08x01 - Dear Adil/Bitzi's Break Up

[bunniefuu]

# Every day you walk down the street Everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

- # And I say, hey!
- Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

# And get along with each other

# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the b*at

# Listen to the rhythm of the street

# Open up your eyes, open up your ears

# Get together, make things better By working together

# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

- # And I say, hey!
- Hey!
- What a wonderful kind of day

- # We can learn to work and play And get along with each other.
- Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day, hey! What a wonderful kind of day, HEY! #

- Hey, DW!
- Hey...

TURKISH MUSIC

Adil! HE CONTINUES IN TURKISH

ADIL SPEAKS IN TURKISH

Oh, hello. You might not understand Turkish, so I'll speak in English.

- That's my father. And that's our store behind him.
- Hello.

Welcome. Have a good day.

Please, come in.

Hi, I'm Unver - Adil's best friend.

But not for long.

Unver didn't do his maths homework.

He thinks our teacher, Mr Yuksal, will throw into the Sea of Marmara.

And I can't even swim!

- Adil!
- SHE SHOUTS IN TURKISH

Pay no attention to her. She's not supposed to be here.

Look! Adil's little lambie!

- He-he-he-he!
- Ayse!

OK. I admit it - she's my little sister.

But I'm not talking about the stuffed lamb!

Whenever Ayse drive me crazy, there's only one person I talk to.

Adil! Ask him if his friend, The Head, knows the answers to

- numbers five, seven and nine.
- Unver, The Head's not his name!

Woof!

Hey!

Any sign of my olive depitter yet?

- No!
- Great(!) This tapenade will take me hours to make!

..But I did find these letters. Cool stamps!

Who are they from? Arthur's REAL parents?

They're from Tatsuo Matsumoto.

He was a pen pal from Japan I wrote to during the th Grade.

I remember this one! Tatsuo got lost in Kyoto at the O-bon Festival.

Ha-ha! I forgot how much I enjoyed corresponding with Tatsuo.

Can I read them?

Uh-oh!

I found it!

Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

- Mr Ratburn...
- ARTHUR COUGHS

- Do you know how I can get a pen pal?
- Pen pal? Yes, of course.

I just recently earmarked a web spot that facilitates such things.

Now, where's the switch?

PRINTER WHIRRS

Adil Akyuz. Eight-years-old, from Turkey.

Buster, do you know anything about Turkey?

Sure, there's honey-glazed turkey and smoked turkey.

And my favourite...

Roast turkey!

Oh, this is from my very first Thanksgiving. You wanna hold it?

No. Ah! I'm talking about the country.

Oh. Hey, I know a lot about that too!

That's where Illinois Jack And The Caravan Of Horrors takes place.

Illinois Jack has a cool Turkish friend in it called Mustafa.

This is when Mustafa and Illy get chased through the covered bazaar.

- Just a bit longer, buddy.
- Illy, the Caliph's iron camel's gaining on us!

..And then, Mustafa saves him from a pit of man-eating newts.

I will not let you die, Illy! AH!

..And then... Ho-ho! This is my favourite part... The banquet!

Lamb's eyes, Illy?

Write to that Turkish kid, Arthur. I bet he's exciting.

'..And then I had pepperoni pizza with my friend Buster at the Mall.'

- What's...pepperoni?
- I don't know. What's a mall?

'That was my day. Please tell me about your day, and life in Turkey.

'Sincerely, Arthur Read.'

..On weekends, Adil works in his father's grocery store.

They sell all sorts of cool things like spices and lamb's eyes...!

They sell lamb's eyes in the grocery store?

He didn't say that, but in The Caravan Of Horrors they eat them!

You've left out the best part - he has a little sister.

Arthur's going to ask her to get me a Mary Moocow CD in Turkish.

DW, they don't have Mary Moocow in Turkey.

- How do you know?
- Did Adil like your letter?

- Well, he said he liked it, but...
- But what?
- I don't know...

Maybe he was being polite. My letter was dull compared to his.

- I'm sure that isn't the case, Arthur.
- Yes, it is!

Arthur read me part of it and I fell asleep.

That letter was like warm milk.

Dear Adil. Thank you for your interesting letter.

These are some exciting things that happened this week...

"I got an A-minus for math and I went to the Sugar Bowl with...

"..Buster and..."

Can't...stay...awake...

Zzzzzzz.

Adil!

What is wrong?

"..And Francine told a really funny joke...

"What do you get when you cross a...?"

Zzzzzz...

SNORING GETS LOUDER

Ah! This is even putting ME to sleep. Oh, well, maybe tomorrow

something exciting will happen.

..And number five dribbles down the field. He cuts left, he cuts right.

The goal's open. He sh**t...

- Hey, you're not sh**ting.
- Oh, sorry, Buster.

I'm wondering what to write to Adil.

- Even less happened today than yesterday!
- Speak for yourself.

- I've eaten cherries! That's my record.
- Can I use that?

Sure. Didn't Adil ask you lots of questions in his letter?

I answered them...

They sound boring. Maybe I should leave them out.

- Pepperoni's NOT boring!
- Oh...

You should ask him more questions about Turkey.

It's such an exciting place. Take Illinois Jack for inspiration.

'Dear Adil. What is your school like? How do you get there?'

I wonder if he rides a camel to school like Illy's friend, Mustafa.

See you at recess, boy.

Wow! Wish I had a camel!

"Does you camel have its own tent, or does it sleep in yours?"

- I don't have a camel!
- Neither do I!

I don't even know anyone who has! Why does he think you have a camel?

"What's your favourite food?"

"Please describe the taste of... Lamb's eyes!"

- YEUCH! You never told me you ate a lamb's eye!
- I haven't.

- Where does Arthur get these ideas?
- What will you write back?

I don't know!

- Anything from...?
- Sorry, Arthur.

Oh...!

- SOMEONE WHISTLES
- Hi, Mr Higgins. Anything for...?

Hey, is that an Illinois Jack comic?

- Yes, I borrowed it from Buster.
- Ha-ha! They're so funny.

- Funny?
- Yeah, they always get everything wrong.

Like, when Illy went to Ecuador, he found a golden Mayan temple. Ha!

- The Maya were from Mexico!
- Oh! I thought the comic was accurate.

No. It's like the American TV shows I watched as a kid, in Ecuador.

I thought every kid in the US went surfing after school.

And then home to their skyscrapers, and put ketchup on all their food.

Yup. You'd have a weird impression of a place

if all you knew of it came from TV and comics.

So that's why he hasn't written back for weeks.

I offended him with my questions.

Maybe I should get an American pen pal.

Why don't you explain what happened?

Well, I'm kind of embarrassed.

Try again. It's not easy making friends in other cultures,

but trust me - it's worth it!

What a minute! Adil has an e-mail address...?

"Dear Adil. Just wondering if you got my letters.

"PS - I didn't know you had e-mail!

"How do you plug your computer in?"

Dear Arthur. I plug my computer into the wall of OUR apartment.

- "I don't live in a tent."
- "Oh, sorry.

"I read this comic and it gave me weird ideas about how you live.

"Is that why you didn't write back?"

"Yes. I was going to correct you, but it would take forever.

"Then you didn't answer any of my questions."

"That's because my answers sounded boring.

"A mall's just a big store with little stores in it."

So that's what it is!

'We have lots of those. The biggest and oldest is the Capali Carsi -

'The Covered Bazaar in English.'

Really?! Hey, I sort of live near a covered bazaar.

Are you playing Virtual Goose? The answer's D - Do the Hokey-Pokey.

DW, go away!

I'm writing to someone!

Hokey-Pokey! Hokey-Pokey!

- 'Are you still there?'
- 'Sorry, my pesky sister interrupted me.'

'Ayse does that, and always when I REALLY don't want disturbed.

- 'How does she know?'
- 'Adil, we have more in common than I imagined.

Well, did he reach The Head?

School's in minutes.

Arthur's friend's name is Brain, and no, he can't call him now,

- it's late at night in Elwood City.
- Oh!

Well, what did you talk about?

- He was mad at me.
- Why?

I found the Mary Moocow CD for DW.

DW SINGS IN TURKISH

DW, GO TO SLEEP!

- AHH!
- DW CONTINUES SINGING

[ Wow! What a great circus!

How'd they get poodles to dance like that?! And that clown on stilts!

- How'd he do it?!
- Ahem!

- Well, I should head home.
- Why? It's only o'clock!

Is anyone hungry?! I'm starving! Bet you know what I'll have, Harry!

- Come on!
- Maybe we BOTH should tell him!

There it is! The Harry Mills Meatball Experience!

Three meatballs and four strips of bacon in marinara sauce

and melted provelone! How'd you get a sandwich named after you, Harry?

By living alone and not knowing how to cook!

Buster, there's something Harry and I would like to talk to you about.

House Wars! The movie where kitchen things battle the cleaning things,

and it's starting in minutes! Come on! We'll eat later!

If we hurry, we can just make it!

- You tried.
- I guess I'll just tell him tonight.

TAP, TAP!

HEY!

Buster, are you still up?

Mm! Comet is coming!

HE SIGHS

- Morning, Mom. See you, have a great day!
- Hold on, Buster.

It's only . . Have some breakfast.

- Um, I'm not hungry.
- Buster, you're always hungry!

- And there's something I have to tell you.
- I already know.

Harry's going away and isn't coming back, as he's decided to be a pilot,

or a sponge-diver, or something else you can't do in Elwood City.

- No, sweetie, Harry isn't going anywhere.
- He isn't?! That's great!

HE LAUGHS Here I was, all upset over nothing!

- So what's the big news?
- Harry and I are breaking up.

- Why are they breaking up?
- I don't know. I didn't feel like asking,

but I'll miss going to the Green games. We followed them all season.

'Bottom of the ninth, and the score is tied!

'If the Elwood City Greens make this out,

'we go to extra innings, and they can end a -game losing streak!

'Can they do it?!'

CROWD CHEERS 'Clear for the first!'

- Throw it!
- Get him out!

'Nope, looks like he couldn't get a grip on it!

'That'll cost the Greens the game!'

Woo-hoo! I got the losing ball!

They still haven't won a game, but we always had a great time.

- Can't you go with your mom?
- Nah. She doesn't like baseball.

- Well, maybe she'll get a boyfriend who does.
- A new boyfriend?!

- You think she'll get a new one?!
- Well, I dunno! She could!

No! She can't! I mean, it took a long time to get used to Harry,

and what if her new boyfriend is really boring?!

Martin, I thought you could spend time with Buster tomorrow.

- Show him where you work.
- Oh... Do I have to?

Sit there. Don't touch anything.

- What time is it?
- o'clock.

Dinner time! Perfect!

- DIAL TONE
- Good evening, Mrs Abigail Adams?

I'm Marty Spivack of Never Better Insurance. Does your policy

- cover mudslides and locusts?
- VOICE CHATTERS ON PHONE

Coffee's past the coffee machine. I take it black. Five sugars.

- I hate Martin Spivack!
- Who?!

Ah, never mind, Arthur. I can't let Harry break up with my mom.

- She has to win him back!
- Don't get involved!

- Besides, how'll you change Harry's mind?!
- By going to an expert!

Let me get this straight. The love of your life crushed your heart

- and you'll do anything to get her back.
- No, this is about my mother!

Oh, I understand! This is "your mother's" problem.

- Your secret's safe with me!
- What secret?! There's no secret!

I always say nothing impresses that special someone

like a romantic dinner. Here.

- The ingredients are in Tween Queen magazine.
- A romantic dinner?!

- But I can't cook!
- So?! Have it catered.

Try Trattoria Multo di Naro. They do a divine penne bolognese.

- Is it Sue Ellen?
- No!

Step One. Surprise him with a mysterious invitation.

Grant, you're on the Philadelphia story. Russell, the front page.

Parker, photos of the new bug wing at the museum.

"You are invited to a romantic diner tonight.

"Baxter residence. pm.

"Big kisses. You know who"?

Step Two. Fill your house with fresh cut flowers.

Hey!

[ AHEM! Nice flower...!

May I help you?

Yes, I'd like an order to go. Two penny balonies.

My friend said it was divine. You mean the penne bolognese?

It's our specialty. With tax, that comes to . .

But I only have seven dollars.

Then I strongly recommend the breadstick.

Now for the final touch! Music!

Peter, Paul and Mary...

Peter, Paul and Mary... Peter, Paul and Mary... Ah! This looks good!

Tyrone Bellows. Songs In The Key Of Love.

- # Oh, baby... #
- Urgh!

# Yeah! Baby!

# I will always be here for you! #

SHE GASPS

What's all this?! Buster?!

- Well, hello there!
- Argh! Harry?!

- Did you do this?
- Huh?! Well, no! Didn't you?!

- Why on earth would I?
- I don't know! You sent me an invitation!

- What was I to think?
- Harry! I didn't send an invitation!

You can't blame me for showing up. I even bought Boston Cream Pie -

- your favourite.
- I asked if you wanted to have coffee on Wednesday!

What's going on? Don't fight! You're supposed to be making up!

You're ruining it, Mom! Harry won't take you back if you yell at him.

It says here in Tween Queen magazine.

Buster, I don't want Harry to take me back.

I broke up with him.

Ahem! I think that's my cue to go.

Here, keep the pie.

But why? I really like Harry.

So do I, honey,

but it's very complicated. We both have very heavy schedules, and...

Buster, can't we talk about it?

It has nothing to do with you, dear.

I'm just too busy for a relationship. Do you understand?

No, not really.

But it's OK.

HE SIGHS I'll get over it. Good night, Mom.

Good night, sweetie.

Mom? Could you leave the pie?

BELL RINGS

- Did Sue Ellen fall for it?
- Once and for all, it wasn't for Sue Ellen!

- Oh!
- The whole thing was a disaster!

Here, you can have your magazine back.

The heart is mysterious, Buster. Look at me and the Backstreet Boys.

First I thought I loved Nick, then Howie,

when all along it was AJ who was meant for me.

Who knew?

Well, you're even slower than Smechter!

Hi, Harry, what are you doing here?

I'm having a milkshake with your mother. Would you like to join us?

- You're getting a milkshake.
- You mean it worked?

No, we're broken up, but we're still friends, like you and me.

So can we still go to Green games together?

Sure! In fact, I've a project I was hoping you could help me with.

Go ahead, Mom.

Well, what do you think?

Who would have ever have thought

salami, Swiss cheese and peanut butter could be so...delicious?!

- Do you think there should be more mayo?
- Oh, no - there's plenty mayo.

- I guess it's an acquired taste.
- Well, I've acquired it.

- You better hurry - the game starts soon.
- It's OK if we're a bit late -

the Greens usually only give up two runs in the first inning. See you!

Can I get this "Buster" to go, please?