02x05 - Road Pirates

[bunniefuu]

Now if y'all are wonderin'
why that sheriff's car

is cuddlin' up to General Lee

instead of chasin' him.

Remember this is Hazzard County.

And when things are
quiet, some of the chasers

and the chasees
are downright friendly.

'Yee-haw!'

And this is reserve deputy
cousin, Cletus Hogg..

Called to active duty
when Doc Petticord decided

to separate Enos
from his appendix.

Cletus! That was fantastic!

You b*at out the
General Lee by feet.

Hot dang!

Boy, this little gizmo
you fellas attached

to my carburetor
just beats everything.

I just hit this little
ol' switch and... zow!

I took off like a load of
double aught buckshot.

Cletus, you catch
sight of them hijackers

you been havin' trouble
with, you just give her

a sh*t of that
there nitrous oxide.

You'll be all over their backs
before they got time to spit.

But, Cletus, I want you to
promise me one thing, now.

I don't want you
usin' that nitrous oxide

if you're gonna
chase against us.

Oh, now, boy, you
know I can't promise that.

Cousin Boss and
Rosco'd just have my hide.

Somehow, I knew he
was gonna say that.

Cletus, what would
you do if I was drivin'?

Aw, sh**t, Daisy.

If you was drivin', I couldn't
get anywhere near your car.

I'd be too busy chasin'
all the fellas chasin' you.

Cletus' shyness around
women is plumb terminal.

But he's an expert on women

compared to the way
he's eat up with stupid

when he's tryin' to do his job.

Which makes him a
perfect substitute for Enos.

Now, then, accordin'
to this invoice

you, Marty Garbade
are sellin' me

J.D. Hogg, a shipment
of color TV sets

worth $ , ..

At an even ten
cents on the dollar.

That's right.

These city slickers
aren't so smart.

Sounds like a fair price to me.

Hundred thousand dollar
shipment for ten thousand dollars.

Cash on the barrelhead.

Oh, I wonder if you could make

that checkon the barrelhead.

I haven't really got
, in cash here.

Sure, you do, Boss.
It's in the safe right there.

Except what I got
here in the safe.

Thank you, Rosco,
for remindin' me.

I don't know what
I'd do without you.

Eh, if you gentlemen would
mind turnin' around, please

'and shuttin' your eyes?'

And don't you go listening

for these little dial clicks.

You can turn around now.

Hey, that's quite
a hefty sum, huh?

Uh, you know..

I ain't seen so much as
a tube on them TV sets.

Look, call the TV
company. Check it out.

There's the number,
right there on the invoice.

Well, so I will.

Uh, Rosco, give
me that telephone.

- Tri-Counties Video.
- 'Oh, hello.'

'This is J.D. Hogg
over in Hazzard County.'

I'm sorry to trouble you, but I
wondered if you might confirm

a shipment of color TV sets

for a Mr. Marty Garbade.

No trouble at all.
Mr. Garbade's shipment.

I'll have to check the
records for you, honey.

That gal up there's got
a right pretty voice, now.

Here it is, there's a $ ,

worth of merchandise
on that truck..

Headed for Mr. Garbade's
warehouse in Nashville..

By way of Hazzard County.

Yeah.

Alright.

Looks like everything's
on the up and up.

Here you are..

$ , .

Cash on the bell here.

Ain't you going to
count that money?

Why should I?

The Boss trusts
me, I trust the Boss.

And that's the way I
like to do business.

Well, I'll see you
boys in church.

- Bye-bye!
- Okay, bye.

This is the deal of the year.

Hey, Marty to Wolf Pack.
You got your ears on, boys?

'Yeah, read you by .'

That sanctimonious old
crook. He made the payoff!

Now let's see what we can
do about gettin' our hands

on the goods that
we just sold him.

'Meet you at the
regular place, boss.'

Good old smoky.

Always there..

Except when you need him.

What can I do for you, sheriff?

Keep your eyes and mouth shut
and stand right where you are.

Cops on a hijack?

You catch on quick, don't you?

Now keep that cap over
your eyes for ten minutes.

Cousin, take that truck
on down to the warehouse.

I thought this shipment
was for Boss Hogg.

Well, not anymore, it ain't.

We already got the money.

Then, why should we be wasteful?

That's right!

Boy, I tell you, Uncle Jesse..

When Cletus pushed
that nitrous oxide trigger

he took off like
a bat out of hell.

You watch your language.

More like a cuckoo, you mean.

I don't know who is stupider.

Cletus, for lettin' you two

put that injector on his car..

Or the lie you used to do it.

Now, Uncle Jesse, we
was just tryin' to give him

a hand catchin' them hijackers.

Yeah, this way, he's
really gonna have

a chance of nailin' 'em.

Don't you realize that..

Putting that nitrous oxide
injector on Cletus' car

is like giving a baby a new toy?

'He'll probably use it all up'

'going home for supper'

'or draggin' main street.'

Well, I guess we never
thought of that, Uncle Jesse.

Bo? Luke?

Alright, alright. Don't
say another word.

We'll get right down there

and pull that
injector off his car

before he gets into trouble.

You don't care nothin'
about no injector.

You just wanna get
out of doin' your work.

What, uh, did them
hijackers take from you?

Hundred thousand
dollars worth of TV sets.

Hundred thousand
dollars worth of TV sets.

Hundred thousand
dollars worth of TV sets?

- Are you sure?
- Mm-hmm.

Uh, Boss, aren't
they the ones that...

Jeez!

Just don't sit there lookin'
as stupid as you are!

Put out an all-points
bulletin on them hijackers!

Uh, yeah.
That's-that's what I'll do.

I'll just put out
an all-points bu..

Uh... you know,
it would sure help

if I knew what
these guys look like.

Well, I'm not sure
about the top dog..

..but he was drivin' a
Hazzard County sheriff's car

and he was wearing

a Hazzard County
sheriff's uniform.

Well, that's not possible.

We only got two
sheriffs hereabouts..

And Rosco here has an alibi.

Which one was that, Boss?

You were here with me
during that hijackin', numskull!

'And our deputy, Enos Strate..'

has been laid up all this time

having his appendix removed.

'And that's all the
sheriffs we got.'

With the exception
of your cousin, Cletus

who's taking over for Enos
while he's in the hospital.

Mm, with the exception
of my cousin, Cletus..

Ooh.

Ooh, great bags of turnips!

Cousin Cletus.

My own kin.

Make him my deputy
and five minutes later

he's hijacking my jee-uh..

Um, Mr. Garbade's TV sets.

Oh, Boss, you don't
really believe it was Cletus?

Would you rather I
believed it was you?

No. No.

I'll put out an
all-points bulletin

and have Cletus arrest himself.

Thanks a lot for
the ride, Daisy.

Yeah, we'll get Cletus
to give us a lift home

after we pull that
injector off his car.

Okay!

Hey, how come Boss
gets a new walkway

to the courthouse every month?

Uh, probably 'cause he
owns the concrete company.

This concrete's designed
to self-destruct in days.

Which one of them
people in that lineup..

Looks like the hijacker?

I ain't got much of a choice.

So it's gotta be him.

Cletus! The shame of it!

My own kin.

I trusted you like
the son I never had.

- But, Boss...
- Ah!

Don't you try to pull the wool

over my eyes, boy!

You know damn
well that you h*jacked

'a cargo of color TV sets'

worth a $ ,
on the state highway

exactly two hours
and minutes ago.

Cousin Boss, I was up on
Possum Hill around that time.

And I can prove it.

You knew, didn't you, boy?

You can be
court-martialed for lyin'?

Of course I do. But I ain't.

Lie number one.

You are a disgrace
to your country!

Uhh!

Now then..

Where are my TV sets?

- I don't know!
- Lie number two!

You are a disgrace
to your county too!

'Now..'

where is the money you got

for stealin' them TV sets?

- I never got a dime.
- Lie number three!

I never thought I'd
live to see the day

when a man would sink so low

as to even be a
disgrace to his own hat!

There! Boof!

Furthermore..

Don't you ever call
me cousin again!

From now on, you
and me is disrelated!

Rosco, do your duty. Arrest him.

Ain't you.. Ain't you even
gonna let me call my witnesses?

No need, Cletus.
We're right here.

That's right, Rosco.

I'm afraid you done
treed the wrong possum.

Cletus was with
us all the mornin'.

Wa-a-it a second.

If they was with him, they
must have been the two

that sneaked up behind me
and then drove off in a truck.

Ah. That sounds like
a typical Duke trick.

Rosco, slap the cuffs on
'em and arrest all three!

Now, wait a minute,
Boss. You can't be serious.

It's my own ex-kin.

You always were
a mite too friendly

with these
no-account Duke trash.

Sheriff, you haven't
even read us our rights!

Will you hush? Now just hush!

No, no. He's right! He's right.

You didn't read
'em their rights.

And I want everything
done legal-like.

You gotta read 'em their
rights before you jail 'em.

- Well, I will.
- 'Well, haven't you got 'em?'

- No, I did have 'em.
- Don't you know 'em?

Well, I know part of
'em. I know the first part...

What-hey-hey-hey!

Now, look, what you
done! They're gettin' away!

- Well, you...
- Oh!

Get out, will you?

Hey, fellas, wait a minute! I'm
in enough trouble already, stop.

'Don't go down there,
you dumb dipstick!'

Hold on there. Hold on!

- Let's go.
- 'Stop! Wait a minute!'

Get out of the
way, out of the way.

It's a matter of life or money!

- My money!
- My life!

Come on! Come on!

Aah!

Thank you, sir,
for a perfect day.

You know, the Boss'
paving company mixes

the only cement that's
thin enough to fish in.

- Come on!
- No, wait-wait, fellas.

- Cletus?
- Oh, he's out.

I sure hope he's easier to
carry than he was to drag.

'Alright, you-you,
I see ya. Freeze!'

'Freeze! Now I'm
not kidding ya.'

Rosco..

If you don't catch
them Duke boys...

Don't worry, Boss. I'll get 'em.

They messed up this
time. I'm serious this time.

You hear me now? You.. Aah!

Uh!

Aah!

We're pulling away from 'em.

Well, maybe weare, but I ain't.

Quit... Cletus.

What'd you go and do
that for? Give me the key.

Because if I don't
turn myself in

Ex-Cousin Boss will even have

mama drummed
clean out of the family.

Well, how do you
figure to turn yourself in

without turning us in too?

Which we ain't
about to let you do.

Well, it's liable to be
hard like trying to milk

a cow with a
pair of cold pliers.

Oh, good, good. I got 'em.

I got 'em! This
time, I really got 'em!

Look, I got an
idea, let's solve this

the old American way, by voting.

- Okay.
- Alright.

All in favor of
surrendering say "yep".

- Yep!
- Alright.

All opposed to
surrendering say no.

- No!
- No!

No's got it. We win, you
lose. Give him the key.

- Come on.
- Oh, alright.

Only because I was outvoted.

- Fair and square.
- Oh, let's go, cousin.

I swear Cletus is
the only man I know

who'd be wrong
if he voted maybe.

- Bo, hit that nitrous oxide.
- Yeah. Good idea.

Ya-hoo!

That was pretty
fancy flying, Bo!

But these two cars are
same as two grits in a gizzard.

Stand back and watch a pro fly.

I'm coming.

O-o-o-h!

I'd like to see you do that one.

I ain't gonna do
it again, either.

Alright, if you'll just
hang on a minute..

I'll get you jailbirds loose.

Ah, I wish you wouldn't
talk like that, Uncle Jesse.

It's liable to hurt my
image with Daisy.

I wouldn't worry about
my image with Daisy

if I was you.

You're just a typical

Hazzard County jailbird..

Arrested for a..

Uh, a crime you didn't commit.

Well, he ain't the only one.

Don't remind me.

You two jackasses
are worse than he is.

Do you realize that..

Rosco could give
you ten years for taking

an official car?

And, uh, another ten years

for helping Cletus
here... escape.

But I didn't escape.

You could say I was sort of..

Kidnapped.

Oh, great. That way all
Rosco can give us is life.

Yeah, unless we get
to them hijackers first.

Oh, but that ain't gonna be easy

considering the state
police have been combing

Hazzard for weeks
without any luck.

You either got to catch
the hijackers in the act..

Or find out where
the stuff is hid.

It might be simpler to find out

where that stolen stuff came
from and start from there.

Oh, a shame I still ain't
on the force anymore.

We got all that
information right there

in the sheriff's
office in the files.

I writ it up myself.

Cletus..

How'd you like to become

one of the first men ever

to break into the
Hazzard County jail?

Uh-huh! No. No way, no how!

No! Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh.

'Shh!'

'Hazzard County sheriff office.'

'Sheriff Rosco P.
Coltrane talking at ya.'

Oh, Sheriff Coltrane.
I'm so relieved it's you.

I-I wanna file a
missing person's report.

'My little Jethro's been
missing for two whole days!'

Oh, he's been gone for two days

and you're just
now reporting it?

Oh, well, that's
naughty, naughty.

Uh, listen, uh, let me take down

some vital statistics here.

Now-now, give me-give
me one of your vitals.

Cletus, where you keep
them hijacking reports?

Uh, fourth file, top drawer

under "M" for miscellaneous.

Why do you file a hijacking
report under miscellaneous?

I put everything
under miscellaneous.

You'd be surprised
how much time I save.

Oh, now let-let
me get this straight.

Now you say the
subject is four years old.

Well, how about his
height and his weight?

Well, I ain't hefted
him up recently

but I reckon he's average weight

for his size, sugar.
I mean sheriff.

Wait a minute. Aha, here we go.

Well, here's three
of them, anyway.

Let's see here,
"washing machines

motorcycles, TV sets."

Nothing them guys can't
take their time getting rid of.

'Cletus, you notice anything
special about these reports?'

- 'No.'
- Look.

All three cargoes
originated in the same place.

United Shipping
Terminal, Colonial City.

Huh, I'll be
darned. You're right.

- How we doing, Bo?
- Just fine.

- Come here.
- Daisy's got him on the phone.

Uh, what kind of spots?

You know, like
measles or chicken pox

or-or maybe just freckles?

Oh, I don't think
it's none of those.

But they stretch from his
nose clear on down to his tail.

Oh, good, from his nose..

To his tail, uh..

Nose to his tail?

Uh, it sounds like
your Jethro's a dog.

He is a dog. And
this is Daisy Duke.

You're shucking and jiving
me and this is a decoy!

I'm gone.

Freeze!

Okay, Rosco, you're froze.

You folks stick around 'cause
we're gonna be right back.

Freeze! That goes for everybody!

Anybody?

- Just freeze!
- Uh! Oh, listen, boys.

Freeze now.

I'm not kidding with
ya, not this time.

You hurt me.

Come-c-come.

- 'Help.'
- Come on now, please? Come on.

- 'Help, Cletus!'
- Come on, Cletus.

Cletus!

That wasCletus.

- 'Now, get in here.'
- 'Quit fighting me.'

'Would you quit
standing on my foot?'

'Cletus, get in the car.'

Ooh! Aah!

- Ah, time for seconds.
- 'No doubt.'

Y-you... freeze!

There's Daisy Duke
and that's the boys

and Cletus with her. Follow her.

Rosco, you
god-darned road apple.

While you're drowning
me, they're escapin'!

Oh, give me that. Oh.

Seeing as how all
the h*jacked trucks

started out from the same town.

Luke figured they'd
best start checking out

the shipping terminals
in Colonial City..

Looking for a lead
on the road pirates.

Now the boys had
really thought things out.

They even dressed up decent..

So nobody'd recognize them.

You know, slicked up,
they don't look half-bad.

Morning.

Can't you guys read? The
sign says "No admittance."

I reckon you're gonna
have to make an exception.

State Department Of Highways.

That's right.

And it seems we've
had a few complaints

about some of your
shipments to Nashville

being just a smidgen overweight.

Overweight?

So we're gonna
have to run a check

on your current manifests.

Okay. Help yourself. Over
there on the top drawer.

I got work to do.

Luke, I think we're
barking up the wrong tree.

He didn't even give
us an argument.

Maybe that was because he was
in such a hurry to get out of here.

Now you take a look
at them manifests

and I'll keep an eye on him.

'No, I'm not blowing my cool.'

'Somebody's on to us.'

'These two guys down here'

say they're from the
Highway Department.

Well, they're
phonier than $ bills.

I think we oughta
call off the hijack.

You're not getting
paid to think.

I've already lined up
buyers for them goods.

And I've already
lined up the necklace

you promised to buy
me with the profits.

You heard me.

If we're gonna rip
off that shipment

it has to pass through
Hazzard County

today, on schedule.

Now let's talk
about the bracelet

to go with the necklace.

Alright, we can talk about it.

I think I hit the jackpot.

Well, I'm afraid I'm
one up on you, cousin

'cause I just hit
on two of them.

While the boys was
hittin' the jackpot

ol' Boss was rollin' snake eyes.

Oh, of course I'm sure
of the number, operator.

"Tri-Counties Video."

- " ..."
- Yeah.

" - in Colonial City."

Disconnected? That...
can't be disconnected.

I was talking to
them only yesterday!

Hello? Hello, operator?

Aah! Dag blast it!

Listen, Boss, you
don't happen to think

that-that Garbade fella
double-crossed you, do ya?

Well, whether he did
or whether he didn't

is beside the point.

The point is, you
got three choices.

You can either get
me back my TV sets

or give me back my $ ,

or you can get it
taken out of your hide!

Meanwhile, the Dukes'
plan to catch the road pirates

started to fit together
like biscuits and gravy.

The best way to find
the pirates was to ride

in the truck that they
was gonna hijack.

Which was slick thinking,
except there was two trucks

scheduled to pass through
Hazzard County that day.

So, Bo and Luke figured to
split up and take one apiece.

Now all they needed
was a surefire way

to stop that truck
and hitch a ride.

'Damn! Look at those legs!'

And that's one surefire
way to stop a truck.

Anybody home?

Why don't y'all
come in and find out?

I knew this would
be my lucky day.

Can I give you a hand?

Well, you sure can, sugar

but only with the car.

'Now this muffler is
rattling something fierce.'

'I'm afraid it's
gonna fall off.'

'Reckon you can
tighten it up for me a bit?'

'Honey, I reckon I can do
just about anything for you.'

'Aren't you sweet?'

'You knights of the
road are okay by me.'

Mm-hmm. I just don't
know how to thank you.

I do!

On second thought, I do
know how to thank you.

Next time you get stopped by
the Hazzard sheriff for speedin'

just mention my name..

'...on account of
he's my daddy.'

- Like in sugar or papa?
- Papa.

Well, what's the difference?

Either way, he'll be
packing a shotgun

and carrying a nasty grin.

So I guess I'll
just be moving on.

Have a nice day, sugar.

Come back!

Now what works
once will work again..

Especially if it's a driver
with healthy hormones.

And Daisy looking like a
swanky hood ornament.

And it worked.

Thanks, Daisy.

You better get ahold
of Jesse and Cooter

and have 'em keep an eye out

for that truck
that Bo's hiding in.

Will do.

And you remember,
we'll be following

right behind you all the way.

Alright, but not too close.

You got it, cousin.

Come on, Cletus!

- Ha-ha!
- 'Let's go!'

Oh, Daisy, you little dickens!

You can charm the hickory
nuts out of a squirrel's mouth too!

Stereo city.

- Thar she blows.
- Yeah, and it's about time.

I've been sitting here so long

I'm about to take root.

Uh, this is Shepherd
to Black Sheep One.

- Do you read me?
- Yeah, I sure can.

Y'all must be right on my back.

And stay there
'cause I'm sitting

on a whole mountain
of stereo equipment.

This shipment's gotta
be the one they're after.

Ah, well, you heard the boy.

Let's go.

- Daisy, are you still there?
- I'm right here, cousin.

I'm laying about a
half-mile back of you.

Good.

I can't run in to that branch.

Some tree!

Hold it!

Daisy, I think this is it.

Them hijackers are
taking over the truck.

What do you want us to do?

Well, Jesse and Cooter
can't be too far ahead

so give them a call on the horn

and have them turn around
and come back to meet us.

And stay out of
sight of this truck

till we can find out
where it's going.

'Okay. That's a - .'

Over and out.

Daisy, I think we
just took a right turn.

I-I'm-I'm gonna go up
front and see if I can see

through that vent and
see some kind of landmark

that-that'll let you
know where we are.

Luke!

Come in, Luke!

Luke, can you hear me? Come in!

Damn! Something's gone wrong.

Sounded like some kind of crash

'just before his
radio went out.'

Uncle Jesse, Cooter..

We just lost contact
with the other truck.

Ah, don't you worry none, Daisy.

We'll get Luke out of that mess.

Ah, did you hear that, Bo?

Yeah, that's right,
Uncle Jesse but, uh..

First y'all have to get me out

of this mess so I can help you.

Look, this truck
ain't gonna stop

so why don't y'all get
close enough to pick me up?

That's a big - , good buddy.

We're gonna be nibbling on
your tail feathers in no time now.

Hang on, Uncle Jesse.

Now hold her as steady
as you can, Cooter

and-and-and get up there close.

A little closer.

Easy, easy.

Back off! Back off!

There ain't no use, Bo!

I can't hold it close
enough for you to walk it!

Look, Cooter, who said
anything about walking?

Just hold her steady.
I'll be right over there.

No.

Sorry to leave you hangin', Bo..

But this won't take long.

You alright, Bo?

Yeah, I'm fine, Uncle
Jesse, but how's Luke?

Well, last thing he said

before his
walkie-talkie went out

was he was taking a right turn

'off the highway.'

Cooter, would you
give me the CB, please?

Uh, Daisy? Look, this here's Bo.

Uh, where were you when
you lost contact with Luke?

Just inside the county line.

Daisy, there ain't
no crossroads there.

Exceptin' that old, uh, cow path

that leads up to the
old Hobson spread.

'Course, that place has
been deserted for years.

But the barn is still
standing, and it's a big..

Get in here, Bo!

That's good enough
for me, Uncle Jesse.

Listen, Cletus, you
might've got a point there.

Uh, we'll meet you at the
Hobson farm and take it from there.

You got it, Bo.

Well, now, y'all hang
on 'cause I'm gonna have

to take us a little shortcut.

Hold on, sugar.

Not to me.

Jumpin' Jehoshaphat's!

Boss, this is Sheriff
Rosco P. Coltrane.

You got your ears on? Come on.

'Course I got my ears on.

Also my chin, my nose,
and what's left of my hair.

Can't you just quit
that idiot CB jivin'

and talk to me in good
American talk, over?

Oh, uh, well, that's
a - , little buddy.

Listen, I just saw
Daisy driving Cletus

down a cow path toward
old Hobson's place.

- Come on.
- Daisy and Cletus?

Well, that means them
Duke boys can't be far away.

Not to mention all my TV sets

and everything else
they done h*jacked

the last few weeks, over.

Well, don't you worry
about a thing, Boss

'cause I'm gonna catch 'em.

I'm gonna catch 'em

up to their eyes in evidence!

'Over.'

Not their eyes, you hear me?

You ain't taking anything
above their ankles.

Everything higher than
that's gonna be mine!

Now, just so you don't
mess things up as usual

you stay right where
you are till I get there.

You read me, Rosco?

'Don't you move an inch!'

That's a - ..

You... you!

Oh!

Aah!

'Watch those horses.'

'I see 'em, I see
'em, Uncle Jesse.'

- Cooter, the horses!
- I see 'em, Uncle Jesse!

'They sure are pretty.'

Powers, get that forklift!

'Okay, boss, I'll get it!'

'Come on, let's go, Powers!'

'Hurry up, hurry up!'

'You act like you
never done this before!'

'Come on, now get
that truck unloaded!'

'Hey, don't drop that stuff!'

'Powers, you drive
like an old lady!'

'Get that forklift moving!'

'Move it up in there! Get
those boxes out of there!'

'Alright, get that
pallet ready.'

'I'm coming back.'

'Now don't try to
take it all at once.'

'Just take one at a time
and get 'em in there.'

- 'Easy, easy.'
- 'I got it, alright.'

'Powers, get that thing moving!'

'Watch behind you,
man. Watch out.'

Better check it out.
I'll give you a lift.

Garbade, you better get in here!

We got trouble!

He's up in the loft.

You take the stairs.
We got him trapped.

We gotta get that guy!

He can blow our
whole setup! Come on!

Rosco, wake up! Wake up, now!

Uh, Sheriff Rosco
P. Coltrane here.

'Uh, is that you, Boss?
Where you been?'

Y-your driver get
lost or something?

What's your - ? Come on.

I'm sitting right next
to you, numskull!

- Oh!
- Now you find them Duke boys!

Go on! Get movin' or else!

I'm-I'm going!

Or else!

Alright, then! Aah!

Ol' Luke could escape,
but he couldn't run away.

He had to keep circling
like a tail chasing co*n hound

to keep everybody there
till the reinforcements came.

- That's Luke!
- Yeah!

'These guys must
be the hijackers.'

'What are they
doing chasing Luke?'

'I thought it was supposed
to be the other way around.'

Well, I don't know, Cletus

but I think we
better catch this act.

Uh!

Oh.

Uh.

Oh!

You really had your
bell rung, didn't you?

You okay?

Good, 'cause I'm
making a citizen's arrest.

Whoa!

Well..

Well, lucky boy,
aren't you a mess?

- Can't take you anywhere!
- 'Oh.'

It's gonna be a little
crowded in Daisy's car.

At least you'll have
a friend to talk to.

Bo Duke, I got you!

Rosco, we ain't
got no time for this.

We think Luke's over
at the old Hobson place

and he might be in trouble.

Well, not as much trouble

as you're in, Bo Duke.

Until I can make a
charge of hijacking stick

I'm arresting you
for violation of parole!

And I'm paroling him
for violation of parole.

Hmm?

There's a regular
gold mine up ahead..

And we can't waste time here
with these cotton choppers.

Get to the merchandise!

I'm going!

You fat little kumquat.

Let's get out of here. Come on!

You boys comfortable back there?

Jeez! Ohh!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Well, that's one of
your better catches.

Yep.

That's right neighborly of
y'all to drop in on us like this.

Come on, honey.

Well, hi, sheriff. Got
a little present for you.

- It's not even your birthday.
- Oh, hush, Cletus!

Just cuff him and stuff him!

'Hey, Boss..'

that dipstick that
fell out of a tree

is he the man that
sold you them TV sets?

Yeah, sure he is.

I'm gonna claim those
TV sets right now!

All $ , worth!

'And you'll get them
sets too, Boss..'

unless the state police have
to confiscate 'em for evidence.

State police?

Oh, they don't even
know them sets are here.

- Oh, yeah, they do.
- They do? What?

Well, yes, you see..

I had to call 'em on the CB

when I was getting
close to the hijackers.

You what?

But you're gonna get them sets.

Well, alright!

Unless you were dang fool enough

to buy stolen property
in the first place.

Huh? Oh, me?

Hey, Bo!

I sure am glad
y'all could make it.

Another couple of
laps around that barn

and she'd have been
running on the fumes.

Well, Cletus, you're a hero.

You catched all those hijackers

and I'm realproud of you.

That's right, now I think you
oughta give him his reward.

Reward? There a reward?

Oh, you betcha.

Come on, Daisy. Show
him a little Duke gratitude.

My pleasure.

And that's the story
of how the Duke boys

rounded up the road pirates.

Let's go. Move it on in there.

Go on, go on.

Boss lost $ ,

that he paid for them stolen TVs

and threatened to take
it out of Rosco's pay.

All of which called for
a little fun ceremony..

To get Cletus reinstated.

Which the Dukes set up to
kind of rub it in on old Boss.

Everybody figured
Cletus was squirming

'cause Daisy was
so close to him..

All breathy and sweet-smelling.

The truth is he was
just too bashful to tell her

that she was pinning that badge

right through his
shirt to his skin.

And, gosh, that's bashful.

But that's what you'd
expect in Hazzard County.