16x08 - Buster's Book Battle/On the Buster Scale

[bunniefuu]

♪ Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view ♪

(laughing)

♪ And I say hey ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You've got to listen to your
heart, listen to the b*at ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together
and make things better ♪

♪ By working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message,
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself,
for that's the place to start ♪

♪ And I say hey ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

Hey!

Hey, DW!

Hey!

Whoa...

Come on,
I want that panda!

Rats!

Your turn.

All right,
right down the middle!

(shouts)

Step aside and see
how it's done.

(glass shatters)

(gasps)

Hey guys, what
are you doing?

(loud bang)

Congratulations!

You win!

But all I did
was eat a pretzel.

That's exactly right.

Now, would you like the giant
hippo or the giant panda?

Boy, you can get toys and prizes
for doing anything these days.

(squeaks)

(laughing)

MR. RATBURN:
Through a new cloud
computing-based

Internet technology
partnership,

Lakewood Elementary is
instituting IRP.

What's IRP?

The Independent Readers Project.

It allows you to take computer
quizzes on books you have read.

More tests?

These tests are strictly
voluntary.

You choose to take them.

Correct answers
earn you points,

and your point totals will be
posted in the corridor.

After two weeks,
points can used

to purchase these
exciting prizes.

Prizes?

We get prizes?

What kind of prizes?

Oh, the usual knick-knacks
and gewgaws:

colored erasers, smelly pencils,
key chains, yo-yos,

cloyingly vulnerable
beanbag kittens...

Beanbag kittens?

We get those just
for reading books?

Another bit of precious
childhood magic

transformed into a crude
Pavlovian system

of behavioral
reinforcements.

(talking excitedly)

(door opens
and closes)

Hello, Honey.

How was...

No time to chat, Mom.

I got to read.

Read, read, read.

Love that school.

"Good night, Venus,
good night, Mars,

"Good night, comets,
good night, stars,

Good night, nebulas,
and the distant quasars."

With short books like this,

I can read, like,
in one night.

"Good night, black hole.

Sweet dreams, cosmic void."

(computer beeping)

I got seven IRP points.

Not bad.

I wonder how many points I got.

I finished the Henry Skreever
I was reading last night.

Just a sec.

I have more books
I read yesterday.

(groans)

ARTHUR:
You got points?

How is that possible?

Well, Arthur, you know

I've always been a big reader.

Since when?

Look at that.

points!

That's my Francine.

How'd you get so much?

I'm reading a series
about teenagers

who are descended
from Norse gods:

Loki Benediktssen
and the Teenage Aesir.

It's gigantic.

And the bigger the book,
the more points you get.

If I can make it to ,
I'm going to get a skateboard.

You can win
a skateboard?

Didn't you read the flyer?

Can I get points
for reading the flyer, too?

See, right there.

What's that book series
called again?

Loki Benediktssen
and the Teenage Aesir.

Wow, this must be, like,
on a th grade reading level.

I wonder if I can read it all
in one night.

"So there was no way
Vidar and the dwarves

"were going to make it
to the prom

"unless I found the cloak
of falcon feathers.

But that could have been
anywhere in Niflheim."

Oh, man.

chapters to go.

I think I need a short nap.

(neighing)

Hurry up, Vidar!

If we don't get
to Camp Bifrost soon,

we might never get
the necklace of tears.

I'm not Vidar.

I'm Buster.

And I have no idea
what you're talking about.

That's because you skimmed all
of chapters four and five.

But they were really boring.

And I couldn't pronounce
any of the characters' names.

(roaring)

Look out.

The Fenrir Wolf.

(growling)

I don't like this book.

When it's not boring,
it's terrifying.

(screaming)

"Dagmar, the captain
of the cheerleading squad,

is the daughter
of which Norse goddess?"

(sighs)

I don't know.

How am I supposed to remember?

(beeping)

points?

That's it?

But Francine got
on the same book.

That's because you didn't get
all the questions right.

You only get points
if you answer correctly.

(sighs)

At this rate, I'm not even
going to be able to get

the banana-shaped eraser.

(beeping)

Video games?

What happened to all the reading
you wanted to do?

I gave up.

I'd be by the time
I won a skateboard.

Maybe you just need
a different book.

Why don't you try the one
I'm reading?

That's not a book.

Sure it is.

It's called City of Droids.

My friend Tomas
at the paper wrote it.

He asked me
to give my opinion

before his agent sends
it out to publishers.

What's it about?

A cyborg detective named Kilgore

who solves crimes
in the nd century.

A crime-solving cyborg?

(door closes)

(laser zapping)

Today we'll learn
about the early history

of our very own
Elwood City...

MAN:
Psst. Buster.

Who said that?

Detective Travis Kilgore.

Cyborg Model XT- .

Crime unit.

I need your help.

The alien spy
from the Arctonos system

discovered Dr. Ko's
secret formula.

We need to stop him
before he delivers it

to the enemies
of the Federation.

Oh, okay.

What should I do?

Come with me.

There's a teleporter over here.

Buster, what are you doing?

I'm helping Detective Kilgore
chase the alien spy who stole...

Oh... (laughing)

It's something that's
happening in my book.

You're really into that book.

Do you get a lot
of IRP points for it?

I don't know.

Let me ask.

Mr. Ratburn,
how many points can I get

for reading City of Droids
by Tomas Greenberg?

Let me see.

What did you say
it was called?

City of Droids.

Hmm, don't know that one.

I'm sorry, Buster,
the book is not listed.

There's no test.

What?

You mean I can't get any points?

Not every book has a test
in the IRP computer network.

In fact, they've omitted
many of the classics.

No Treasure Island,
no Watership Down...

See for yourself.

I've wasted the last three days

reading a book that doesn't even
have a computerized quiz?

I wouldn't call it a waste

if you've enjoyed
the reading experience.

But I would have enjoyed it
a lot more

if it got me a skateboard.

FRANCINE:
Cheer up, Buster.

You still have time to read

the Loki Benediktssen
Octology.

Or at least one
of the books.

I didn't like those books.

I like this book.

A lot.

What does liking books
have to do with anything?

IRP is about reading a lot
very quickly

and remembering
every single detail.

But I did read a lot.

You should give Loki
another sh*t.

It's not that bad.

Who knows, you might win
some marbles.

KILGORE:
Just not the right book
for you, huh?

Tell me, Buster, why do you need
to read for points anyway?

Just read the rest of my book.

Well, it's not really
a book yet.

(angry beep)

At least not according to IRP.

Of course it's a book.

It's got a plot, doesn't it?

An exciting plot.

And great characters, too.

LOKI:
Dude, give
the little man a break.

Maybe he wants to read

about the teenage son
of a Norse divinity

and win prizes
while he's reading it.

Listen, "Dude,"
maybe he should read the book

he actually
enjoys reading.

Well, my books are on top

of the young adult
best-seller list.

So take that.

(grunts)

Whoa!

I can't believe this is
actually happening in my room.

It's not.

It's a metaphor.

(grunts)

There.

Now just finish the book
and get the skateboard.

KILGORE:
What?

And read this mass-market
formulaic trash?

How'd you do that?

I time-traveled back
through a wormhole.

Sweet!

(groaning nervously)

I didn't want to do this, but...

(snorting)

I always knew you were a bore.

(groans)

(coughing)

That's it,
I'm outta here.

I got enough people
reading my book.

What do I care whether you get
a skateboard or not?

Well, kid, my work here is done.

It's all up to you now.

Yes, the big day
is finally here, children.

Time to cash in those IRP points
for goodies and prizes.

I can't believe this origami
swan cost me points.

What are you getting?

Well, I only ended up
with points,

so I got this straw.

Not bad.

So I guess you decided
to give up

going for the skateboard?

Yep.

The cyborg detective book
was just too good.

FRANCINE:
What?

This thing for points?

I read nonstop for two weeks.

You know, you could just get
two beanbag kittens.

They're adorable.

Or get this Loki Benediktssen
and the Teenage Aesir calendar.

I'm so sick of that series.

I never want to read
a word of it again.

Anyway, Arthur, you've got
to read City of Droids.

It's the most amazing story.

Once you pick it up,
you never want to put it down.

Psst, Buster.

And now...

I'm Miles.

This is my third grade class.

This class loves to read.

We are recommending books.

There would be two partners.

One of them would
ask questions like...

"What kinds of things
do you like to read about?"

MILES:
You find out what they like

so then you can
recommend books.

I learned that he likes
informational books.

I found Human Footprint.

What do you think?

I think I would read it.

Thanks for the recommendation.

Buster learned that it's about
reading what you like.

What are the genres of books
that you enjoy reading?

Humor.

Humor means funny books.

I was thinking
The Hoboken Chicken Emergency.

(laughs)

I think I made
a good recommendation

for the chicken book.

Very funny.

What is the most important thing
you think about

when you are picking
a book to read?

If it has action or suspense.

My plan is to go to the
Geronimo Stilton series.

This is the new one.

The Mystery in Venice.

I think you're going
to really like this book.

I have read it, too.

I really liked it.

So I have to find
another book.

Geronimo Stilton,
Secret Agent.

Well, this is another book
that I have read.

I keep picking books
that he's already read,

but I think he read them
because he likes the books,

so I think I'm making
good choices.

"I'm looking for an adventure
book or a friendship book."

Lost in the Labyrinth.

I think you'll like it

because you said you like
adventure books.

It looks kind of creepy.

I learned that she does
not like creepy books.

This is called Clementine's
Letter, and it's not creepy.

This looks like
a good book for me.

If you want to have fun reading,

there's a lot of books
you can read.

I'm reading currently
The Son of Neptune,

and I really like it because
I guess it's just my style.

(blowing)

And now...

(explosions in movie)

QUADROBLAST:
Magnopus Cybertroid,
surrender the Lightmass

or suffer the full force
of Quadroblast.

MAGNOPUS:
No.

(explosions)

QUADROBLAST:
Nice try, Magnopus,
but your cyber-dynamos

are no match
for Quadroblast.

Now, will you surrender
the Lightmass?

MAGNOPUS:
No.

(laser zapping)

Wow.

Eh...

"Eh?"

That was the best movie ever.

Oh, Buster...

Why didn't you like it?

Well, first of all,
how could some car mechanic

build a thousand giant robots
in his garage?

If there's anything
that you can count on,

it's that Buster and Brain
will never agree about a movie.

The other thing
you can count on is that

one of them is not
going to be happy about it.

...before the secret lab
was invaded

by Quadroblast's nano robots...

BRAIN:
And then for no reason,

the bad robots all suddenly
fly to Jupiter--

for what,
robot spring break?

(laughing)

And I'm sorry, but you can't
blow up an entire planet

that is times bigger
than the Earth

with one weird
glowing b*mb thingy.

The Lightmass.

Whatever.

It was all just an excuse
for a lot of explosions.

Oh, brother.

I know.

I see what he means.

Yeah, you're right, Brain.

That movie had lots of problems.

It stunk.

(gasps)

I don't get it.

Everybody liked the movie.

We all said, "Wow."

Then they all changed
their mind because of Brain.

Well, he did make
some good points.

He didn't even get
the plot right.

"Some car mechanic
in a garage."

No, the car mechanic
had a bionic brain.

Okay, but still, Brain is
pretty smart about movies.

I know about movies, too.

As much as he does.

BITZI:
Oh, there you are.

Come on, we're going
to the movies.

We are?

Cool.

Our film critic
called in sick today,

so I've got to write the review
for the Friday paper.

What movie?

Wow.

Wow.

I don't know what to say
about that thing.

It was just
a lot of explosions.

Mom, that's not true.

I've seen the movie
twice now

and the story makes
perfect sense.

Really?

Oh, that's great, honey.

Could you explain it
to me, then?

You mean you want to know
what I think about a movie?

Yes.

Please?

"And so while adults might find
Giant Exploding Robots

"loud and hard to follow,

"on the evidence
of my son's enthusiasm,

the film is clearly just the
ticket for eight-year-old boys."

So, what do you think of that?

And she's a grown-up.

Yeah, and she didn't
like it either.

Just like Brain.

It stunk.

Uh-huh.

Well, I'm not finished yet.

You know,
I've always wanted

to try my hand
at film criticism.

MUFFY:
Oh, you should, Brain.

You'd be really
great at it.

(clears throat)

"The Kid's Corner:
Movies From a Kid's Perspective.

"Hi everybody,
my name is Buster Baxter.

"I'm eight years old,

and this is what I think about
Giant Exploding Robots D."

Wait a minute.

You wrote something
for the paper?

"Nobody understands
this great movie.

"It is not just
a lot of explosions.

"The inventor is not just
a car mechanic.

"His dad was a scientist who put
a bionic brain in his head

"when he was a baby.

"The bionic brain makes him
insane when he grows up

"and so he builds
armies of robots.

"There are good and bad robots,
and they have amazing battles,

"and I won't tell you the end

"except that
it's totally believable

"something times as big
as Earth can blow up.

"After all,
what is a supernova?

Can anybody
tell me that? Huh?"

Is this for real?

Uh-huh.

Last night, when I told my mom
all about the movie,

she got this idea to have us
both write reviews.

"On the Buster scale,

Giant Exploding Robots D
rates a ten."

Ten-plus.

(Brain chuckling)

Not to rain on your parade,
Buster,

but that analysis
is riddled with...

FRANCINE:
"On the Buster scale?"

Wow, you have a scale?

You know, come to think of it,
that inventor was insane.

Yeah, he was.

The movie makes
a lot more sense now.

It was a ten-plus.

(groans)

I don't get it.

Everybody hated the movie.

They said it stunk.

Then they all changed
their minds because of Buster.

Well, he did make
some good points.

He didn't make
any points.

"There are good and bad robots,
and they have battles."

What kind of critique is that?

Look, it's just one review.

I mean, it's not like he's
going to write another one.

Look, everybody.

Another one.

(all but Brain
talking excitedly)

Mom's editor said people
liked reading what kids thought,

and so he wants me
to write one every week.

"Last week I told you about
Giant Exploding Robots D.

"Well, this week's
new movie,

Aliens, Aliens
and More Aliens D..."

"Superheroes vs. Robots D..."

"You have never
seen a movie like

Tiny Exploding Monsters D..."

"First, what could be better
than that title?

It tells you
all you need to know."

"There are not one,
but ten superheroes,

and each has
a different superpower."

"Who would have thought monsters
could be tiny but dangerous?"

"The movie has something
very important to say:

beware of aliens."

"On the Buster scale,
a ten-plus."

(gasps)

Yeah, that's it.

That's it.

Here's your refill,
Mr. Baxter.

Thanks, kid.

Say, can I maybe ask your
opinion about something?

If you make it quick.

Well, my friend and I are
going to the movies tonight,

and he wants to see
Robot Aliens ,

but I kind of want to see
Alien Robots .

Now, I know you loved them both,
but which one do you...

(doorbell jangles)

This seat taken?

Nope.

What are you doing?

Just writing my review

of att*ck of the Monster
Superheroes.

Ten-plus?

We'll see.

It's not in D.

What are you doing?

Oh, just working on my blog.

Blog, huh?

(coughs nervously)

That's nice.

What are you
blogging about?

Movies.

Really?

You have a movie blog?

Oh.

Sorry, sir.

That's cool.

Sure are an awful lot
of movie blogs out there though.

Hope yours doesn't get

lost in the shuffle.

(beeping)

Here it is.

Oh, and it's about att*ck
of the Monster Superheroes.

That's the movie
you're reviewing right now,

isn't it, Mr. Baxter?

Guess he b*at you to it.

That's the problem
with newspapers.

It takes so long
to get a review in print.

"Some critics
will try to convince you

"that att*ck of the Monster
Superheroes rates a ten-plus,

but let's be serious..."

Okay, this has gone
far enough.

You're just trying
to att*ck me.

Well, it's lazy reviewing.

Every movie can't be
ten-plus.

And why don't you review
some movies

that don't have
explosions in them?

No movies don't have
explosions in them.

True.

Well, at least I don't hate
every movie like you do.

That's not true.

Okay, name one movie
you like.

Simple.

Um...

Uh...

Oh.

Le Règle du Jeu.

BOTH:
Huh?

Jean Renoir film.

.

Black and white.

Really beautiful
dark farce about...

Listen, I think the solution
to this conflict is very clear.

Only one of us can be right.

Yes.

So let's prove it.

Yes.

You don't mean
a fight, do you?

No.

We both review the same movie

and see which review changes
all our friends' minds.

Sounds logical.

But what if
you both agree

about the movie?

We never agree.

(alarm beeping)

(yawning)

(gasping)

(laser zaps and explosions)

(laser sounds)

(explosions)

(roaring)

(screaming)

(birds chirping)

(trying to pronounce):
Le Murmure de Silence.

With English subtitles?

Can you handle it?

Don't worry about me.

Well?

Well what?

Who's right?

How can we tell?

We haven't seen the movie yet.

It doesn't matter.

Yes, it does.

You know, we do have
our own opinions.

That's debatable.

You said it, brother.

I think you guys have watched
too many bad movies.

Your brains are mushy.

Wait, you haven't told us
who's right.

It's me, Arthur, isn't it?

Come on, Arthur, you know
you agree with me.

We read your reviews because
we respect both your opinions.

But you two have to learn to
respect other people's opinions.

Is he right?

I'm not sure.

Maybe.

Well, at least
we agree about that.

(sighing)

Maybe we should just
agree to disagree?

I can live with that.

You liked it?

You didn't?

But it had subtitles.

But it had no explosions.

It was so sad.

Sad?

It was sappy.

I'd rather watch
a robot explode.

Let's see more
foreign films now.

So long as they're more
exciting than that one.

To watch more Arthur

and play games with all
the Elwood City friends,

visit pbskids.org.

You can find Arthur books
and lots of other books, too,

at your local library.