03x01 - Roadie to Nowhere/A Fridge Too Far

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud Loud Loud ♪

♪ Loud house ♪

- Poo-poo.

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

[school bell ringing]

[clock ticking]

- Mmm...

mac and cheese bites.

- Hey, psst, Lincoln,
what'd you get for number one?

- Mac and cheese.

- Thanks, buddy.
- Really?

I thought the Native Americans
gave the pilgrims corn.

- If Lincoln says
mac and cheese,

that's good enough for me.

- I can't focus at all today.

Last night, Dad made his famous

mac and cheese bites
for dinner,

and in order to make
all that cheesy goodness last,

I saved three bites
for after school.

But if I'm gonna
get through this day

without losing my mind,

I'm just gonna have to
stop thinking about them.

- Would the following students

please report to
the principal's office?

Mac and Chaz?

- All right, everyone,
pencils down,

and let's go over
the worksheet.

Who has the answer
to number one?

- Oh! Oh! Me!
It's mac and cheese.

And if I'm wrong,
you can flunk me.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Today's the big day ♪

♪ Just gotta chill
the duck liver pâté ♪

♪ I'll show 'em
that I'm a star ♪

♪ With my yummy take
on caviar ♪

- I love that
confidence, honey.

When is the investor
getting here?

- In a few hours.

Just think,
if he likes my food,

I can open my own restaurant!

Here, try this foie gras foam.

- [grunts]

- And here's the second course.

- [sniffing]
Uh, this is just air in a jar.

- Lemon air in a jar.

High end, yet low-cal.

- Honey, no offense,

but why are you making
all this showy stuff?

What's wrong with
your famous Lynn-sagna?

- Honey, this is
Timothy McCole.

This guy travels
all over the world,

tasting exciting
and exotic food.

I--I--I can't just serve him
a--a hunk of noodles.

- Well, I like the hunk
who made those noodles,

and I think anything
he cooks is delicious.

[smooches]

- Can you say that again
when he's here?

♪ ♪

- Mac and cheese...

♪ ♪

Two bites?

I saved three!
[growls]

All right,
which of you vultures

swiped one of my
mac and cheese bites?

If you guys wanted
one so badly,

you should've saved
some of your own.

- I'm not saying
it was me--

[belches]
But if I did take one,

I only did it
'cause Lola ate

the rest of Dad's
tater tot bake.

I was saving that!

- I'm not copping to
eating the tater tot bake,

but if I did, it was because

Luan ate the last slice
of Dad's pie,

which I was saving!

- Actually, I didn't eat it.

- Oh, my bad.
- I smashed it in Lynn's face.

- [growls]

- Guys, how do you not see
that this is a problem?

Our fridge is like
the wild west.

- Look, Lincoln, nobody likes
having their leftovers swiped,

but we're a big family.

You can't expect to protect

every little bite of food
that you want.

- Oh, can't I?

- No, you can't.

[laidback jazz music]

- Hmm, I really want one of
those mac and cheese bites,

but Lincoln's gonna
have a conniption.

But then again,
watching Lincoln

have a conniption is fun.

Ow!

- That'll teach her.

- Oh, so we're protecting
our stuff now, huh?

Fine by me.

- [gasps]

Ooh, one of Dad's
yummy brownies.

Oh, wait,
didn't Luan call this?

Well, she won't mind

if I just break off
a little corner.

Oh-ho! Ow!

- The gloves are off now.
[laughs]

- Luan put that there
to protect her leftovers?

Well, I can play
that game too.

[upbeat music]

[beeping]

[bang]

♪ ♪

[electric crackling]
- Ahh!

[chomp]

- Ahh!

- That's it--you guys really
crossed the line this time.

- I'd say that line was crossed
when this happened, brah.

- Or this!
- Or this!

- Ga, ga!

- This is crazy.
We can't go on like this.

If someone could
gently let me down,

I think I have an idea.

[grunts]
[thud]

I think we can all agree,

basic order
needs to be restored,

so with an assist from Lisa,

I came up with a plan.

- Ah!
- Sorry.

Per Lincoln's request,

I calculated the refrigerator's
cubic footage,

and divided it into
equally-sized zones,

creating the optimal conditions

for what I like to call
Dairy Détente.

- Everybody gets a zone,
and the genius part is

that no one can mistake
theirs for someone else's,

because they're color coded.

[enchanting music]

all: Ooh...

- All we have to do now is
divide up Dad's leftovers

and put them in our zones.

[yelling]

- I call Dad's stuffed peppers!

- And I got dibs on
his fried chicken!

- I get his mine-strone!

- Uh, Leni, it's pronounced
mi-ne-stró-ne.

- I call it mine-strone,

'cause it's mine.

- Nice job.
Thanks for the assist.

- You're welcome.

For payment,
I will happily accept

your last
mac and cheese bite.

- Not a chance.

- [humming]

♪ Wait till he tries
my uni surprise ♪

♪ This organic beet juice
will open his eyes ♪

♪ That investor guy
will feel like a royal ♪

♪ When he tastes
my risotto with-- ♪

Dang it!
I forgot the truffle oil!

Come on, Lynn,
you're better than that.

- Next stop: yellow zone!

Can't wait to dig into
Dad's mashed potatoes.

- And my destination
is the green zone,

where I intend to feast on
father's savory meatloaf.

Nom-nom.

- Ew, gross.

Someone put something
in my zone called uni,

whatever that is.
- That would be a low fat,

high protein globular animal
in the Echinoidea class.

Street name: sea urchin.

- Well, see ya later!

[cat meows]

[munching]

Must be one of Lori's
gross health foods,

and it does not
belong in my zone.

- Ick, Lucy's homemade blood

does not belong in my zone.

Buh-bye.
[cat meows]

[upbeat jazz music]

- Ew! What is this black goo?

[sniffs]
Ew, it smells fishy.

Must be Lana's bait.
Not in my zone.

♪ ♪

- "Duck liver pate"?

Ew! Lisa!
If you wanna dissect animals,

don't put their icky organs
in my zone.

[cat groans]

[purrs]

[tires screech]
- If they can't be on time,

just cancel the appointment,
and move my : to :,

my : to :,

and my pedicure to :.

- Oh, hi there--Lynn Loud Sr.
I am so glad to meet--

- Timothy McCole,
but call me Tim,

'cause Timothy takes
more time to say,

and time is the one thing
I don't have.

Now, let's see
what you got for me.

- Uh, don't worry, Tim,

you'll be eating
before you know it.

[screams]

[dramatic musical stings]

- Is everything all right?
- Um--uh, of course!

I--I--I always scream
when I open the fridge.

See?
[screaming]

- Okay, I guess every chef
has his own style.

- Uh, Tim, can I interest you

in, uh, apéritif?
[chuckles]

- Well, I'd really rather--
- Good, here's a juice box.

Go sit down.

I'll call you
once dinner's ready.

Where are all
my ding dang ingredients?

- Dad, are you okay?
We heard a woman yelling.

- No, I'm not okay.

There's an investor
in the living room

waiting to try my food, and
all my ingredients are gone!

[cat groans, vomits]

Well, there's my pâté...

And my caviar...

And my uni.

Cliff, how did you get
your paws on my ingredients?

- It wasn't Cliff's fault, Dad.

We threw out your ingredients.

He must've gotten them
out of the trash.

- What?
Wh--why would you do that?

- We didn't know
they were yours.

- See, we kinda divided
the fridge into zones,

because we'd been stealing
each other's leftovers.

- So when we found
your stuff in our zones,

we assumed someone
was violating the system.

- You kids know I love your
creative conflict resolutions,

but now I have nothing
to serve my investor!

- [slurping]

- And he's almost done
with his juice box!

- We're sorry, Dad.

We never meant for something
like this to happen.

- [sighs]
Well...

I guess my restaurant dreams
are in the toilet.

I better go tell No-Time Tim

his afternoon just opened up.

- Dad, wait!

What if you serve him
your leftovers!

- Yeah, that's a great idea.

- You can take the stuffed
pepper I've been saving.

- And, uh, I can part
with your meatloaf.

- And I'll give you this soup!

Mine-strone is now your-strone.

- Oh, that's a nice
thought, guys,

but Tim won't want any of that.

He's used to eating the most
amazing food in the world.

- But your leftovers are the
most amazing food in the world.

- Truth, Pop Star.

Look what we did
to keep 'em to ourselves.

- [sniffs]
Well...

I guess it's worth a sh*t.

[suspenseful music]

- [chomps, munching]

♪ ♪

[gulps]

Well, Lynn, I'm gonna
give it to you straight.

This is one of...

The best meals I've ever eaten!

- I knew it was a dumb idea.
I should've never served it!

I--um, wait, what?

- I've been all over the world,

and every chef serves me
the same thing.

Caviar, pâté, uni--

it's boring and uninspired.

Do you know
at the last place I ate,

the chef served me
air in a jar?

- Pfft! Ha! What a bozo!

- But your food is classic,

comforting, and delicious,

and when you travel
as much as I do,

there's nothing better than
food that tastes like home.

Ooh, I wanna be in
the Lynn Loud business!

- Wow, ha, thank you, Tim.

I--I--I don't know what to say!

- I don't do hugs.

[phone rings]
You got Tim.

- We do hugs!

- [exhaling]
- So, how did it go?

- Ah, Dad kicked butt!

- Yeah, I'm one step closer

to my dream of
owning a restaurant.

- I'm so proud of you, honey!

I guess he liked your uni
and your lemon air.

- Actually, he liked
my leftover Lynn-sagna,

just like you said.

- And all his
other leftovers too!

- That's wonderful!

This calls for a celebration.

Who wants some of
Dad's chocolate cake?

all: Me!

- Wait, I didn't see any
chocolate cake in the fridge.

- Well, that's because
I stashed it under the couch.

What, I can't claim
any leftovers?

- I'll go score us some!
- Lynn, wait!

[bang]
- Ahh!

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud Loud Loud ♪

♪ Loud house ♪

- Poo-poo.

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

[school bell ringing]

[clock ticking]

- Mmm...

mac and cheese bites.

- Hey, psst, Lincoln,
what'd you get for number one?

- Mac and cheese.

- Thanks, buddy.
- Really?

I thought the Native Americans
gave the pilgrims corn.

- If Lincoln says
mac and cheese,

that's good enough for me.

- I can't focus at all today.

Last night, Dad made his famous

mac and cheese bites
for dinner,

and in order to make
all that cheesy goodness last,

I saved three bites
for after school.

But if I'm gonna
get through this day

without losing my mind,

I'm just gonna have to
stop thinking about them.

- Would the following students

please report to
the principal's office?

Mac and Chaz?

- All right, everyone,
pencils down,

and let's go over
the worksheet.

Who has the answer
to number one?

- Oh! Oh! Me!
It's mac and cheese.

And if I'm wrong,
you can flunk me.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Today's the big day ♪

♪ Just gotta chill
the duck liver pâté ♪

♪ I'll show 'em
that I'm a star ♪

♪ With my yummy take
on caviar ♪

- I love that
confidence, honey.

When is the investor
getting here?

- In a few hours.

Just think,
if he likes my food,

I can open my own restaurant!

Here, try this foie gras foam.

- [grunts]

- And here's the second course.

- [sniffing]
Uh, this is just air in a jar.

- Lemon air in a jar.

High end, yet low-cal.

- Honey, no offense,

but why are you making
all this showy stuff?

What's wrong with
your famous Lynn-sagna?

- Honey, this is
Timothy McCole.

This guy travels
all over the world,

tasting exciting
and exotic food.

I--I--I can't just serve him
a--a hunk of noodles.

- Well, I like the hunk
who made those noodles,

and I think anything
he cooks is delicious.

[smooches]

- Can you say that again
when he's here?

♪ ♪

- Mac and cheese...

♪ ♪

Two bites?

I saved three!
[growls]

All right,
which of you vultures

swiped one of my
mac and cheese bites?

If you guys wanted
one so badly,

you should've saved
some of your own.

- I'm not saying
it was me--

[belches]
But if I did take one,

I only did it
'cause Lola ate

the rest of Dad's
tater tot bake.

I was saving that!

- I'm not copping to
eating the tater tot bake,

but if I did, it was because

Luan ate the last slice
of Dad's pie,

which I was saving!

- Actually, I didn't eat it.

- Oh, my bad.
- I smashed it in Lynn's face.

- [growls]

- Guys, how do you not see
that this is a problem?

Our fridge is like
the wild west.

- Look, Lincoln, nobody likes
having their leftovers swiped,

but we're a big family.

You can't expect to protect

every little bite of food
that you want.

- Oh, can't I?

- No, you can't.

[laidback jazz music]

- Hmm, I really want one of
those mac and cheese bites,

but Lincoln's gonna
have a conniption.

But then again,
watching Lincoln

have a conniption is fun.

Ow!

- That'll teach her.

- Oh, so we're protecting
our stuff now, huh?

Fine by me.

- [gasps]

Ooh, one of Dad's
yummy brownies.

Oh, wait,
didn't Luan call this?

Well, she won't mind

if I just break off
a little corner.

Oh-ho! Ow!

- The gloves are off now.
[laughs]

- Luan put that there
to protect her leftovers?

Well, I can play
that game too.

[upbeat music]

[beeping]

[bang]

♪ ♪

[electric crackling]
- Ahh!

[chomp]

- Ahh!

- That's it--you guys really
crossed the line this time.

- I'd say that line was crossed
when this happened, brah.

- Or this!
- Or this!

- Ga, ga!

- This is crazy.
We can't go on like this.

If someone could
gently let me down,

I think I have an idea.

[grunts]
[thud]

I think we can all agree,

basic order
needs to be restored,

so with an assist from Lisa,

I came up with a plan.

- Ah!
- Sorry.

Per Lincoln's request,

I calculated the refrigerator's
cubic footage,

and divided it into
equally-sized zones,

creating the optimal conditions

for what I like to call
Dairy Détente.

- Everybody gets a zone,
and the genius part is

that no one can mistake
theirs for someone else's,

because they're color coded.

[enchanting music]

all: Ooh...

- All we have to do now is
divide up Dad's leftovers

and put them in our zones.

[yelling]

- I call Dad's stuffed peppers!

- And I got dibs on
his fried chicken!

- I get his mine-strone!

- Uh, Leni, it's pronounced
mi-ne-stró-ne.

- I call it mine-strone,

'cause it's mine.

- Nice job.
Thanks for the assist.

- You're welcome.

For payment,
I will happily accept

your last
mac and cheese bite.

- Not a chance.

- [humming]

♪ Wait till he tries
my uni surprise ♪

♪ This organic beet juice
will open his eyes ♪

♪ That investor guy
will feel like a royal ♪

♪ When he tastes
my risotto with-- ♪

Dang it!
I forgot the truffle oil!

Come on, Lynn,
you're better than that.

- Next stop: yellow zone!

Can't wait to dig into
Dad's mashed potatoes.

- And my destination
is the green zone,

where I intend to feast on
father's savory meatloaf.

Nom-nom.

- Ew, gross.

Someone put something
in my zone called uni,

whatever that is.
- That would be a low fat,

high protein globular animal
in the Echinoidea class.

Street name: sea urchin.

- Well, see ya later!

[cat meows]

[munching]

Must be one of Lori's
gross health foods,

and it does not
belong in my zone.

- Ick, Lucy's homemade blood

does not belong in my zone.

Buh-bye.
[cat meows]

[upbeat jazz music]

- Ew! What is this black goo?

[sniffs]
Ew, it smells fishy.

Must be Lana's bait.
Not in my zone.

♪ ♪

- "Duck liver pate"?

Ew! Lisa!
If you wanna dissect animals,

don't put their icky organs
in my zone.

[cat groans]

[purrs]

[tires screech]
- If they can't be on time,

just cancel the appointment,
and move my : to :,

my : to :,

and my pedicure to :.

- Oh, hi there--Lynn Loud Sr.
I am so glad to meet--

- Timothy McCole,
but call me Tim,

'cause Timothy takes
more time to say,

and time is the one thing
I don't have.

Now, let's see
what you got for me.

- Uh, don't worry, Tim,

you'll be eating
before you know it.

[screams]

[dramatic musical stings]

- Is everything all right?
- Um--uh, of course!

I--I--I always scream
when I open the fridge.

See?
[screaming]

- Okay, I guess every chef
has his own style.

- Uh, Tim, can I interest you

in, uh, apéritif?
[chuckles]

- Well, I'd really rather--
- Good, here's a juice box.

Go sit down.

I'll call you
once dinner's ready.

Where are all
my ding dang ingredients?

- Dad, are you okay?
We heard a woman yelling.

- No, I'm not okay.

There's an investor
in the living room

waiting to try my food, and
all my ingredients are gone!

[cat groans, vomits]

Well, there's my pâté...

And my caviar...

And my uni.

Cliff, how did you get
your paws on my ingredients?

- It wasn't Cliff's fault, Dad.

We threw out your ingredients.

He must've gotten them
out of the trash.

- What?
Wh--why would you do that?

- We didn't know
they were yours.

- See, we kinda divided
the fridge into zones,

because we'd been stealing
each other's leftovers.

- So when we found
your stuff in our zones,

we assumed someone
was violating the system.

- You kids know I love your
creative conflict resolutions,

but now I have nothing
to serve my investor!

- [slurping]

- And he's almost done
with his juice box!

- We're sorry, Dad.

We never meant for something
like this to happen.

- [sighs]
Well...

I guess my restaurant dreams
are in the toilet.

I better go tell No-Time Tim

his afternoon just opened up.

- Dad, wait!

What if you serve him
your leftovers!

- Yeah, that's a great idea.

- You can take the stuffed
pepper I've been saving.

- And, uh, I can part
with your meatloaf.

- And I'll give you this soup!

Mine-strone is now your-strone.

- Oh, that's a nice
thought, guys,

but Tim won't want any of that.

He's used to eating the most
amazing food in the world.

- But your leftovers are the
most amazing food in the world.

- Truth, Pop Star.

Look what we did
to keep 'em to ourselves.

- [sniffs]
Well...

I guess it's worth a sh*t.

[suspenseful music]

- [chomps, munching]

♪ ♪

[gulps]

Well, Lynn, I'm gonna
give it to you straight.

This is one of...

The best meals I've ever eaten!

- I knew it was a dumb idea.
I should've never served it!

I--um, wait, what?

- I've been all over the world,

and every chef serves me
the same thing.

Caviar, pâté, uni--

it's boring and uninspired.

Do you know
at the last place I ate,

the chef served me
air in a jar?

- Pfft! Ha! What a bozo!

- But your food is classic,

comforting, and delicious,

and when you travel
as much as I do,

there's nothing better than
food that tastes like home.

Ooh, I wanna be in
the Lynn Loud business!

- Wow, ha, thank you, Tim.

I--I--I don't know what to say!

- I don't do hugs.

[phone rings]
You got Tim.

- We do hugs!

- [exhaling]
- So, how did it go?

- Ah, Dad kicked butt!

- Yeah, I'm one step closer

to my dream of
owning a restaurant.

- I'm so proud of you, honey!

I guess he liked your uni
and your lemon air.

- Actually, he liked
my leftover Lynn-sagna,

just like you said.

- And all his
other leftovers too!

- That's wonderful!

This calls for a celebration.

Who wants some of
Dad's chocolate cake?

all: Me!

- Wait, I didn't see any
chocolate cake in the fridge.

- Well, that's because
I stashed it under the couch.

What, I can't claim
any leftovers?

- I'll go score us some!
- Lynn, wait!

[bang]
- Ahh!

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪