02x06 - Would You Wrather Get High Honors?

[bunniefuu]

Okay. He's on his way.


You guys wearing your "Fred" shirts?


Right here.


So, if he got the promotion
to head hall monitor,


we'll show 'em off.


If not, we keep 'em covered.


I didn't hear a word of that.


I'll just follow the girl.


-(door opens)
-Fred: Hey, guys.


Wow, I am so relieved...


...to be surrounded by friends
during a time like this.


So, I can share some big news...


about lost opportunity.


-And hope!
-Fred!


Did you get promoted or not?


No, apparently it wasn't my time.


-Sorry, bud.
-Yeah. You'll get there one day.


You should probably
just ignore what's on this shirt.


Don't worry. I'll fight on.


Oh, here's the flash drive.


All right! "Would You Wrather" time.


Hey, Wrather-heads.


Yesterday we asked,
would you rather swap faces


with your family members,


or swap bodies with your pets.


You guys chose faces,
so we taped ourselves at breakfast,


and Fred's app did the rest.


We haven't seen this,
so we're watching with you


for the first time.


Jenna, these pancakes look...


way better than they taste.


Ollie, get that cream off your face.


It's my beard. I feel like a lumberjack.


I'm working on a new song
for the Glamtronics.


It needs lyrics, but it's like...


(humming with back b*at)


Ooh, that sounds great.


Dun dun dun dun


Da-da dun dun dun dun


-Yeah, I'm liking that b*at.
-(Coop and Charlotte humming)


(humming, back b*at continues)


Bury this far,


far beneath the ground.


Coop: Run, boy.


Run like the wind.


(theme song playing)


Would you rather lose your phone


Or give up pizza for a month?


Share your diary with the world


Or have to eat it for your lunch?


Sing out of tune to your friends


Or trip and fall into your crush?


Shave your head, paint it red


Or use your dog's toothbrush?


We need a little Q and A


Come on, Wratherheads, play along


Would you rather do this?


Would you rather do this?



Would you rather do that?


Would you rather do that?


Don't matter what we do


We're doing it with you


I'd rather do that


Ask the world


Would you rather do this?


Would you rather do this?



Or would you rather just dance?


Or would you rather just dance?


No matter what we do


We're doing it with you


I'd rather do that


Ask the world!


Would you rather do that?


Whoa.


Cami, are you watching
trampoline fails again?


No, I'm doing homework.


Good girl. When you're done,


can we watch trampoline fails again?


Sure. But right now, I need to focus.


Mr. Kramsky just posted
our next visual art project.


We have to do a short documentary film.


You seem stressed.


This thing will count
for percent of our final grade.


If I get an A plus on this project,


I'll be getting an A in all of my classes.


Welcome to the club.


Really? I'd do a touchdown dance


to see anything besides
"Please see me" on your report card.


I have a sh*t for the first time


to get high honors.


That would be quite an accomplishment.


I just need to find the right subject.


Something real and exciting.


I have every toenail


I've ever clipped in a jar under my bed.


Bam! There's your movie.


Ollie, stop making this about you.


You want excitement?


Have I ever told you about the
fast-paced life of a real-estate agent?


Some people come to look at a house


just to use the bathroom.


Oh, yeah. It is bonkers!


Okay. Well, let me think about it.


You never like my ideas.


I'm just warning you now,


trying to add in a new song to
the set list could really cause friction.


What's going on?


Our acapella group is headlining
the big th anniversary party


-down at Dinky's Rink.
-They're calling it "Dink Fest."


And they really shouldn't.


Anyway, I want to see if the rest of
the group is up for doing my new song.


Just know I can be a little "eh"


when it comes to messing
with the set list.


Plus, Malcolm and Deb may be
a little cranky since they just broke up.


Drama. (laughs)


Ollie,


I think I just found the perfect subject
for my documentary.


Say no more.


I'll go get my toenails.


(bell rings)


Morning, Chief.


As you'll see in my report,


I noticed some confetti
coming out of an air duct in Sector Eight.


Thought it could be a potential --


I specifically asked you
not to give me these reports.


(laughs softly) You and the jokes.


Anyways, there was no evidence
of a prank in progress


-so I gave the all-clear.
-Actually,


this is from a class prank
perpetrated years ago.


Wow, so like, back when you had hair?


This is a choice.



Anyway, back when I was a freshman here,


some hooligans came in
and filled the entire entryway


with red and green confetti.


We still get little pieces
swirling around the ducts.


They taunt me.


What a disgrace!
How many detentions did the sickos get?


None. No one was ever caught.


Really? So, if I was able
to solve this case,


that could get me promoted
to head hall monitor, right?


I suppose so,


-but the confetti capers--
-And in doing so,


perhaps become the most
famous hall monitor


since Johnny "White Gloves" Spillman?


Who's that?


Yeah, right. Good one, Chief.


"Who's that?"


Zinger! (laughs)


For the record, I can grow hair.


Doing a movie on a band is perfect.


You got big egos
clashing over the set list,


broken hearts with Deb and Malcolm
fresh off the breakup.


-There's gonna be fireworks.
-(doorbell rings)


Charlotte: I'll get it.


Oh, hello.


I didn't see you there.


I'm Charlotte.


And I'm about to open the door
for Glamtronics' practice.


I haven't started filming yet.


(scoffs) Crank her up. That was magic.


I can't even look at you right now.


And away we go.


How good does this guy look in teal?
That's not fair.


-Please. You look great in everything.
-Aw.


-Wait. I thought you guys broke up.
-We did.


We realized that our -year friendship
was just too precious to ever mess with.


They are so brave.


(monotone) Oh, my. What will happen next?


Well, you guys know Cami.


She's the one making a movie about us.


Very cool. So, uh, where's Cooper?


Ugh. Who knows?
He's always the last to arrive.


It's safe to say
he's the bad boy of the group.


Hey!


Who wants apple slices?


(laughs)


You've got to be kidding me.


Thanks, Coop.
Let's all get our fiber on.


Someone needs to apologize to my eyes


for making me watch this.


(clattering)


Fred, let me help you with that giant box


that contains three tiny items.


That's all the evidence
from a hall monitor cold case I'm working.


The "Confetti Caper."


It's a -year-old prank,


and it's an itch I need to scratch.


As is this one.


Ah, yeah. Daddy found you.


That prank was legendary.
I remember hearing about it


over at Elk Ridge High, where I went.


(imitates bugle call)
Here come the 'horns!


That was our cheer.


Way to hijack the convo.


Sorry. How's the investigation going?


Not good.
And the security footage was useless,


'cause they put this putty on the lens.


And all the witnesses are your age,
so their memories are pretty sh*t.


Aw, thank you, Fred.


There she is.


Best Mom ever.


Oh, boy. What'd you do now?


Nothing. I was just wondering


if you wanted to practice your signature
on this random piece of paper.


Oh, sure!


Should I sign above
or below the line that says,


"You tricked your teacher into biting
a caramel-covered onion?"


Below.


That's it! In order to nab
a twisted prankster,


I need to understand how one thinks.


Ollie, do you mind
if I jump inside your brain


and take a look around?


Be my guest.


But I warn you,


whatever you find in there...


(whispers) you can never un-see.


Like the patches


On my lucky old blue jeans


So, uh, that's the song I wrote.


You think it's good enough for Dink Fest?


I felt scared, then happy.


But most of all, I felt alive.


Thank you for taking us on your journey.


You know,
I've never had patches on my jeans,


but your song made me
feel like that's okay.


(clears throat) Um...


So, Mr. Kramsky,


I know it's a work in progress, but...


what'd you think?


I felt scared.


Then bored.


But most of all,


I wanted to smash the laptop
over my head to make it stop.


I know.


So, what can I do to fix it?


To get high honors,
I really need this film to be an A.


And I really need my twin brother Crispin


to move out of my one-room apartment,
or at least buy his own toothbrush.


Okay, there must be something I can do.


Choose a better subject next time.


Documentaries are about real life.


It's not like a made-up movie
where you can create your own drama.


(cell phone jingling)


(sighs heavily) Yes, Crispin. What?


No, I did not eat
all your frozen fudgie bars.


I hate that you look like me.


He wants drama? I'll give him drama.

Coop. Gather the Glamtronics.


I got news.


Okay. We're all here. What's the news?


The news is,


T.C. Merrick, the manager
of The Spotted Hippo nightclub,


is coming to your show at Dinky's.


Sensory overload. Legs going numb.


The Hippo's the coolest venue ever.


And if T.C. likes what he sees,
he's gonna book you guys to perform.


A guy with initials


for a first name is interested in us?


We've made it.


Well, not yet.


It all depends on tomorrow night.


Everything's at stake.


-And full Charlotte in three, two...
-Group huddle.


Dink Fest is now
the opportunity of a lifetime.


We need to triple rehearsals
and be on point.


Our sound, our moves, our image.


And now I can't see colors. Move.


I'll get you some water.


Hey. You know,
Charlotte's right about image.


All great bands are made up
of defined personalities.


But, if Charlotte's the smart one,


and Malcolm's the mysterious one,


and Deb's the peppy one,
where does that leave you?


What? That's easy. I'm the--


Oh, no. What am I?


They took all the good ones.


Well, Charlotte did say
you were the group's bad boy,


but that's not you.


What? I can be a bad boy.


You saw I'm the last to arrive
at practice, right?


Carrying apple slices.


Yeah, but not on plates.


On napkins. One ply.


Yeah. I said it.


Mm, I don't know.


To be the bad boy, you need a big ego,


and an even bigger attitude.


You really think
you can pull that off, Apples?


Hey, Coop. Where's that water, bud?


Uh, right here, bud.


(clears throat)


-On the ground.
-(splatters)


Bad boy.


We'll work on it.


(opera music playing)


Hey, Ollie. Thanks for agreeing
to help with my case.


Are you painting
miniature animal figurines?


My doctor says it relaxes me.


Did you bring it?


The sour cream potato chips?


-Yeah.
-(bag crinkles)


No ridges?


You disappoint me.


So, did you get a chance to read the file?


If by read, you mean "read," I did not.


Now tell me about this prank.


Slowly.


There's not much to tell.


They filled the entire school hallway
with red and green confetti.


This confetti.


Do you have it here?


Pranksters are a funny breed.


Society will tell you they're evil.


But they're wrong.


They're artists.


Each with their own delicious style.


Do you need to sit further away
from those paints?


This was not the work of a group.


They always go store-bought.


This confetti's homemade.


Cut in one style by one twisted loner.


-Why'd they do it?
-They were sending a message.


What kind of message?


Jenna: Ollie! Bedtime. Let's go!


It seems our time is up.


Ollie, what kind of message?


That's for you to find out.


Time is running out.


Tick-tock, Fred.


-Tick tock.
-(crinkling)


Oh, and Fred.


Watch your back.


Why? Am I in danger?


No. I have, like, five ducks
drying on that table behind you.


(exhales)


After much analysis,


I have discovered that
there are elements


that go into a perfect performance.


These are all vital,
so do not edit this out.


Which brings us
to the last item on my list.


Wardrobe. (chuckles)


For our final song, "Checkmate,"


I have gone out and gotten us
the perfect outfits.


Charlotte, I think this horse head


is too heavy for Malcolm's neck.


It's called a knight.
And toughen up, Malcolm.


-Whoa!
-(thuds)


Oh! Look who finally arrived.


A rook?


You made Cooper Wrather a rook?


I'm a king, baby.


Would you stop knocking stuff
on the floor?


Maybe. Maybe not.


Chaos.


That's the game I play.


I am the band.


And also,


I hate cups.


Cami: It's enough with the cups.


Don't try to change me.


T.C. Merrick hiring us
could change everything.


Cami: So, what's up with the neck brace?


Um, I've been told not to talk about it.


Throat's been scratchy
from all the practice,


but you gotta do what you gotta do, right?


Thanks, kiddo. (scoffs)


(whining) These have seeds.


(bell rings)


[Fred: Guide me, "White Gloves."
Show me the way.


Mr. Kramsky, can I speak with you?


Ah, Dr. K always has time
for his patients.


But make it quick. I got a tuna melt
waiting for me in my car.


I saw in my file
that you were a student here


the night the Confetti Caper went down.


The Confetti Caper.


Yes, yes. I was a sophomore.


My bros and I were in the gym
training for our JV Archery Meet.


Did you say archery?


-It is too a sport!
-Sorry.


Ha ha. I'm a little defensive.


So, did you hear or see
anything unusual that night?


Son, we were playing our biggest rivals
the next day.


The only sound we heard
was our super-fly pump-up song


jamming from the speakers.


Bring it on serve it up


Get up off your booty


I'm gonna go now.


(imitates bow loading, arrow flying)


All: I've got you in a corner


You've got nowhere to run


I hope you have enjoyed it


It's been a lot of fun


But now it's checkmate


(clap)


(claps)


What a surprise.


Late, yet again.


Time means nothing to me.


I mean, I can tell time. Prefer digital,
but I can do the hard way, too.


(whispers): Hey.


Charlotte's gonna end the show
with her song.


Would a bad boy let that happen?


Cooper, get over here
and put on your costume.


Uh, no can do, Your Highness.


Excuse me?


You've been bossing everyone around.


Poor Malcolm, here,
is afraid to even look you in the eye.


-Tell him that's not true, Malcolm.
-Not true!


I'm just trying to get us a gig
at The Spotted Hippo.


And we will.


If we swap out "Checkmate"
for my new song.


(scoffs) Are you serious?


"Checkmate" has always
been the group's closer.


High honors, here I come.


Yeah, well,
if you take the "C" off of closer,


you end up with "loser."


That's it. You and me.


Right now.


You couldn't take me when you were five,


and you can't take me now.


I did three push-ups this morning.


Be afraid. Be very afraid!


-(both clapping)
-Guys, no!


Okay, let's not go crazy, here.


(both grunting)


-(kicks)
-Ow!


Okay, you know what?


You have both turned into monsters.


This is so not fun anymore. I quit.


Malcolm?


If I could nod my head, I would.


-Mm-hmm.
-Let's go.


Wait! Guys!


Deb! Malcolm!


(door closes)


And they're gone. Nice going, Cooper.


The Glamtronics are dead.


Nice going, Cooper.


The Glamtronics are dead.


That vid is lit!


A brother and sister
locked in a power struggle.


Now it's all about following the wreckage.


Well, keep up the drama, and the K-dog
will give this movie five ruffs!


That's an A plus.


Sounds good.


Now, if you'll excuse me,


I'm having my own power struggle
with a tuna melt I ate earlier.


And I am not winning.


(phone dings)


Hey, Wratherheads. I need your help.


So, for the first time in my life,


I have the chance to
make high honors, but...


to do it,
I need to turn in a film project


that caused my brother and sister's
singing group to break up.


So, if you were me,


would you rather keep the conflict going
and get an A,


or fix the band,


and lose out on high honors.


-(dings)
-Thanks, Wratherheads.


Popcorn's done!


Ooh! Fred, you scared me.


Sorry. I got a big break in my case.


Oh, good for you.


-But we're just--
-You know, Jenna. I got to thinking.


Why red and green confetti?


Then it hit me.


What if it stood
for another school's colors?


Say, perhaps, Elk Ridge High?


You went there, right?


Well, a lot of people went there.


Then I learned from Kramsky


there was a big archery match
that weekend.


Isn't that what you did?


Well, a lot of people did archery.


And when I examined the evidence,


I found that the putty
used to block the camera


was actually chewed gum.


-Zesty watermelon.
-I don't like what you're insinuating!


I'm just saying that with DNA science
being what it is,


all you need to ID a perp
is a piece of evidence,


and an uncle who works at the lab.


-Everything okay?
-Uh...


Fred was just updating me on his case.


Well, I hope you find the lowlife.


Scares me that scum like that
still walks the street.


This is a choice.


Fred, what if this perp
is very, very sorry


for the damage she caused
in a stupid attempt


to rattle her archery opponents?


That's fine, but rules are rules.


Even if she's led a good life since,

and would be incredibly embarrassed


if her children or Principal boyfriend
ever found out?


Jenna, solving this case
would get me my promotion.


(sighs)


So it's a shame the key piece
of evidence was lost.


(sighs)


Fred, you are a good kid.


And one heck of a hall monitor.


Thank you.


We solved it, Johnny "White Gloves."


You can soar with the angels now.


Look, everyone's here.


Cami, I really can't be in a room
with that person right now.


(snootily) Oh, and I'm the queen,
so I make all the rules.


All right, cup boy. It's go time.


-(clapping)
-(both grunting)


This was a mistake. Let's go.


Wait. No, wait!


You guys shouldn't be mad at each other.


You should be mad at me.


I needed an "A" on my film.


So, I invited T.C. Merrick,
knowing it would create drama.


Wait, you wanted us to freak out
so it would make a better movie?


I never thought it would go this far.


So, you're gonna get your A,
and we have no group.


That's... great.


I'm not finishing the film.
I don't want to get an A that way.


I made you guys act terrible
towards each other.


I have been a real jerk lately.
I'm sorry, guys.


Me, too. I haven't been the easiest person
to be around lately.


No, it was my fault.


I just want to make things right.


Which is why...


I canceled T.C. Merrick.


Now you guys can go perform
at Dink Fest and just have fun.


What do you guys think?


All: Ooh, ooh


Ooh, ooh


- Trapped in the corner
- Ooh, ooh


Can only move from side to side


The Queen is coming towards me


I got no place to hide


Sorry that the end is near


It's been a lovely day


But now that you're surrounded


There's one last thing to say
And that's


All: Checkmate


(cheering and clapping)


(laughs) You guys sounded awesome!


Thanks. That was seriously fun.


I'm just glad T.C. Merrick wasn't here.


We could just relax and be ourselves.


Actually, he is here.


I never canceled.


He saw the whole thing, and loved it.


Do you guys want to meet him?


Okay. Having trouble seeing shapes.


Uh, I think what Charlotte's saying is,
"Yes, please."


Are you sure this is cool, Fred?
It's not an open mic.


I don't know about cool, little man.


I just know my story needs to be told.


-(Fred plays blues rhythm)
-What's going on over there?


I got the hallway blues


He's got the hallway blues


I got the hallway blues


He's got the hallway blues


I'm running down the clues
I'm wearing out my shoes


I got the hallway blues


Go, Ollie, go!


(harmonica plays)


Coop: I hate cups.