11x23 - Appointment TV/Karen's Virus

[bunniefuu]

all:
Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all:
Aye, aye, Captain!

- * Ohh... *

* Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? *

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he *

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * If nautical nonsense
be something you wish *

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

* *

- Ooh, take a look at this,
Gare Bear.

Found a slime ball
in your shoe?

Even purebred snails
can fall victim

to the scourge of slime balls.

[Gary hacking,
SpongeBob groans]

You really got some air
on that one.

- Meow.

- I know that meow.

That says "I'm hungry."

Lucky for you,
I speak fluent snail.

- Meow!

- Meow-meow!

- Oh, of course!

You wanna go for a walk?

Gary, you really need to work
on your pronunciation.

Okay, no walkies.

- Oh, if only you could talk
like a person.

Ooh!

"The chatterbox
translation collar?

Know what your best friend
is saying!"

A snail translator!

That's a great idea, Gary.

- Chatterbox order line.

- Hello, yes,
could you please send me

one chatterbox snail collar?

- Do you want regular, express,

or our fastest delivery option,
time warp?

- Ooh, time warp, please!

- Very well, your package
was delivered last Thursday.

- Oh, I wonder
where this came from.

Oh, here we go.

Okay, Gary, speak to me.

- Check, check.

- One, two.

Ah, that's more like it.

Hello, there, Papa Bob.

- Papa Bob.

Oh!
Oh, Gary,

now you can express
your innermost thoughts

in language I can understand.

I have so many questions.

- Lay 'em on me, Papa Bob.

- Mostly I dream
I'm flying above it all...

- Aww, that's sweet.

- While I breathe fiery
destruction

upon my enemies.

Hey, if you're gonna dream,

dream big, right?

Let's move on

to question two,
shall we?

What are your long

- To finish
restoring my hotrod.

- Yeah,
you need to get on that.

But what I really
want to know is,

how do I look
in these pants?

- They really bring out

the sharp corners
of your buttocks.

- Oh, Gary, you flatterer.

Come on, Gare, let's show
Patrick your new voice.

Oh, Patrick, I have got
a surprise for you!

Say hello to Gary.

- Hello, Gary.

- Hello, stinky man.

Hmm.

Phew!

Ooh, you're right, Gary,
I am ripe!

Ah, much better.

- Delightfully disgusting.

- Thank you, my good man.

- Thanks for the old
tooth scrubbing!

Bye!
- Sandy!

Gary has a new
translating collar.

- Hello, hairy astronaut lady.

- You know, same shell,
different day.

- Aww, that ain't nothing.

I invented a nut translator
ages ago.

- The pistachios
are all out to get me.

You can't trust 'em.

They're working
for the peanut mafia!

Walnuts are extra nutty.

- Om.

- In order to achieve
complete brainfulness,

one must clear one's mind
of all distractions.

Distractions are only
in your mind.

- You are the center
of the universe.

- Center of the universe.

[doorbell continues ringing,
Squidward continues grumbling]

- Will you answer the door
already?

- I think your doorbell's
broken, Squidward.

- I thought you might want to
chat with your neighbor.

- Why would I want to
talk to you?

- Oh, not to me.
To Gary.

- Oh, good grief.
SpongeBob, Gary can't talk.

He's a snail!

- Greetings and salutations,
grouchy man.

- I bought Gary the new pet
translator collar.

- Why would you
want to talk to him?

- Who wouldn't want to
talk to their pet?

- I was talking to Gary.

- Oh.
Those walls!

That carpet.

- Turns out Gary
has a very sophisticated

sense of design.

Well, maybe I'll give him
the guided tour.

- Hey, wait up!

- And up here, you'll find
my true masterworks,

Hidden away from the eyes
of the undeserving public.

- Ah, the naive
cephalopod style.

Not very sophisticated.

See here.

- Ugh!
Tacky.

- Hold on now!

- Don't worry, Squidward,
I'm taking notes for you.

- Feel the plainfulness
flow through you.

What's wrong with it?

- Nothing, I'm sure.

Apparently, no brain required.

Come, Papa Bob.

Let's get out of here

before this bad taste
rubs off on us.

- Don't be sad, Squidward,
we'll be back soon.

- Until next time,

remember to free yourself

from all distraction.

- Oh, I will.

Night, Gare Bear.

- Good night, Papa Bob.

- Good night.

- Ah, let's see if SpongeBob

still wants you to talk
after tonight.

Stupid rake!

Oh, Papa Bob.

No, no, no.

Oh, Papa Bob.

- I'm thirsty.

At this hour?

All right, I'll get you
some water.

- Here you go, buddy,

one water.

- I want to go to the park.

Oh, sure.
No problem, Gary.

Well, that was fun.

- My bed is too lumpy.

- All right, then.

Here, Gary, take my bed, hmm?

- Papa Bob, it's hot in here.

- Still too stuffy.

- Still too...

How's that, Gary?

- The view is so much nicer
a block away.

- Okay, okay.

This should get things rolling.

- Keep going.

Just a little more.

Perfect.

You're right, Gary.

The view is nicer over here.

Gary?
Gary!

[wheels screech,
houses clatter]

Whoa!

Oh-whoa-oh! Oh, god!
Oh, god!

Whew!

Aww, that was close, huh, Gary?

Oops.

- Aww, now where are
we gonna sleep?

You could always live

in a hole,
like that idiot sea star.

- My house!

Oh, Squidward,
we're neighbors again.

- Get off of...

- Uh, I didn't catch that,
Squidward, what'd you say?

- I said, "Get off of"...

- Hey!

- Hey!

Come back with my worm!

- Aww, looks like Squidward

wants a pet of his own
to talk to.

Meow.