04x19 - Nothin' But the Truth

[bunniefuu]

'Yee-haw!'

Woah, now.

I know it looks awful
peaceful, that it don't look

much like Hazzard with nobody
chasing anybody or nothing.

Well, friends and neighbors,
it's been that way all week.

With ol' Rosco away at
the Sheriffs Convention

and Boss Hogg
acting almost human.

Why, even old Cletus,
he ain't even chased

the General once
in the whole week.

As they say in
'em old w*r movies

"It's quiet. Too quiet."

I don't get it.

I keep driving in and out of
Rosco's favorite speed trap

and Cletus just acts
like we ain't even there.

Well, we ain't exactly speedin'.

Never needed that
as an excuse before.

Don't look like he needs
an excuse now either.

Now that's more like it.

Why don't we pull over
and see what he wants?

- That oughta surprise him.
- Try it.

Hi, fellas.

- Cletus.
- Cletus.

Sorry for pulling you over

but you've really gone
and done it this time.

We wanna know what did we do?

Uh, you dropped this
mirror about a half mile back.

I think you oughta hang on to
it, you might need it some time.

Uh, thanks.
Thanks a lot, Cletus.

It's okay. Have a good day.

You, too.

I ain't believing that.

Well, I ain't
believing that either.

'Tour bus. Ha ha ha.'

What in the world could anybody
wanna see or do in Hazzard?

You got me.

Maybe they're just
passing through.

For the answer to that

y'all gotta look at the
Olde Hazzard Livery Stable.

Boss Hogg has done turned

into a county
memorial historical site..

And gambling casino.

'Another new sh**t comin' up.'

'Place your bets,
ladies and gentlemen.'

'And we have a winner.

'Now I have $ on
that. I'll take $ on that.'

Business sure is
booming in there, ain't it?

Yes siree, Bob, Mr. Lacey.

You and your boys are lucky that
you have my Olde Livery Stable

here to set up your
gambling casino in.

I mean, like you
said, you just couldn't

find no safe place
nowheres else.

What with that State Crime
Commission on gambling

crackin' down everywhere.

You're being well
taken care of, Hogg.

A % of a daily take is a
pretty good rent for this place.

And you know something?

That % is gettin' you some

high-class police
protection too.

That %.

I mean, it wasn't easy
or cheap to buy off

Sheriff Rosco P.
Coltrane. No siree.

Uh, that man sure
drives a hard bargain.

If you're looking for a
raise, Hogg, forget it!

Yeah?

- It's for you.
- Who? Oh!

For me? Who knows I'm here?

J.D. Hogg!

Oh. Uh, uh, yeah?
Well, you sure of that?

Alright, alright. Thank
you. I appreciate it.

You see, I just got
a tip. Ain't that funny.

The State Crime
Commission on gambling

is gonna poke their
nose into Hazzard County

this very afternoon.

Well... it looks like we better
close down and move off.

Ah! Hey, wait a minute.
There's no need for..

Gimme that. Dang!

Listen. I'm prepared
for these emergencies.

In fact, when that
investigator shows up

I got somebody all set
up up to take the fall.

Oh! Mm.

There we go. That'd
just about do it.

I hope so. You dang
near put me to sleep.

Alright.

Now, long about now old
Rosco's gonna be coming back

from a sheriff
convention in Atlanta.

He's got a bag just plum full
of law enforcement goodies.

Boss Hogg, this is
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.

'You got your ears on, come on.'

Rosco, this is J.D. Hogg.
Where in tarnation are you?

I'm just a hoot and
holler out of Hazzard.

I tell you, it's
good to be back.

Uh-oh. Uh.

Ah, Boss. Hang
on just for a second.

Boss Hogg, this is
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.

Listen. I got them
Dukes in my sights

I've got them
this time for sure.

C-c-come back.

Rosco, uh..

You stop them Duke boys,
and you're the new box boy

at my all night drive-through
supermarket and gourmet deli.

Listen. I don't want them
Dukes behind bars till I'm ready.

So you just cease and
desist. You hear me?

That's a big - .

I'm telling you, Flash.

Boss is more changeable than
a stack of diapers in a nursery.

Rosco didn't give it half a try.

What do you
suppose got into him?

I don't know.

But there's something strange,
and I don't like the feel of it.

'Now, Cletus. Now,
pay close attention.'

You see all that stuff?
These are samples

used at the police
convention down in Atlanta.

- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm. Newest equipment.

Now, for instance,
this is a radar g*n.

This is for catching speed
urchins like them Duke boys.

Alright, zap 'em.

Um, uh, and this,
this is a booklet on, uh

training your police dog to
sniff expl*sives and marijuana.

Isn't that cute, Flash?

I know.

Now, this is the
important one here.

This one.

You see this?
Guess what that is?

That's for measles, ha ha.

It's sodium pentothal,
dipstick. It's a truth serum.

See, you inject
this into a prisoner

ask him questions,
and he can't tell a lie

if his life depends on it.

Truth and nothing but, huh?
How'd you expect that works.

- Cletus, I don't know.
- Well, I mean...

And if you keep interrupting
me and asking questions

I'm not gonna be able
to tell you anything.

Well, hush then. Just hush.

Alright. Now, you see these.

See, these are handcuffs.

I knew that.

Cletus, they're not
just ordinary handcuffs.

Can't get outta these. Give
me your wrist. I'll show ya.

Yeah, y-you snap that
right on there like that.

Now, just snap
this right on this..

'...drawer right there.'

Ooh, woah!

- Can't get out.
- This is strong.

- No way out.
- Only with a key.

- Where's the key.
- I didn't get the key. I just..

No key?

Oh, Cletus? Would
you clear outta here?

Rosco and I got business, and
it's top secret. Move your butt.

A little problem, Boss. No
key to these cuffs. I'm cuffed.

Take the drawer with you.
The-then, we'll get it off..

Ow, for goodness' sake.

Want me to take the papers?

- Cletus!
- Yow..

Yeah, return that drawer,
will you? It's private property.

Huh!

Ooh, aa-di-da. Would you
get that beast out of that seat.

I mean, that seat is for
humans, not for house..

Move it, will you.

- Oh, Mabel. This is J.D. Hogg.
- Say hello from Rosco.

Mabel, get me the State
Crime Commission in Atlanta.

Let me know when you got 'em.

Uh, Boss.

Did you say State
Crime Commission?

'I did.'

I just got a tip that an
investigator from there

is comin' down here
to sniff out all gamblin'

and clean up Hazzard
County real fast.

Ooh.

Well, we're gonna help him.

Are you kiddin' me? That means
I don't get the % of your %.

What you got is %.
And that's of my %

Well, now, I'm gonna get zip
when you turn in Lacey, right?

- Wrong.
- Wrong?

I mean, you just don't turn in
them organized crime fellows

without attendin'
your own funeral.

We're in seamen
shoes. No, sirree, Bob.

I'm gonna name someone
else to the crime commissioner

as gamblin' kingpins
of Hazzard County.

Ooh, ugh, w-who could that be?

The Dukes.

- The Dukes?
- The Dukes!

- The Dukes!
- Yeah!

Oh! I love it. Th-th-they
don't have a casino.

Yeah, well, they will have

when I set one up in
that old barn of theirs.

Now, in exactly two hours,
that investigator and us

are gonna catch 'em with
their slot machines down.

Ooh, that's marvelous.

Murphy's Law.

"If everything's comin' your
way, chances are pretty good

you're in the wrong lane."

Especially where Boss
and Rosco are concerned.

Luke and me figured
we'd kinda sneak into town

snoop around, see
what we figure out.

Jesse's Law is, "You
don't burn your bridges

before you come to 'em"

Well, that's true,
Uncle Jesse, but..

What about it? Knowin' these
two, trouble's goin' to find 'em

'quick enough without
them goin' lookin' for it.'

That's the truth,
and you know it.

And besides that, there's
plenty to do around here.

As a matter of fact,
you can just start out by..

Goin' to town and pickin'
up these supplies for me.

And incidentally, that
there's brown sugar..

You-u-u got it, sir.

Of course, now, uh..

While you're in town...
it, uh, wouldn't hurt nothin'

to look around an-and
see what's goin' on.

Yes, sir.

Bye.

Only the Dukes would go to town

to find out why they
can't get arrested.

Hmm.

- 'Cooter?'
- What?

Will you hurry up and
finish with my vehicle.

I've gotta go on a
raid in a little while.

What you gonna raid,
Rosco? Boss Hogg's icebox?

Well, yo-you..
Will you just hush.

I'm not supposed to reveal
official police business

to you civilians anyway.

What?

Ooh.

This is J.D. Hogg calling
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.

Ooh.

You got your ears on out
there? Rosco, where are you at?

'Right here, fat buddy.'

This is ol' Rosco P.
Coltrane, come on.

Well, I just wanted to make
sure that everything was ready.

So tell me, did you fill
Cletus in yet on the raid?

'That's a big - .'

In fact, uh, we will be
surrounding the barn

at the Duke farm in exactly..

'...one hour'

I'm gone.

Ha ha ha.

Alright, Rosco.
You're ready to roll.

Yeah, I appreciate it.

Them ol' boys are
up to something.

'Did Cooter take
the bait, Boss?'

'Hook, line, and Blue Tail Fly.'

Now, stand back and
let the dog see the rabbit.

He he he.

- Luke, are you done?
- Yeah.

Cooter!

Listen. I don't know
what to make of this

but I just overheard Boss
and Rosco talking about

a raid at your place in an hour.

- Raid? At our house?
- In an hour?

- That's what I heard.
- Thanks a lot, Cooter.

Cooter didn't know that he was
acting as Boss' messenger boy

when he told Bo and Luke
what he just overheard.

Meanwhile, the casino
business was cookin'

like an all-day singin'
with dinner on the ground.

'How did that get there?'

With that raid in
less than an hour

it ain't important
how it got there

it's how we gonna get rid of it.

I know just the man for the job.

This here's Lost Sheep calling
the Shepherd, come back.

This here's Lost sheep
calling the Shepherd.

Now, Luke filled in Jesse
and Daisy on what was cookin'

so they raced right
back to the farm

not knowing they was
playing right into Boss'

grubby, little paws.

Can you make it back?

On my way.

Gamblin' equipment?

I'll be right there.

And Cletus had gone
to pick up an official VIP

all the way from Hotlanta.

Things are really
movin', ain't they?

Rosco tells me, um, you're
some kind of special investigator?

- State Crime Commission.
- State Crime Commission.

Tell me something, deputy?

Do you always go around
handcuffed to a piece of wood?

This? Ha ha. Oh, no.

- Used to be a desk drawer.
- Ah.

I cut it down for
easier handlin'.

Sorry I asked.

- Ooh, ooh.
- What?

- Look at that.
- That must be him.

Hey.

- Mr. Gorman?
- Mm-hmm.

Nice to see ya.

That's the organized crime
family you were talkin' about?

'Yeah, yeah, that's them.'

Jesse, Daisy, Bo and Luke.

Otherwise known
as the Duke g*ng.

They're behind every dirty
thieving underhanded racket

you can think of...
and then some.

- Ain't that right, sheriff?
- Yeah.

See, this is the first time

we've really caught
'em with the goods.

Well, then I suggest
we take 'em right quick.

- Do that! Do that! Come on.
- Oh, yeah, that's good.

There you go.
Sorry, Uncle Jesse.

That's alright.

Alright, everybody spread out.

Alright, Luke, fire it up.

Yes, sir, the Dukes had
been snookered smooth

as a country pool
hustler with a rent due.

And Jesse and Daisy
carrying a full load

were like two sittin' hens
waiting for their hungry fox.

- You're gonna lose him.
- No way.

'Come on faster,
will you? Come on..'

Now, y'all see that? Watch it.

Bo..

I see 'em.

Now, friends and
neighbors, when they go

to all the troubles to
put up a sign in Hazzard

that augurs they mean it.

- No, no. Watch out.
- Oh, oh, oh.

Jesse Duke, Daisy Duke,
Bo Duke, Luke Duke.

You are hereby formally
charged with runnin'

an illegal gamblin' hall

operatin' illegal
gamblin' equipment and...

J.D, that's a bald-faced lie

and you know it.
Somebody framed us.

And you know dang well who
framed us, don't you, Boss?

Order, order, order.

'Any further outbursts'

interfering with the reading
of charges is contempt to court

and I'm gonna hold the
perpetrator and fine him $ .

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

Right there is $ .

Now, I've got a thing
or two I want to say.

That there equipment
didn't belong to us.

Oh, yeah? Well, it
was in your truck.

Well, that don't
mean it belongs to us.

Oh, well, if it
was in your truck

and it didn't belong to
you, then it's gotta be stolen.

So, I'm just gonna
have to charge

a grand theft gamblin' equipment

to these other charges
of reckless drivin'

evadin' arrest and..

These are only
Hazzard County charges.

You Dukes are
going to be directed

to appear before the grand jury

to be indicted by the state!

Sheriff, lock 'em up.

- Right.
- Now, hold on, Boss.

Now, we got a right to bail.

Bail! Alright, alright. Bail!

But seeing the seriousness
of these here charges

and considering them
other offences of yours

bail is gonna be set at $ .

Now, hold on. We can't
afford no thousand dollar bail.

Make it a million.

We got as much chance
of raising one as the other.

Then, I guess
there's just no way

for you Dukes
to stay outta jail.

Sheriff! Take them away.

Will you just take them out?

That's the way.

Mr. Gorman, I think that's gonna
clear up gamblin' around here.

It's good. I'm on my
way back to the capital.

Alright. You just have a
good trip now, you hear me?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You still here?

Now, with the Dukes gone to jail

and the State Crime Commission
convinced that gambling

had been cleaned up in Hazzard.

Well, you might say that old
Boss Hogg was set and free.

Oh, no. What's that doin' there?

That is until he sat on
Rosco's hypodermic needle

that was filled with sodium
pentothal truth serum.

Oh, Lacey, J.D. Hogg.

Listen, I'm comin'
out to get my money.

Now, the State Crime
Commission is all taken care of.

We got nothin' to worry about.

Mm-hmm. Bye.

Quiet, will you?

Do you think Flash
is trying to warn Boss?

Well, he ain't listenin'.

We must be about a
half bubble off plumb

lettin' Boss get away
with a stunt like that.

We only did what was natural.

And we had no
idea it was a set up.

That crazy bail
Boss has got us set

we're never gonna
get out to prove it.

Never fear, bail is here.

'Hey, Cooter.'

Since I helped get you in here

the least I can
do is get you out.

You ain't got no
thousand dollars

sittin' around doin' nothin'.

I had little bit
stored in a sock.

And I passed the hat
around. Lot of people kicked in.

'Miss Ruebottom, Miz Tisdale.'

Y'all got a lot of friends
in Hazzard County.

Now, what with old Cooter
collectin' most of the gross

national product of Hazzard.

The Dukes luck had changed.

Meanwhile, old Boss had
dropped by the gambling casino

to pick up his scam money.

He was loaded with
enough truth serum

to shut down a
liarss convention.

You can pull that
handle all night

you ain't gonna win nothin'.
That machine is crooked.

Who said that?

Is that me? Holy canon ball.

Why did I go and
say somethin' truthful?

I think that stuff's workin'.

- It was nice of Cooter.
- Sure was.

Ain't friends wonderful?

The way I figure it

Boss is using us to
cover his dirty laundry.

Hell, he gotta be.

I'll bet that stuff that was in
our barn is in his casino now.

Yeah, that may be, but
what's been botherin' me.

Hazzard County ain't especially
known for its high rollers.

Where's Boss comin' up
with these big spenders?

- Them tour buses.
- Yes.

It's gotta be. Where else
could they come from?

Then all we gotta do is find
the buses, and we got the casino.

- Let's go.
- Alright.

What do you
suppose they're up to?

Well, it's no good.
You can bet on that.

Don't just stand there, get
your posterior in your car

and watch those Duke boys.

Oh!

You dumb car.

Well, while the Dukes was
out tryin' to clear themselves

of somethin' that
they hadn't done..

Cletus was followin'
Roscoe's orders.

Thirty percent
of thirty percent.

Thirty into thirty.. Uh..

Roscos who couldn't count a
row up hands was tryin' to figure

how much his % come to.

Meantime, that truth serum
was still cookin' on old Boss.

- Alex.
- Yes, Boss.

I got this strange compelling
urge to tell you somethin'

but don't listen.

The wool I pull over every
body's eyes is % polyester.

Did you know that?

Give me a hand, and
I'll stick it in your pocket.

Did you know that?

I lie so much, I
even lie to my diary.

Did you know that?

I underpay you and when
I do, I shortchange you.

Did you know that?

What I don't know is
why I'm telling you all this.

Stop the car! Stop the car!

Stop, stop, stop!

Let me outta here.

Ah!

Yeah, now, that's
the way it should be.

J.D Hogg, what in the
world is happenin' to you?

I declare you must
be losin' your mind.

The Dukes were
waitin' for that tour bus

so they could follow it.

Howsomever, Cletus
was watchin' them.

'Cletus' still there?'

Yes, sir. Just like a
fly in the buttermilk.

That bus comes along, we
don't want him on our tail.

Well, I'll tell you what.
If y'all can distract him

for a little bit, I think
I can clip his wings.

Hey, wait a minute.
I think I got somethin'

to distract him here.

- What do you think, fellas?
- It could distract me.

Well, if that don't get
him, he's not American.

Come on, Bo, let's
give her some cover.

Will you hurry up? That bus
could come along any minute now.

'I'm hurryin' as fast as I can.'

Get her out of there.

Uh-huh, that ought to do it.

Alright.

Hey, you know,
this is kinda fun.

Got any film in there?

'Are you crazy? Of course not.'

sh**t! If Bo wanted to,
he could take the whole car.

Cletus will never know.

Hello.

Say, you know, I never make
a promise I intend to keep.

Forget that, will you?

Say, you know, when I
lay my cards on the table

I got another deck up my sleeve.

Just pay no attention.
Pay no attention.

Oh, goodness. Why
am I saying all this?

Please, please. Help me
to stop sayin' all these things

before I lose everything
I worked so hard to steal.

- Well, there it is.
- Yeah.

Wha..

Uh-oh, looks like Lacey's
sent his boys to ride shotgun.

On the next bus load.

That looks like them Duke
fellas in that car ahead of us.

If I don't miss my guess,
they are figurin' to tail the bus.

Not bad for a city boy.

Bo.

Pull over!

You know, if I was old Bo,
I'd do what the man says.

He wouldn't miss at that range

Pull over!

- Bo, do like the man says.
- What?

Put the pedal down.
Let's keep movin'.

Deputy Cletus Hogg
calling the sheriff.

'Can you read me, sheriff?'

Loud and clear,
Cletus. Keep talkin'.

That's about all I can do
since I lost both my wheels

just after Dukes took
after some tour bus.

Tour bus? Are you kiddin' me?

I told you not to let them
Duke boys out of your sight.

Cletus, if those Duke
boys get to that tour bus

before I can stop 'em, you're
the new soap and sudsers

at the Hazzard County car wash.

What Roscoe didn't know
is that Boss was in trouble

up to all three chins.

Oh, my, oh, my.

What a homely baby.

Save me, save me. Come
on, let's get out of here.

Them boys are right
back on us again.

'Who are those fellas?'

We ain't got the slightest idea.

They ain't sh**t' at us
just to get our attention.

Can we save the question
and answer period?

Y'all remember Jesse had sent
them to town to buy supplies.

Amongst which was brown
sugar and a bucket of nails.

'I got me an idea.'

Well, that brown sugar ain't
gonna be much help, but..

Yoo-hoo!

Good goin', Daisy.

Oh, oh, there are
those Dukes, Flash.

'What d'you suppose
Rosco's all head up about?'

He probably don't want
us to find that tour bus.

- Daisy, you got any more nails?
- 'Bone dry.'

Them bad guys only used a
few of what we throwin' out.

Hang on, hang on.

Dang Dukes.

They're slippery as six
slimy snakes in an oil slick.

- Rosco's still there.
- Like a dog on the leash.

Take him right up the one-yard
line, then make an in-run, Bo.

You got it.

Leave him them
nails all by himself.

Ooh!

- Roscoe's down and dirty.
- He okay?

Yeah, nothing's
hurt, but his pride.

Back at Boss' house

that truth serum was
creepin' into his domestic bliss.

'Jefferson Davis Hogg'

you're a low-down polecat
if ever there was one.

Yeah, but, Lulukins, I
didn't mean what I said.

That is I meant it, but
I didn't mean to say it.

No, no, no, I mean,
what I mean is

I can't help for some compelling
reason from sayin' anything

but the awful truth.

That you married
me for my money.

That was the only way to get it.

I'm as big as the house.

Well, there are all
different size houses.

That when I went
to the beauty parlor

it looked like I
never got waited on.

Did you? I mean, didn't you?
Oh, I don't know what I mean.

I just know that, that, that I
can't help what's come over me.

Well, this is what's
come over you.

Oh!

'The truth will out.'

- You are out.
- Oh!

Lacey's boys told their
boss about the Dukes

tryin' to tail the tour bus.

Bein' no one's fool, Lacey
decided that he better get

ol' Boss Hogg to find some
way to keep them Dukes

from nosin' around,
and right quick.

So they headed
for the Boar's Nest.

What's wrong?

You look down in the
mouth, little fat buddy.

Ooh! I didn't mean fat.

- No, but it's the truth.
- It is?

- I'm fat.
- You are?

- I over-eat.
- You do?

I'll eat anything that
won't bite me first.

- Well, that's a truth.
- It is the truth.

Ooh, uh, speakin' of
bitin', look at this rascal.

You remember that?

- I never caught that thing.
- You didn't?

I bought it stuffed and
mounted in Atlanta.

Are you kiddin' me?

You told me you
caught this sucker

and it took three
hours to reel him in.

But now I'm
tellin' you the truth.

Don't you know the
truth when you hear it?

Well, not comin' from you.

Well, I'm gonna tell
you some more truth.

I never intended to give
you your rightful share

of my gamblin' take.

I will knock you in the
middle of next week.

Yeah, you should,
you should, you should.

Well, Boss, you know somethin'.

Uh, that's the nicest
thing you ever did though.

I mean, tellin' me
the truth like that.

Rosco, you're a dumb
enough to be twins.

Thank you very much
for them fine sentiments

but do you think that
I want to tell the truth?

- Why do you do it?
- I can't stop, you dodo.

All i know is I
gotta find a cure.

A cure to make me
stop tellin' the truth.

You know somethin',
Boss, I'll swear you sound

just like a police
officer down in Atlanta

when they injected
him with this truth serum.

He just blabbed his mouth off.

- He couldn't shut up..
- Truth serum?

Truth serum.

Lord Almighty.

The needle I sat on in
your office, that's why.

You got me a
dose of truth serum.

- Roscoe.
- What?

You gotta get me an antidote.
An antidote. You hear?

Get me a cure to help me
stop tellin' the truth or I'm ruined.

Listen, don't worry.

I'll go to my office,
I'll get that pamphlet

that came with the truth serum,
I'm sure it's got an antidote.

- You stay here - Alright.

Now, listen, don't
worry about it.

At least, we know
they're headin' West

on past Sunset Lake.

Those guys that was
taking potshots at us

we figured is ridin'
shotgun on the bus

to discourage
anybody from tailin' 'em.

So listen y'all be
real, real careful..

- Oh, yeah.
- Well, let's get started.

- Where are my keys?
- You left 'em on the table.

I'll get 'em, then we'll
all leave together.

Yes, sir.

Yeah.

Internal Revenue Service.

Uh-huh, well, this is J.D.
Hogg of Hazzard County.

Uh-huh. Huh? Oh,
Jefferson Davis Hogg. Yeah.

Um, uh, I'm callin' about my
last year's income tax return.

Hmm, to be real
truthful about it

and it seems I have no choice

I shortchanged
you fellas last year.

Yeah, and the year before that

and the year before that

and the year before..

Listen, Flash and I've read
this whole book through

and we can't find an
antidote for the pentothal.

While Rosco was callin' Atlanta

for an antidote
to the truth serum

Boss was callin' everybody
he had ever lied to.

Hello.

'Jessie, this is J.D. talkin'.'

J.D. Hogg, you no good
ol' scallywag, what are you...

'Just hold your apples, Jessie.'

Believe me this hurts
me more than it does you.

'I'm callin' to admit
to you here and now'

that I... I pinned all 'em
gamblin' charges on you Dukes.

'That's the truth.
Pure and simple.'

The truth.

J.D., your word is
about as worthless

as a milk bucket under a bull.

I wouldn't believe you if you
swore you was tellin' a lie.

Dang it, Jessie, I was
lyin' and I'd still be lyin'

if I hadn't accidentally got
me a sh*t of that truth serum

that knucklehead Roscoe
brought back with him

from that sheriff's convention.

J.D., what are you
tryin' to pull now?

I did it so I wouldn't
lose my % interest

them gamblers
from Atlanta gave me

for turnin' the ol' Livery
stable into a casino.

Would you put that in writin'?

Well, you get here before
Rosco does and I'll do just that

but you better hurry.

'If my partners get a whiff
that I'm gonna spill the beans'

there's no tellin'
what they might do.

You stay right where
you are. I'm on my way.

I'll be there directly.

Oh. I done it. I done it.

Oh!

Boss has got hisself into
more trouble tellin' the truth

than he ever did by lyin'.

Uh, you see how..

Yes, sir, Boss was in more
trouble than the only chicken

in a barnyard when the preacher
was comin' for Sunday dinner.

That is to say. Uh,
what? What, what?

We were in the room
while you was talkin'.

- Oh, you were?
- Yeah.

Then you know
that I didn't, I mean

I didn't mean anything.

Uh, but, uh..

Now, ain't this
typical of the Dukes.

They are even goin'
to help ol' Boss out

when he's in trouble.

Not now, Flash. I
gotta find the boss.

Where in tarnation can he be?

Oh!

Ooh!

Uh, Mable, would you ring
my sister Lulu? This is Rosco.

- Hello.
- 'Lulu, this is Rosco.'

Listen, the boss wouldn't, by
chance, be back home, would he?

- Back here?
- Yeah.

That no good
brother-in-law of yours said

life with me was so dull

he looked forward
to seein' his dentist.

The reason he said that
because he took some truth serum.

Roscoe P. Coltrane, I
have two words for you.

Goodbye.

Well, she's, well,
she's just a little upset.

- Cletus?
- 'Yeah.'

I'm on my way over to the
Boar's Nest lookin' for Boss.

If he calls in, tell him where
I am or tell me where he is.

Tell you where he is first
or tell him where you're first

Exactly.

Right.

J.D.?

Hey, Boss.

Hey, J.D.

Alright, J.D., let's..

Holy Toledo!

Looks like a
tornado hit this place.

Sure does.

Somebody wasn't too pleased
about what Boss told you.

More than likely them
new partners of his.

First time Boss tells the
truth and it could do him in.

Looks like 'em boys from
Atlanta really mean business, huh?

Well, let's don't just
hang around here.

You know, they could
be hurtin' J.D. somewhere.

Let's go find him.

Uncle Jessie, he told
you where the casino is.

You don't suppose they
took care of him, do you?

Mable, this here is Luke.
Get me Cletus, will you?

Listen, Uncle Jessie,
you and Daisy find Cooter.

Check out every spot where
they might have took Boss, okay?

Me and Bo will head
over to livery stable.

- We'll catch up with you later.
- You be careful.

Yeah, Cletus, this here's Luke.

Listen, somebody grabbed Boss.

Now, we figure it must be them
gamblin' guys that he's hooked..

With Boss' life at
stake, Luke called Cletus

to alert Rosco about
Boss' disappearance..

- Let's go.
- Alright.

While Lacey was makin' plans

for ol' Boss' very short future.

As soon as it gets a little dark

you boys dress him
up nice and warm

in a cement overcoat and
drop him in Sunset Lake.

We'll fit him right up.

'This is Deputy Cletus
callin' Sheriff Coltrane. Over.'

Cletus, this is your
superior officer.

Uh, have you heard from
the boss? Come back.

That's negatory, but I
did hear from the Dukes.

Luke said he thinks them
gamblers kidnapped him.

Cletus, that's a
bunch of hogwash.

He-he's just makin' up
an alibi to cover up the fact

that the Dukes kidnapped
Boss in the first place.

Why would they do that?

Because there is no
antidote for that truth serum

and it's about to wear off
and Boss is due to testify

against 'em to the State
Gamblin' Commission.

Now, knock off the chatter
and keep an eye out for Boss.

Fine. Where do
you wanna look first?

Where ever the
Dukes are, you dipstick.

Now, time was
runnin' out for Boss

and the truth serum
at the same speed.

So Bo and Luke really had
their work cut out for 'em.

- Let's go.
- Yeah.

- Hey, you, hold it there.
- Glad to.

What d'ya think you're doin'?

Well, I'm lookin' for somebody.

Here he is now.

I'd like you to
meet my cousin bro.

Argh!

You know, friends and neighbors

that was a pretty
good right cross.

'There he is.'

- 'Think we should rush 'em?'
- 'No, they've got g*ns.'

'With folks around,
they wouldn't dare'

'start sh**t' at us. We
could still drop in on 'em.'

Let's do it.

But three of 'em with
g*ns, now that ain't so bad.

I reckon the boys plan
to create a distraction.

- What's that?
- I don't know.

Alright..

Alright.

Hey, what's goin' on.
Stop tearin' the place up?

Hey, break it up.

Break it up.

I never thought
the day would come

when I'd be happy
at the sight of a Duke.

They was gonna k*ll
me, you know that?

They still might if we
don't get outta here.

Oh, no. Let's go. Let's go.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

They got Hogg.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but,
yeah, but-but-but, but-but-but..

Let's go.

I don't want that double
crosser gettin' away alive.

'They're comin' after us.'

They're gonna k*ll me.
They're gonna k*ll me.

It ain't my fault. I can't
help tellin' the truth.

Uncle Jessie, Daisy, y'all
get your ears on, come back.

- I'm listenin'.
- Sure do, cousin. What's up?

We got a hold of Boss, but
the heavies are on our tail.

We can use a little help.

You pick the spot
and we'll be there.

Clover Crossin' in two minutes.

How is Clover Crossin'
in two minutes sound?

'You got it. I'm gone.'

Clover Crossin'. Last one
there buys at the Boar's Nest.

I'm takin' the
shortcut. I'm gone.

That's ten-four.

Cletus, uh, this is Rosco.
Did you hear that? Come back.

You bet, sheriff.
Loud and clear.

Well, ding-a-ring-a-ding-ding.

Clover Crossing, two minutes.

I'm gone.

How'd you suppose
that truth stuff works?

I don't know, but we
better not take no chances.

- Alright, Boss.
- What?

I got a piece of
paper and pencil.

'You have?'

Write that confession,
all those things you said

you was gonna give back.

Well, did I say anything
about a confession?

Aw, Boss. You gotta tell
the truth now, don't ya?

You know I can't help it.

Wha-what is that?

'What're they sh**t'..'

Drive it like you stole it.

Hang on.

How'd you expect me to
write if you don't drive straight.

I can't even start to
write with all these sh*ts.

This here's Clover Crossing.

And that's Jesse comin'
in from east to west.

Daisy's headin' from
the west to the east.

Rosco and Cletus are comin'
in from the south to the north.

Well, even ol' Cooter's
comin' in from somewhere.

The General and the heavies
are comin' in from north to south.

Friends, I do believe that
twains is a-fixin' to meet.

Bo, Luke. This is Sheriff
Roscoe. Now, you pull it over.

'You're under arrest
for kidnappin' Boss.'

- What?
- Ha ha.

- Give me that microphone.
- There you go, Boss.

Roscoe, you knucklehead. Listen.

Them Duke boys are only
tryin' to help me escape

from the K*llers who are
comin' up from behind.

So get out of the way, will you?

'Oh!'

Yeah. Well, I knew I
chose this road for a reason.

'Rosco ain't the
only gip in a road.'

- Hang on.
- Ya-a-a!

'Yee..'

'Yee-haw.'

You in one piece there, Boss?

Yeah.

You can't say when
the Dukes set out

to bring everybody together

that they don't bring
everybody together.

And you don't have to wait
no half hour for a tow-truck.

Boss got off the hook
by turnin' state's witness

against them gamblers.

But really stirred
up a hornet's nest

about his last year's taxes
and the years before that.

Now, where there's
fire, there's smoke.

The Dukes found Lacey's
cashbox and gave all the money

to the orphan's fund.

And to celebrate,
they had a barbecue.

Now, friends. You
do tend to eat hearty

when you put in the kind
of days that they have

in Hazzard county.