05x06 - The Election/Francine Goes to w*r

[bunniefuu]

♪ Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view. ♪

( laughs )

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen
to your heart ♪

♪ Listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together and make things
better by working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other. ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day. ♪

Hey!

Hey, D.W.!

Hey!

Whoa!

Muffy:
...and will, to the best of
my ability preserve, protect

and defend
the Constitution
of United States.

Congratulations to
you, President Mary
Alice Crosswire!

( cheering )

Thank you so much!

As your President, ask not
what I can do for you

rather what you can do for me!

Arthur:
Hey, Muffy!

It's me!

Our future is bright together

if we don't forget the past.

Arthur:
Muffy, remember me?

It's Arthur!

You know me!

Lakewood Elementary,
remember?

Your friend, Arthur?

Hey, Binky,
you're here, too!

Can you believe
Muffy's president?

Why is she pretending
not to remember me?

Security, take him away.

What're you doing?

Is this some kind of joke?

An order's an order.

The President said
to take you away--

No joke.

Muffy, we were
in Mr. Ratburn's
class together!

Remember our class election?

Don't ever mention
that election to me again!

( grunts )

She really takes things
way too seriously.

( siren wailing )

Mr. Ratburn:
And to conclude our "Government
in Action" unit, I thought

it would be informative to hold
a mock presidential election.

Anyone who'd like
to run is welcome.

We will look at each
aspect of the election:

campaigning, pinpointing
important issues

debating, and of course, voting.

Can't you guys see
me as president?

It's a lot of
responsibility.

Er... Francine,
I don't know

if you could handle
all the campaigning

and listening to the "people."

I think you'd actually
be really good

behind the scenes.

You'd be a perfect
campaign manager.

You think so?

Absolutely.

I think the whole
thing is lame.

I think it's pretty interesting.

Hey, why don't you run, Arthur?

You'd be a great
president.

Really?

Everyone likes you--
you could win.

You're joking, right?

Class, we have
our first candidate.

I know you've
all been waiting

so I'm making it
official:

I'm running for president.

I nominate Arthur
for president.

But...

Arthur?

( class encouraging Arthur )

Come on,
I'll help you.

( class chanting ):
Arthur, Arthur!

Oh... okay.

( class cheering )

Buster:
You have to write
a speech, Arthur.

How about, "Four score
and six years ago

I decided to become president,
so vote for me!"

I don't think so.

You need organization, Arthur.

Political campaigns are
staffed by professionals

and well-financed.

Relax, all you need
are a few good jokes.

How exciting-- our
first strategy meeting.

Are you writing,
Francine?

Sue Ellen, I need
slogan ideas--

something better than
"Muffy for President."

Catchy, think "catchy."

Francine, we have
to brainstorm

about pinpointing
hot-button school issues.

Hot-button issues?

Okay...

Sue Ellen, make
an appointment

with my salon
for a "power" hairdo.

I need something presidential.

Mr. Ratburn:
The campaign should not
be about personalities

but about important issues.

Each candidate should think

about what's important
to them and the school.

For example, Thomas Jefferson
doubled the country's size

when he made
the Louisiana Purchase.

Now that I've made
the Louisiana Purchase

I want more!

First I'll buy Paris--

they have fabulous clothes.

After that, Italy--
they have

the most expensive
and beautiful shoes

in the whole world...

Mr. Ratburn:
And Teddy Roosevelt's plan
to keep world peace

was: "Speak softly and
carry a big stick."

All you have to do is:

(whispers):
Speak softly, and...

carry a big stick.

It's easy.

Mr. Ratburn:
And who can forget our st
President, Herbert Hoover

who promised
"a chicken in every pot"?

Buster:
As your president, I ask you:

Why'd the chicken
cross the stovetop?

To hop into this pot!

( crowd is silent )

Yeesh... tough crowd.

Hey, Francine,
want to come to
the Sugar Bowl?

Sure.

Francine Frensky

no talking
to the enemy!

We have a :
photo session.

Arthur:
I can't believe
how mean Muffy was.

She needs to lighten up.

She's just excited about
pretending to be a politician.

Okay, how about this one?

What did one eye
say to the other?

"Don't look now, but between
us, something smells."

Arthur, you're
not even funny.

Why would anyone vote for you?

I'm not listening
to you, D.W.

( humming )

So if you were president, what
would you change in school?

Well, I don't know yet.

Now leave me alone.

Boy, you're in trouble.

What about your
campaign colors?

(sing-song):
I can't hear you.

Yellow and Blue?

No, too boring.

I've got it!

Pink and white!

D.W., relax

it's just a little
class election.

There won't be posters
or anything like that.

Buster:
"When Times are Dire

Vote Crosswire!"

Arthur:
"It's the
cafeteria, silly.

For better lunches,
Vote for Muffy"?

Buster:
"Not a Tuffy,
Vote for Muffy!"

Muffy:
Good morning.

Have a button.

Please, vote for me.

So Arthur, how's
your campaign going?

I'm really
looking forward

to having a debate
in front of everyone!

Yeah, sure,
a debate.

Good morning, Buster.

Have a button.

You look fabulous today!

Mr. Ratburn:
Muffy has certainly kicked off
her campaign with style.

Very nice posters and buttons.

I'm sure Arthur has some
big plans of his own.

( gulps )

Don't worry, I have
three new jokes.

Forget it.

We need to get some real
campaign plans... fast.

( camera whirring )

Arthur:
How are you doing?

I hope you'll vote for me.

Vote Muffy for free muffins.

That's right,
every morning--

Muffy and muffins, get it?

Vote for me!

I mean, look at my great
campaign buttons

and then look at Arthur's
inferior little leaflet.

It's all
about quality!

Vote for Arthur

he'll bring his dog to school
and it'll make a huge mess.

Do we want
Pooper Scoopers
in our school?

It's your choice--
Arthur or Muffy?

Hey, that's not fair --

You think politics are fair!?

You're so naive.

Oh, good morning,
Mr. Ratburn, sir.

Free muffin from Muffy?

Ooh, don't mind if I do.

Do you think
she's right?

Mm... I don't
know, Arthur.

maybe she's
on to something.

Before we begin the debate,
I just want to compliment

our candidates
on running such clean--

and in Muffy's case,
tasty- campaigns.

And now, on to the debate!

Candidates, please expound

upon the key issues
of your campaigns.

Uh, if you elect me president, I
think the most important issues

are... cleaner school grounds,
a "fun-raiser" to buy more books

for the school library...
a "fun-raiser," get it?

A little joke there.

( only Buster laughing )

Another issue is more really
good school assemblies

and field trips.

When you elect
me president

I will make sure
this school gets:

better lighting in the girls'
bathrooms-- they're so drab--

a new playground to replace
the ancient one we have now.

I mean, hello-o, why can't
we have rides out there?

And let's face it,
we deserve

some gourmet food
in the cafeteria.

Candidates, how will you
implement your plans?

We would work together.

It's important that we
all pitch in, as one

and learn to cooperate.

It can be fun and productive.

If I win, no one will
have to lift a finger--

my father can
pay for it all.

After all, he owns
Crosswire Motors.

"They make the best
deals on wheels!

Don't walk, RUN,
to Crosswire Motors!"

at the corner of Fifth...

Time's up!

Excellent give and take.

You both pinpointed
important school issues.

Now, class, you, must
carefully consider

our exciting candidates'
positions as you prepare

for tomorrow's vote.

( Binky snoring )

( laughing )

Binky?

Exciting candidates?

My dirty socks are more
exciting than those two!

Why do you say that, Binky?

Because they are.

I mean, if I were
running for president

I'd just say, "If elected,
no more homework!"

( kids approve )

And you can eat snacks in class

whenever you want to!

And you can be absent once
a week, no questions asked!

( kids cheering )

Binky for
President!

Hmm, snacks in class...

Perhaps you should consider

mounting a write-in
campaign, Binky.

Me?

( class cheering )

Remember, everyone,
voting is tomorrow!

Muffy and Arthur, please
stay for a moment.

I think it would be appropriate

to add Binky Barnes
to the ballot.

What?!

He's late, and loud, and
unfit to be president.

Plus, we can't encourage
his preposterous ideas!

I'm very opposed
to letting him run.

I'm sure Arthur agrees.

Well, I don't know.

It's a free country, and
anyone can run, right?

Muffy:
Free country!

I spent a lot on this campaign

and I'm not going
to let some big buffoon

bully his way
into this election!

It's not fair
if Binky can run.

It's just...

Binky does have as much
right as you do, Muffy.

That's what democracy
is all about.

Binky Barnes is
on the ballot.

This is all your fault!

If you had any backbone

you would've agreed with me.

Vote for me today, you'll
get free muffins every day!

Vote Muffy, Eat Muffins.

Well, class,
the democratic process

has proven itself once again

to be wonderful, exciting,
and often full of surprises.

The winner is
Binky Barnes!

Yes! Binky "the Body" Barnes
is your new president!

From now on,
no more homework!

Snacks in class,
all the time!

Thank you for your
impassioned acceptance.

Class dismissed.

Uh, Binky, remember

this was
a mock election.

But I'm still
in charge, right?

Let's review the meaning
of the word "mock."

I think Binky
deserved to win.

Yeah, his ideas
were pretty good.

How can you
say that!

No one took this
election seriously.

What do I have to do
to win around here?

Binky:
Loyal subjects

lunch and recess only
for the rest of the week!

I was the best
candidate.

I spent
the most money,
gave out muffins.

it's not fair!

I'm mad at you,
Arthur

for saying it was okay
for Binky to run

and I won't forget
this, ever!

I told you Muffy takes things
way too seriously.

I hope she
never loses
a real election.

Binky, it's not
practical to allow

pro-wrestling
matches to be shown

on TVs in each
classroom all day!

( groans in protest )

Francine:
If you say that again

you're going to get it!

Francine is great

but it's really not
a good idea to get her mad.

You take that back!

I'm the nicest person

you've ever known!

( laughing )

Oh yeah?

What about the time
you were mean to Fern?

That mouse?

What's she going to do?

Be quiet at me?

( sarcastically ):
Ooh, I'm so scared.

Arthur:
Or when you started bossing
everyone around

during the play.

If you don't do it right,
I'll uninvent you

and then you won't be
in my play!

Arthur:
Or how about when we bet
you couldn't be nice for a week

and you practically lost!

That is so not fair!

You put together
all my worst moments.

I could make even
you look bad by
doing that!

Oh yeah? Try.

Okay, how about
the time you cheated

at that stupid
"No Guessing" game?

Oh, my shoe's untied.

Francine:
Or, hey, what about when
you stole D.W.'s snowball?

( Arthur laughing )

That's not true, it was
just her imagination!

I didn't steal the snowball;
D.W. lost it!

Besides, everybody knows
I'm nicer than you.

I almost
never get mad!

I'm just
as nice as you...

( gong resonates
as Arthur yells )

Would you watch it?

Your big old face

is getting
all over my homework.

Quit it!

You wish
you had my face!

You're dead meat!

You are
so in trouble!

Dad!

( knocking )

What was that?

( knocking )

I think
we might be haunted.

( both screaming )

Don't be silly--
there's no such thing as ghosts.

It must be our
new neighbor,
Mrs. Pariso.

Well, what
kind of a loser

bangs on a wall
like that?

She probably wanted you
to be quiet.

You girls
can get pretty
loud sometimes.

( playing loudly )

Excuse me.

Excuse me!

I'm sorry, but you're
going to have to stop

making that noise.

It's not noise, it's music.

And I always play up here.

Yeah, but we got
this new tenant...

a Mrs. Parro-something.

Anyway, she phoned and said

"If that racket doesn't
cease and desist

I will call
the police."

Her again?

Tell her to go
suck an egg.

I don't think I can do that.

Oh, all right.

That Mrs. Parrot-face
is going to get it!

All clear.

( in deep voice ):
Uh, Mrs. Pariso?

Uh, this is Ed... um...

Butkin!

This is Ed Butkin

and I just wanted to know
if your refrigerator was on?

Hello? Hello?

That's not
what you say!

Give me that.

Mrs. Pariso?

My friend,
Francine... oops!

I mean, my friend,
Ed, meant to ask you

if your refrigerator
was running.

Hello? Hello?

She hung up on me!

Muffy, you gave me away!

Don't worry,
she's an old lady.

She won't even remember.

What have I told you

about making prank phone calls?

Um... not to do it unless
it was absolutely necessary?

Francine...

Okay, okay, I know
I shouldn't have--

but she started it!

She complained
about my playing drums

and she was banging
on my wall and...

Francine Frensky

I don't care
if Mrs. Pariso

threw a water balloon
at you.

She is an elderly lady

and you will treat her
with respect.

But...
No buts.

You're grounded
for two days.

Great.

That is so unfair!

How'd she know
it was you, anyway?

Guess.

You've got to
do something,
Francine.

Next you'll be arrested
for watching TV!

Maybe you could get her
to move somewhere else.

Yeah, but how?

When our condo
had termites

about three people
moved out.

Hey! I could give you
some of our termites!

Brain:
It would take
about three years

for them to get established.

But you could tell her
there were termites

or rats or something.

That is a great idea!

Leave the whole thing to me.

Okay, how's this?

"We don't mean
to scare you

"but the bilding
is about to fall down

"due too to many rats
in the basemint.

They are chewing
the ciment."

"E."

Cement is spelled
with an "E."

Oh...

"They are chewing the cement
and becoming a menace.

"So if you know
what is good for you

"you will move away
as soon as you can.

Signed, the Manager."

That's perfect! Thanks!

Just spill some coffee
around the corners

and it will look
totally real.

( door creaking )

( gasps )

Whew!

( knock at door )

What are you doing?

Don't ask.

You can thank me
tomorrow.

You've got a letter
on your plate, Francine.

( gasps )

This means w*r!

What did you say?

Uh, nothing.

Francine:
You sure this will work?

I am totally sure.

She won't be able

to withstand the terror.

You ready?

Mrs. Pariso, Mrs. Pariso...

I have come here
to haunt you.

( ghostly moaning
as spoons rattle )

You must leave here
before it's too late.

Leave here before
it's too late!

( ghostly moaning
as spoons rattle )

This is stupid.

Wait, I hear
something!

I think the spirits
are answering!

( people complaining loudly )

Both:
Uh-oh.

Made it.

As soon as
the coast is clear

put this spider
on her doormat.

Yuck, I hate spiders.

It never fails.

( blowing raspberry )

Oh, my gosh!

Spider, spider,
spider, spider...

How did that get up there?

Nah.

Father:
Do you realize three people
called to complain

about the noise last night?

It wasn't noise, it was...
sound effects.

Your mother and I
have been trying to decide

what to do about you...

and I think we've
finally found a solution.

I know, I know--
grounded for three days

and I have to take out
the garbage.

Not quite.

Mrs. Pariso has invited you
for tea next Saturday

and you have
gratefully accepted!

What!

All"
No way!

What am I
going to do?

I'd rather
eat dog food!

Wow, even I don't
want to eat dog food.

Muffy:
I bet she's got mice
and bats and things.

You'd better get a rabies shot.

If I'm not in school on Monday

just remember
how much you liked me, okay?

Should one of us go with her?

Uh-uh.
No.

Here goes nothing.

You must be Francine.

You must be
Mrs. Pariso.

I knew I'd like you.

Come on in!

Somehow I didn't
picture you
in a dress.

My Mom made me wear it.

Have a seat.

What can I get you?

I thought we were supposed
to have tea.

Forget it--
I hate tea.

Want a soda?

Sure-- you got orange?

It's my favorite.

How do you feel about
chocolate chip cookies?

Good... very good.

Is this you?

In the pictures?
You betchya.

With all these trophies
and stuff?

Let's see...I got to the semis
at Wimbledon, twice

and won a couple of doubles,
but my real sport was riding.

Are you kidding me?

I love horses--
I majorly love horses!

Somehow, I knew
we'd get along.

Have a seat.

Have a cookie.

She's, like, a total athlete!

She plays tennis,
and rides horses

and she even went
to the Olympics once!

Sounds just like you.

She is just like me.

It's weird...

it's like we were...
sisters or something.

She said the reason she was mean
was because she's lonely!

I told her I'd
help her meet people.

As I said,
get to know someone

before you decide
if you like them or not.

Oh, Dad, do you always have
to be right about everything?

Yes...
Yes, I think I do.

Mrs. McGrady, you play bingo
on Thursday nights, right?

You betcha!

I know this lady who
needs some friends.

Could she come
play with you,
do you think?

Sure! The more
the merrier!

: , Moose Lodge.

Great! Thanks!

This is my Dad, Oliver.

Nice to finally
meet you in person.

Come on in
and I'll introduce you

to the rest
of your neighbors.

That's my job, Dad.

Your job is
to answer the door.

Francine:
I told you she was good!

Come on, Francine,
grab a horse!

I've got a few tricks
to show you.

Can I?

I'll be right there!

And this is Arthur...

Muffy... Buster...
and that's Brain.

Wow, You look nice for a witch.

She's not a witch,
you doof-brain.

Oh... but I never told you
about the time

I met an old warlock

when I was training
in Rumania--

At least that's
what he said he was--

and he told me
that if I ever wanted

to cast a spell
against an opponent...

It was a lucky day
when I met you, Frensky.

You said it, Mrs. P.

( Mrs. Pariso
and others laughing )

Oh... no...

( laughter continuing)

That is the third time
this week!

What's the big deal?

She's just having fun.

The big deal is

I can't
do my homework.

You created a monster!

( both banging
"shave and a haircut")

Hmm!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen
to your heart ♪

♪ Listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ And I say hey! ♪

♪ Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ Hey! ♪