- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach
the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can
smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's gotta do
what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge,
push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud, Loud, Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
- Dad's gonna love this!
- Exactly, right?
- It's perfect
for his birthday!
- Awesome!
- Dang, Lols,
you're really on your
rhinestone game today.
- Thank you for noticing.
Daddy's scrapbook
needs a little glam.
- And a little glue.
- Best birthday present ever!
[beeping]
- Red alert, people!
The birthday boy is stirring.
Hide the scrapbook!
Hide everything!
all:
[panicked chattering]
- Kotaro, why didn't you tell
me table five is gluten free?
[gasps]
- False alarm.
It was simply
an outburst of sleep talking.
all:
[relieved sighing]
- Ooh, hey, check it out.
- Oh, I remember that.
That was from the time
you and Dad dressed as cattle
to try to win
tickets to Dairyland.
- Uh-huh.
Sure ended up being
a cow-tastrophe!
But it was and udderly
good time in the moo-ment!
In fact--
- Forget I asked, dude.
- Guys, you have to see
what Carol Pingrey just posted.
all:
[groaning]
- We don't care.
And why aren't you working?
Phones down!
- No, look!
That's Carol's dad.
His birthday was yesterday
and she got him a sculpture
of his head made
out of Belgian chocolate.
- Whoa, that's
a seriously nice gift.
- I hate to be that guy,
but I'm starting to think
this scrapbook
isn't gonna cut it.
- Yeah, it seemed like
something Dad would like,
but maybe it's
kind of a lame gift.
- But what can we do now?
Our time is limited.
Father's nearing
the end of his REM cycle.
- Guys, the mall
opens in ten minutes.
We can find a better
present for Dad there.
- Noice!
Let's pool our money
and buy something sick.
- Let's do this!
Okay, where should we start?
all:
Ooh.
- One of these would
look rockin' hanging from
Vanzilla's rearview mirror!
Which should we get?
- How about a cat?
Dad's always going on
about how much he loves Cliff.
- [gasps]
Or a unicorn!
It's magical and special,
just like Daddy.
- Wait, guys, I've got it.
Remember that time we went
to the aquarium and Dad bonded
with a dolphin named Kenny?
[dolphin chattering]
- Gasp.
It's perfect.
all:
Dolphin!
- Ooh, a porpoise.
Nice choice.
- Hang on, what?
Ah, of course.
The truncated snout
should have given it away.
- We can't give this to Dad.
Remember that same trip
to the aquarium
and the porpoise
who stole his wallet?
- Hoo-hoo!
Thanks for the swim, buddy!
[porpoise chattering]
- Yeah, we couldn't get
anything at the gift shop!
- This isn't gonna work, guys.
We need to keep looking!
- How much for the unicorn?
[dramatic music]
- Wait!
I've literally got it.
all:
Dad loves fun ties!
- Ooh, my people!
Why don't we get him this one?
Dad loves rocking
out to retro vinyls!
- Yikes, sorry.
I got him that exact tie
for Father's Day, remember?
- [squeals]
How 'bout this one?
- Aw, I got Dad
that for his last birthday.
- [coos]
- Wait, didn't you get
him that tie as
a restaurant-opening gift?
- Poo-poo.
- Wow, we sure have
gotten Dad a lot of ties.
Has this gift become...
a tad unoriginal?
- Hey, Loud kids,
you here to buy another
tie for your dad?
- Yeah, we should keep looking.
- Hey, everybody, over here!
This guy makes
customized kitchen tools.
We can put Dad's name
on anything we want!
- Oh, perfect.
Dad loves his name.
- Why don't we get
him a new spatula?
I broke his old one
when I used it to mix cement.
- Great, you can pick
your customized spatula up...
mm... next Tuesday.
- Next Tuesday?
What kind of a scam is this?
- You see, first we ship
the spatula to a craftsman
who's trained his whole life
in the art
of kitchenware engraving.
He's located in Germany--
- Forget that.
I can just bite Dad's
name into a spatula.
- [sighs]
Spit.
- Come on, guys.
We need to speed this up.
- Luan's right.
We've been gone for hours.
We've already missed
half of Dad's birthday!
- How about this fancy rock?
- [scoffs]
It's called a geode.
[gasps]
And it costs a whopping
clams.
- Whoa, never mind.
- You guys have to see this!
If you try sometimes,
you just might find
you get what you need.
- O-M-Gosh,
it's perfect!
What is it?
- It's a royal guard.
Known colloquially
as a beefeater.
Ideal for a father
with an affinity
for all things British.
- And it's a nutcracker!
Dad won't have to borrow
my upholstery hammer
to smash open walnuts anymore!
- This is literally the best
gift in the entire world!
Let's go give it to Dad!
Wait, where's Lola?
- The unicorn.
I would like
to buy it from you.
[tires squealing]
[overlapping chatter]
- [gasping]
- Uh, what's going on?
- Kotaro, this is literally
the best gift
in the entire world!
[sobbing]
- Well, he's only
saying that 'cause he
hasn't seen our gift yet.
all:
[laughing]
- A real life Beefeater!
I can't believe it.
- His post is outside
of the Tower of London.
I used all of my airline
miles to fly him out here.
But wait, there's more!
- [squeals]
- He's going to take you
to lunch at Bangers and Mosh!
He said he'll help you
perfect your British accent!
- [sobbing]
This is going to be
the greatest experience
of my life!
[sobbing]
- [groans]
This ding-dang beef guy
just made our
nutcracker look so lame.
- Between this
and the scrapbook,
we are really oh-for-two today.
- What are we
supposed to get Dad now?
The nutcracker was
the best thing at the mall!
- Well, maybe we
shouldn't get Dad a thing.
Maybe we should follow Kotaro's
lead and get him an experience.
all:
Ooh!
- Well, won't be needing
this hunk of junk anymore.
- Lynn, we need to return that
or we won't have any money.
Ah, good point.
I'll go get it.
- Hey, Flip, we're
looking for tickets for--
- Whoa, slow down there, chief.
That's not my game.
But I do know a handsome
fella you can talk to.
Welcome to Tucker's
Tix and Tux!
What can I do you for?
- Okay, Tucker,
we wanna buy our dad
a cool experience
for his birthday.
- Well, I'm your man!
What does your Pops like?
Skydiving?
Horseback riding? Parasailing?
- Ooh, parasailing sounds fun.
- Dad's always said
if he could choose
one superpower,
it'd be flight.
- LJ, pay the man.
- Hey, wait,
we're missing a dollar.
- What?
I was getting hangry!
- You know,
I think this experience
will mean far more to Father
than a material good.
- O-M-Gosh!
[tires squeal]
- What?
Did I hit another trash can?
- No, look what
Becky just posted.
She got her dad
a parasailing experience, too.
- Ooh, yikes.
More like para-failing.
[laughing]
But seriously, that looks
way too dangerous for Dad.
- We need to go back to Flip's
and get him something else!
Also I want some kettle corn.
- Buckle up!
[tires screeching]
- Sure, I can exchange
your ticket for something else.
Minus the % deposit,
of course.
- Fine.
So what can we afford now?
- Snowboarding?
- Landscape painting?
- Ooh, what about this one?
A private cooking class
with celebrity chef Guy Grazer!
- Sounds great!
- Yeah!
- Flip, we'll take it.
- Flip? Don't know the guy.
Sure sounds good
looking, though.
- Wow, apparently Guy Grazer
has helped a lot of chefs
improve their craft!
Ooh, there's a video
from one of his classes!
- What is this literal
pile of flaming garbage?
Your sauce is weak
because you're weak!
- [sobbing]
- Uh, Guy seems
kind of intense.
- Yeah, I don't think
Dad would like this.
He's very sensitive
to raised voices.
- We have to go back
and get him something else!
Also, I need some
sparkling water to wash down
this kettle corn.
[coughs]
- And there's your refund,
minus your % deposit,
of course.
Oh, and the restocking fee.
- Okay, guys, we don't
have a lot of money left.
- Paintball?
- Night at the aquarium?
- Too expensive.
Actually, we may not
be able to afford anything.
- Well, how much you got?
- Very little.
- Hmm, I do have one thing
that might fit your budget.
- This is actually pretty fun!
- Daddy would not like this.
- Yeah,
Dad's very sensitive
to, uh, whatever this is.
- Sorry, Flip,
we're going to pass.
- [grunts]
- No problem,
it's not for everybody.
Here's the bill
for the test run.
There's a customer survey
on the bottom and I'd sure
appreciate a five-star
rating, eh?
- Well, we got cents left.
Maybe Dad would like
a side of ranch dressing?
- Man, we've totally
blown Dad's birthday.
- Come on, guys.
We can't give up.
There's gotta be something
nice we can do for him.
- I could make
him some pudding!
- I can realign his spine!
- I can teach him
how to part his hair
so it covers his problem areas,
you know--
[overlapping chatter]
- [sobbing]
- Whoa.
- What's that?
- [sobbing]
I can't believe those kids.
- Aww, honey.
- Uh, why is Dad crying?
- Guys, it's obvious.
We blew off his whole
birthday looking for a present.
And he doesn't even know
the worst part yet,
that we never found one.
- There's only one
thing left to do.
Apologize.
all:
[sighing]
- [sobbing]
- Hey, Dad?
- We're so sorry we
ruined your birthday.
- What are you talking about?
You kids gave me--
[sobbing]
the best gift ever.
- Our scrapbook?
- Yeah, I'm sorry I opened
it before you got home.
Cliff dragged it in here
and blew your big surprise.
- So, you like it?
- [sobbing]
I love it!
It reminds me of all
the great memories
we've made together.
[stammers]
Nothing could b*at that.
- Actually, Daddy, we weren't
even finished with it yet.
We had more memories
we wanted to add...
and ten times more sparkles.
- Like the time we filled
up a kiddie pool with Flippees!
- And the time we went
to a -D movie, threw up,
and then saw it again.
[overlapping chatter]
- And I don't think
we'll ever forget that time
we made you that scrapbook.
- Oh, Leni.
- [yawns]
- Thanks for breakfast, honey.
I should be back around four,
after I finish
pulling Flip's wisdom teeth.
- I thought you
already did that.
- He grew another set.
- What?
- You know, I was thinking,
the kids have been
really good this week,
haven't they?
- Oh, they've been great.
No calls from school...
- No trips to the ER...
- I only had
to raise my voice once.
- We should do something
special for the kids.
How about taking them out
for ice cream when I get back?
- Ah, I love it!
We could go
to Auntie Pam's Parlor.
- And you know what,
I think someone's ready
for her first
taste of ice cream.
- Oh, this is my favorite
of all the milestones!
What do you think, sweetie?
You wanna try some...
Ice cream?
- [gasps]
[incoherent babbling]
[gasps]
[giggling]
[light music]
[gasps]
[giggling]
♪
[gasps]
[giggling]
[gasps]
♪
[shrieks]
- So, ice cream sounds good?
- Darn tootin'.
If today goes okay, too.
- Let's see if your
siblings can behave
for just a few more hours.
'Cause if they can,
it's ice cream time!
- Don't touch my glasses!
[overlapping arguing]
- [wails]
[grunts]
- Uh, Lily,
is everything okay?
- Isn't this cute?
Lily's calling
a sibling meeting.
- [panting]
[incoherent babbling]
- Good job, Lily.
You drew an...
upside-down tree.
- [groans]
[incoherent babbling]
- I think she's trying
to tell us something.
- Perhaps the infant
has some trapped wind.
- [grumbles]
[shrieks]
- You guys are all wrong.
She's clearly waving at us.
- I guess Lily
called this meeting
just to say hi!
Hi, Lily!
all:
Hi, Lily!
Okay, well, bye, Lily!
[dramatic chord]
- [groans]
- ♪ Checkin' the mail
♪ Skippity bop
♪ What did we get
in the latest crop ♪
♪ Ah do-do-do...
Ow, ow, ow!
Ow--whoa--
[shouting]
No more ice cream!
- [screams]
[panting]
- ♪ Maybe a card,
maybe a bill ♪
♪ Checkin' the mail
is always a thrill ♪
♪ Ba-da-da-da!
Doolity do-do-do ♪
- Lincoln,
I've got a Code Denim!
- You're stuck
in a pair of skinny jeans?
- I was trying
to update my look,
but now I can't feel my legs!
- Mopping the floor can wait.
I'm on my way!
Don't struggle, Clyde.
It'll only make it worse!
both:
[moaning]
- Hmph!
- I wanna watch
my pageant show!
- I wanna watch
my penguin show!
both:
[shouting]
- Got it.
- Gimme that--
both:
[grunting]
[car horn honks]
- [panicked babbling]
- Lynn Loud looks downfield,
but nobody's open!
She's going for
the quarterback sneak!
- [gasps]
- If all goes accordion
to plan, my family
will glove this prank!
- [shrieks]
- [shouting]
- Yeah!
[thud]
- [laughing]
- [screams]
No more ice cream!
- Hmph.
[whistles]
- [whines]
- [shrieking]
[triumphant music]
- And now,
back to Penguin Pageants!
both:
Huh?
- [whistles]
♪
- Walt, knock it off!
- [screaming]
- [groans]
Oh, no, it's a fumble!
- [gasps]
- [humming]
Well this is nice to see,
everybody getting along.
And Luan's even taking a nap.
- Yep, they've been
perfect all day.
Not a single mess or meltdown.
- That's all I needed to hear.
Kids, come down here, please.
You wanna tell them
the surprise, or should I?
- Oh, you do it.
- You guys have been
so well behaved this week,
we wanted to do--
Luan, wake up--
Something nice for you.
So everybody,
get in Vanzilla, because--
- I changed my mind,
I wanna tell them!
We're going for ice cream!
- Awesome!
- Seriously?
- Ice cream!
♪
- Ketchup,
my little tomatoes!
Time to head out.
- Come b*at the heat
at Auntie Pam's Parlor!
But make sure
you get here by : .
We're closing early this week
to give our scoopers a break.
Don't forget, : p.m.
One more time, : p.m.
: p.m.!
- [frantic babbling]
- I-I-I know, sweetie.
I'm excited for ice cream, too!
- Your estimated arrival time
at Auntie Pam's Parlor
is : p.m.
- See you soon, Lily.
- [gasps]
Cherry.
[car horns honking]
- There's never this much
traffic on this street.
- Your new estimated
arrival time is : p.m.
- No biggie, Auntie Pam's
doesn't close till !
- [panting]
- Oh, you wanna play
with Daddy's phone, Lily?
Okay, but please don't
call Aunt Ruth again.
That's two hours
I'll never get back.
- Rerouting.
Make a U-turn
onto Oakville Road.
- Huh, look at that.
Lily accidentally
found us a faster route.
[chuckles]
- Your new estimated
arrival time is : p.m.
[siren wailing]
- sh**t, what now?
[siren wailing]
- Ma'am, did you know
your registration's expired?
I'm gonna have to write
you a ticket for that.
Get comfy,
this could take awhile.
- [panting]
[dramatic music]
♪
- Ah, my bike!
Come back, precious!
- Uh, thanks, officer.
We'll take that as a warning.
Whoo-hoo!
- Your new
estimated arrival time
is : p.m.
- [exhales]
- You have arrived
at your destination.
- Uh-oh.
- Oh, honey,
please tell me you didn't
forget your wallet.
This place only takes cash!
- [growling]
- The emergency !
Lily, you've done it again!
all:
Yay, Lily!
- Hi, can I get one scoop
of vanilla ice cream, please?
- [incoherent babbling]
- [laughs]
Okay, I guess
she has other ideas.
One sundae, please.
- You ready, Lily?
Okay, guys, I'm recording.
- I can't believe this
is the last time we'll get
to introduce a little
Loud to ice cream.
[sobbing]
all:
[cheering]
[bird screeching]
- [screaming]
♪
- [whimpers]
- Oh, no, sweetie.
Don't worry,
we'll get you a new sundae.
Uh, excuse me!
- No dice, dudes.
They close at : this week.
- What?
Ha, you think they'd
advertise something like that.
- [wailing]
- Aww, poor baby.
Let's get you home.
all:
Oh, it's okay, Lily.
Aw, Lily.
- I've never seen
Lily look so sad.
- You'll get that
ice cream sundae, Lily.
Perhaps when the road
isn't so rocky.
Don't have a mint chip
on your shoulder about this--
- Luan, read the room.
- [gasps]
- It's okay, honey.
We'll be home soon.
- [groaning]
- [sniffing]
Ugh, what is that?
It smells like
a thousand angry skunks.
- [groans]
all:
[groaning]
- Somebody needs
a diaper change, stat.
- ♪ A little powder,
a little wipey ♪
♪ Now you've got
a fresh new dipey! ♪
- [squeals]
- [grunting]
- Whoops, we got a runner.
- [babbling]
- Oh, look what Lily found.
- That gives me an idea.
- One ice cream
sundae coming up.
- Don't forget the gummy bears!
- Whipped topping
in the hiz-ouse!
- And some yummy
cookie crumbles!
- [indistinct garbling]
- Thanks, Flip, but you're
not supposed to be talking
after your
wisdom teeth surgery.
- You guys,
she's about to try it!
all:
[gasping]
all:
[laughing]
- [giggling]
[giggling]
- Hmm, if I didn't know better,
I'd swear Lily
orchestrated this whole thing.
- Oh, don't be silly, honey.
She's just a baby.
[laughs]
- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with kids
♪ That's the way
it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house
04x12 & 04x13 - Present Tense/Any Given Sundae
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.
Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.