe one of them is.

How do you know for sure?

I know.

Trust me.

Keep walking.

We'll be out of here
unharmed in no time.

Whenever I'm afraid, I whistle
a familiar and comforting tune.

I have an idea.

Maybe it would be helpful
if we whistled a familiar tune.

You think?

( whistling "Row,
Row, Row Your Boat" )

( all join in )

Pardon me for
that upsetting

and, frankly,
unexpected
panic att*ck.

Thank you for helping
Francine and me

out of the cave
so calmly.

Arthur, your whistling
really helped.

You were
so scared, Francine!

( laughing )

You should have
seen your face!

You were a mess.

I wasn't
that scared.

Yeah, right!

Check this out.

Watch out, a bat!

Aah, get it away!

( laughing )

I'm going to get you,
Binky Barnes!

You'll be sorry
you ever took
those pictures!

Stop it!

Binky Barnes, you're history!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen
to your heart ♪

♪ Listen to the b*at ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other. ♪

Hey!

Hey!