02x03 - Aunt Sue

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Rutherford Falls". Aired: April 2021 to present.*
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Nathan Rutherford and Reagan Wells, life-long best friends find themselves at a crossroads when their sleepy town gets a wake-up call.
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02x03 - Aunt Sue

Post by bunniefuu »

[Waylon Jennings'
"Rainy Day Woman" playing]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Oh, rainy day woman ♪

♪ I never seem to see you
for the good times ♪

♪ Or the sunshine ♪

♪ You have been a friend
of mine, rainy day woman ♪

♪ That woman of mine,
she ain't happy ♪

♪ Till she finds
something wrong ♪

♪ And someone to blame ♪

♪ If it ain't one thing,
it's another one on the way ♪

♪ Woke up this morning
to the sunshine

♪ It sure has hell
looks just like rain ♪

♪ I know where to go
on a cloudy day ♪

- Okay, Aunt Sue,

we've got enough frybread
to feed an army.

Can we stop now?

- Reagan, we're almost
out of dough.

- But we've been cooking
all day.

I'm wasting my youth.
- [chuckles]

Your brother Curtis
graduated from high school.

It's a big deal.

- Yeah, 'cause it took him
six years.

- Go take the cakes
out of the fridge.

- This party's
bigger than Ozzfest.

We barely did anything
for your 40th.

- I was
on my bike trip to Maine.

And I don't need
a lot of attention.

- But seriously, do we ever
get to celebrate you?

- Make a big deal of me
at my funeral.

Until then, keep cooking.

- ♪ Oh, rainy day woman ♪

[indistinct PA announcement]

- Hey, Reagan.

- Should I take
the next shift?

- She's gone, honey.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

- Thank you, Uncle.

Right. Aunt Sue asked to be
buried in the family plot

with a "celebration of life"
reception afterward

at the casino.

And Terry agreed
to close it for the day

to honor her.
- Damn!

We didn't even shut down

for the Northeast
blackout of '03.

- We b*rned bingo cards
in a trash can to keep warm,

but we kept going.

- Well, if we're gonna
celebrate her

in a den of sin,

I need to do a reading
from the Good Book.

all: [grumbling]

- Um, actually,
Aunt Sue wasn't religious.

So as much as I'd love
to stuff this event

full of prayer,

I think, you know, maybe
we should honor her wishes.

- I'm sure your blessings
will carry over

from the prayer you did
to start this meeting.

- I painted
Aunt Sue's portrait.

I'd really love
to display it at her party.

- Oh.
[clears throat]

Wow, Tommy...
- Wow.

- That is just--wow.
Right, Mom?

- It's wonderful.
Thank you, Tom Tom.

We'll make sure to find
a place for it, honey.

- We want to help too.
Miss Sue loved the casino.

She was the best.

- She even dealt black jack

that one time
when Sheila's water broke.

- Whatever you need.
- Thanks.

I want this
to be a celebration

of all of the things
Aunt Sue loved, so...

we're gonna need
an insane amount

of Buffalo Wild Wings

and to blast Bonnie Raitt
at full volume.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Okay, and that is
how you do

a perfect cat-eye on the go.

Before I sign off,
always remember

my mom/best friend
Jamie's motto--

[together]
"Brows make or break a face,

so keep them sleek,
never busted."

- Oh, my God.

That is so profesh.

Are you using a ring light
or an actual halo?

Because you look
like an angel.

- [clears throat]
I appreciate your hobbies,

but we need
to get back to work

and focus on the campaign.

The debate is in two months,

and we have
to get people excited.

- I am laser-focused.

This video links
to my campaign site.

Plus I tagged AOC
and Meghan McCain,

chaotic queens on both sides.
- That's a good start,

but we need to get you
out on the streets

convincing folks
why you should be mayor.

- Yeah, grassroots stuff--
shaking hands, kissing babies.

- Oh, I'm highly allergic
to babies.

Can't I just do my thing?

I'm God-tier on social,

and my analytics
speak for themselves.

- This isn't about likes.
This is about votes.

And you get votes
by convincing people

that you care
about the same things they do.

For example, um,
it's my opinion

that the album "Crash"
by Dave Matthews

is more relevant than ever.

- Okay, this conversation took
a weirdly wonderful turn.

I don't know
why you brought that up.

We are so
on the same page, Terry.

How have we not talked
about this?

- Because I actively hate
the Dave Matthews Band.

But you see?

We made an immediate connection
and that's the key

to building a constituency.

- Okay, why you gotta
hate on DMB?

Their whole message is love.

- I get it.
But one question.

Who is Dave Matthew?

both: [laugh]

- Huh?

- This just came
from Josh Carter.

[chuckles]
Where were you?

- I was putting
Tommy's painting in the garage.

It was creeping me out.

- Oh, Reagan,
he's just trying to help.

Though the eyes do follow you.

- [chuckles]

So, saw you talking
to Mavis.

Exactly how many people
have been bugging you

about getting Aunt Sue's land?

- Ugh.

I can't count
all the "long-lost relatives"

who suddenly want to
"make sure I'm okay."

- [scoffs] It's so hard
to get land out here.

- Mm-hmm.

- The scarcity
makes people crazy.

Kind of like you
on Black Friday.

- Brat.

- But it's your property
now, Mom.

And you know I'll help you
take care of anything you need.

- I can always count on you.

Thank you, sweetheart.

- I'm the only one who knows
where Aunt Sue

buried all her g*ns.

- Right.
- I'm dead serious.

It's like John Wick's
basement over there.

- [whispers] What?

[light music]

- Hey.
- Hey!

- That's for your mom.
- Aww.

- And that's for you.

- Yes!
- [chuckles]

Reags, put me to work.

I, like--I just--
I want to do something.

I want to help.
- Amazing.

Can you please pick up
the tablecloths

by 2:00 p.m. sharp?

I found a woman who makes
Boston Bruins ones,

but she has to post
her neighbor's bail by 2:30.

- Did you say 2:00 p.m. sharp?

Because I'll be there at 1:59.
- Heck yeah.

I just really want
to make it special.

Aunt Sue did so much for us,
you know?

- She was the best.
Truly.

And that frybread?

Legendary.

I used to bring home
an extra piece

and sell it to Duz
for 10 bucks.

- Oh.
Speaking of "Duz,"

will you please text him back,

or, like, get an Instagram.

He just wants to know
how you're doing.

- Of course.
I will deal...with that.

It's just a lot to unpack
with my family.

You don't worry about that.

You are my entire focus today.

[melodic car horn sounds]

- Hey, Curtis is here.

- Wait, is that Curtis?

I love that guy.

- Nathan...
- What?

- I don't know, just--

My brother's--
don't let him take advantage.

And don't bail him out.

- Oh, come--

He lost his ATM card
that one time.

- Oh, did he?
- And if anybody got away

with something, it was me,
because I got bro time,

chillin', and hang time, and
you can't put a price on that.

- [scoffs]
Okay.

- C-Dub! My man!
What's up?

You know what?

I bet he's starving
from that drive.

Curtis!

- Hey, man, what's up, brother?
- Hey-ey!

- My sous chef has arrived.

- Check out what I got for ya.

- [laughs] All right.

- You look so great.

- Hey, Auntie Reagan.

- Oh, hey, Curtis.

So nice of you to show up
after the meeting.

- sh*t, we drove right here.
Never stopped.

Which means baby girl
needs some grub.

But you got that, right?
- [sighs]

- You know what? I'll just--
I'll pick up some pizzas.

- No, we can't put
you out like that, Nathan,

after everything you've done
for my sis,

giving her your museum.

- Uh, it did not
go down like that.

- But there's one thing
I do want from you.

- 20 bucks!
- 20 bucks you owe me, ay?

[laughter]

- Ah, take it.

- All right, sweet!
- Yeah.

- Double it at the casino.

- [chuckles]
- Oh, my God.

It's a private joke,
goes back years.

'Cause it started--

I don't actually
owe him 20 bucks,

that's why it's funny.

It's like,
he doesn't actually...

- All right,
about to meet the people,

ready to connect.
Who's first?

- Here's a softball.
What's your read on that guy?

- I'm gonna say an only child

in a sexless marriage,

but it wasn't always that way.

He wants to leave,
but he's trapped

because she's the breadwinner
and the kids' favorite.

- He's also wearing
an "I Heart Fishing" shirt,

so maybe we go with that.

- Okay, yeah.

Hi, Bobbie Yang,
running for mayor.

So do you like
fly fishing or regular?

- [sighs] I hated
leaving the powwow trail.

But I was getting
too old to dance,

and too young to MC--

And you know what?
I love what I'm doing now.

I'm not just selling hot tubs.

I'm selling a dream.

Man, when you see those elders
get in the hot tub,

the trauma just melts away.

- Well...
[clears throat]

All right, I gotta head out.

Uh, lots to do so--
- What can I do?

- Oh, no.
Don't worry about it.

You just do you.

- What, you think I can't help?

- No, I just think, you know,

sometimes we give you a job
and then you end up

taking my rental car
down to Atlantic City

and somehow
it catches on fire.

- That was one time!

- One is a lot.
- Okay, okay.

We can find something
Curtis can do.

- Yeah.

- Wh--the only thing left
is the flowers.

- Great, great.
I can do the flowers.

- That's, like,
the most important job.

- Let him do it.

He's got a knack for flowers.

- Really? Name one flower.

- Uh, a palm tree.

A rose.
A red rose.

- There's no way
you can do this on your own.

But whatever--
just no carnations.

Aunt Sue hated carnations.

She said they were
filler flowers.

- I got this, Reags.
Okay?

And I--I really gotta honor
Aunt Sue, you know?

Especially since
I'm getting her land.

- I cannot believe
you're giving

the land to Curtis.

How could you not
tell me that?

- You're always so busy.

I didn't want
to stress you out.

Look, if you had kids,
you'd understand.

- Okay, lady, you can't keep
using that excuse on me.

This morning you said
if I had kids

I'd understand
why you took the last donut.

You just wanted
the last donut, Mom.

- You see, this is why
I didn't tell you.

- Curtis hasn't been home
in years.

- You left too.
- I was at college.

He's selling hot tubs
at county fairs.

There's a big difference.
Dad, say something.

- [sighs] You ladies both know
I don't like drama.

Except for season three
of "Adirondack."

- Ugh.

- [chuckles]
Oh, boy.

That table cloth lady
was a trip...

Okay, there's
a lot of tension in here.

It's like season three
of "Adirondack."

Am I right, Bill?

- Mom is giving

Aunt Sue's land to Curtis
because he has a kid,

even though Aunt Sue
didn't have kids.

- Mm.

It's kind of messed up
to get overlooked

just 'cause
you don't have kids.

- Okay, hold on.
That's not the only reason.

Curtis is also the oldest.

- Well, Louise makes
a great point.

Plus I'm sure
we'd all be so happy

to have him back, right?

- What?
Pick a side, Nathan.

- You know,
if there is a right answer,

I'm pretty sure
I'm not gonna help you find it,

because I'm white,

so I'm gonna wait outside
till things cool down.

And you kind of left me

flapping in the breeze,
there, Bill.

- Not getting involved.

- Sweetheart, we both know
getting land out here

is damn near impossible.

All the paperwork
and phone calls,

Curtis can't handle that.

Once he has to locate
his social security card,

it's over.
- [sighs]

You're not wrong there.

- He's the one
I have to worry about.

You never need help
the way he does.

- Oh, my God.
They just sh*t Remington.

- [sighs]

- And then guess who shows up
at the wedding

two hours late?
- Please don't say Vivian.

- It was Viv!
- Ugh.

- So we should probably
move on to another--

- Oh, I just need
one more minute with Stuart.

So what happened
to the limo?

Were there enough people
to flip it back over?

- No, no.

But luckily my wife
got the collision insurance.

- Oh.
- She's a lawyer,

so she knows about this stuff.

- Oh, so your wife's
an attorney?

Well, it's been so great
talking with you.

I know I have your friendship,

but I hope I also have
your vote.

- Oh, Bobbie,
I would die for you,

but I can't vote for you here.

We live at the lake
full-time now.

- Oh, I'm sorry, what?
- That was your dream!

- Hey, there's my guy.

Nate the Great!
Yeah, yeah!

- Hey, Curt...the shirt.

That doesn't work.
No. That's--yeah.

I mean, Curt's
already a nickname.

What's up?
- You want to go for a cruise?

I gotta go do these flowers.

- Uh, I do, yeah.
- Come on!

- That'd be super fun.
I--

Just, Reagan's
pretty stressed out,

so I should hang back and help.

- Yes, totally.

But you should come.

- I sh--I should, right?
- Yes.

- I mean, how often
are you in town?

- All right, my man.

Let's go then!
- Right.

- Shotgun!

- Oh, okay.
Yeah, I'll drive.

- Well, after six hours
of in-person canvassing,

you've made three
lifelong friends,

only one of whom is eligible
to vote for you.

- And if it were up to me,

she'd be backpacking
through Luxembourg

on election day, so...

- I've never said
this before,

but I think I've made
a mistake.

At this rate,
we'll only have

30 potential Bobbie Yang voters
by the election.

- This is why
the videos work for me.

I'm a strong cup of coffee,

and it's a helpful boundary
for me and my constituents.

- Constituents are people
who actually vote,

not kids who waste their time
on the internet.

- What about people who waste
their time on the internet

and do vote?

- I can't believe
that Bobbie Slay

came to my crochet group.

My husband learned how to do
my eyeliner like yours.

He has steadier hands.

- Well, I didn't realize
this was a retirement home

for super models.

both: [chuckle]

- How do you all know
each other?

- One of the biggest users
of my makeup tutorials

are seniors.
- Keeps us fresh.

Keeps us now.

- So this is random,

but did you hear
I'm running for mayor?

- I already told
all my grandkids

to vote for you.

I'd tell my son,
if he ever visited.

- I can't believe
all of these folks

follow you online.

- Old people love the internet.

It's why they think
George Soros

put microchips
in their toothpaste.

[notification tone]

- We can work with this.

- Can't believe Reagan
doesn't trust me to do this.

Or anything.

I'm not a kid.
- I know, right?

- Okay, Reagan said
no carnations

or lots of carnations?

I don't know, she just kept
saying "carnations" a lot.

- It's no carnations.

No filler flowers.
- Right.

Okay.
Only the best for Auntie Sue.

Spare no expense.
- Yes.

- Great, you got 200 bucks?

- [snorts]
Is that--

wait, are you doing a joke?

Like it's 20x10
or something?

- No joke.
I'll pay you back.

[phone buzzes]
- I--I--hang on.

- Hey, Reags.
- Ugh.

Freaking Curtis
won't answer his phone,

so now I gotta
check on the flowers myself.

- Ah, I don't think
you need to do that.

I'm sure Curtis has things
well under control.

I mean, he's not a kid.

- I'm already here.

- Oh, you are.
- Yeah.

Because apparently everyone
was put on Earth

to help him.

- Uh, I--I--I gotta go.
Bye.

Okay, uh--oh, two things.

Number one,
that's almost all carnations,

and number two,
Reagan is here,

and is gonna walk in that door
any second.

- What?
- Yeah.

- Well--you gotta hide!

Or she's gonna hold
this sh*t over me.

- Yeah, yes, yes.

- Hide!
- Where? Where?

Oh, no, Curtis.
- Oh, come on, bro.

It's only for, like,
five minutes.

- No, no--
- Please, please, please.

- Okay. Yeah, yeah.
- Hurry, hurry, hurry.

- Okay, just five minutes.
- Okay, okay, okay.

[exhales]

Wait!
Give me your credit card first.

All right.

- Hey, what's up, Reags?

- Oh, my God!
I knew it.

Carnations?

I asked you specifically
no carnations.

Aunt Sue hated 'em.

- You're all micromanage-y
all the damn time.

- What?
- Just like when we were kids,

and I wanted to pick
Mama's birthday present.

- Oh, the time you bought her
a leather jacket in your size?

- So she would think of me
when she wore it.

- Oh, my G--what are you--

You do not deserve
Aunt Sue's land.

- Huh.
- I'm the one who stayed.

I'm the one who takes care of
the people who need me.

What have you done
for the family lately?

- [scoffs]
Okay, Ms. High and Mighty.

- Which one
are we supposed to take?

- Doesn't matter.

Wake's already started.
Coffin's empty anyway.

- Yeah, whatever,
Ms. Minishonka Princess.

Mm-hmm.
- How dare you?

Coming from
a Minishonka deadbeat,

that means a lot, actually.

Oh, you think it's funny?
- [chuckles] Oh, sh*t.

[somber organ music]

- You gave me
the world, Herbert.

And two beautiful sons,
and, uh, six grandchildren.

And, oh, a lifetime
of memories.

You made me so happy, my love.

I just can't believe
that our song is going to end.

- [gasps for air]
- Ahh!

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

I really held on
as long as I could,

but after, like, 45 minutes,
there's no oxygen

in these things.
I could have d*ed, all right?

A beautiful service, Linda.

Okay, uh,
you're probably wondering,

"Why is this strange man
climbing out

of Herbert's coffin?"

And it's a great question.

Problem is,
there's not a great answer.

Uh--oh, hi.

You're getting up.
Hi.

You must be the two sons,
Richard and Herbert Jr.

All-pro football linebackers.
[chuckles nervously]

Here's the thing.

If I know anything
about Herbert,

and I really think I do
at this point,

it's that he would have wanted
for me to leave his funeral

unharmed.

- I'm Bobbie Yang,
and I'm running

for mayor of Rutherford Falls.

Today, we're gonna put on
our face for the future.

It's starts
with a great foundation,

which for me is my mom,

who raised me
to always be glam

and to love this amazing town.

She's a home healthcare worker,

so I understand the issues
facing her industry

and the aging community
she serves.

- ♪ People are talking ♪

♪ Talkin 'bout people ♪

♪ I hear them whisper ♪

♪ You won't believe it ♪

♪ They think we're lovers ♪

- Man, Sue would
have loved this.

- Mm-hmm.
And the part she didn't love,

she would have talked
mad sh*t about.

- [chuckles]

- Does Nathan have a black eye?

[gasps]
- Damn.

- He sure does.
- Badass.

- Aunties are special.

They love you like moms,

and they forgive you
like friends,

and they got your back
like sisters.

Sue Margaret Jacobs
was my auntie.

And now that she's passed on...

Uh...

I--

[clears throat]
Sorry, I'm try--

- When I was about ten,

Aunt Sue used to have me drive
her cool Crown Vic

to pick up smokes.

[light laughter]

That wouldn't fly nowadays,

but she was old school,
you know?

And...she loved us.

And she pushed us.

A lot of us needed that.
[light laughs, murmurs]

And I'm glad that we all
got to love her back

in our own way.

- Curtis is right.

Aunt Sue taught me
how to count in Minishonka.

She also taught me
how to curse in Minishonka.

[chuckles]

I know she touched
everyone's life here,

so anyone who wants to,

please come up and say
something about Aunt Sue.

- Sue was Rage Fuel's
band manager.

At this one gig in Syracuse,
the promoter wouldn't pay us.

Sue pulled a frying pan
out of her purse,

and hit the guy in the head.

We didn't get paid,
but it was awesome.

[laughter]

- When she won the big jackpot

on "The Unicorn's Challenge,"

Sue bought everyone here
Yard Margs.

- It was the drunkest
I've ever been at work.

[sniffles]

- She looked out for me
like I was her own nephew.

And if she hadn't hired
that private detective,

I might be married
to Loretta right now.

- It's Black Friday.

And I'm screaming
on the floor, in Sears,

in labor with Curtis,

and Sue cruises up
to the Housewares department

with the doctor
on the back of her bike,

and she says,
"Let's do this!"

[laughter]

- And as Sue marches
through the gates of heaven,

may our father, God,
Prince of Peace,

maker of men,
savior of souls,

the real king of pop,

shine upon her
as he can for you

if you accept--if you accept--
- Thank you.

[groans]
Anyone else?

[mellow acoustic music]

- Sweetheart.
- Yeah?

- Here.

- No way.
- [chuckles]

You deserve it.
[chuckles]

And she would have wanted
you to have it.

My girl.

Go on.

Go take it for a cruise.

[motorcycle roars]
- Yeah!

Wow.
- Oh, my God.

- Whoa, I know
it's not land,

but this motorcycle
is freaking awesome!

- It's gonna be even cooler
when I learn how to drive it.

- Oh, yeah.

- You want to get on?
- Yes! Give me a try.

Thank you.

[revs engine]
Oh, yeah!

- Yeah, baby.

- How do you--how--off?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,

to the left.
- Okay.

- Yeah.
- There it is.

Reagan, that service today
that you put together?

Beautiful.
- Thanks.

- Herbert's service
was also lovely.

Before they punched me
in the face,

his sons actually said

some pretty poignant things
about him.

But they were also
clearly damaged.

Just a reminder,
families are messy.

- I mean, look who
you're telling that to.

Although, Curtis really did
show up for me today.

- Duz always shows up
for me too.

I freaking love that guy.
I gotta call him.

- Good.

- Love 'em or hate 'em,
we just need our families.

Get back on here.
- Okay, all right.

- Show this hog
who's boss.

- Okay, all right.
Yeah, baby.

- Yeah, looks good on you.

- [exhales]

Man, all those speeches today,
I just--

forgot what a badass
my Aunt Sue was.

- Oh, yeah.
- Never married,

never took any sh*t
from anyone.

- Mm-hmm.

- You know,
I don't know how,

but I'm gonna get
my own g*dd*mn land.

[revs engine]
[laughs]

- Yes you are!

Ugh, I don't know
if it was the funerals,

this motorcycle,
getting punched in the face,

almost suffocating
in that coffin,

but I feel so alive right now.
- I know!

I feel the power
of this matriarch's motorcycle.

- Yeah!
- [revs engine]

both: Whoo!

- I feel so free!
[revs engine]

- Okay, Charlie, last thing.

I thought you should know,
I'm pregnant.

- Wow.
I hope it's okay to ask,

the--the father's probably...
- Yes.

I'm having
Nathan Rutherford's baby.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪
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