02x04 - Suite and Sour

[bunniefuu]

♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

♪ In the Loud house

♪ In the Loud house

♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love

♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

♪ One boy and ten girls

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

♪ Loud Loud Loud

♪ Loud house

Poo-poo.

[upbeat ' s music]

♪

Well, it took years,
but the ol' jug of loose change

is finally paying off.

I can't believe
we've saved enough

for a luxury spa weekend.

I can't remember
the last time we had

two whole days to ourselves.

Summer of '.
Clinton, the Spice Girls,

and Mark McGuire.

You think the kids will be okay?

I feel bad we aren't taking 'em.

Oh, they'll be fine.

We will not be fine.

Look at this place, you guys.

It's got a spa,
eight different pools,

and a business center!

We are missing out on all of it!

Yeah, and while Mom and Dad
are living it up,

we'll be sucking in cat hair
at Aunt Ruth's.

Ooh. I call dibs
on not clipping her toenails.

Dang it.

We're just gonna
have to convince Mom and Dad

to take us with them.

I know just the thing.

Oh, it's so cute the kids are
putting on a play for us.

Yeah, yeah, do I have time
to pee?

Dang it.

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the Loud House
theater production

of "Weekend at Aunt Ruth's."

[both meowing]

Kitty-cat.

Ugh!

This pudding expired
four years ago.

You waste that and
it's litter box duty for you.

One day later.

Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today

to say farewell
to our sister Luna.

If only her pudding had been
as fresh as her jams.

And now, another play entitled,

"Weekend at a Luxury Spa Hotel."

What a beautiful
business center.

Sister, keep your voice down.

We must be respectful
of other guests.

Golly, our kids are
so well behaved.

And since we took them
on this nice trip,

maybe they won't
put us in a nursing home

when we're older.

I take it you kids want to go
to the hotel this weekend?

Look, kiddos, this is
the first chance

your mother and I have had
to relax in a long time.

But Dad, we'll be so good,

you won't even know we're there.
We promise.

[upbeat music]

♪

Lynn Loud, Sr., checking in.

Welcome. Uh, just the two bags?

Yep. [Laughs] Just kidding.

Everything in the van, good sir.

[car horn blaring]

Thank you much.

Oh, I almost forgot.

There's more
where that came from.

Okay, g*ng, your Mom and I
are headed to the spa.

Now, we're trusting you
to stay out of trouble.

[all talking at once]

Could've sworn I packed
my feather fedora.

[sarcastic] No! Oh, darn.

You look so good in it too.

[rock music]

Race you to the bottom.

Oh, it is on!

♪

[laughs]

- Ugh!
- What?

[scoffs] What is taking so long?

If I don't get back to the room
and get my phone,

I could literally die.

Ugh! Let's just take the stairs.

[baby babbles]

- What are you doing?
- [screams]

Oh, hi, Lucy. I read somewhere

that this resort is haunted

by the ghost
of the Footless Bellboy.

They say if you
listen carefully,

you can still hear his stumps
trying to deliver room service.

Whoa, sign me up.

Both elevators out? I'm on it...

[all grunt]
- Oh, excuse us.

Cute pin.
Totes matches my dress.

Excuse me, um, Fritz?

How am I supposed to get
to my room

with the elevator broken?

Ooh, heels and stairs?

You should def take a room
on the first floor.

Great. Can I get a key?

Excuse me, Fritz?
I'd also like a different room.

Okay.

[bell dinging]

I'm so sorry,
but a private party booked

the entire massage facility.

Might this "change" your mind?

Well, worth a sh*t.

I wonder what big-wig
is in there.

[light jazz playing]

♪

Less oil, sweetheart.

You're not marinating a chicken.

Elevator repair, huh?

Bet that job's got
a lot of ups and downs.

Sorry. Didn't mean to push
your buttons.

[laughs] Get it?

[rock music]

- Let's go rage!
- Let's do this.

Ugh. Looks like
I'll have to disinfect the pool.

Goodness knows what fungi
await me in these waters.

♪

Gah!

[dramatic music]

Papa Loud in the house!

Might wanna close the pool,
Fritz!

If you don't fix this,
will they give you the shaft?

[laughs] Get it?

Please leave.

[gasping]

Uh-oh. This isn't our floor.

[gasps]

I can sense
the Footless Bellboy's presence,

but he's not gonna show himself
with all these lights on.

I'm a step ahead of you,

but which one of these
is for the basement?

Try them all.

[panting]

[grunts]

Both: It's him!

[both grunt]

I think our trip
might be cursed.

Don't say that.
We still have the TV.

glorious satellite channels.

[pleasant music playing on TV]

[static]

[sobs]

[grunts]

[yelling]

[crash]

[laughs]

Well, on the bright side,
at least the kids

haven't been causing
any trouble.

That's true. I haven't heard
a peep from them all day.

[phone ringing]

Yello!

Mr. "La-ood"?

We've been getting
some complaints about your kids.

My kids? Wait,

you sound a lot
like my daughter, Leni.

You sound a lot like my dad,
Dad.

Ghost hunting?
Elevator breaking?

Pool wrecking?

What happened to "you won't
even know we're here"?

You're all grounded to the room

for the rest of the weekend.

Your father and I
would like to try

to enjoy some relaxation time.

Well, I feel terrible.

Yeah, from now on.
We really have to behave.

[cell phone ringing]

Bobby boo boo bear?
It's literally been forever!

Hang on, let me go
somewhere more private.

Lori!
We're grounded to the room!

The balcony is the room.

Well, I'm gonna hit the showers.

Uh, Lynn?

The bathroom is also the room.

Fritz, break's over.
Get down here.

Leni, you can't leave.

Do you want to tell
my boss that?

Ah!

[dramatic music]

[screams]

Uh, guys, little problem
with the shower.

I'm on it, sister.

♪

Hmm, I've never worked with this
particular model before,

but I'm sure I can
figure something out.

♪

Wow, Lana, that was amazing.

Here's my card.
Referrals are welcome.

[both scream]

[dramatic music]

♪

[giggles] No, you hang up first.

[giggles] No, silly, you.

[click]

Huh. I can't believe he hung up.

[groans]

Not again.

That sounds like the thumps
of the Footless Bellboy!

This must be
his stumping grounds.

You guys better shake a leg.

There's a ghost afoot.

[laughs] Get it?

Are you done?

[pounding on the door]

He must be trapped
behind the air conditioner.

We need to free him.

[car alarm blaring]

- [gasps]
- Gasp.

[pounds at the door]

[knocking at the door]

Yo, what are you guys
doing in here?

Fritz said this was our room.

Well, Fritz was wrong. Bye now.

Not so fast. Come on, boys!

[chuckles]
All right, let's rage!

[all cheering]

[rock music playing on boom box]

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah!

[phone ringing]

- Goo?
- Yes, "La-ood" family?

This is Fritz at the front desk.

Could you please keep it down?
We're getting some complaints.

[babbles]

Well, you sound
just like my sister Lily.

All: Yah!

- [groans]
- And stay out, you stinkers!

[grunts] We must disinfect
the area immediately.

Who knows where those hooligans
have been?

[bird caws]

Gah! [Bird caws]

[rock music]

[groans]
Thanks for locking me out,

you guy... [screams]

[crash]

[both screaming]

What is going on here?

Ahem! Ahem!
I'm sorry, "La-oods,"

but I have to ask you to leave.

Our one chance
at a relaxing weekend, gone.

- Poof.
- Oh, now, come on, honey.

We'll get that jug
filled up again someday.

Oh, you're right.
Gotta stay positive.

In fact,
here's the first nickel.

Oh! It was a button.
It's hopeless.

[sobbing]

We really blew it.

Yeah, we gotta
make it up to them.

I have an idea.

Not another one
of your dumb plays.

Okay. I have a second idea.

[upbeat ' s music]

Mr. and Mrs. "La-ood,"

welcome to your very own
luxury spa hotel.

Amenities include a hot tub.

Complementary dry cleaning.

Room service.

And free in-room massage.

Oh, what are you do... [screams]

Actually, that feels great.

We want you guys to have
the weekend you were expecting...

The weekend you deserve.

I can't believe you kids
did all this.

[car horn honking]

Dudes, she's here!

This time you truly won't know
we're here, because we won't be.

We're going to Aunt Ruth's
so you guys can really relax.

Oh, how'd we get
such thoughtful kids?

[upbeat music]

[tires screeching]

Think we should have told them
why we really got kicked out?

[both laughing]

- Marco!
- Polo!

Well? Care to explain?

What say we just
forget about this?

That's a button, pal.

Eh, we'll tell 'em
when they're older.

Race you to the hot tub!

- [laughing] Oh, no you don't!
- Come on, come on, come on!

♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ Loud house

♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

♪ Loud house

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with kids

♪ That's the way it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house