20x02 - Fern's Flights of Fancy/Cereal

[bunniefuu]

PBS KIDS OPENS
WORLDS OF POSSIBILITIES

FOR ALL CHILDREN.

THANKS TO PBS STATIONS
AND VIEWERS LIKE YOU.

♪ Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view ♪

(laughing)

♪ And I say hey ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen to your
heart, listen to the b*at ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together
and make things better ♪

♪ By working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message,
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself,
for that's the place to start ♪

♪ And I say hey ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

Hey!

Hey, D.W.!

Hey!

Whoa...

(crash)

BUSTER:
Fern!

Over here!

Here you go.

You can thank me later,
when you're published.

Published?

My mom told me

about this short story contest
for young writers.

The winner gets
their story published

in the Sunday arts section
of the Elwood City Times.

FRANCINE:
The Sunday arts section?

That's a big deal.

Hey, you could be famous!

Ever since that story
in the art section,

I've been a huge fan!

Could you please
make it out to...

Marc Brown?

(gasps)

That's Marc with a "C."

BUSTER:
"Fern's Flights of Fancy."

I'm sure tons of kids
will enter the contest.

I probably don't
stand a chance.

Oh, come on, Fern.

Everyone knows

you're the best
writer around.

There's no such thing

as "the best" writer.

It's just different people's
opinions.

Anyway, I don't write

to win contests.

I write because I love it.

Does this mean you're not
going to enter?

Well, I would like
to have more readers.

And I know just the story
I'll use.

Which one?

FRANCINE:
No, no!

Don't spoil it.

I want to be surprised

when I read it
in the paper.

(door opens)

Making case notes,
Watteau?

George!

I'm sorry, I was so wrapped up
writing this story

I completely forgot
you were coming over.

Is this for that contest?

Can I hear it?

I kind of promised
I'd keep it a secret.

Well, okay.

Actually, I think it may be

the best thing
I've ever written.

Now, it's not finished yet,

and I'm not sure
about the ending,

and it's kind of short...

Just read it already!

(takes a deep breath)

Okay, here goes.

Once, there was an old man

who lived all alone.

People felt sorry for him,
but the truth was

the old man didn't mind
living alone.

He had enough to live on

and plenty of friends
in the park.

But his friends weren't people.

They were birds.

(whistling)

Hey! There he is!

Looking sharp today,
old buddy.

BIRD:
How's it going?

FERN:
The old man
could understand the birds,

and they could understand him.

Can't complain.

Who wants pumpernickel?

FERN:
The lives of the birds
were fascinating.

There was intrigue,
adventure,

romance,
and fierce arguments,

which the old man often tried
to settle for them.

Some people thought that
the old man

had lost his marbles.

(laughing)

FERN:
But he didn't care.

He only cared what the birds
thought of him,

and the birds thought he was
the most wonderful person

they had ever met.

One day, the old man's niece
showed up.

He had never liked his niece.

Her mouth looked like
she had just eaten a lemon.

And she had very heavy
footsteps.

(loud stomping)

She told the old man

that she was concerned
about him living all alone,

so she wanted him
to move in with her.

She just wanted
to sell his house.

He knew it was all a lie.

But she was insistent.

The old man's niece
was allergic to sunlight,

so she had had her house built
without windows.

(door opens)

She gave the old man things
she thought old people liked:

applesauce,
a book of word jumbles,

and TV.

(mumbling voices on TV)

(lock clicks)

FERN:
The old man didn't know
what he would do.

He hated TV,
he hated applesauce,

and he wasn't very good
at the word jumbles.

But most of all,
he missed his friends.

(chirping)

Many months passed.

But he had a plan
to see his friends again.

On special occasions,

the old man's niece
would bring him some bread.

But he didn't eat it.

Instead, he put the bread

into the lining
of his old coat.

Now all he needed to do
was find an excuse

to get his niece
to take him outside.

He decided to pretend
he was sick.

(bell ringing)

Which wasn't that far
from the truth.

You try eating applesauce
for an entire year!

(groaning)

The niece decided
she would call a doctor

and get him
to make a house call.

(niece's voice murmuring)

The old man's plan was foiled.

But now that his door was open,

he decided
to make a run for it.

(crickets chirping)

(whistling)

Since the old man's room
didn't have any windows,

he never knew
what time of day it was.

And now it was the middle
of the night,

and there were no birds about.

(chirping)

Or were there?

Don't worry.

Help is on the way.

(whistling)

(chirping)

(man laughing joyfully)

He was never seen again.

But if you ever hear
a bird singing

in the middle of the night,
she's singing about the old man.

That was amazing!

Really?

You think so?

Do you think I'll win?

Indubitably, Watteau.

(gasps)

Beulah McInnerny?!

FERN:
Dear Diary.

From this day forward,

I hereby give up writing
forever.

I'm really sorry
you didn't win.

Whatever.

Hey, what did you think

of the piece that did win?

I thought it was
really moving.

"Nine Reasons

I Love My Grandpa"?

That's not even a story.

That's a list.

Anyway, I don't care.

I've decided
to give up writing.

What?

You're not serious!

It's no big deal.

I just want to explore
other activities for a change,

like sports.

(chirping)

(chirping)

What do you want?

Go away!

(chirping)

Stop staring at me!

Shoo! Shoo!

FRANCINE:
Where were you?

This is a soccer practice, Fern,
not the daydreaming club.

(sighs)

All right, everyone,
take five!

(chirping)

Was that bird talking to you,
like the old man in the story?

Don't ever mention that awful
story to me again.

I loved it!

Actually, I thought you might
try to submit it somewhere else.

I went online and found
all these cool magazines

that publish stories
by kids.

Forget it,
I can't send it out.

Fern, don't give up
because of one silly rejection.

I can't send it out
because I destroyed it.

(whistle blowing)

Whoo!

Let's play ball!

HARRY MILLS:
Yes, I was a judge.

I thought Fern's story
was the best.

So Fern actually won?

No, there were
two other judges

and they liked
Beulah's better.

Well, could you maybe
publish her story anyway?

She's really upset.

Sorry, kiddo.

But you can tell her
she has loads of talent,

and if she sticks to it,

I think she'll become
an amazing writer.

(sarcastically):
Goal!

Ah, Watteau!

Cleaning your study,
I see.

I say, I ran into the most
curious fellow:

a certain Harry Mills.

Hey, George.

I don't feel like
solving a case right now.

How about we just watch TV?

Gadzooks, Watteau,
it's in Great Britain.

We don't have TV yet.

FERN:
She seemed like
an average third grader:

shy, bookish.

But almost overnight,

she had become the best soccer
player they had ever seen.

How was this possible?

It was almost like
she was a machine.

That's because she was
a machine.

Even she didn't know it...

FRANCINE:
Fern, hello!

Hello!

Are you going to sh**t
sometime this century?

Practice is
almost over.

Sorry.

Oof!

Oh, brother.

Hey, Francine, could I talk
to you for a sec?

Why not?

I'm sure it'll be another hour
before she sh**t again.

Five days
with no creative writing.

It hasn't been easy.

And I think I need
to change hobbies.

The Frensky Star?

Since when does she deliver
on a Saturday?

"The Man Who Spoke with Birds"
by Fern Walters?

But how...?

It was George!

He's got some nerve,
doing this behind my back.

Fern, that was
an incredible story!

How did you
come up with that?

The birds told her.

I've been saying birds
could talk for years,

but no one listens to me.

Great story, Fern.

One word for you:

movie rights.

I'm thinking Matt Damon
as the old man.

Um, thanks.

Congratulations!

Thanks.

MUFFY:
Call me!

(chirping)

(doorbell rings)

You submitted this

without my permission.

I'm sorry, I just...

You're the most talented person
I know.

You can't give up writing.

I'm not going to.

Not anymore.

You're...
you're not angry?

No.

But you did leave out
the best part of the story.

I did?

The dedication.

"To George Lundgren,

the best friend
a writer could have."

Merci, mon ami.

(chirping)

And now a word from us kids!

Today, we're writing limericks

because just the same
as Fern does,

we are having
a writing challenge.

"There once was a bunny
called Funny.

All the while,
she hoped to be sunny."

"So she went to the Sun
and had so much fun."

"That silly bunny
from Balleny."

(applause)

It was really hard
to find a place

that rhymed with "bunny."

"Balleny" was as close
as we could find,

and it's near Antarctica.

A limerick is a five-line verse.

It's named after the county
of Limerick in Ireland.

It has an A-A-B-B-A pattern.

All the A lines end
with a rhyme,

and so do all the B lines.

"There once was a tulip
called Holy.

All the while,
he hoped to be moley."

"So he ate a bird
and turned into a nerd."

"That silly tulip
from Romey."

(applause)

We took the word "Rome"

and changed it to "Romey"
so it would rhyme.

I like limericks
because they're creative

and you can make up
your own stuff.

"There once was a bee
called Smee."

"All the while,
he wanted to see a turkey."

Gobble, gobble,
gobble!

"So he went for a walk
and played some lacrosse."

"That bee went all the way
to Germany."

(applause)

"There once was a bunny
called Sunny.

All the while,
she hoped she'd get honey."

"So she went to the market
and looked in her pocket."

"That honey was bought
with money."

(applause)

"I once went to an arcade
and got some lemonade."

"I climbed up a tree
and got stung by a bee."

(buzzing)

Ow!

"And now I need
some first aid."

And now back to Arthur!

Where is it?

Where's what, honey?

The Puffy Unicorn Crunch.

It's always right here.

What if they forgot
to put it on the shelves?

Call the manager.

D.W., you're making a mess.

But it's my
favorite cereal!

It's puffy and crunchy
and unicorny.

They probably
just ran out.

How about something else,

like Prunes
and Millet Husks?

(sighs)

Well, I'm sorry,

but you'll just have to choose
a different one.

Breakfast is ruined!

(gasps)

There's one!

But it's really small.

I'll have to save it
for a special occasion.

Is today a holiday?

No.

It's just a regular
Saturday.

It must be
a holiday somewhere!

Look it up on the internet.

Huh!

It's National Librarian's Day.

Yes!

I love librarians.

It is a special
occasion.

(gasps)

Arthur!

BUSTER:
"Cereal."

I'm home!

Mom?

Oh!

I was so caught up
in this podcast,

I didn't hear you come in.

Podcast?

What's that?

A show on the internet
where people tell stories.

I was listening to one called
"Real Life Mysteries."

It's so gripping!

Can I hear it?

Sure.

We'll listen to the next episode
over dinner.

ANNOUNCER:
Welcome to "Real Life
Mysteries."

I'm your host, Byron Hunt.

Today's episode:
are you being watched?

And if so, by whom?

Or what?

BOB:
He was everywhere,
staring at me.

What did he want?

BYRON HUNT:
Finally, Bob decided
to confront the old man.

No, don't do it, Bob.

He's a brain-sucking mutant!

BYRON HUNT:
But the old man said nothing.

Instead, he just showed Bob
a photograph.

It was of a little boy...
who looked just like Bob.

(gasps)

Bob's a brain-sucking
mutant, too?

Buster, eat.

BYRON HUNT:
And that's how Bob
learned about Rob,

the identical twin
he had never met.

Wow!

BYRON HUNT:
Next week on "Real Life
Mysteries,"

can pets predict the future?

(podcast stops)

I think I've just found

what I want to do
when I grow up.

Create podcasts?

Yeah!

You could do that now.

Really?

It's pretty easy.

You just need a microphone,
some editing software...

The hard part is coming up
with a great story.

Right.

It's got to be something
exciting, strange, mysterious.

Today on "The Baxter Files,"

what happens
to a tuna fish sandwich

left in a cabinet
for two months?

Ugh!

That smell!

It's like a sick walrus
with dirty toes.

Here, take a whiff.

Oh, right, you can't smell.

(sighs)

Well, that kind of ruins
that story.

The mysterious snail.

One minute,
you see them inching along.

The next, they vanish.

But where exactly do they go?

Oh!

Inside their shell.

Huh!

Never knew that.

The end.

(doorbell rings)

Do you know who this is?

Um... me?

No.

It's Chester,
your identical twin.

How do you feel, Arthur Read?

Confused.

Because I don't have
an identical twin.

How do you know?

You might.

Buster, I remember
when this photo was taken.

(groans)

I'm trying to make a podcast,
but I don't have any ideas.

I have an idea.

Do a story about the biggest
cereal thief in the world.

D.W., once and for all,

I didn't take your
Crunchy Unicorn Puffs.

It's Puffy
Unicorn Crunch!

And you did, too.

I saw you eating them.

I was eating Oatey Rings.

Liar!

First snowballs,
now breakfast foods.

You're heading down
a bad path, Arthur Read.

Wait!
This is perfect!

There's mystery, suspense,
plenty of weird characters...

What's he talking about?

Buster's making
some radio show.

It has all the elements
of a great story.

I've even got the perfect
name for it: "Cereal."

Today on "Cereal," an average
eight-year-old aardvark

descends into a life
of crime and depravity.

Pretty great, huh?

I'll say!

No.

Not great.

I don't want
any part of this.

Arthur, if you didn't do it,
you have nothing to fear.

I'll prove your innocence.

Ha!

Good luck with that.

Well, I would like
to get D.W. off my back.

Great! Let's start
with the scene of the crime.

There was no crime.

BUSTER:
What if someone you've known
for your entire life,

someone you've always trusted,
turned out to be dishonest?

Would you ever be able
to believe them again?

Do we ever really know someone?

This is the question
I'll try to answer on "Cereal."

(dramatic music playing)

(contented sigh)

There's no pictures?

All you do is listen
to some guy talk?

Just click on the link
I sent out last night

and give it a try.

Maybe if I can't sleep,

I will listen to your
little bedtime stories.

(laughing)

Hey, great podcast!

One question:

there was no empty box
in the trash, right?

Right.

So what did Arthur do
with the evidence?

Arthur didn't do anything
with the evidence

because Arthur
is innocent.

Make sure you listen
tomorrow.

I'm going to interview
the victim.

After I saw the box was gone,
I went into the den.

He had finished it all.

There was...

(blowing nose)

...milk dripping down his chin.

My own brother!

(crying)

Did you get that?

Want me to do it again?

No.

That was perfect.

I don't even like
Puffy Unicorn Crunch.

Why would I take it?

Revenge.

You were angry
because I gave

your Bionic Bunny doll
a makeover.

Is this true?

Well, yes.

Actually, I'm still angry
about that,

but that doesn't mean I...

Oh, I gotta go!

I was supposed to be home
an hour ago.

We'll get your side
of the story tomorrow.

When's the next one?

Did Arthur do it?

Calm down, everyone.

There'll be a new episode
online tonight.

It's an interview
with the suspect.

I can't believe how popular
this podcast is.

I have over listeners.

You just better make sure
you clear my name.

People are starting
to treat me differently.

Don't worry, I'm just interested
in telling the truth.

Oh, would you mind
putting these on?

I just thought, you know,
for the poster...

Arthur, I'm here
for the interview!

Arthur?

(sniffing)

A Puffy Unicorn Crunch nugget.

Oh no, Arthur, you didn't!

(faint chomping)

(gasps)

It was you!

(whimpering)

ARTHUR:
Buster?

Where are you?

Uh...

Be right down!

I saw your bike
out there.

Where were you?

Bathroom.

My stomach is guilty.

I mean queasy.

Gotta go!

Call you later.

(whimpering)

The dog did it?!

I want my money back!

But it was free.

Well, you should pay us
for wasting our time.

It was awful.

Worst thing
I ever heard.

Binky was right.

But that's what happened.

What was I supposed to do?

Lie?

Well, it isn't really a lie
if I just leave out a few facts.

Today, I found
the missing cereal box

right under Arthur's bed.

You can draw
your own conclusions,

but it seems as if
Arthur Read is...

I can't do it.

(rewinding)

This is your host
Buster Baxter.

Spoiler alert: this final
episode might be a letdown.

Even though all signs
pointed to Arthur's guilt,

today I found out
who the real culprit was:

his dog Pal.

There was no crime,
no plot for revenge.

Just a hungry canine who saw
an opportunity and seized it.

I started this series wondering

if you can ever
really know someone.

Well, now I have my answer.

If that someone is Arthur,
then yes.

But I wonder about myself.

At some point, I stopped caring
about Arthur's innocence

because I just wanted to make
a good story.

I think part of me
even wanted him to be guilty.

What kind of friend
does that make me?

Do we ever really know...
ourselves?

Ah! Arthur!

So, what did you think?

Well, once my name
was cleared,

I actually thought
it was pretty interesting.

Are you going to do
another one?

Are you talking
about the podcast?

I'm on episode two.

Don't say another word.

La la la la la!

BUSTER:
To watch more Arthur

and play games with all
the Elwood City friends,

You can find Arthur books
and lots of other books too

at your local library.