05x05 - The Lousy Week/You Are Arthur

[bunniefuu]

♪ Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view. ♪

( laughs )

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen
to your heart ♪

♪ Listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together and make things
better by working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other. ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day. ♪

Hey!

Arthur:
Hey, D.W.

Hey!

Whoa!

( crash )

Soldiers:
Hut, hut, hut, hut

hut, hut, hut, hut!

Ah, finally, the summit!

( panting )

It's beautiful, sir!

( gasps )

Is that a comb?

General:
No, son, that's
just a hair clip.

Well, no time for sightseeing.

All right,
you lousy bunch of bugs!

I want to see a nit

on every single hair
in a ten-inch radius.

Now!

Lice:
Hut, hut, hut, hut,
hut, hut, hut, hut.

General:
Mm-hmm, yes.

Good job.

Uh, General?

You've never actually
seen a comb, have you?

Yes, I've seen
a comb, son.

In fact, it took off
my fifth leg.

But I lived!

And I'll
keep on living

until we've conquered

every head
in this entire city!

We are lice, son!

And nothing can ever
get rid of us.

Nothing!

( laughing hysterically )

( Muffy grumbling )

Hey!

Oops.

Nice hair.

Thanks.

Not his-- yours.

I love those purple highlights.

( gasps )

( band practicing march tune )

Sorry.

Muffy:
Francine!

I'm open, I'm open!

( cries out )

Muffy, you said
you were open!

You could have scored!

I'm sorry, Francine.

It's this
darn itchy head.

It's been bothering me all day.

Go to the nurse.

It might be head lice.

My sister had it
and it started with an itch.

I couldn't have head lice.

That's something
that dirty people get.

That's not true.

Look at Buster.

He's never had
head lice.

Muffy:
You see, Suzette, my nanny,
washes my hair every day

so I couldn't have...

( grumbling )

That was in my hair?

I'm afraid so.

Help! I'm covered
in bugs!

Actually, head lice
only live on the head.

What if the other kids find out?

I'll be treated
like a "leopard"!

I'll be "ostrich-ized"!

Muffy!

I have
your math homework!

( bugs buzzing )

( squawks )

( gasps )

Oh, Ms. Flynn, promise
you won't tell anyone!

Please,
please, please!

Calm down, Muffy.

If you and your parents
follow my instructions

you'll be able
to get rid of the lice.

Hi!

Francine, what are
you doing here?!

I wanted to see
what the nurse said.

So, do you have
head lice?

Me? Head lice?

I don't have
head lice!

The nurse said
that I was just...

thinking too hard.

Uh, why are we here?

What's the meaning
of life?

Which came first,
the chicken or the egg?

Hey, Muffy!

You dropped
your hat!

Ooh! So soft!

Get ready.

The new head is approaching.

Head for the scalp!

On the double!

Lice:
Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!

Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!

General:
Contact!

Francine:
Mmm!

( with French accent ):
Bend your head.

We have to put
the "Nit Hit"
lice shampoo on.

( sobbing )

This is the worst thing
that's ever happened to me.

Life is so unfair!

Muffy, dear,
you're overreacting.

Even I had head lice
when I was a child.

Ah, yes, I remember it well.

( sobbing )

This is the worst thing
that's ever happened to me!

Life is so unfair!

You'll have
to stay home tomorrow

and we'll have to get
everything cleaned--

the sheets and towels,
your clothes...

even the carpet.

Of course,
we could use this

as an opportunity to redecorate!

Yippee!

Francine:
Have you seen Muffy?

I have her hat.

No-- maybe she's
out sick today.

Hey, that's
really pretty!

Nice hat!

Scrumptious!

Oh, it feels
so expensive!

( clearing throat )

I have
an important announcement.

Yesterday,
a case of head lice

was reported at school.

This week,
you will all have

to have your hair checked
by me every morning.

( gasps )

I knew it!

Muffy did have
head lice!

Also, it's very important
that you do not wear

anybody else's coats,
scarves or hats.

We want to try and keep
the head lice from spreading.

Lice:
Hut, hut, hut, hut!

Lieutenant:
We landed four days ago, sir.

We now have bugs
on ten heads.

Excellent!

Soon, the entire school
will be at our feet.

( sniffing )

What's that smell, sir?

Hair gel, son.

Isn't it wonderful?

( inhales deeply )

Ah! I love the smell
of hair gel in the morning.

It smells like...

( lieutenant yells )

General, what's happening?

Help! Help!
Help! Help...!

Sorry, Nigel.

Oh...

I knew I should have
gone to business school.

All:
Hut, hut, hut, hut!

This'll do
the trick.

Mayonnaise?

You're going to put
mayonnaise on my head?

Sure! It's what
your Grandma used on me

when I was a kid.

D.W. ( taunting ):
Ha-ha!

Mayo-head! Mayo-head!

Cut it out!

Daddy, now put
cheese and tomatoes

on Arthur's head!

That's right,
laugh it up, D.W.

You won't find it so funny
in a minute.

You're next.

Me?

Why me?

I don't have
head mice.

They're called head lice, honey.

And we all
might have them.

Mom:
I'm sorry, D.W.

but there may be lice
hiding in their fur.

It'll only be
for a few weeks.

Weeks?!

Wait!

There.

So the animals
can breathe.

Good-bye, Poofles!

Good-bye, Moo-Moo!

Good-bye, Tooky!

I'll never forget any of you.

Cut it out, boy!

Dad! Pal, keeps trying
to eat my head!

( sighs )

I can't wait
for this to be over.

( cap squishes against pillow )

Hut, hut, hut, hut!

Binky:
So, let me get this straight.

I get to watch TV
for hours and hours

instead of doing homework?

Right-- you've got
a ton of nits

and they're
very hard to get out.

This is so cool!

I love lice!

I'm clean!

I'm clean!

Ooh!
Ooh!

Oops! Sorry, Francine.

You should be!

It was an accident.

I didn't mean to knock you down.

Not for that!

For giving me lice!

I can't get rid
of them.

We've tried everything!

Well, you must be
doing something wrong.

Yeah, talking to you.

You started
this whole thing.

You probably have
a million lice by now.

For your information,
Ms. Frensky

I am nit free!

So, ha!

Muffy:
You're doing it all wrong!

I wanted the Big Dipper
above my bed.

( sighs )

( gasps )

Un pou!

Gesundheit.

No, Muffy.

The lice,
they are back!

But... but that's impossible!

Man:
Did you know that this old cigar
box you were going to throw out

is actually worth $ ?

Thirty-seven dollars?

Well, bless
my toes!

I can't take it anymore!

Five straight nights
of mindless television.

Can I go to bed,
please, Mom?

Not yet, honey.

( exasperated ):
Oh!

Now we're using olive oil.

It seems to work,
and Pal doesn't eat it.

Well, I hope it works.

I wonder why I haven't
gotten head lice.

Everybody else seems
to have them.

( hollow, muffled breathing )

This place
is disgusting!

Louse:
Ugh! Let's go back
to the teacher's head!

Muffy:
I didn't give you lice!

You gave me lice!

But you gave
them back to me.

Prove it!

Prove you didn't!

Brain:
Hey, calm down,
you guys.

I've been doing some research
on head lice.

The articles say it's impossible
to tell who gave it to whom.

But lice can be harder
to get rid of

when you have
long hair.

They said we were going
to look like models.

We do--
boy models.

Hmm.

We might be able to do

some pretty fun things
with this haircut.

Francine:
Hey, Binky, any nits?

Nope!

I never thought I'd say this

but it's good to be
back in school.

You said it!

Hey, you can't...

You're in the...

( yelling )

( Muffy and Francine laughing )

Two weeks since
our forces landed

and now I'm
the last louse alive.

The school has defeated us.

The bunny!

If I can just get to his head,
I can hatch a new army!

I will survive!

Buster:
Hey, George.

Going to get
your head checked?

( louse screaming )

( kids chatting )

Louse:
Help me! Help me!

( splat )

Treasure Island,
one of my favorite books.

When I read it,
I imagine I'm a pirate

like Long John Silver.

Avast! Thar's the "X."

Dig up the buried treasure, lad.

Human treasure, lad,
not dog treasure.

Keep digging.

Okay, you can stop
digging now.

Imagining I'm someone else

is one of the things
I love about reading.

But I wonder what it'd be like

if I could actually
be someone else

like Mr. Ratburn.

( Ratburn clears throat )

Good morning, class.

Let's start the day off
with a little math quiz.

( students groan )

Ratburn:
Hmm... that wasn't
a very big groan.

Maybe I'm getting
too soft on them.

On second thought,
let's start the day

with a big math test!

( students groan louder )

Ah! That's more like it.

Hey, I have an idea!

Why don't you imagine what
it's like to be me for a day

and I'll imagine
what it's like to be you?

Okay, ready?

( hypnotically ):
You are becoming me...

You are becoming me...

You are becoming me...

You are becoming me...

( Arthur yawns )

Arthur:
Ten toes, ten fingers.

Yep, I'm all here.

( yawns )

( grunts )

( doll squeaks )

Good morning, Arthur.

D.W.:
Arthur!

Stop talking to yourself.

Do you have any idea
what time it is?

It's only : .

Oh, so that's what it says.

Well, you better get moving
or you'll be late for training.

Training? For what?

( Pal whimpers )

The K race-- it's today!

Oh, no, I completely forgot
I signed up for it.

Care to enter the library's
K race, Arthur?

It's to raise money for
a new children's reading room.

Gee, I don't know.

How far is three kilometers?

Brain:
It's exactly
. miles.

The most we've ever run
in school is half a mile.

It might be too long for you.

So, why are you
signing up?

My dad and I run
a lot on the weekends.

Three kilometers will be
a snap for me.

Arthur:
Huh! Too long for me?

We'll see about that.

( clears throat )

K, huh?

No sweat.

. miles-- that really seems
like a lot now

but I'd like to show the Brain

I can run just as far
as he can.

I guess a little training
couldn't hurt.

Arthur:
Ouch! Ouch!

Hey!

Ow!

Ow! You're hurting me.

D.W.:
It's for your own good, Arthur.

You should stretch
before your trainers get here.

Trainers?

I thought you
were my trainer.

Hi, Arthur.

Ready for
your workout?

Arthur:
Oh, no.

Trust me, Arthur.

If you can survive an hour with
them, the race will be a snap.

( Arthur groans )

( panting )

( giggling ):
I've got you now!

Arthur:
That was close.

Not close enough!

No!

( Arthur sputtering )

... ...

... ... ...

Arthur:
You already said .

I don't know
what comes after .

Tommy:
Hey, Timmy!

I bet I can spin the rope
faster than you.

Timmy:
Cannot.

Can, too.

Cannot.

Arthur:
Hey, guys, slow down.

It's too fast.

I can't keep up.

Stop.

Aah!

D.W.:
Arthur...

Never say "stop"
when you're jumping rope.

( Arthur groans )

Okay, run to that tree.

And back.

Now to the sandbox.

( panting heavily )

Pick up the
purple dinosaur.

Now bring it
back... quick.

( panting and gasping )

Thanks.

( twins giggling )

D.W.:
Hey! They stole
my dinosaur!

( Arthur chewing
noisily, gulping )

Arthur wants
some more pancakes, Dad.

Arthur:
I do?

You need lots of crabs

so you'll have energy
for the race.

"Carbs," D.W.

It's short for "carbohydrates."

D.W.:
Trust me, Arthur.

( Arthur groaning )

I ate too much.

Mom, could you slow down?

I feel a little carsick.

You know, Arthur,
if you feel nauseous

you don't have
to run.

I could just skip the race.

But what if the library
can't raise enough money

for the children's
reading room?

Isn't it wonderful?

It certainly is.

( knocking on wall )

Man:
Mr. Haney, this is the foreman
of the building crew.

You are five dollars short

so we had to leave out
some features

like doors and windows.

Wait, don't go.

I have five dollars right here!

Foreman:
Throw in another ten,
and we'll give you a roof, too.

( thunder )

We're doomed!

And it's all because Arthur
signed up for the race

but didn't run.

Hmm.

No, I should run.

I feel okay.

D.W.:
I know what
you need, Arthur.

Let's see...
I had it just last week.

Something to settle
your stomach.

( insect buzzing )

Arthur:
Eww.

Mom, pull over... quick.

Hi, Arthur.

You don't look
quite yourself today.

Arthur:
Really?

I was a little carsick
on the ride over

but now I feel fine.

No, that's not it.

Is there someone
inside your head

watching everything you do
on a TV set?

( knocks glass )

Arthur:
Cut it out.

Hey, Arthur.

Arthur:
Whoa!

Brain:
Oh, these are my new Condor X
low riders with pump action.

They inflate
when I clap my hands...

( claps )

and give me an extra spring
to my step.

Arthur:
Oh, yeah.

Well, these are
my, uh, lucky sneakers.

I wear them for all my races.

Well, don't push yourself
too hard.

Remember, Arthur, walking across
the finish line still counts.

Arthur:
Yeah, but finishing before you
would be a lot of fun.

On your mark...

Wait!

Isn't the Elwood City Times
covering the race?

I want to look my best.

Ahem.

On your mark, get set...

( starter p*stol fires )

( Arthur gasps )

Oh, no!

( cheering and applause )

( Arthur panting )

Huh?
Hey!

Arthur:
Hi, Grandma.

Hi... Brain.

Hmm?

How did you...

Sorry, can't talk now.

Got to run.

( panting )

( chuckling )

Actually, this isn't so bad.

I don't feel tired at all.

Hey, I might even win this race.

( cheering )

Congratulations, Arthur.

Yours was
the fastest time

in Elwood City history.

And we've decided to name
the new reading room

the Read Reading Room,
after you.

You ran
a great race!

You should be very
proud of yourself.

You're doing really well.

You know, we should
run together someday.

Arthur:
Okay.

But not today!

( claps )

( shoes squeaking
as they inflate )

Yoo-hoo, over here!

Try to get my good side.

Arthur:
Muffy, watch out.

There's a...

Muffy:
Ow!

Ow!

( sobbing )

Arthur:
Muffy, are you all right?

( sobbing ):
No, I'm not all right.

My new outfit is ruined.

Arthur:
I'll never catch up
with the Brain now.

Oh, well, there will be
other races.

( panting )

( crowd cheering )

D.W.:
Come on, Arthur!

Just a few more steps.

You can do it!

( crowd cheering )

( applause )

Dad:
Yay!

That's my boy!
Way to go!

Arthur:
Thanks.

( gulping loudly )

D.W.:
Don't drink
too much, Arthur.

You don't want to practice
on a full stomach.

Arthur:
Practice?

For what?

The marathon, of course.

It can't be much longer
than this race.

Maybe it's ten Ks
or four Ls or a Q.

We'll ask Tommy and Timmy
this afternoon.

Arthur:
Oh, brother!

( gulping loudly )

Wow! Check it out.

I'm famous.

That's even better
than winning the race.

Well, I hope you enjoyed
being me for a day.

I really liked being you.

But next time, let's switch.

You run the race,
and I'll watch me on TV.

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen
to your heart ♪

♪ Listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other. ♪

Hey!

Hey!