01x20 - The Empire Strikes Out

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ Face-to-face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hopin' to find ♪

♪ We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Makin' a go ♪

♪ Makin' it grow ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

And so, Mr. Charles,

I urge you to continue to push
Eddie Toys' latest

in its line of
bathroom novelties--

the Mount Saint Helens
Toothpaste Dispenser.

I realize that the public

may be reluctant
to accept black toothpaste...

however,
I'd like to plant a kiss

on those beautiful lips.

That doesn't make sense.

Hah. That does.

Mm.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

[TOOT TOOT]

Ahh.

Rick, how'd you get him
to ride the train?

Oh, I just promised him
a lollipop.

Ha ha ha ha.

Did you two
have a good time fishing?

Oh, yeah. It was great.
Wasn't it, Grandfather?

Sheer ecstasy.

Ah.

Well, at least
you're the only one

who caught something.

♪ Ta-dum ♪

It was an epic struggle.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Boy, that sky
sure looks mean.

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

[CHIMING CONTINUES]

[♪♪♪]

Hi, Dex.
This a business call,

or you just dropping by
to say hello?

Please.
I would never "drop by."

Dropping by
is for brush salesmen.

Your father called
and said it was imperative

we meet
to discuss your finances.

Ahem.

He did, huh?

And what's so imperative
about my finances?

Edward, you are always

moaning and mewling
about the fact that

we don't have
father-and-son chats.

I thought this would be
a perfect occasion

to correct that.

That's nice.

I'd love to have
a warm, emotional father, son,

and accountant chat.

That's an improvement

over the normal
father-son referee chats.

Let's go into
the library.

Richard,
you may come, too,

only please
put down that fish.

Dexter, would you like to

come fishing with me
sometime?

I'm afraid that's impossible.
I'm allergic to recreation.

Edward, if you'll go on in,

I'll be with you
in just a moment.

I have a little business to...

Miss Summers,

I've been meaning
to tell you for some time

how impressed I am
with your work.

Oh. Well,
that's very nice,

but have you ever
seen my work?

I see the results.

When you came here,
Edward, this house,

and his business
were a total shambles.

Now, thanks to you,

only Edward
remains a total shambles.

Oh, I wouldn't say that
Edward is a shambles.

In fact, I think that--

I have a number of companies

which form part of what is

quite justifiably called
my empire.

I spend a lot of time
trying to find competent people

to conduct
this business of mine,

and in you,
I see executive timber.

Me?

Timber?

Yes, I'm thinking particularly
of a company,

uh, McIntire and McIntire,

devoted to the manufacture

of insulation
for electric wiring.

Red, yellow, and green.

Blue?

No, we have
discontinued blue.

But that reveals
the inquisitive spirit

that is needed
for this position.

I've decided
that we will start with

the title of vice president.

I can't believe this.

I mean, I didn't even think
you knew I was alive.

I mean, I was even afraid
to speak to you.

And all this time,

you were thinking
I was doing such a great job.

Miss Summers,
I think these sentiments

belong in
a personal diary.

You're right.
You're right.

Uh, is Mclntire and Mclntire
in New York, New York?

No, in San Jose.

California?

Yes, I'm glad
you know the way to San Jose.

Uh...

Uh, this is so sudden.

I'd-I'd have to move away
from Edward.

I don't think
I could do that.

Oh, but it's-it's-
it's a wonderful opportunity.

Could I think about it?

Of course. I advise you
to ponder it deeply.

I shall be here
for another 20 minutes.

Dex, this is my toy company's
biggest seller.

We call it
Tommy Therapist.

Here, Rick,
you want to demonstrate?

Sure.

You know, Tommy,
you've really helped me.

I feel good about myself.

I don't feel
depressed anymore.

I've never been happier
in my whole life.

Uh-huh.

Sounds like
you could use a lobotomy.

That's very clever.
May I try it?

Sure.

Tommy, last night, I had an urge
to glue chicken feathers

all over my body

and then leap off the top of
the Empire State Building.

Do you think I need help?

GRANDFATHER: Affirmative.

Edward, I have asked
Mr. Stuffins

to review your recent
financial position.

I think we should all
listen to his conclusions.

Well, I've examined
your statements

for the past three years,
Mr. Stratton,

and I've noticed that
your property and cash assets

have remained at
approximately the same level.

That's great, Dad.

It's a disgrace.

Why?
What's wrong with it?

He didn't lose any.

With inflation,
if you stay the same, you lose.

Beautifully put, sir.

Thank you.

Now, I do have a solution
to the problem.

John Williamson
is a business associate of mine,

uh, with an empire
somewhat like my own.

Few million dollars less,
I think.

But he has a daughter
of marriageable age.

Now, I thought if we could merge
these two family empires...

What-What are you
talking about?

He's trying to
fix you up, Dad.

Is this lady good-looking?
Is she a fox?

I have no idea if she's a fox.

I do know she has a pair of
the biggest coal mines

in the country.

We would, of course,

go through the customary
premarital mating rituals

before we booked the church.

I can recommend
a very reasonable caterer.

Hold the caterer, Dexter.

I'm about to be
very angry, Rick.

Maybe you should leave.

Sit down, Richard.

I want Richard to hear this.
It affects his future.

Uh, maybe
I should leave now.

Sit down, Dexter.

I want you to hear this.

Rick, would you
excuse us please?

Sit down, Richard.

I really shouldn't be in
the middle of all this.

Sit down, Dexter.

Look, why don't we
both leave?

That's an excellent idea.

Sit down.
Sit down.

Dexter, I am
personally offended

at the medieval arrangement

that my father
is proposing here.

You see, I use my money
to make me and others happy.

I have no interest

in becoming
the richest man in the world.

It's not your fault, sir.

[BEEPING]

Ah, well,
I really must fly.

I'm having dinner
at Elizabeth Taylor's.

If I don't get there soon,
all the food will be gone.

Father, I have
the best relationship with Kate

I've ever had with a woman,

and nothing you can say or do
is gonna mess that up.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

Excuse me. Edward,
I have to talk to you.

[QUACKING]

Hello?

Yeah, yeah, I'll get him.

Grandfather,
there's a Roger Dunsmore

on the line for you.

Yes, Dunsmore, what is it?

Edward, your father

has offered me a job
as vice president

of one of his companies
in California.

California?
Since you live in New York,

that's gonna be
a heck of a commute.

A job in California?
Yeah.

Well, that's interesting.

The plot sickens.

Dunsmore, listen to me,

I want that merger completed

the minute
I hang up this duck.

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

Father, Kate tells me

you've just
offered her a job.

It is time I left you.

Sit down, Father.

Well, all right, stand then.

But this time, Father,
you have really gone too far.

Edward,
why are you so upset?

Kate, my father wants me
to marry somebody rich

so that we can expand
the family fortune.

That's the reason
he offered you

that job in California,
to get you away from me.

Is that true,
Mr. Stratton?

I would not have
offered you the job

if I had not thought
you were qualified.

Then offering me the job

had nothing to do with
my relationship with Edward?

You may regard it
as a happy coincidence.

I really fell for it,
didn't I?

Me, executive timber.
Well, that's a laugh.

Well, I suppose
offering me a job

is far more civilized

than riding me
out of town on a rail.

Miss Summers.

No, hey, listen.

You want me
out of the picture?

Fine. I'm gone.

Goodbye, Ricky.

Kate.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Goodbye, Edward.

Well, thank you, Father.

You've just driven off
the woman I love. Kate.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

EDWARD: Kate,
are you all right?

I-I'm fine.

All right, just whatever you do,
don't try to...

[CRASHING]

To move.

I-I'm okay.

RICKY:
Dad, what's going on here?

Ah, Rick, the storm
has knocked out the electricity.

Just stand still, son,
and don't try to...

[CRASHING]

To move.

RICKY: I'm okay.
I just hit something.

I don't know
what it was, though.

GRANDFATHER: It was me.

EDWARD: Son, you stay in here
with your Grandfather.

I want to talk to Kate alone.

Kate?

Edward, don't try to...

[CRASHING]

To move.

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

I'm sorry, Phil.

At least you're
dressed for this.

Kate, honey,
don't just run away.

We have to talk about this.

Edward, how could your father
do this to me?

I was the one that was always
defending him to you.

Kate, look, what happened
is not your problem.

It's his problem.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Your father doesn't think that
I'm good enough for you.

Well, maybe he's right.

It doesn't matter
what he thinks.

What matters
is what we think.

Kate, I love you.

Well, I love you, too.

But maybe it's better
for all concerned

if I just bow out.

It's not better for me...

and I'm the one
concerned here.

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

Since I'm leaving...

Kate, please.

Your shoes will be ready
on Thursday.

Those cordovan loafers
with the funny-looking tassels.

Kate, I've gotta tell you,
I think you're being...

I didn't know
you thought my tassels

were funny-looking.

I'll never
wear 'em again.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

I'm leaving it lit.

Kate, please don't leave.

I'm just going where your father
thinks I belong--

on the other side
of the tracks.

Father!

Yes?

Don't do that.

Dad, can I come in,

or is there gonna be
more yelling and junk?

Uh, son, I think
you should go upstairs,

put on your PJs,
and hit the sack, huh?

But, Dad,
it's only seven o'clock.

And you're still up?

Got you.

Edward, I sense that
you are about to have

one of your
patented tantrums.

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

No.

Not this time.

Father, the first woman
I've really cared about

in 13 years

just walked out that door.

Now, I intend to do
everything in my power

to get her back,

but none of this
should ever have happened.

The same old story,
isn't it?

You interfere in my life

with absolutely no concern
over my feelings.

Well, you and I

have just come to
the end of the line.

Father,

you are no longer welcome
in this house.

May I say goodnight
to my grandson?

You have five minutes.

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

Richard...

I'm afraid I find myself
in your father's dog house.

He has instructed me

not to darken his door
ever again.

Yeah, well, some things
really drive my dad

up the wall.

Like if you use
his after-shave,

leave the screen door open,

drive off the woman he loves.

I see your sympathies
are with him.

You bet your bow tie.

It doesn't seem fair
you expecting my dad

to marry someone
just 'cause she's rich.

Richard...

I know, I know.

You're gonna tell me
what you always tell me.

"The world isn't fair."

I was going to say that

the more you own of the world,
the fairer it gets.

When you grow older,
you'll understand that.

Now, that burns my butt.

Everyone's always telling me,

"Ah, when you're older,
you'll understand."

By the time I get old enough
to understand,

I won't care anymore.

Richard, if your father
had taken my advice,

he would've
profited greatly financially.

We have enough money,
Grandfather.

He has poisoned you.

I just want to make
my dad happy,

and Kate makes him happy.

He loves her.

Love. Love.

It is an illusion

foisted upon society
by impoverished poets.

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

Where did you get that?

My dad gave it to me.

I wanted to have a picture
of my Grandma Abigail.

Grandmother Abigail.

I used to look at this picture,

figured that you and Grandmother
loved each other,

but I guess that was

just another one of
your business deals.

I must admit
that at the start,

it was a transaction.

Her parents owned
Northwestern Ocean Lines,

and it seemed to fit perfectly

into the Stratton portfolio.

Let me ask you this.

Did she love you?

She, uh, professed so.

Did you love her?

Yes.

Grandfather,
you miss her, don't you?

[SIGHS]

Very much.

Then why can't you understand

that if my dad
couldn't see Kate anymore,

he'd miss her, too?

Well, what's done is done.

Your father doesn't want to have
anything more to do with me.

Yeah, but if you
apologized to him...

Apologize?

If you knew me,
you'd know I never apologize.

I love you, Grandfather,
but I've gotta tell you,

I think you're wrong
on this one.

Time's up.

Goodbye, Father.

Edward, uh,
there is something

I wish to say to you.

Yes?

I think perhaps
I may have been overzealous

in my concern
for your welfare.

Yes.

And perhaps I was wrong
to give opinions,

admirable though they were.

Are you trying to say
you're sorry?

I think,
perhaps unconsciously,

I may not have realized
adequately

the full consequences--

Father, why don't you
just say, "I'm sorry"?

I can't. I'm sorry.

Grandfather, wait.
Please wait.

Dad, that's pretty close
to an apology.

I mean,
it's in the ballpark.

Son, it's a case of
too little, too late.

Kate is already gone.

Since I do have
a nugget of responsibility

for her going,

I will talk to her,
and she will come back to you.

All right.

I'll admit my first instinct
was to run away,

but I've got something
to say to you, Mr. Stratton.

I may not have
the right background

or enough money
to satisfy your requirements,

but I'm a very wonderful person.

You may think because
you're successful in business

that you have the right
to tell everyone what to do.

Well, you don't.

There are other things

more important in life
than money.

Like having someone
who really cares about you

and who's there
when you really need them.

Edward is far more capable
than you give him credit for.

Why, he's bright and sensitive

and really concerned
about people,

and he's certainly old enough
to decide what woman he wants.

And I'm proud of the fact
that he's chosen me.

And I'm not gonna let you
or anyone else

ruin what we have together.

I love this man.

You see, Edward?

I told you
I'd take care of this.

That was--
I'm proud of you.

That was great, Kate.

Nice going.

Oh, honey,
you're all cold and wet.

Let's go and get you
some warm soup, huh?

How about a hot bath?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, wait a minute.
I gotta blow out this candle.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[KATE CHUCKLES]

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons togeth-- ♪