17x03 - Molina's Mulligan/Buster Bombs

[bunniefuu]

♪ Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view ♪

(laughing)

♪ And I say hey ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You've got to listen to your
heart, listen to the b*at ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together
and make things better ♪

♪ By working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message,
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself,
for that's the place to start ♪

♪ And I say hey ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

Hey!

Hey, DW!

Hey!

Whoa...

(ground rumbling)

(watch beeping)

Oh, an earthquake!

(people screaming)

Bionic Bunny is on the way!

A lot of people ask me,
"Bionic Bunny,

what's the hardest part
of being a superhero?"

And I tell them,
"Laying off the sweets

so I can fit into
the tights!"

(laughing)

But seriously,
lifting heavy objects

isn't the hardest part
of being a superhero.

Coming up with incredibly
creative solutions

to natural disasters
isn't the hardest part either.

Even knowing the correct knot
to seal up an earthquake isn't.

Bionic Bunny,
what an honour!

Could you please sign
my Bionic Bunny

limited edition coffee mug?

Why, certainly, young man.

To whom would you like me
to make it...

Uh-oh.

(rumbling)

The hardest part of being
a superhero is...

The fans!

"With just seconds left
in the game,

"Alberto Molina passed
three Bloomfield Buzzards

"and scored the winning goal,

making his team the country's
junior soccer champions!"

I only passed two defenders,
not three.

You're too modest.

We need to paste this
into your scrapbook together.

I'd love to, Papi,

but I promised Arthur
he could join me

for my morning run.

Yes, yes, of course.

You must stay in shape
for next season.

Go, superstar!

The newspaper got it wrong.

You didn't dribble past
three defenders

to score the winning goal.

I know, it was only...

(thwack)

MAN:
Fore!

Duck!

Oh, thanks for catching that.

I'm helping Chip
work on his swing

for an upcoming
golf tournament.

You might want to help him
work on holding onto his club.

He almost hit Alberto.

Ah, there it is!

Do us a favour, sport,

and pass my five iron,
would you?

Mind if I try
to hit this to you?

I've always wanted
to give golf a try.

You don't just
"give golf a try."

It takes years of practice.

It's easy to pick up
a club,

but a lot harder to use it.

Well, there's a lot more to golf
than one lucky sh*t.

Well, there's
a lot more to golf

than hitting a bunch
of long sh*ts perfectly.

Well, there's a lot more to golf
than having a great short game.

Oh ,okay.

What else should I try?

How about playing
on a real golf course?

Under pressure!

(scoffs)

Alberto eats pressure
for breakfast.

With bacon!

Well, I'm happy to meet you
for a friendly game next Friday.

MUFFY:
Great!

Be prepared to face
the Chipinator.

Hope you've got
a good caddy.

The best.

And you're looking at him.

What's a caddy?

Beats me.

I've never played this game
before in my life.

My dad said you could
borrow his old clubs

from when he was
a teenager.

And I got a book
on caddying:

McKinley MacAdie's

Advice For Laddies
from the Daddy of Caddies.

You're playing golf?

Oh, uh...

That is a fantastic idea!

Next Friday he's going
to be playing Chip Crosswire

at the country club.

Next Friday?

Oh, I have a dentist
appointment.

No!

I will reschedule it.

Papi, please don't.

Nonsense.

It's no trouble.

Just a silly root canal.

(sighs)

"A caddy carries a golf player's
bag and clubs,

"gives advice on how to play,

"and most importantly,
provides moral support.

Whatever a golfer needs,
a good caddy is there."

ALBERTO:
It's the British Open

and we're one stroke behind
world champion Jaguar Forest.

Which club should I use?

The sun's in my eyes.

(rumbling)

I'm hungry.

Ahh, turkey!

My favourite!

(cheering)

(yawning)

After reading some of this book
last night,

I came up with some great
training exercises.

Wait!

Before you start,

how about some delicious
protein smoothies

to give you energy?

Then I will drive you
to the public golf course.

That's okay, Papi.

We're going to go practice
in the park.

Come on, Arthur, let's go.

Okay.

I guess you want to keep
your training top secret.

Good plan.

Why were you in such a hurry
to get away from your dad?

Whenever I get involved
with a sport,

he makes such a big deal
out of it.

It embarrasses me.

Like when I was doing kendo,

he brought cupcakes
to every practice.

And no matter
what game I play,

he takes a photograph
and sends it to the local paper.

That does sound pretty
embarrassing.

But at least he's
really proud of you.

I know, but I just wish
he didn't go so over the top.

Tails.

Alberto goes first.

Sorry I'm late.

I was at the t-shirt store,
getting these.

"The Dean of the Green."

What do you think
of your new nickname?

It, um, certainly stands out.

I knew you would like it.

Here, Arthur, put one on.

That's okay, Mr. Molina.

MUFFY:
Excuse me.

I'm all about making
a fashion statement,

but it's time for Alberto
to face the Chipinator.

Here we go.

(horn blowing)

What?

It is the horn of courage.

You can do it,
Dean of the Green.

(grunts)

The grass was wet
and I slipped.

I'm going to take a mulligan.

Mulligan?

Who is this "Mulligan"?

A mulligan is a term
for a do-over.

You're allowed to take one
on the first tee.

(laughing)

Even with your "mulligan"

I think the Dean of the Green
has hit the ball farther.

Wait, put these
electrolytes in it.

They will restore
your energy.

Go, Dean of the Green!

The -year-old
golfing machine!

(whispering):
Dean of the Green,
watch him strut.

To win the game,

he'll sink this putt.

Alberto, Alberto!

Here's your scorecard,
Alberto.

Good show, old man.

I've got to say, you've got
a lot of natural talent.

Did you hear that,
Alberto?

You're a natural.

Papi, please.

Here, give me
your scorecard.

We'll take it right home
and put it in the scrapbook.

And then next time...

There isn't going to be
a next time.

I'm not playing golf anymore.

Why?

Because you embarrass me
every time I play.

And it's not just golf.

It's all sports.

Papi, I...

The head of the
country club called.

Your score was
so good today

that you qualified for
the club junior championship.

I did?

Oh.

Well, I'm not sure...

It's next Thursday,

and although
I'd like to come, I'm...

I'll be very busy
at the café that day.

You're not coming?

No, I'm sorry.

But I shall be there
in spirit.

I know you will do well.

And even if you don't,

have fun, okay?

Harry Mills here

at the Elwood City Country Club
Junior Championship,

where all eyes
are on Chip Crosswire

and newcomer
Alberto Molina.

As three-time club champion,

the Chipster would like
to thank the community

for their support,

and our father at Crosswire
Motors for his blimp.

Go, Chip!

Ready to play?

(crowd groans)

It's been a rough game
for Alberto,

and now he's three strokes
behind Chip.

MR. MOLINA:
Alberto, Alberto,
he's full grown.

And now he wants me
to leave him alone.

ALBERTO:
I can't do it.

Something's missing.

"Whatever a golfer needs,
a good caddy is there."

(phone ringing)

Hello, Molina residence.

If we don't find that ball,
you'll be penalized a stroke.

MR. MOLINA:
Here it is.

Papi, you came.

I mean...

What are you doing here?

Arthur called me.

He thought you could maybe
use a cheerleader.

Well, uh, maybe...

I mean, I guess I could use
a little cheering.

I understand.

I will try to contain myself,

if you give me a mulligan.

What?

A do-over.

I would like
a second chance.

What a Cinderella story.

Alberto is just one putt away
from the championship.

Go, Alberto!

Shh.

Let them play.

(cheering)

I have something for you
to celebrate your win today.

It isn't a parade, is it?

No, no.

Nothing too big.

It's just a victory
empanada.

Thanks.

And I promise I will try
not to get too excited

about how talented you are
and embarrass you anymore.

That was amazing!

Have you considered
basketball?

(gasps)

It was a joke.

You professional athletes
take everything so seriously.

And now...

My name is Kiara, and this is
my second-grade class.

What's something
that we do in here

after we do a really good job
at something?

Cheers.

ALL:
Fantastic!

KIARA:
Today, we're working on cheers

like the ones Ramon did
for Alberto.

TEACHER:
Go, Dean of the Green,

the -year-old golfing machine!

Why do you think
they're like poetry?

They rhyme.

Because it sounds good
when you have them rhyming.

TEACHER:
Today, you and your partner are
going to make poetry cheers.

What are some things I could
create a cheer about?

Subjects in school.

Baseball.

You could do it about food.

Here's some hot pepper!

Put on a lot, a lot, a lot!

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
it's hot, hot, hot!

(applause)

It's a fun writing project,
so we can work together.

I think we should do
something that rhymes.

Yeah.

Something about nature.

Dolphins, dolphins,
watch them go!

Watch them go
so fast and slow!

(applause)

Basketball, basketball,
dribble, dribble!

Make a sh*t
so we can fizzle!

I hit five home runs,
I hit five doubles,

I hit five singles,
but I struck out a lot.

Reading, reading,
it's so fun!

How many books
can you read in a day?

In classroom ,
the fun has just begun.

We solve math problems
and read and write.

We are friends
whose future is bright!

ALL:
Hooray!

Arthur, Arthur in the tree,

as happy as can be!

(applause)

And now...

Many of you know that I have
a community garden

full of fresh fruits
and vegetables.

But did you know I also have
a comedy garden?

Come on, I'll show you around.

Here's my clown nose bush.

(honking)

This one's not quite ready.

(honking and squeaking)

Aha, this one's perfect!

Here's where I grow
the squirting flowers.

(sniffing)

(sighs)

Smells like comedy.

(laughing)

And if you look over here,
I've got some...

Whoa!

Forgot I put the banana peel
patch here.

But my most prized possession
in the whole garden is this:

my joke tree.

Each branch bears
a hysterical new joke.

Like this one.

"What's the one word
a dog can say?

Bark."

(laughing nervously)

Get it?

Actually, that one's
kind of old.

Let's try this one.

"What's black and white
and red all over?

A newspaper."

Wait a minute,
everyone knows that one.

"Why did the chicken
cross the road?"

That's the oldest one
in the book.

What's going on?

(panting)

This one's going to be good,
I promise.

"What does someone say when he
reaches the top of a dead tree?

Ah."

Huh?

I don't get it.

(tree cracking)

Ah!

(crashing)

I'm okay.

(exhausted laughter)

So a couple of sausages
are sizzling in a frying pan.

One sausage turns
to the other and says,

"Man, is it hot in here!"

And the other sausage says,

"Oh, my gosh,
a talking sausage!"

(laughing)

Doesn't that joke k*ll?

Ow.

Well, my nose sure feels dead.

And then he says,

"Oh, my gosh,
a talking sausage."

(snorts)

(laughing)

Could you warn me next time?

Pretty great, huh?

(sighs)

It never fails.

"Oh, my gosh,
a talking sausage!"

Get it?

See?

I'm a sausage
and I'm talking.

"Hi, guys.

La la la..."

We got it
the first time.

And the second
and third.

The funny part was when water
sh*t out of Arthur's nose.

Can you do that again?

No way.

I actually never thought
it was that funny.

It was just that creepy image
of a talking sausage.

(shuddering)

It made me snort.

Are you done telling it?

I'm really thirsty.

Yeah, I'm done.

Finished.

Kaput.

(sighs)

I think I need
another dessert.

Of course you're
still funny, Buster.

I don't know.

That joke used to always work.

Now I can't even
get a giggle.

That's just because
you're using day-old bread.

No, I was using hot dogs.

You think I should
use bread instead?

What I mean is
you need some new jokes.

Would you like it if I served
the same thing every day?

Hmm...

Could it be cake?

Don't worry, Buster.

You'll make 'em laugh again.

Just go get some
fresh material.

And this time,
make it something

that doesn't involve
playing with your lunch.

Thanks a lot,
Mrs. McGrady.

Horst Schichter's
Compendium of Comedy.

This is exactly what I need.

Oof!

(nose squeaking)

(laughing)

Hi, ladies and germs.

Welcome to the Great Baxterini's
prop comedy show.

What a great crowd.

Now remember,
don't try this at home.

I am at home.

Now, you don't like to have
seeds in your watermelon,

do you, sir?

Well, this is how
I like to get them out.

Huh...

(grunting)

(dull thud)

Ow!

Wow, does that hurt!

Hey, come back.

(squashing)

There.

Wasn't that hysterical?

You're going to clean
this up, right?

(sighs)

You know,
there are things I notice

every day at this school
that are just hysterical.

Like the see-saw.

It doesn't look like
a "C" or a "saw."

Why is it called that?

Maybe they should
just call it

the "I-don't-see-the-point-saw."

(laughing)

(groans)

Hey, I've got a question
for you.

If fish swim in schools,
do they get homework?

See, it's funny
because their school is...

not like our school?

(Buster clears his throat)

Hey, what's up with monkey bars?

Why aren't there
any monkeys on them?

Because there are no wild
monkeys in North America.

I suppose one could escape
from the zoo...

(gasps)

That'd be scary.

My dad knew someone who was
bitten by a monkey once.

Oh, that can be
quite dangerous.

Did he get a rabies sh*t?

Okay, okay,
forget the monkey bars.

Hey, you know what's funny?

Yes.

"Funny" is an adjective.

Definition: causing laughter
or amusement.

Synonyms are "comical,"
"humorous," "droll"...

I'll tell you
what funny isn't.

This.

Oh, never mind.

According to Horst Schichter's
Compendium of Comedy,

this has to get a laugh.

I don't know, Buster.

I feel kind of funny
about this.

Funny is good.

Hold that thought.

Now let's get started.

Are you sure
you want me to?

Arthur, if you are
truly my friend,

you will hit me
in the face with that pie.

Why aren't you laughing?

Because it wasn't funny.

Try the cherry.

(coughing)

Anything?

Sorry.

All I feel is grossed out.

I don't understand.

This is supposed to be
a guaranteed laugh.

(sighs)

There's quiche in the fridge.

Let's try that.

BITZI:
What is going on here?

Um, Arthur's helping me

with my comedy homework.

So I've been experimenting

with all different types
of comedy,

but no matter what I do,
I still can't get a laugh.

Well, I think you're funny.

Thanks.

But you're my mom.

You'd even laugh
at my mitten joke.

What's your mitten joke?

What did the mitten say
to the hat?

"I'll stay here;
you go on ahead."

(laughing)

See?

Well, I know something
that'll cheer you up.

"This Sunday
at Elwood City Books,

comedian Vince Ruckles
will sign copies

of his autobiography
My Yucky Life."

(gasps)

Vince Ruckles?!

He's my hero.

I have all his CDs.

I know.

You and your father
did his routines

for hours and hours.

Can we go, Mom?

Please, please,
pretty please?

Only if you promise never
to do your comedy homework

in my kitchen again.

"Molina."

Any relation
to Stanwood Molina?

No.

Who is he?

Beats me.

He's not a relative
of mine either.

Next.

Hey, kid.

Who do I make it out to?

Um, Buster Baxter?

Is that two m's in the "um"?

(laughing)

You haven't lost your touch,
Mr. Ruckles.

I wish I could say the same.

What happened, kid?

You sprain your funny bone?

Broke it is more like it.

I bet you never
went through a slump

where you couldn't make
anyone laugh.

Are you kidding?

Read chapters two through .

What did you do about it?

I stopped trying to be funny.

(laughing)

That's a good one.

Actually, that wasn't a joke.

Trying to be funny is like
trying to have fun.

Usually, the harder you try,
the less fun it is.

So what do I do?

Just be yourself.

And if you can't do that,
be Whoopie Studdlemeyer.

Who's that?

I don't know,

but at least he's got
a funny name.

Next.

I bet I know what you want,
Buster.

A pair of talking
hot dogs?

Actually, I think I'll have
the fish sticks instead.

Let me guess.

You've got some fish jokes
up your sleeve?

A fish joke?

I wish.

When I look at my lunch,
I just see food.

"See food"?

(laughing)

I get it.

That's a good one.

It is?

Huh.

I wasn't even fishing
for a laugh.

(laughing)

You're on fire today.

Hey, guys.

So what kind of comedy
are you trying today?

Knock-knock jokes?

No, I'm done trying
to be funny.

I may never be
funny again,

but at least I won't have
whipped cream in my ears.

(chuckling)

What?

It's true.

I also found some cherry
filling in my shoes.

At least my feet
smelled good.

(laughing)

Is this a new
stand-up routine?

No way.

I'd rather do sit-ups
than stand-up.

And I'm never going to kick
a watermelon again.

Only zucchinis.

Why zucchinis?

They squash.

(laughing)

Thank you, Vince Ruckles.

Okay, can we eat lunch already?

My fish sticks are
turning into fish stones.

(snorts)

You made me do it again.

It's not my fault.

Stop laughing.

You stop being funny.

I'm trying.

Okay, everyone think
serious thoughts.

(laughing)

That so did not work.

(laughing)