06x02 - Arthur Plays the Blues/Buster's Sweet Success

[bunniefuu]

♪ Every day when you're

♪
♪ Everybody that you meet

♪
(

♪ And I say hey!

♪
Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day

♪
♪ If we could learn

♪
♪ And get along

♪
♪ You got to listen

♪
♪ Listen to the b*at

♪
♪ Listen to the rhythm,

♪
♪ Open up your eyes,

♪
♪ Get together and make things

♪
♪ It's a simple message

♪
♪ Believe in yourself

♪
♪ For that's the place

♪
♪ And I say hey!

♪
Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day

♪
♪ If we could learn

♪
♪ And get along

♪
Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day

♪
♪ Hey! What a wonderful

♪
Hey!

ARTHUR:

Hey!

Whoa!

( audience applauding )

ARTHUR:
Tonight...

I shall play Zukovski's
Concerto number five.

The "Typhoon" Concerto!

It put Rubenstein
in a body cast!

He's mad, I tell you, mad!

( moans )

( playing incredibly fast )

( cheering and applause )

Thank you, thank you.

You're too kind.

For you, Mrs. Cardigan

the best piano teacher
a boy could ever have.

Oh, Arthur, you're wonderful...
just wonderful.

( "Blue Danube" Waltz
playing on piano )

Wonderful, Arthur.

You've really got
"Blue Danube" down pat.

Thanks-- shall I try
the left hand?

Uh, no, Arthur.

We have to talk about something.

I know, I know...

It's about "Lightly Row."

I promise I'll practice it
for next time.

I'm afraid there won't
be a next time, Arthur.

You see, I'm retiring.

( gasps )

( birds singing )

Yeah!

(

You're retiring? Why?

Because there are other
things I want to do

besides teach piano.

Cookie?

What will
to happen to me?

I'll never get
to Carnegie Hall
without you.

I wouldn't be so sure

Your new teacher actually was
a concert pianist.

New teacher?

Yes, I've made
some calls

and you are going
to be taught

by none other than...

Dr. Frederick Fugue.

Oh, I bet his cookies
aren't as good as yours.

( playing clarinet )

You are going to be taught
by Dr. Frederick Fugue?!

Boy, some kids get
all the breaks.

He's that good?

Good?! He's the best!

I'd give anything
for just one lesson with him

and I don't even play piano.

Of course, your

from all the scales
he makes you do.

That happened to
a friend of mine.

Poor Mikey, still can't
hold an ice cream cone.

And watch out
for the knitting needles.

What does he use those for?

You don't want to know.

Just make sure you
stay on the b*at.

Yep...
"Fugue the Ferocious."

You'll either
end up famous

or drinking through
a straw for the rest
of your life.

( playing eerie prelude
to Bach's Fugue in D )

( thunder crashes )

( crows caw as wind whistles )

( shutters banging )

( door hinge creaks )

Arthur Read, I presume.

That's me.

Moderate digital spreading
and no calluses--

you have been playing for...

½ years?

Y-yes.

Thought so-- follow me.

( car horn honks )

C-sharp-- he should
get that tuned.

( parakeet chirping )

Presto, Tosca, presto.

( chirping more quickly )

What a beautiful piano.

Her name is Giselle.

She's been around
the world with me

from Vienna
to Carnegie Hall.

You've played at Carnegie Hall?

Yes, many times.

Enough chitchat--
let's hear you play.

We'll start
with some scales.

E major!

( playing scales )

C harmonic minor!

A minor!

D major again!

Tempo, tempo!

And... stop.

That will do
for today.

It appears you might
have some talent.

I'd like you
to work on this

for next week's lesson.

Bach's Two-part Inventions.

But this has, like,
a million notes.

No, it only has
, notes.

Let's begin with
the Invention in F Major.

Um, Dr. Fugue,
I'm not sure I can...

Remember, Arthur, genius is

and % perspiration.

So practice,
practice, practice!

Okay, sure, no problem.

See you next week, Dr. Fugue.

, notes...

Mrs. Cardigan would have never
given me something so hard.

Aw... just looking
at this music makes me tired.

( laughing )

I'll do it later.

I've got a whole week.

( yells with glee )

ARTHUR:
I got it!

Arthur, have you
practiced piano yet?

I will, Mom, right after this!

DAD:
Hey, Arthur

please practice piano.

Sure, Dad, as soon
as this game is over.

And then after the book fair

I'm going to Buster's
and help carve his pumpkin.

Your piano lesson
is in two days

and you haven't
practiced at all.

Aw, but...

One hour, Arthur.

( playing tentatively )

( barnyard animal noises begin )

( baaing, crowing, mooing )

D.W., what are you doing?

It's my Funny Farm.

Want to take a whack?

Could you please play
with that in your room?

I'm trying
to practice piano.

Mom's cleaning up there.

But I'll turn the sound down.

( D.W. laughing,
pig squealing )

D.W.:
Back in the barn,
little piggy!

D.W., what is it

for you to be quiet?

( pig squealing )

Got any candy?

( Arthur plays some notes,
wrappers rustling )

( crunching candy )

Mmm... peanut brittle!

D.W.!

What?

I'm just chewing.

Dad, I can't practice.

D.W. is making
too much noise.

I'll take care of her.

It's important you make

a good impression
on your new teacher.

Okay, we're off.

Now you won't have
any distractions.

Thanks, Dad.

(

Okay, Invention in F Major,
here we go.

(

( playing slowly )

( music dissolves into Brahms'
"Lullaby" as sheep bleat )

( bell dings )

Oh, practicing's over.

That wasn't so bad.

Wow, is that you and Yo-Yo Ma?

Indeed, Yo-Yo is
a good friend of mine.

Who's the guy
in the pink suit?

Uh...

that's Liberace.

We had a dueling
pianos match

while working my way
through school.

But we digress.

Let's hear that Bach.

( metronome starts ticking )

( playing haltingly and badly )

Try again!

(

Did you practice?

Yes, I did... I mean...

a little... kind of.

Oh... not really.

If you don't want
to work at this

then I don't want to waste
my time teaching you.

I'm afraid
I have no choice.

( gulping ):
The knitting needles.

Good-bye, Arthur, you're fired.

BUSTER:
You were fired
by your piano teacher?

Just because
I didn't play
the piece perfectly.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Why? I'm thrilled.

It'll be a while
before my parents
find me a new teacher

so I won't have
to practice piano.

What will you do
with all your free time?

I don't know.

The possibilities
are endless.

ANNOUNCER:
A nearly flawless rendition
of the "Emperor" Concerto

by Irina Verkova.

Oh, Phantom,
you are so hideous!

Yet you play
so beautifully!

Play it, Stan.

( begins playing piano )

( groaning )

MOM:
Arthur, I'm going to the mall
to buy socks.

I'll come!

I'm also looking for
some toddler anklets

and some
mid-calf argyles

in sort of brownish-
grayish tones.

Mom, I'm over
at the music store.

And now, Arthur Read will play
Zukovski's Concerto number five.

( clears throat )

Excuse me, son

that's not a toy.

Now, I think this may be

an instrument
of Antoine's caliber.

( playing Bach Invention
skillfully )

MRS. CARDIGAN:
Cookie, dear?

No, thanks.

Mrs. Cardigan,

Of course I do.

How's it going
with Dr. Fugue?

Um, not so good.

I guess
Dr. Fugue kind of...

Fired you?

Yes, he does that
to a lot of students.

He's a brilliant teacher
but a very difficult man.

Well, how do I get hired again?

You must earn his respect.

Even his bird doesn't
sing good enough!

You don't have to play
perfectly, Arthur;

you just have
to play your best.

( Funny Farm making
animal noises )

( playing more proficiently )

( plays last chords wrong )

( groans )

( cheering )

I've been fired! Yes!

Ah, Arthur Read

dismissed for torturing
the Invention in F Major.

What brings you back?

( gulps )

If it's okay, Dr. Fugue

I'd like to try
to play it again.

It's very irregular.

All right,
I have a few minutes

before Soul Train.

( playing Bach Invention )

( plays last chords wrong )

Oh, I must have made
at least mistakes!

Actually, you made mistakes.

I'm sorry I wasted
your time, Dr. Fugue.

I guess no matter
how hard I try

I'll never be any good.

Well, there is something that
might improve your playing.

I require that all my students
keep their fingers warm.

All right,
enough chitchat.

Let's do some scales!

D major!

( playing scales )

KIDS:

(

Arthur's learning
to play piano

and we're learning drums.

( playing slowly in unison )

It's the Young Fish School
of World Drumming.

( playing simple rhythm )

And a-one...

GIRL:
Diana Young and Bob Fish

are the teachers.

BOY:

especially children.

( flute playing simple tune
with drumming )

I like the drum because you
can learn different cultures.

Does anyone know
where North Africa is?

( playing slow, steady rhythm )

We're going to play guwazi,
an Egyptian rhythm

used all over the Mediterranean
and North Africa.

( playing more
complicated rhythm )

BOY:
Certain beats come

from certain places.

This is a wonderful
Nigerian rhythm called juju.

( playing different rhythm )

It's not hard,
and you get into the rhythm.

(

You don't have to think
about it-- you can just play.

( playing slow, simple rhythm )

Once you start playing the
rhythms, it's a great feeling.

( playing in unison )

It brings everybody together.

( playing climax )

FISH AND YOUNG:
And... cha-cha-cha.

Whoo! Good job!

And now...

I look at you
and I see someone

who likes to feel
the wind in his hair!

You do?

Yes, sir, I have
just the car for you!

Behold! The
three-door Canberra Emu!

Top of the line in
Australian luxury sedans!

There's no wheels.

That's why I'm
offering it to you

at such an incredibly
low price!

Muffy's Dad sure knows
how to sell things.

He says it's an art form.

Binky's really good at it, too.

Sometimes he makes you
an offer you just can't refuse.

BINKY:
Do you want
to give a quarter

to the animal shelter

or am I going to have
to start snapping pencils?

ARTHUR:
And then there's D.W.

She's better than both of them!

Please, won't someone
buy some lemonade?!

( sniffling )

I just need money

and maybe a little
piece of cheese to eat.

CROWD:
Oh! Here you go, honey!

But there is one person who
is the absolute worst salesman

in all of Elwood City.

In fact, he's so bad
that once he even...

Don't listen to him!

I'll sell you anything
you want for half price!

I'll even throw in
my shirt!

Just buy something!

Please!

( metal scraping loudly )

BUSTER:
Up high, down low

in the middle and away we go.

See you, Mom.

( kids laughing, chatting )

What's in the box?

Were we supposed
to do a diorama?

It's chocolate.

We had to do a diorama
in chocolate?

I have this candy bar.

I guess I could make
it into a canoe.

No, Buster, we're selling
chocolates, remember?

For the band?

Oh, yeah, to raise money
for new instruments.

I'd better
go sign up.

I could use
a new tuba.

So, Muffy, how many
boxes do you think
you can sell?

Well, I don't want
to get swamped
with inventory

but with
the low overhead

I think I could unload .

What does that mean?

It means Daddy
will buy them all.

Um, I'll take
also.

Okay, Buster, it's
three dollars a box.

You sure you can
sell that many?

It's chocolate,
Ms. Krasny.

Who knows chocolate
better than me?

(

Hello, Mrs. Johnson!

Want to buy

some... "mouse-watering,
detestable chocolates"?

( angrily ):
Hmm!

Oh, "mouth-watering,
delectable chocolates."

MAN:
Chocolates?

I'm allergic
to chocolates!

Even the word "chocolate"
gives me a rash!

Want to buy...?

Chocolates here,
sweet and cheap.

Check it out.

( sighs )

Hey, Buster,
I've already sold
four boxes.

And the Brain
has sold six!

He's got a great sales pitch.

BRAIN:
The chocolates release chemicals
in the brain called endorphins

which may actually
improve response time

on quizzes and tests!

CROWD:
Can I have some? Me first.

FRANCINE:
But Prunella's doing the best.

She's raised over $ already!

The key to all your hopes
and dreams is in a box!

A flat white box...

just like this!

How are you doing?

Um, not so good.

But I've only been
at it two hours.

This bag will be empty
by the end of the day.

Five hours
up and down Main Street

and I couldn't sell one box!

What's happened

I used to be someone
in this town.

I was well liked!

Maybe you need a gimmick
to get people interested.

I don't have
any ideas.

MAN ( on TV ):
Come to Jack's Joke Shop,
get a free sample!

How about a rubber snake?
An eye that's fake?

Some sneezing powder?
A squirting flower?

Or take all four,
I'm giving them away!

But that's crazy!

Crazy, you say?

You're right, it's crazy!

But once you've tried my gags,
I know you'll be back for more!

Hmm...

minutes already
and not a single customer.

Well, it's only : .

(

That's a whole hour
since breakfast.

No wonder I'm getting
kind of hungry.

Wait a minute!

I'm not getting hungry;
I am hungry.

I'm starving!

I've got to eat something.

But I can't leave!

What if I get a customer?

Guess I could have
one or two of the chocolates.

After all, they're free.

BINKY:
Hiya, Buster.

Sell anything yet?

No, but I'm trying
a new approach.

How about you?

I sold all of mine
to George.

Hey, are these
really free?

Sure! They're samples.
Take one.

Thanks!

I meant one chocolate,
not one box!

Sheesh! Some people.

So, how many boxes
do you have left?

Ten.

That's great.

You made $
in two days.

Well, I didn't
actually sell them.

I sort of... ate them.

You ate ten boxes
of chocolates?!

They were free samples!

Oh, I know
I shouldn't have done it

but they were so...

"mouth-watering and delectable."

How much money do you think
I owe Ms. Krasny?

Thirty dollars.

What?! $ ?!

I don't have $ !

All I have is...

a paper clip, a shoelace
and a chewy worm!

Oh, I'm going to jail!

You're not going
to jail, Buster.

We'll think
of something.

You just raise the price
to make up what you've lost.

Since it's for the band

someone might buy
a box for six dollars.

But you can't eat
any more of them!

You couldn't even force me
to eat one now!

Eighteen dollars!

Not bad for one day's work!

And you guys are going someplace

where I won't think about you!

( door opens )

CHOCOLATES:
Buster...

( gasps ):
Who's there?

CHOCOLATES:
It's us, Buster! The Pinchmen!

Let us out, Buster!

We're so lonely!

No! You stay there,
chocolates!

CHOCOLATES:
Please! We miss you!

We love you!

We want to be with you always!

Let us out! Let us out!
Let us out!

Can't resist!

( yawning )

Ooh--

what a terrible dream.

( screams )

What have I done?

(

BUSTER:
I ate them all!

Every last one!

I'm a monster!

( crying )

Get ahold of yourself!

No one will be able
to get new instruments

and it'll all
be my fault!

( tapping baton )

( instruments clanking,
scraping, whistling )

( playing Chopin's
"Funeral March" discordantly )

( audience laughing )

You'll have to tell
your mom.

Maybe she could
lend you the money

to pay the school back.

I can't tell her!

It's too embarrassing!

What else can
you do, Buster?

Make boxes of chocolate
yourself?

Hey! That's not
such a bad idea.

( groans )

ARTHUR:
My dad will be home in an hour.

Can't we wait
till he gets back?

I mean, we don't
know how to cook.

Relax! They're just chocolates.

They can't be
that hard to make.

Now, I want them to taste
just like Pinchman's.

What do you think
"soy lecithin" is?

I don't know.

Something with
soy sauce?

Yeah, probably.

( mixer whirring )

DAD:
Here they are!

You look like you did
a pretty good job alone.

So, who's going to be
first to try one?

Me! Me!

No, Buster,
no free samples for you!

If you have one,

You're right,
Arthur.

Can we hurry up

and put them
in the boxes?

I can't bear to look
at them for too long.

Chocolate Buster Clusters!

They're only three dollars
and they're homemade!

Homemade, huh?

You don't say!

Here's your change, sir!

Two, sir?

Coming right up!

Please form
a line, people!

Thirty-six dollars!

I'm more than halfway there!

Ooh, homemade chocolates.

Yes, sir,
I made them from scratch.

And it's to raise money

for new instruments
for the band.

Well, if it's for a good cause

then I guess
I can't say no.

( chuckling )

( lightly crunching )

(

They're awful!

What did you put in these?!

Uh, I don't know.

Lots of stuff!

Nuts, cinnamon, tomatoes...

You put tomatoes in chocolate?

The recipe called
for a fruit;

tomatoes are a fruit!

Are you the kid who sold us
these chocolates?

I want my money back!

( customers complaining loudly )

Hmm...

Sorry, ma'am.

Here you go, sir.

( groans )

Well, Buster, it seems
you're in luck.

A longtime supporter
of the band

has agreed to pay off
your debt.

Really?

On one condition:

You have to work
in his store

for a few hours
this weekend.

A store? Selling things?

Oh, anything but that!

Please! I'll ruin him!

Calm down, Buster.

I think you're going to do
very well at this job

very well indeed.

( shop bell ringing )

BUSTER:
Hey, Arthur!

I have a lunch break soon.

( whoopee cushion makes
farting noise )

Oh, I was wondering
where I put that.

So, how do you

I love it!

My boss is nice, I get
to meet new people

and I really believe
in what we're selling.

( doorbells ringing )

Customers!

Welcome to Jack's Joke Shop!

What'll it be today,
ladies and germs?

Stink bombs?
Fake plastic puddles of puke?

How about some Buster Clusters--

the trick chocolate that looks
yummy but tastes crummy?

Your money back if you're
not totally dissatisfied!

What about replacing
Dad's hair-growth formula

with a bottle of Nogain?

Only two drops
for permanent baldness.

Comes with free hat.

Hi, everyone, it's me, Buster.

We always have something
to dance about in Elwood City,

but you won't believe all
the cool dances people are doing

all around the country.

On my trip with my dad,

I see people rock, stomp, twirl,
pop and boogie to the b*at.

I'm filming all the groovy fun

and sending it back
to my friends in Elwood City

on my very own video postcards.

They're Postcards from Buster.

♪ It's a simple message

♪
♪ Believe in yourself

♪
♪ For that's the place

♪
♪ And I say hey!

♪
♪ And I say...

♪
♪ You can fly!

♪
♪ Believe in yourself

♪
♪ And I say...

♪
♪ You can fly!

♪
♪ Believe in yourself

♪
♪ Yo Mama!

♪
♪ And I say...

♪
♪ You can fly!

♪
♪ Believe in yourself

♪
♪ And I say...