07x07 - Cool Hands, Luke & Bo

[bunniefuu]

'Yee-haw!'

Now, we're goin'
through a no man's land.

A road between Hazzard
and Osage County.

Osage is so bad that
they once plowed it under

and planted it in salt.

The folks there just
love the improvement.

You sure you got them
probation papers? Huh?

Yeah, they're signed by
Boss. They're all legal-like.

We got permission to
go into Osage County.

I wish they would've sent
somebody else to go get 'em.

Only way the kids from orphanage
are gonna get to Four-H camp

is if we go pick 'em up, right?

- Yeah.
- Well, let's do it.

Yeah, I guess we
can't let the kids down.

Oh, great.

There he is, old Droopy
Cathcarte himself.

- I told ya I had a feeling.
- Now, just be cool.

Don't give him any
reason to arrest us.

Folks passing through
Osage best keep on passin'

'cause it's patrolled by
Sheriff R.P. Cathcarte.

Now, most folks call him Droopy

cause he resembles a bloodhound.

Now, a few years ago,
Osage had a big prison reform.

They installed chain gangs.

This is Sheriff Cathcarte

calling Mr. Claibourne.
Come back, sir.

Now, that there's Colonel
Cassius B. Claibourne himself.

The most feared county
boss in all the South.

He runs Osage 'cause he owns it.

Now, he's lookin' to take
Hazzard away from ol' Boss.

Droopy?

You spot them Duke boys yet?

'I'm on their tail.'

Good huntin'. Out.

Why the Duke boys?

They're the first
step in my plan

to bring Boss Hogg to his knees.

I don't see how that's gonna
smoke out Hogg. He hates them.

True, but Hazzard loves 'em,
and public pressure's gonna

drive that porky little
Hogg right into my net.

I been mappin' this
out for months.

Sounds like we're gonna
have a little fun here, don't it?

Great. He's pullin' us, Luke.
I better just pull on over.

If we run, he's gonna
arrest us for runnin'.

If we stop, he's gonna think up
some excuse to arrest us anyway.

Listen, the only place we're
safe is back in Hazzard.

- Let's get there.
- You're right. Better hang on.

Bo, we got company.

Friends, by the way
he's movin' and actin'

it ain't the first
time he's done this.

Well, well, well, well.

Well, well.

Mornin', boys.

- Mornin'.
- Mornin'.

What a nice day to be
cruisin' our back roads, huh?

Yes, sir.

That's what we
was doin', cruisin'.

Now, you wouldn't
be callin' me a liar

if I was to say you was
speedin', now would you?

'That would be
grounds for takin' you'

before Mr. Claibourne
hisself, wouldn't you say?

Uh, I-I-I'd say so.

I suppose.

I thought so. Come on.

Uh, the-the car?

Leave it.

Now, y'all have heard
of Southern hospitality.

Well, this ain't it.

- Come on.
- Hey!

- You don't have to shove.
- You shut up now.

- Bo.
- Get on in there.

Mr. Claibourne wants
to see you personally.

Go on.

Well, as I live and breathe.

The famous Duke boys.

You ain't got no call to
have us cuffed, do ya?

We ain't?

Why, son, you just broke
every vehicular law in our books.

Speedin', reckless drivin'

resistin' arrest,
evadin' an officer

'destruction of
county property.'

Back in Hazzard that'd
add up to bucks.

Now, we'll just
pay you the money.

I don't want your money, boys.

And you ain't in Hazzard.

I hereby sentence you
to two years' hard labor

on the Osage road g*ng.

- Two years?
- Hold on a second now.

- Step right on back.
- Take 'em away, Slater.

Boys..

Have a nice day.

Tell Slater to keep
a short rein on 'em.

I don't want 'em runnin'
out before I run Hogg in.

- Droopy?
- Yes, sir?

Take a look at what
I'm about to acquire.

The J.D. Hogg Still,
The Hogg Mortuary

The Boars Nest, The theater.

It's gonna be such a pleasure

takin' my ol' enemy apart
piece by a little piece.

So, Claibourne put
his plan into motion

by callin' the Hazzard
radio station, WHOGG.

This bein' Hazzard, it wasn't
long before the whole town

knew what happened
to Bo and Luke Duke.

Isn't that good news?

You mean that my sworn
enemy, Cassius Claibourne

he-he's got his hands
on the Duke boys?

- That's it.
- Oh, glory be.

Them Duke boys are gonna
be out of my hair for two years?

Hallelujah!

And just to celebrate,
I just wonder

could I've a little
piece of this pizza?

Oh, oh, oh! Little fat
muffin, you alright?

- Oh, I bet that was horrendous.
- Don't you worry, Rosco.

- I ain't mad at you.
- You ain't?

No, no. I'm so thrilled about
'em Duke boys being locked up

that I couldn't care at all

about a little thing
like a broken skull.

You boys better
get the rules straight.

Listen to me when
I'm talkin' to you.

You refer to me as "sir."
Same goes for the other guards.

Got it?

Just like in the
Marines, Slater. Sir.

Watch your mouth, Duke.

We got ways of
correcting bad attitudes.

'Just how do you go
about doing that... sir?'

Some time in solitary.

Or a few rounds
with me and my boys.

It don't usually last too long.

- I can hardly wait for that.
- 'You got somethin' to say?'

Oh, no, see, I was just
wondering if we could leave.

- Sir.
- Let me tell you somethin'.

In -odd years I been here

ain't no prisoner ever left this
road g*ng of his own free will.

Alive.

Of course, I can't
take all the credit.

Some goes to my
two hounds over there.

Come here, boys.

That's right. Get
to know these two.

They're gonna be with
us a long, long time.

Enos took it on himself
to break the awful news

to Uncle Jesse and Daisy.

It was just about the hardest
thing he had ever had to do.

Enos. Well, I thought
I heard somethin'.

Uncle Jesse, look who's here.

- Hi. How you doing?
- Hi, Daisy.

- Not too good, thanks.
- Why? What's wrong?

- Hey, Enos.
- Hey, Uncle Jesse.

Can you stay for dinner?

No, sir, Uncle Jesse,
I, I got bad news.

Bo and Luke's been taken in
Osage and put on the road g*ng.

It's all over town.

The Osage road g*ng? What for?

Must be some kind
of mistake, Daisy.

No, it's no mistake.

I know that Cassius Claibourne
and he don't make no mistakes.

Well, what does he got
against Bo and Luke?

Well, I don't know.

I mean, he's always kinda
butted heads with J.D. Hogg

but... Bo and Luke?

'What are we gonna
do, Uncle Jesse?'

Well, I'm gonna
go over there and..

Try to talk some sense
into that Cassius Claibourne.

You ain't goin' without me.

Thanks, Enos.

Daisy.

Y'all need me, now, you
know where to find me.

- Say hello to Bo and Luke.
- I'll check with you.

Takin' it off here, sir.

Takin' it off.

Looks like a good idea.

Yeah, takin' it off here, sir.

- Takin' it off.
- Takin' it off here, sir.

'Takin' it off.'

Well, it's been fun, but I
think it's time to move on.

These guards around here
don't look too bright except Slater.

Been watchin' him pretty close.

He leaves the keys in his car.

You, uh, reckon we oughta try?

Maybe we oughta think
about it a little more first.

Get a plan together. We
can take off tomorrow.

Alright.

Back at it. Back to work.

Knowin' Jesse like he did

Claibourne was
expectin' his visit

and when the Dukes came
to Osage he was ready for it.

Bo and Luke didn't do anything.

They were just pickin' up
orphans like they do every year.

They did not do one thing wrong.

"Didn't do one thing wrong."

Well, as I live and breathe

them boys have shown the most
reckless disregard for the law.

Oh, now, come on, Cassius.

We've known each other too long.

Now, tell me, what's
the real reason

you want them boys
on the chain g*ng?

I just told you.

Alright.

Alright, I'm gonna
demand a trial.

They were given due
process accordin' to the laws

of Osage County.

Now, get outta here, Jesse.

I got more important
business to take care of.

Cassius, what you're doin'
is illegal, unconstitutional

and un-American.

We got a thing in this
country called justice

and I'm gonna see that some of
it comes here to Osage County!

It's like talkin' to
a ding-dang owl.

You see, Claibourne knew
everybody would blame Boss

for not extraditing Bo and Luke

since ol' Boss was
their probation officer.

And he figured right.

Everybody in
Hazzard was ugly mad.

They was threatenin'
to boycott the Boars Nest

have a run on his bank

and not re-elect
his stooge, Rosco.

And if they could've kept
his chickens from layin'

they'd have done that too.

The answer is no.

Hello?

- Hello?
- Hello?

Hello?

It's this one.

Yeah? Look, the answer is no.

Them Duke boys can rot in..

Oh, well, well,
well, well, well.

If it ain't my public
enemy number one

the double-crossin'
Colonel Cassius Claibourne.

'Alright, what do you want?'

Well, I thought
you might like to talk

about a little deal
for the Duke boys.

Oh, well, that ain't
none of my business.

Yeah.

Well, suppose I
make it your business.

What say we trade your
prime shine contracts

for the safe return
of the Duke boys?

What? My shine contracts?

Listen, I wouldn't trade
the hair off a pig's back

for them Duke boys.
You hear me? Goodbye.

Oh!

Over in Osage, Jesse
and Daisy was fixin' to leave

when Bo and Luke returned

from their first day
on the road g*ng.

'Luke! Bo! Hey.'

'Hey, how y'all doin'?'

Daisy, you sure are
a sight for sore eyes.

- So are you.
- Boys.

Shut up, you Dukes. Get
back. This ain't visitin' day.

Get those two outside
and lock the gate.

Hey, you back off.

I just was sayin'
hello to my cousins.

We're gonna get you
outta here. Leave me alone.

- I mean it!
- Daisy, come on. Come on now.

We'll come back
another time. It's alright.

We'll get you outta
here some way, boys.

You'll be out
before you know it.

You boys bring your
cousin here on Sunday

and I'll give her a
little roughhousin'.

Slater, you said somethin'
about goin' a few rounds.

- How 'bout now?
- You bet.

Now, I'm gonna show you boys
a little somethin' about attitude.

Now, y'all may know
that social intercourse

in Osage is somewhat
lackin' in grace.

I said not to mess
with us. Get up.

That's enough,
Slater. Fight's over.

I ain't finished yet.

From the looks of
things, I'd say you were.

Now, get your shotgun before
you have a riot on your hands.

Yes, sir.

We'll finish this later.

What are you scum grinnin' at?

Go on, get on back to
the barracks right now.

Alright.

- All mouth, no punch.
- Yeah, you got that right.

Wasn't the smartest
thing we've ever done.

No, but he just fell right down.

Hey, don't go congratulatin'
yourselves too much.

Slater's really gonna
come down on you now.

But, man, that was
great while it lasted.

Thanks, Charlie.

Hey, listen, Don't you
worry about us none either.

We got relatives,
gonna get us outta here.

We ain't done nothin' wrong.

Well, everybody here is
here under false charges

and not likely to
get out neither.

Come on, Charlie, Claibourne
can't keep you in here forever.

He can and he does.

Every time one of us
comes up for parole

he thinks of some new
excuse to tack on more time.

I been here six years.

Well, sh**t, Charlie,
what'd you do?

Jaywalkin'.

You're kiddin'.

I think me and Bo are gonna
cut our stay a little short.

Oh.

You two got an escape plan?

No, but, well, sh**t, we oughta
be able to think of somethin'.

Yeah. Well, you
only get one chance.

Why is that?

'Cause the second time,
you don't come back... alive.

Though all of Hazzard was
rallyin' to the Dukes' side

Boss wasn't givin' in.

Things were so
bad for Bo and Luke

that Daisy and Jesse had to
come to make a personal plea.

And that took
swallowin' years of pride.

Boss? Alright, Boss.

Oh, oh. This is the last straw.
What do you Dukes want?

You know exactly what we want.

We want you to do
something about Bo and Luke.

Listen J.D, we've known
each other since we were kids

and I've never asked
you for one thing

so you know how
important this is to me.

We've gotta do somethin'
about them boys.

It ain't that I don't
wanna help you Jesse.

- It's just that I can't.
- He can't.

You see, Cassius Claibourne
is a sworn enemy of mine.

I-I ain't even talked
to him in years.

That's a little white lie.

Remember, you talked to
him just a little while ago?

- He told you to make a deal...
- Would you please..

- A deal?
- Wait a minute.

You made a deal with
Claibourne for Bo and Luke?

No, no, no, no deal.

Never no deal. It
was more like a trade.

- What kind of a trade?
- A what?

- Well, um, uh..
- More of a swap.

J.D.!

Sugar lumps, what
are you doin' here?

- You're not at the fat farm?
- I cut my visit short.

Yeah, well-well-well, how
did you do up there anyhow?

Well, I only gained pounds.

- 'Only pounds?'
- 'Oh, goody, goody gumdrops.'

That's better than last
time. You gained .

- And then she bribed the guard.
- Huh?

I came when I heard
about Bo and Luke.

Now, now, now, angel food...

Don't you angel food
me, Jefferson Davis Hogg.

You know I love those boys.

Now, you gotta get
them back or else..

Or else what?

Or else no more
cookin', no more cleanin'

and no more
separate refrigerators.

Gak, gak, gak.

Alright, Rosco..

Where the townspeople
and the Dukes had failed

Lulu prevailed.

Boss knuckled under and
agreed to meet Claibourne

at the county line and
give up his shine contracts.

This is the worst
day of my life.

I'm gonna have to pay to
get them Duke boys back

from Cassius Claibourne.

I know it. You know, he's
got that lean, mean look.

- So I don't trust him one bit.
- Oh, yeah?

Only people I trust are fat,
roly-poly buddies like you.

Get your hands off of me.

If it hadn't been for you and
your sister in the first place..

Your wife.

I wouldn't be here with these
contracts in the second place.

- Good grief.
- Come on, come on, let's go.

- Well, well, well
and well, - Yeah.

Look at that. There's
the General Lee.

'There's the Duke boys,
alright. They don't look so good.'

Well, let's go over there...

- What, what?
- What are you doin'?

- What?
- Don't step over that line.

- Oh, good grief.
- Oh, for goodness' sakes.

- Do you think it's a trap?
- I don't know what it is.

I ain't gonna take a
step in Osage County

- I know that.
- Me neither.

I mean, after all..

'...I don't see Cassius
Claibourne no place.'

- You know I was just thinkin'.
- What?

If I was to tippytoe over there
and get those Dukes, then you..

Wouldn't have to give up these
here shine contracts, would I?

No, no, no.

- I don't know about it, though.
- What?

Well, we'd have
to go awful quick.

Well, listen, we could do that

because there ain't nobody
within a quarter of a mile

because I got eyes like a hawk.

- You do, huh?
- Yeah. Police trainin'.

- Yeah. Whatever you say.
- Yeah.

Alright, I'm willin'
to take a chance.

- An itty-bitty little one.
- Little bitty.

Get ready, Droopy.

- Come on. Come on.
- Come on, Bo, come on.

I'll help you out.

- Oh.
- Oh.

Get 'em, Droopy.

- It's a dummy.
- Yeah and so are we.

Come on, we gotta run.

Arrest Hogg for
loitering and trespassing.

Hello, Cassius.

Mr. Claibourne to you, Hogg.

Mr. Claibourne. Oh,
say, here. Lookie here.

These are the shine contracts.

Now, then, if you'll just
release the real Duke boys

like you promised, the
sheriff and I will be on our way.

You're already on your way, J.D

to the Osage road g*ng.

Uh, road g*ng?

Oh! Road g*ng?
Well, t-take tubby here.

He needs the
exercise. I'll just..

Oh, listen, do you know to
whom you're pointing that?

Listen, it so happens that
I am Rosco P. Coltrane.

I'm the sheriff and
you can't arrest me.

I know.

We're arrestin' you
for impersonatin'

an officer of the law.

This is our county. We
can do whatever we like.

- Come on.
- Yeah, but... it was your fault.

Well, it looks like
old Claibourne's fixin'

to gobble up Hazzard
like a country Pacman.

While back at the prison,
Duke luck was holdin' firm.

You guys got your
plan worked out, huh?

Yeah, just about.

We're gonna need you and
your guys to create a diversion.

And why should we help you?

As soon as we're out, we're
gonna come and pick y'all up.

That's why.

- We'll do what we can.
- Alright.

'Lasagna. Thank you.'

- Just in time for... Ow!
- Argh! Would you stop it.

'Stop pullin' on me. You're
draggin' off my ankle bone.'

Them voices sound familiar.

- Get on out there.
- Stop.

Faces look familiar too. I
just can't place the uniform.

Boss, you want a
hand with that anchor?

Huh? Oh, you stay
away from me, Luke Duke.

Rosco and me wouldn't
be here, in the first place

except on account of you
two miserable troublemakers.

- 'Yeah.'
- Suit yourself.

- 'You smell that?'
- What?

- Food. Food.
- Beans.

- Give me that. Give me some.
- Oh, look at those.

Look at those little beans,
just hoppin' for joy in that..

Mr. Claibourne's orders.
You're goin' on a diet.

A diet? Oh, no, he
can't do that to me.

- Rosco, give me your plate.
- No.

- Come on, give me that.
- These are mine.

Oop!

'Come on, you dodo..'

You know, that ball and
chain might come in handy.

'Rosco, come on.'

Back in Hazzard, news
of Boss and Rosco's arrest

spread like wildfire.

Jesse and Daisy hightailed
it over to Lulu's house.

They knew that
she'd need company.

Listen, I'm tryin' to
be brave, honest I am

but every time I, I think
of my poor Jefferson

and my little baby brother

witherin' away on a chain
g*ng I just come apart.

'They're not used to
laboring, you know.'

Neither one of 'em has ever
done a day's work in their lives.

Now, Lulu, you can't
be imaginin' the worst.

Bo and Luke are
there to help 'em.

Daisy, I just feel so helpless.

Jesse, ain't there
nothin' we can do?

Uh, oh, well, yeah, uh

uh, I've got a call in to
Congressman Ezra Fulton.

I've known him
since he was a kid.

I-I don't like bringin'
strangers into family business

but this is gettin' to be
more than we can handle.

- Uh, do you mind?
- No.

Uh, hello, Gussie?
This is Jesse Duke.

I'm over at J.D. Hogg's place.

Listen, would you try
to get that Ezra Fulton

'for me again in
Washington, D.C.?'

Well, Jesse finally reached
the congressman this time

and he told him to get
down to Capital City

and pick up a release
order from the federal judge.

And that's where they're headed.

Meanwhile, back on
the Osage road g*ng

Luke had figured out a
way to use Boss and Rosco's

ball and chain in
his escape plan.

Boss.

- Oh, that's good.
- Hey, wait a minute.

Oh, this slop, it
ain't fit for pigs.

Oh, well, listen, uh, there's
a little boll weevil in mine.

- He's havin' a good time.
- Look at that.

- That's terrible.
- Look at that.

- Oh, watch it.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

'Did that hurt?'

What's goin' on here?

Get there. Get
over here with those.

Get back. Get back here.

Droopy, come in..

While Slater was radioin'
Droopy Cathcarte for help

Jesse and Daisy was
headin' toward Osage

with the release order.

Let me see it just once more.

There it is.

Thank goodness.

He ain't never gonna
catch us in that old thing.

Yeah, but look up there.

Oh, terrific.

Luke, he's gainin' on us.

This thing ain't
runnin' worth anythin'.

Come on, car.

Alright, get ready to jump.

- Jump?
- Ready?

- Alright.
- Two, three.

Come on, boy. Let's
find those Dukes.

Them dogs is useless.

They went that way.

Jesse and Daisy got to
the prison in record time.

So fast in fact that they
got there ahead of the news

that Bo and Luke had escaped.

We got here a court order
for the release of Bo, Luke

J.D. and Rosco.

Too bad you done this.

As you know, I ain't
somebody you wanna rile up.

We ain't afraid of
you, Mr. Claibourne.

You just let our guys
go, like the order says.

'Mr. Claibourne, Droopy
here. I got a - , come back.'

Claibourne. What's wrong?

We got a prison break.
Uh, them Duke boys.

'I'm on their tail.'

'What about Hogg
and his dippy sheriff?'

Secure.

They was aidin'
and abettin', though.

Go get 'em.

Now, ain't that a pity.

This here order ain't worth
the paper it's written on.

Uh, but you..

'Especially when we
got escaped convicts.'

You gonna be
lucky if my deputies

don't sh**t your nephews
on sight, Jesse Duke.

Why do you suppose they
call them bloodhounds?

I ain't lookin' to find out.

- They are persistent, though.
- Yeah.

Did you bring the pepper?

I thought you were
gonna bring the pepper.

You are a big help.

Look, you said you was
gonna bring the pepper.

'You know, they say bloodhounds
can't track through water.'

- Come on.
- Water?

I'm gonna enjoy watchin'
them dogs flappin'

around the water
wonderin' where we are.

'There they are.'

Get in. Come on.

They're going.

Alright.

- It worked.
- Yeah, like a charm.

- Good work.
- Let's head towards home.

Looks like this is one
bloodhound they didn't fool.

Did you have a nice swim?

Yes, sir.

Come on.

What we got here..

Is a failure to demonstrate

a good attitude.

Now, you two boys
made a bad mistake

tryin' to run out on me.

The only mistake we
made was gettin' caught.

And we don't intend
on makin' that one again.

Is that so?

Maybe a little time in solitary

would help you see
the error of your ways.

'No food for
hours. Lock 'em up.'

My pleasure, Mr. Claibourne.

Make sure, you get
the one with the view.

- See you in the mornin'.
- I'm goin', Slater.

During the time the
boys was in solitary

Boss got fed up with
his three-bean treatment

and demanded to see Claibourne

which was just what old
Cassius was awaitin' for.

I mean, my death is gonna be
on your hands, you hear that?

I'm weak from hunger.
Those three-bean meals.

Oh, I feel like I ought
to just curl up right here.

'You see? He's got a
vapor lock from hunger.'

'Me too.'

Ooh. Ooh, gee, Boss..

Oh, ho ho ho. Look, look, look.

- I'm saved.
- He's saved.

Oh, thank you, thank
you. I'll have some.

- J.D.
- What? What?

Would you take them
tender, juicy barbecued ribs?

I will, I will!

In trade for your
used-car dealership?

My used-car dealership?

For ribs?

Well, maybe. Yeah, I'll trade.

- Where do I sign?
- Where does he sign?

- Yeah.
- Right there.

Oh, right. "J.D. Hogg."

- Oh, ribs, ribs.
- I'm gonna be his cosigner.

Give me some of them.

J.D..

Since you seem to be enjoyin'

them tender, juicy
barbecued ribs so much

maybe you'd like to try

some of my succulent
Southern fried chicken?

'Oh, is there chicken too?'

Cooked the way you like it.

- Greasy.
- Oh, chicken.

- No, no.
- In trade..

In trade for the Boars Nest.

Oh, my Boars Nest for chicken?

Yeah, I'll trade.
Where-where do I sign?

Right here.

Listen. Uh, listen, sir, I have
$ . in my savings account.

Now, you can have all of
that for one little piece of..

J.D..

I think since you've enjoyed
this marvelous meal so much

that you ought to top it off

with one of my delicious, moist

chocolate layer cakes.

Oh, cake? Is there
cake for dessert?

- It's my favorite.
- I'll have some.

Bring it on, bring it on.

'In trade for the Hazzard Bank.'

Hazzard Bank?

'Not on your life.'

Uh..

But... for cake.

Yeah, yeah, I'll trade.
Where do I sign?

"J.D. Hogg." Now,
give me the cake.

Next mornin', the boys
crawled out of solitary

all bright eyed
and bushy tailed.

That wasn't so bad.

No.

No, it wasn't.

Howdy.

Morning, gentlemen.

- The response is deafenin'.
- Somethin' we said?

Uh, don't mind them.
Just a little upset.

When you guys didn't
make it, they felt let down.

You know, they, they pinned
their hopes on you guys.

Look, just 'cause
we didn't make it

don't mean we ain't
gonna try it again.

Uh, nobody ever comes
out of even one day of solitary

quite the way they went in.

Well, you got
that right, Charlie.

It did give us a whole bunch
of time to think of another plan.

Mmm-hm.

What's that?

- Excuse me, Charlie.
- Boss?

Hey, Rosco. What's
the matter with Boss?

Well, it's called
gluttonousness, greediness.

He nearly ate himself to death.

Oh, my stomach. I'm dyin'.

'I'll trade my beautiful
white convertible car'

for bicarbonate of soda.

You ain't got no white
convertible car no more.

You traded it for that anchovy
and pepperoni garlic pizza.

I know.

Rosco, what have
you two been up to?

Well, it ain't me. It's
old greed gut here.

He traded half of Hazzard
County for just one meal.

Oh, that's crazy.

Yeah, but it was a
delicious meal. Ow!

Well, I can only take
your word for that, can't I?

Because I didn't get
one little eeny-teeny bite.

Don't worry, y'all. We'll feel
better once we get outta here.

Well, folks, "Sunday
come-a-visiting day"

finally did come.

And Uncle Jesse, Daisy and
Lulu were first through the gates

with a cornucopia
of country cookin'.

Guess we can't touch each other.

I can give you a kiss.

Are you alright?

We're sorry, Uncle Jesse, Daisy.

Sorry? Not half
as sorry as we are.

You know, we came here
with the papers for your release

'and then found
out you'd escaped?'

- You had a court order?
- 'That's right.'

Dang it, we had
no way of knowin'.

Listen, ya'll, it's
nobody's fault.

We'll just have to
think of somethin' else.

Daisy's right. We
gotta think positive.

But no more escapin'.

'I'd rather have
you in here alive'

than along the road out
there somewhere dead.

Uncle Jesse, you see
that fellow over there?

Well, he's been in here
for six years for jaywalkin'.

Claibourne ain't
ever gonna let us out.

Hey, Bo, it just occurred to me,
but what did Rosco just tell us?

Well, that Boss Hogg
gave up half his holdings

to Claibourne to feed his face.

Claibourne just got us here
to use us as bait to get to Boss.

'And now that we've messed
up that escape attempt'

he got no reason to let us go.

The only way we're gonna get
out is to bust this place wide open.

Well, uh, better
look like you're eatin'.

They're beginnin' to watch us.

What have you got in mind?

Y'all think you can
break the General Lee

out of the impound yard?

You got it.

I declare, Jefferson,
you look like you've put on

about pounds
since you got here.

Well, that's just
about half of it.

- Here, listen, I want a half...
- Would you hush up, please?

It's my stomach. I
say, I'm feelin' poorly.

Uh, you didn't bring any
bicarbonate of soda, did you?

- Listen, I just can't wait.
- 'Not that one, Rosco.'

I just can't..

Whoa.

'Whoa.'

- Alright, don't anybody move.
- Why, that's a..

Lady, that's the dumbest thing
I ever saw. Put 'em in solitary.

- Not me.
- No, listen..

I didn't have
nothin' to do with it.

- I'm innocent.
- I'm with him.

I don't wanna go in there.

Alright, visitin' day's
over. Everybody inside.

This is gonna change
our plans some.

Yeah.

Y'all gonna be
alright. You got it?

- Yeah, see you later.
- Wanna take some chicken?

No, we better not.

- I didn't bring that stuff.
- Got room service in here?

You couldn't bring
me a bicarb, could ya?

- There it is.
- There's the car.'

And so next day, Jesse and Lulu

started on the first
steps of Luke's plan.

Robert, we wanna
talk to you a minute.

And sweet Daisy
was set to do her part

liberatin' the General.

You don't have my car here?

'No, I've it here,
but Mr. Claibourne'

'won't let you have that car.'

'Well, now, we
need a whole lot of... '

Now, if I was anybody
standin' around

I wouldn't wanna be
standin' in front of Daisy

long about now.

Woo!

At the prison, Bo and Luke
got set for the big breakout.

While Daisy was
keepin' on, keepin' on.

- You see her?
- 'Yeah.'

Hi, there.

Hi, there yourself,
miss. Can we help you?

I certainly hope so.

- See, I love men in uniform.
- Is that right?

Mm-hm. My only problem
is you're both so adorable

I can't make up my mind
between the two of you.

- Ha. Come on.
- It's true.

Listen, I'll tell you what.

Why don't I read your palm?

It tells a lot about
a man, you know.

You just set those
nasty shotguns down

and put your arms through here.

Oh, this will be fun.

That's it, give me your hands.

Alright, she's all
set. Let her rip, boys.

Don't worry, fellas. You
both have very long lifelines.

Alright, what do you
think you're doin' here?

Give me them keys, pal.

- Take him down.
- Get him.

Are we ready, let's go.

'Let's go. Go, go, go.'

Let's go. Go.

Alright, get in the
truck, in the truck.

Get you outta there
in a second, Boss.

Alright, Bo, let's go.

Bo! Never figured I'd be so
glad to see somebody like you!

Slater! Get us
loose here, Slater!

Get us outta here!

We got cuffs on.
Get us out of here.

'Slater. Come on, will you?'

'Slater! Get us outta here.'

'What are they stoppin' for?'

'We ain't safe until we're over
the line in Hazzard County.'

- Hey.
- Boy, am I glad to see you.

Uncle Jesse's
waitin' at county line.

Let's go.

I wonder if we got time
to stop for a corn dog.

Oh, would you hush up?

We'll see you in Hazzard, Bo.

Yeah, - .

'Oh, great.'

Hey, Luke, guess what.
We got us some company.

'This old truck's
givin' me all she's got.'

I know. Just keep her
steady I'll try and hold him off.

Well, don't you just know
Slater CB'd old Droopy

and the colonel to come help.

If the Hazzard folks
get back over the line

it could be real serious
for Colonel Claibourne.

It didn't take old Droopy long
to catch up with the caravan.

I hope the Dukes got a
plan for this turn of events.

'Droopy's comin'.'

I see him. It's
time to split up.

That's a big - .
I'll stick to the road.

- Where we goin'?
- The scenic route. Hang on.

Guys, you better
give 'em all you got.

'I can't hold 'em off anymore.'

Them boys tryin' to
hurt us bad, Droopy.

Don't worry about it,
Mr. Claibourne. We'll get them.

Well, they should be
along here pretty directly.

Oh, Jesse. Lord have
mercy. I hope they're alright.

Oh, they'll be fine.

Listen, you don't come
out of one of those places

without a few bruises.

I'm just worried sick.

Quit worrying, they'll be..

Now you got me worried.

- They gonna get away!
- No, they ain't.

Looks like the old bloodhound
got snared in his own trap.

Lulu! Lulu!

Hurry, hurry. Come on, come on.

- Welcome to Hazzard County.
- You're on our side now.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

Now, J.D...

Listen, you call me
Mr. Hogg, you hear?

- Yes, sir, Mr. Hogg.
- That's better.

You can't arrest me.
I'm an officer of the law.

Oh, tish-tosh, tilly-walker,
I can do anything I want.

See, this is my county now.

And while you're at it,
give them Dukes a ticket

for disturbin' the peace
speedin', through Hazzard County

and everything
else you can think of.

Boy, things don't change
much around here, do they?

Things got back to normal
in Hazzard in short order.

Boss got all of his businesses
back and he was lookin' forward

to some of Lulu's
fine home cooking.

Yeah, I can't wait.

But Lulu figured
that it was time

that old Boss lost some
weight that he'd gained in prison.

On account of the
Dukes, an investigation

freed all the prisoners who
were in on false charges.

Now, that closed the
Osage road prison forever.

It was renovated and reopened
as an orphan's farm camp.

You see, folks around Hazzard

don't like to see
nothin' go to waste.