01x17 - Popcorn

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ Face-to-face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hopin' to find ♪

♪ We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Makin' a go ♪

♪ Makin' it grow ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

Okay, the meeting

of the Committee
To Send The School Orchestra

To Washington, D.C.
will come to order.

I second that.

Freddy, you don't have to
second that.

It was just an announcement.

Oh, get off his back, Rick.
He can't help it

if he's a wimp face.
Right, Freddy?

Right.

Derek, stop being mean
to Freddy.

Can we please
get on with the meeting?

I second that.

Lisa will now give her report

on how popcorn sales
are going.

And no seconding.

♪ Orchestra, orchestra ♪

♪ We are the best ♪

♪ There's no one better ♪

♪ In the east or the west ♪

♪ Give me an "O"
Give me an "R" ♪

♪ Give me a "C" ♪

Give me a break.

Well, in order to earn our trip
to Washington, D.C.,

members of our orchestra

must sell 2,500 bags of popcorn
at one dollar apiece.

As of last weekend,
we'd sold almost 1,500 bags,

which means
we only have to sell

a thousand bags this week.

[ALL CHEERING]
All right. Yeah.

And how many have we sold?

Four.

[ALL GROANING]

We're dead.

That's terrible.

Derek, weren't you
supposed to sell popcorn

at the basketball game?

Oh. Yeah,
I guess I forgot.

How could you forget?

I got
better things on my mind

than selling popcorn.

I'm in
the middle of puberty.

Look, if you guys
are gonna talk smut,

I'm leaving.

Can we please
stay on the subject?

I second that.

Shut up, Freddy.

Now listen, guys.

We're not gonna be able
to go to Washington

unless we sell 1,000
bags of popcorn this weekend.

But we've just got to go
to Washington.

Our orchestra has been honored
by this invitation.

If we don't go,
I'll just swell up and die.

Don't get melodramatic, Lisa.

Oh, okay. But don't you guys
wanna tell your kids someday

how you played Beethoven
at the Kennedy Center?

I'm not gonna have
any kids.

That's the first good news
I've heard all day.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hi, kids.

RICKY: Hi, Kate.

Good evening,
Miss Summers.

Good evening.

Allow me to say
that you look

exceptionally beautiful
this evening.

Thank you, Derek.

You're the epitome
of grace, style

and low-cut sophistication.

That's enough, Derek.

I'm sorry.
It's just this darn puberty.

No, it's your darn
lack of brain, Derek.

Kate, you remember
Lisa and Freddy?

I'm Freddy.

Hi, Freddy.
Hi.

Hi, Lisa.

Kate, why are you
so dressed up?

Oh, Edward and I are going to
a fundraising dinner

at the county art museum.

Oh, yeah, that's the dinner

that costs a thousand dollars
a plate.

Hey.

Why don't we sell our popcorn
for a thousand dollars a bag?

That way,
we only have to sell one.

I know, I know.

"Shut up, Freddy."

Ricky, would you please
tell your father that I'm here?

Hey, Dad, Kate's here!

I could've done that.

So, are there gonna be

lots of famous people
there tonight?

Mm-hmm.
Senators, ambassadors.

Hi, g*ng.

Walruses.

Edward, how come
you're dressed up as a walrus?

Kate, I think

the pertinent question
at this particular time

is how come you're not
dressed up as a walrus?

Kate, tonight's
the masquerade ball

for the Protection
of Endangered Species.

No, it's not.

It's the formal dinner
at the county art museum.

It is the fifth,
isn't it?

Yeah, the fifth of February.

The formal dinner for the museum
is the fifth of March.

Well, can't I go
like this?

Of course not, Kate.
You'd look silly.

Come on, let's go upstairs.
Maybe I can find you something

to make you look more like
an endangered species.

You know, the only reason
I joined this wimpy orchestra

is to take the trip
to Washington.

Hey, maybe I'll just join
the debate team.

They're going to Boston.

I guess it is true.

The first ones
to desert the sinking ship

are the rats.

Come on, g*ng.
Never say die.

Where there's life,
there's hope.

Where there's a will,
there's a way.

Lisa, don't you ever
get depressed?

Yeah. Like right now.

I've never been so miserable.

Lisa, I think it's time
to check you into

the Rubber Ramada.

Hey, I got an idea.

No. No, never mind.

Oh, come on, Rick.
What were you gonna say?

I saw those wheels turning.

Well, I was just thinking
that maybe...

I could get my dad to buy
the rest of the popcorn.

But that's not a good idea.

Not a good idea?

Au contraire, buddy.

That's a great idea.

Think so?

Rick, will your dad
really help us out?

Well, if he can spend
a thousand dollars for a dinner,

he can certainly give

a thousand dollars
to help us out.

Absolutely.

And if it also happens to
make you a hero along the way,

that's not your fault, is it?

Lisa... put me down
f-f-for a thousand bags.

[CHEERING]

♪ Ricky, Ricky,
He's the one ♪

♪ He's gonna get us
to Washington ♪

Oh, go on.

No, I meant go on.

ALL: ♪ Ricky, Ricky,
He's the one ♪

♪ He's gonna get us
To Washington ♪

♪ Ricky, Ricky, he's the one ♪

♪ He's gonna get us
To Washington ♪

Wow, I can't wait
to get on that plane.

Plane?

Oh, I-I-- I'd better
get some Dramamine.

Rick, you're a great man.

For once, he's right.

Dad, do you have a second?

Always have time for you, son.
What's up?

Well, it's about
the popcorn drive.

[QUACKING]

Excuse me a minute, son.

Hello.

[SIGHS]

Leonard, you tell that
union negotiator

that we already have
a contract,

and I expect him to live up
to his end of the agreement.

Okay.

Yeah, if you need me,
I'll be right here by the duck.

Okay, bye-bye.

Now, son,
how's the popcorn drive going?

Pretty good, Dad. I think
we almost made our total.

Well, congratulations.
You see there.

Now, I told you
if you work hard

and put a lot of effort into it,
you kids could do it.

Well, actually,
it wasn't all that hard.

Dad, about the popcorn...

Oh, I remember.

I promised to buy ten bags.
I didn't even pay you yet.

You must think
I'm a skinflint, huh?

No. No, no, no, no, no.

Actually, I think

you're the most generous man
who ever walked this earth.

How many more bags
do you want me to buy?

I was that obvious?
Mm-hmm.

How many more?
Two? Three? Five?

Well, uh, not quite.

Well, how many?
10? 15?

How about a thousand?

Rick, this room

looks like it was decorated
by Orville Redenbacher.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

That's a good one.
You're so funny.

Rick.
I know.

I know, I know, I know.

I should've
talked to you first.

But, hey, if you're
willing to spend

a thousand dollars
for dinner,

you could certainly spend
a thousand dollars on me,

your own son.

Well, son,
how shall I put this?

You're wrong.

But, Dad,
this is a worthy cause.

You'd be sending me
to Washington, D.C.,

where I can play my bassoon
in front of the very people

who mold and shape
this great land of ours.

Okay,
let me try another one.

If you--
Rick.

I'm not buying this.

Or this.

But, Dad,
you've got to.

I told all the kids
that we were going.

They're counting on me
to get 'em there.

I promised them.

That's the real point here,
isn't it, Rick?

You wanna be Mr. Popular.

You wanna be the one
to get 'em to Washington.

That's not totally...

exactly...

true.

Mostly.

Rick, I can't believe this.

You wanted to go
to public school

to be a regular guy.

And now here you are
trying to buy your friends.

I'm not trying to buy
my friends.

I'm just sort of leasing 'em
for a while.

Son, that's a cop-out.

No, it isn't.

You're the one
that's copping out.

You know what?
You're a cheapskate.

Son, you let me know

if you'd like to have
a civilized conversation.

Dad.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean it.

I know.

I just don't know
what I'm gonna do.

Well, you've
committed to selling

a thousand bags
of popcorn.

So, I'll tell you what--

first thing tomorrow morning,
we'll go down to the mall,

and you'll sell
a thousand bags.

In one day?

That's impossible.

Well, you never know
until you try.

But I'll tell you
this much.

If you work hard and earn
that thousand dollars,

you're gonna feel

a whole lot better
about yourself.

Okay, Dad.
I'll give it a try.

But if I go through
all that hard work

and don't feel any better
about myself...

your credibility's sh*t.

[BELL DINGS]

MAN OVER P.A.: Good morning

and welcome to
the Shallow Springs Mall.

And good news.

There's a sale
at Sidney's For Wide Feet.

Okay, Rick.

Now... you've got
exactly eight hours

to sell a thousand bags.

Dad, it just can't be done.

I have to sell
120 bags an hour.

That's two bags every minute,
one bag every 30 seconds.

And just in the time it took me
to tell you about all this,

I'm already down a bag.

Come on, son,
there's nothing to it.

Salesmanship is just
a matter of technique.

Watch this.

Excuse me, ma'am,
that's a lovely blouse.

Well, thank you.

I have the privilege

of selling some of this
tasty popcorn here

so that kids like my son

can accompany their orchestra
to Washington D.C.

It's only a dollar a bag.
Would you be interested?

Yes, I would.

You would? Terrific.

I'll take two bags.

Two.

Thank you.

Thank you.

See how it's done?

That was great, Dad.

But I'm not quite sure
I got it.

Mind showing me that technique
a few hundred more times?

Rick, you're the one
supposed to be doing this.

Okay, I'll stick around
for a little while

and do some selling.
I want you to be selling, too.

I'll try, Dad,

but I'll never, ever
be any good at this.

Excuse me.
Are you selling popcorn?

Yeah.

Well,
I'll take three bags.

Three?

No, on second thought,
make that five bags.

Five?

Thank you.

No sweat.

We'll be out of here by 10:30.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

So you see, sir,
if you buy a bag of popcorn,

you'll really be
helping these kids out.

Well, since
it's for a worthy cause,

I guess I'll take a bag.

Well, terrific.

Uh, no,
not that bag.

I'll take one
from the bottom of the box.

They're all just the same.

It's fresher.

Mm. Fresher.

Well, the customer's
always right.

Always.

So I really appreciate you

helping out our orchestra
like this.

Oh, that's okay.
I have a son about your age.

You have a son my age?
Yes.

You couldn't possibly
be old enough

to have a son my age.

Maybe I'll take two bags.

Uh, that is such
a beautiful outfit.

You wear it so well.

Were you ever a model?

Oh, don't be silly.

Come to think about of it,
my husband loves popcorn.

I'll take three bags.

What a lucky man
your husband must be

to have such a beautiful,
elegant,

intelligent woman like yourself
by his side.

Not every man
is so privileged that--

Can it, kid.
Three's my limit.

Okay, there you are.
That'll be one dollar.

Well, what do you take,

Visa, MasterCharge,
American Express?

No, we don't take
credit cards.

What? Well, thanks a lot
for wasting my time.

Stale.

[BELL DINGS]

MAN OVER P.A.:
Attention, shoppers.

At Bikini World,
all bikinis are half off.

Excuse me, sir.

Would you like to buy
some popcorn?

Perhaps you'd like to try some?

Well, what do you think?

Let me try another one.

Get out of here.

[BELL DINGS]

MAN OVER P.A.:
The Shallow Springs Mall

will be closing
in five minutes.

Dad, we're not gonna
make it in time.

I know.

All day long,
you've been encouraging me.

You said we could make it.

You said that we'd sell
every single bag.

I lied, okay?

Well, I'm not giving up.

Everybody, listen.
Everybody, listen to me, please.

A few of you have
supported us here today,

and I appreciate it.

But the rest of you haven't.

You've just been
walking by us all day,

turning your backs on us,
and by doing so,

you've also been
turning your backs on

the youth of America.

This may look to you

just like another pile
of popcorn,

but to me, it's pieces of
the American dream.

[HUMMING "THE BATTLE HYMN
OF THE REPUBLIC"]

By buying this popcorn,

you will have
the rare opportunity

to send some
young great people

from our great town
of Shallow Springs

to Washington, D.C...

[SHOPPERS HUMMING]

where they can learn firsthand
how democracy works.

For only a dollar,

you and you and you
and you and you--

you can all make an investment
in America's future.

America,
the cradle of democracy,

where Lincoln, Washington,
and Jefferson were born.

Where anybody can get real old
and still be elected president.

So if you want America

to remain the land of the free
and the home of the brave,

I hope you'll
support us here today.

Long may our flag wave!

[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]

Ha ha ha ha.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you,
thank you. Thank you.

Now, who wants to buy
some popcorn?

[BELL DINGS]

MAN OVER P.A.:
Shallow Springs Mall

is now closed.

Thank you for your patronage.

Oh, Kate,
I feel so bad for Rick.

He worked so hard
to sell that popcorn.

How's he taking it?

Pretty rough.

He went straight upstairs
when we got home.

Wouldn't even watch
Yogi Bear with me.

It was his favorite one, too,
where Ranger Smith

gets his head
caught in a pic-a-nic basket

and yells at Boo Boo.

Well, so how are you
gonna handle it?

What are you gonna do?

It's a dilemma, Kate.

My heart tells me

I should just go up there
and buy those last 200 bags

so those kids
can go to Washington.

Are you really
gonna do that?

No.

Then Ricky
wouldn't learn his lesson.

You're right.

And I'm the one who told him
that if you work hard,

you'll get this
great feeling of accomplishment.

Yeah, and now he feels

a lot worse than he did
in the first place.

I'm just agreeing with you.

Kate, he's got to learn

that he can't depend on me
and my wallet

to bail him out
every time he gets in trouble.

You're right.

Oh, boy, I hate to see
that hurt look in his eyes.

So I'll just have to
march up there

and look him
straight in the chin,

tell him that's the way
it has to be.

Well...

good luck.

Thanks.
Yeah.

Hmm.

I did it, Dad. I sold
the rest of the popcorn.

You did? But how?

I thought
you were upstairs.

No. I went out,
and I sold the popcorn

from door to door
to door to door.

Sold most of 'em that way.

Great. How'd you sell
the rest of them?

Derek's father bought 'em.

He did?

Yeah, I just went
and knocked on a door

at the Shangri-la Motel,
and Derek's father answered.

He seemed real nervous.

He bought my last 88 bags.

I wonder why?

Well, when I see him,
you can bet I'll ask him.

You know, Dad,
I'm real exhausted,

but I feel like I really
accomplished something.

Good for you, son.

Thanks for
believing in me, Dad.

You know what?

What?

It's time
you hit the sack.

Okay.
Okay.

So, how was Yogi Bear?

[LIKE YOGI] Hey, hey,

still smarter than
the aver-age bear.

Dad, I wanna tell something
I've never told you before.

What's that?

[LIKE YOGI] You're
smarter than the aver-age dad.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪