07x15 - Strange Visitor to Hazzard

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Dukes of Hazzard". Aired: January 26, 1979 – February 8, 1985.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


Cousins Bo and Luke certainly have a way of finding trouble with the law everywhere they turn.
Post Reply

07x15 - Strange Visitor to Hazzard

Post by bunniefuu »

- 'Yee-haw!'
- 'Yee-haw!'

'And now, folks, a WHOGG
special news bulletin.'

'The flying saucer scare in
Hazzard County continues'

'with three more
UFOs being sighted.'

'Jed Barton said he's seen
one over his south pasture'

'and Zeke Ferris claims he
fired a sh*t at one of them'

'coming down over
his chicken coop.'

'Sheriff Coltrane
asked me, Elton Loggin'

'to remind you all not
to panic. And now... '

Now, Daisy, don't panic.

I'm not panicking, but I think
there is something to this.

Oh, come on.

In Hazzard, lots of weird
things have happened.

From Sy Erzo's two-headed calf

to widow Barlow's
second marriage.

But lately, folks are seeing
weird things in the sky..

Even them that ain't
drinking moonshine.

'Breaker. Breaker.'

'This is Clyde Berney
over in Hatchapee.'

'I seen one. It just flew
right over my head.'

It was one of them
dag-blasted flying saucers.

Holy smoke, he sounds excited.

'I seen one, flew
right over my head.'

Bo, this isn't funny.

Clyde, this is Luke
Duke. Just take it easy.

Don't go running off
the road or nothing.

Is that you, Luke? I seen one.

I tell ya, I seen one.

It was round and shiny,
and give off this awful light.

Hey, Clyde. This here's Bo Duke.

Tell me something,
would you? Is it still there?

No, it's gone, but
I'm still shaking.

Bo, I don't.. Now,
come on, now, fellas.

Listen, Clyde,
just take it easy.

- And drive on home.
- Yeah.

Get your wife to brew
you some black coffee.

Lots of it.

I'm gonna drink something
stronger than that.

Done and gone.

'Sounds like he's had a whole
lot stronger than that already.'

I don't agree with y'all.

A lot of people have been
seeing flying saucers as of late.

- Daisy, come on.
- Who knows?

They can't all be drinking, Bo.

Daisy, I enjoy science
fiction as much as the next guy

but you don't really believe
in flying saucers, do you?

I'll tell you something,
Luke. Anything is possible.

The Dukes were in
for a little surprise.

They were on the
same road as Clyde.

Bo!

Look out..

Oh!

He looks like he's alright.

Yeah, looks like he's been
doing a little flying all on his own.

You got any questions, Daisy?

- Yeah.
- Hm?

Drive.

Come on.

The next morning,
however, right before dawn

Enos was returning
from a night patrol

when he was passing Skunk Hollow

and a most amazing
thing happened.

What in the world?

Breaker, breaker. Alarm!

This is, this is Deputy
Enos Strate reporting.

I just spotted a UFO.

A flying saucer has
landed in Skunk Hollow.

Alarm! Alarm!

It's a slying faucer.
I-I mean, flying saucer.

I gotta report it.

I gotta report it.

A UFO.

'I called this town
meeting of Hazzard County'

'to come together because
we got an empty treasury.

So I hereby call
the meeting to order.

Now, then. Here's the problem.

Uh, we dipped into the
cookie jar once too often.

- Yep.
- Now, we gotta fill it up.

- Fill it up.
- So we gotta think of a scheme

that'll bring in some
real big money.

While Boss and Rosco
was handling affairs of state

over breakfast, the
Dukes had to come to town

for their store bought staples.

Y'all hear the morning
news on the radio?

- No.
- What's that?

Three more UFO sightings
in the Hazzard area.

Folks are really getting
carried away, ain't they?

Yeah, it's a regular
epidemic, ain't it?

I still think where there's
smoke, there's fire.

Oh, maybe some
beings from outer space

are trying to get hold of us.

Uh-huh.

Well, they're gonna
get a strange impression

of humanity if they
stop in Hazzard County.

Well, they probably heard about
the big dance Saturday night.

They're probably
just small-planet folks.

They're coming to the
dance to do the moonwalk.

UFO in Skunk Hollow!

Oh, Enos. Not you too.

UFO in Skunk Hollow!
Did y'all hear me?

Settle down, Enos.

What did you see?

It landed right in front of me,
Cooter. A big flying saucer.

'I gotta tell the sheriff.'

Take it easy, Enos.
Just calm down.

What did the darn
thing look like?

It was big, a-and it
gave off this awful light.

And it sounded like a
hundred milking machines

going lickety-split.

I gotta tell Sheriff
Rosco and Mr. Hogg.

Watch your head, Enos.

Sheriff Rosco and Hogg.

Now, we all know
Enos doesn't drink

so he must've really seen one.

Oh, Daisy, come on.

Yeah. I'll believe it when I
see it, and I ain't seen it yet.

Enos didn't see nothing.
He's just that way.

Mr. Hogg, excuse me
for busting in like this

but I gotta make a report.

A flying saucer just
landed in Skunk Hollow.

What, what, what, what?

- In Skunk Hollow?
- Yes, sir, a flying saucer.

I saw it while coming
back from night patrol

it came down in the
meadow right in front of me.

- Oh..
- Wait a minute.

Enos, you mean you actually
saw a flying saucer land?

- In Skunk Hollow?
- I didn't exactly see it.

The light blinded me,
but I heard it, and I felt it.

- You heard it and felt it?
- I heard and felt it.

In Skunk Hollow? Oh,
Enos, I don't believe that.

Wait a minute,
would you, please?

Now, you saw a flying
saucer land in Skunk Hollow?

Yes, sir. Yes.

Will you swear to that in
front of anybody at any time?

- Yes, sir, of course.
- Good.

Boss, you gonna believe that?

No, no, no. Wait a
minute. E-Enos, s-sit down.

- Have some breakfast.
- Rosco, come on.

You and I, we got some
important work to do.

- Wait, where?
- Come on. Come on.

'Here we go.'

Oh!

Oh.

You know, Boss, I hate to say it

but I think you've lost a
shingle off your chrome dome.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

You've always told me there's
no such thing as a flying saucer.

Yeah, well, I know it,
Rosco, and you know it too..

But Enos Strate just claimed

he's seen one land in
Skunk Hollow, ain't he?

Yeah, yeah.

And I'll bet my
bunions that most folks

are ready to believe there
are flying saucers out there.

So I'm ready to give 'em one.

Oh, I get it.

That's why we're on our
way to Skunk Hollow, huh?

I'm gonna declare the
place a national monument.

The first flying saucer
landing site there's ever been.

But no flying saucer ever
landed in Skunk Hollow.

It stinks out there.

After we finish fixin' it up,
it'll look like landed there.

And with an honest soul
like Enos Strate swearing

that one did land,
we're home free.

We're gonna sell tickets and
everything else we can think of

to the darn place.
We'll make millions!

- 'Millions!'
- Millions!

Just money, money. I love money.

Would you stop drooling
and keep driving?

Skunk Hollow, here we come.

Skunk Hollow was a
busy place that day.

Unfortunately, two big-time
hoods was on the run

for holding up a church
bingo game over in Greenville..

And they happened
to land there too.

Ah, this ain't bad.

- Get that beer, Buck.
- Yeah, yeah.

'This is alright.'

- Think so?
- Whoo, I don't know.

Huh. Hey, we hadn't had
any sleep for hours.

Yeah.

Well, the law will never find
us out here in the boondocks.

Let's get us some shuteye.

Yeah, we'll put that down here.

Whoo.

For all y'all that don't
believe in UFOs..

Or ain't decided yet

this is the best chance
you're ever gonna get.

Stop sh**ting up
the landscape, boy.

That possum ain't
gonna turn us in.

Ah, my nerves are sh*t.

Oh, I just gotta get some sleep.

Meanwhile, Daisy and the boys
heading home with the groceries

made a stop on the way.

Huh! Huh, huh!

Take it easy, don't go
sh**ting up the county this time.

- Here we are.
- Yeah.

Skunk Hollow.

Daisy, you don't see any
flying saucers around, do you?

No.

Maybe they just stopped
for the crab apples.

Yeah, maybe.

As long as we're here,
why don't we stop for some?

- Wanna pick a few?
- You'll bake a crab apple pie?

You bake a pie,
we pick the apples.

Maybe if you stop
teasing me about Martians

I'll think about it, alright?

Alright. We'll pick 'em all day.

- I'll get a couple sacks.
- Come on, let's go.

Whoa, well, don't step on them.

- Give me a sack.
- There you go. Look at this.

Well, these things
aren't big enough.

Yeah, we pick all these
up, we'll have apples...

Maybe, you can make some jelly.

- You want some?
- Yeah, I'd love some jelly.

'These down here
look pretty darn good.'

'Uh, don't fall.'

Well, Boss, here we
are in Skunk Hollow.

Skunk Hollow.

This is soon gonna be
the most famous place..

Where a flying
saucer ever landed.

It will be.

Oh, no. Wait a
minute, wait a minute.

What are the dang
Dukes doing here?

Oh, gosh, doggone, they're
gonna spoil everything.

- Yeah.
- Oh, Lord. Guess what.

'Get 'em. That's
it. Right up there.'

Alright.

Alright, you Dukes.

Okay, you're under arrest for
trespassing on county property.

That'll be days or bucks.

Country pro... Rosco, what
the heck are you talking about?

Yeah, this ain't
county property.

- This is Skunk Hollow.
- Yeah.

Well, it was declared
county property two hours ago

and you are trespassing.

So pay up or into
the clink you go.

You guys are crazy.
We ain't paying a dime.

- No.
- Shame, shame.

Then, I'm gonna
cuff ya and stuff ya

and then I'm gonna
confiscate those crab apples.

Rosco, you want the crab apple?

- No, but he does.
- Here you go, Boss.

Let's give him the crab apples.

- Rosco!
- Come back here!

You can't get away with this.

You just crab-appled
a county official.

- There they go.
- Well, there they go.

- Nice work, Rosco.
- Yeah.

Now, I tell you what.

Let's chase 'em to make
sure they never come back.

That's right. Proceed.

I'll tell you police
work is my life.

Boy, we sure picked
a great hideout.

There's more traffic here
than downtown Atlanta.

Yeah.

- He's gonna pay!
- Now, give it to 'em.

Fifty dollars or fifty days
for picking wild crab apples?

I'll tell ya, Boss and Rosco
are just getting more ridiculous.

Whoever's driving, you
better step on it, coz.

I got just the spot to lose 'em.

Cross your fingers. Hang on.

You gotta feel
kinda sorry for him.

He figures the whole
planet is like Hazzard.

Good work. Good work,
Rosco. You chased them away.

Yeah, when Rosco P.
Coltrane chases them

they don't never come back.

Alright, now, now, now. We
gotta get back to Skunk Hollow.

We gotta lot of work to do.

- Come on.
- Oh, good.

Well, will you look at this?

They're heading
back to Skunk Hollow.

Uh, our apple picking
didn't bother them none.

They just don't want us
around Skunk Hollow at all.

Why don't we drop these
groceries off at the farm

check in with Uncle Jesse,
then we'll go snoop around a bit?

- Good idea.
- Yeah.

Here we are. Back
in Skunk Hollow.

Just like I wanted to be.

Good old Skunk Hollow.

'Yeah. Now, then, Rosco..'

we'll make this place look
like a flying saucer landed.

- Oh, how we gonna do that?
- Well, I'll tell ya.

I'm gonna make some
strange marks on the ground

with these here tools.

You're gonna take
this here keg of powder

and you'll start dribbling it
on the ground in a big circle.

- I dribble.
- Yeah.

Then, you'll light it,
and it'll burn and burn.

Look like the
spaceship's engines did it.

Oh, you know what,
everybody'll think

those kooky, little
creatures from outer space

landed right here
in Skunk Hollow.

Skunk Hollow will be famous.

Like the Seven
Wonders of the World.

People will come from the
four corners of the Earth.

- Or even further.
- Even further!

To buy a ticket
just to get a look.

'We can sell flying
saucer T-shirts.'

- Space beanies.
- Space beanies.

A-a-and, and then we can sell
"I Love Skunk Hollow" buttons.

- Perfect.
- Oh, we'll be rich, rich, rich.

'Or richer, richer, richer.'

'Or even rich, rich, richer.'

Alright, stop counting your
money and start dribbling.

- Alright.
- Come on, let's get going.

How about that?

The sheriff and that fatty

are nothing but a couple
of local scam merchants.

And what a scam.

Them two rubes are faking
a flying saucer landing.

- Oh, this is marvy.
- Alright.

That's gonna
fool 'em, I tell ya.

I tell you, that'll be good.

Buck... I just got me an idea.

It'll make us a k*lling

and give us a couple of
laughs at the same time.

We'll out-scam the scammers.

Well, wait a minute, Mickey.
We're supposed to be laying low.

This is too good to miss.

All we gotta do is
make those local yokels

think that an army of space
monsters got out of that saucer

and are gonna att*ck the town.

- What good will that do us?
- Don't you see?

Them rubes will run for
the hills, all we gotta do

is just walk into that
hick town and rip it off.

We'll take them for
everything they got.

Oh-h.

Well, this is gonna
be a marvy-do-do here.

It's, uh... okay. There we go.

- How you doing, Rosco?
- Well, Boss, uh, listen.

'Boss, uh..'

Good jump.

Oh! Oh, little fat buddy.

Did I scorch anything important?

You're gonna miss
that stop one day

and go right through the house.

Yeah, yeah. We got held up.

Long story, Uncle
Jesse. Sorry about that.

- So, what happened?
- Well, who do you think?

Boss and Rosco again.

- Yeah.
- The twins.

You got all the bags yet?

- What's the matter?
- There's something in the car.

Daisy, come on.

She's right. There is
something in the car.

Holy mackerel.

- Did you see that thing?
- It was in there, wasn't it?

'I don't know whether
I saw it or not.'

Look!

You think we oughta?

I wonder if we look as
strange to him as he does to us.

Hey, little feller.
Come on down here.

We won't hurt you.

We just wanna know where
you're from. Please come down.

'I-I don't think
he's understanding'

'one word we've said.'

Are you..

Now, we know how Dorothy
felt when she landed in Oz.

I don't that, that he's, um..

Listen, Enos said he saw
something land in Skunk Hollow.

That's where we might
have picked him up in the car.

I told you there were
beings from outer space.

Listen, whoever he
is, or whatever he is

we gotta get him
down from there.

I-I-I got an idea.

Listen, we're friends. Friends.

- Friends.
- Friends.

We're all friends. All of us.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Friends.

We... we all wanna
be friends with you.

He's talking back.
Hey, he's talking back!

- Yeah...
- Shh.

You'll scare him off again.

You come down here.

We all wanna be
friends with you.

He did it again.

'You scared him
away, talking so much.'

- Well, he showed up before.
- Hey, wait. Look.

'There he is.'

Sure got some moves
on him, don't he?

Yes, easy now. Easy.

- Hey, little buddy.
- How you doing?

- Hello there.
- We gonna be friends?

Hi.

Uh, you seen us all shake hands.

We gonna be pals?
You shake hands.

Put her there, pal.

Give it a try, Bo.

Uh... howdy.

Daisy, go ahead.

Hi.

Hey there. This is our house.

Won't you come in?

I-I think he said, yeah.

My goodness!

I've gotta call Enos and
tell him to get on out here.

Yeah, it's the least we can
do after not believing him.

Not sure I believe him myself.

While the Dukes was getting
acquainted with their visitor

over Daisy's peach
pie and coffee

Boss and Rosco was
heading for the Duke farm.

We gotta get to the Duke farm.

- You know...
- What did Enos say?

Well, Enos, well, he won't...

- The CB ain't working.
- He won't answer it.

What's he doing
at the Duke farm?

- I have no idea.
- Oh! Flash is in here.

Oh, she loves to go.

'Do you have to take
her with us every time?'

- She likes to go.
- Alright.

'Come on. Don't
waste any more time.'

Meanwhile, them two heavy uglies

was busy casing the town.

Look here, they
got a radio station.

That's perfect.

That's how we'll scare
the overalls off those hicks.

You mean, we
take over the place?

Yeah. Then, we start
broadcasting emergency bulletins

about invaders
from another planet.

Like that radio show
years ago. You remember.

Oh, yeah.

That started a riot.

Oh, and the rubes
will head for the hills

and we just walk in
and empty out every till

cash register and safe in town.

You got it.

Let's cruise around, decide
what places we're gonna hit.

- Then, we'll swing into action.
- Alright.

'Going out to the Duke farm?'

- Yeah.
- That just gets me.

I mean, what in
blazes is Enos doing

out at the Duke farm anyhow?

Don't know, but
Daisy left a message

saying that's where he is.

Well, I need him, you know,
for my special news broadcast..

At my radio
station at o'clock.

Yeah, I want him to be
the first to tell the world

about the flying saucer
landing in Skunk Hollow

Hazzard County, US of A.

Well, let's go out
to the Duke farm

and drag his butt
back by his bootstraps.

The nerve of him of associating
with them trouble-making Dukes.

Come on, I gotta go get
him to do the radio broadcast.

- Drive, drive.
- I'm driving.

'This is our home.'

Where we live.

And-and this is Daisy.

Hi.

And this is Luke.

- And that up there is Bo.
- Howdy.

And me, I'm Uncle Jesse.

That's, that's a real nice name
too. How do you spell that?

I know, why don't we
call him Little Cousin?

Can we call you Little Cousin?

Food.

You eat. Ah. Food.

Mm..

Would you like some food?

Huh.

Good grief.

Well, it looks like some
sort of food tablet, I guess.

That is what he says.

I suppose we better
eat it, just to be polite.

'He's eating the cookies.'

I don't think he
likes the cookies.

Hey, Luke? It's Enos.

I better prepare
him for this one.

Yeah.

Hey, Enos.

Enos, we got a surprise for you.

You really did see a
spaceship land last night.

It dropped somebody off.
We want you to meet him.

Hey, bring him out.

- Daisy. Come on.
- You ain't gonna believe this.

- Come on out here.
- Would you look at that?

Say hi to Enos.

- Possum on a gumbush.
- That means, uh, hello.

See, Enos is from
another planet too.

Enos, give him a smile.

Uh, well, I-I'm pleased
to meet you, sir.

And welcome to Hazzard.

'He's the cutest little
dickens I ever seen.'

Did he really come
off that flying saucer?

sh**t, where the heck
else you think he came from?

We have to keep this a secret.

Yeah, no telling what Boss
and Rosco would do with him.

'Make him into a sideshow
attraction or something, Enos.'

Speaking of the devil.

'Well, he's here.
She was right.'

Alright, alright.

- Where'd he go?
- I don't know.

There he is, over in the car.

- Come on, Daisy.
- Yeah.

'Enos! Enos, Enos.'

What in tarnation are
you doing out here?

Yeah, why don't
you answer that CB?

You should be
on it every minute.

'Sorry, sheriff, it was
busted. I had to get it fixed.'

Now, listen, J.D. and Rosco,
this here is private property.

And I'll thank you to
remove yourselves from it.

'I'll thank you not to get
so sniffy with me, Jesse.'

I've a good mind to arrest
them no-account nephews

of yours for trespassing
at Skunk Hollow.

Since when is Skunk
Hollow county property?

Since now! Since I said so.

Get away from there.

Rosco, call your dog away.
She's scratching the paint.

Will you hush?

She probably smelt something
you're hiding in that vehicle.

There ain't nothing in there.

Besides, you're
on private property.

Why don't you
get on out of here.

Don't tell us
anything like that.

She smells something!

What in the name
of all that's holy

in heaven and earth is that?

That looks like a mini
monster. Sic him, Flash!

Where'd he go? Where'd
he go? Where'd he go?

Oh, look, look, look.
There, there, there it is.

'Oh, my. Oh, my.'

Rosco, go on, arrest
that little jumping jack.

No, thank you. I-I don't..

Flash, that's it. You charge it.

I mean, att*ck it.
I mean, get on it.

Please, sheriff, you can't do
that. He's a visitor from space.

He-he got off that
flying saucer I saw.

You mean to say there
really was a flying saucer?

- That's what I've been saying.
- Enos, Enos.

'Will wonders never cease?'

Come on, we're gonna
get that little creature.

- We'll make millions.
- Wait a minute, Boss.

'Come on. Come on.'

- Where'd he go?
- Disappeared again.

'Where'd he go?'

Look, look, look,
he's in the car.

Come on, Bo.

We'll get him.

Come on, Rosco. We gonna
save that space creature ourselves.

I'm taking custody of
him as county property.

- Good idea.
- Come on, now.

Oh, no.

Y'all be careful, now.

Oh, for goodness'
sake, what did you do?

Where are we? Where are we here?

Pull up alongside.

Hang on, little
fella. I'm coming.

Little Cousin is just having fun

and ain't aware
that he could get hurt

in this primitive machine.

Friends. Remember "friends?"

It's alright. It's
alright. It's alright.

It's alright. Just calm down.

Everything's okay.
Alright. It's okay.

- Is he okay?
- Yeah, he's alright.

We're, uh, we're..
We're your-your friends.

Friends still.
Yeah, there you go.

- Yeah, see?
- Yeah. That's alright.

- Oh.
- Uh, well..

Boss and Rosco?

They're, they're
not... not friends.

- No. Bad.
- Yeah.

Bad, bad folks. But, but
we won't let them get you.

How do you say that in Martian?

You know more Martian than I do.

Oh. Okay.

Right now, we better
get back to the farm.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Thank goodness.

Got any?

We got him. He's alright.

He's a heck of a driver.

You alright, Little Cousin?

- Hey, little buddy.
- Yeah?

Uh, we'd better
get him hid before...

Yeah, get him in the house.

- You alright?
- I'm alright.

Get him in... get him
inside here somewhere.

Hey, hang on, y'all.
What are we gonna do?

Boss and Rosco sure
ain't gonna be happy till they

get the little fella in a
cage and sell tickets.

I'm sorry, I gave
away who he was.

Well, you did what
you had to do, Enos.

They've got no search warrant.

- Why don't we hide him?
- Good idea.

I'll go with him, so
he doesn't get scared.

- Alright.
- Come on, little fella.

- Take good care of him.
- Come on, let's go.

Isn't he something?

Can you believe them two fellas?

- Where do you hide a Martian?
- I can't believe that.

Well, here they are.

Well, I knew they'd
come right back here.

Alright, come on, Rosco.

Let's go get
that little critter.

Oh, they got Flash all tied up.

Oh, there's Flash.

Forget about him! Come
on! Come on, will you?

We'll pick him up on
the way out. Come on.

What's the matter, Boss?
You forget something?

Where is he? Where is
he? My little space critter.

Listen, I'm ordering you Dukes

to hand him over to
me this very instant.

That's right, because
I'm gonna arrest him

for running away from
a sheriff, that's me.

And-and stealing a vehicle.

And also flying into
Hazzard without a license.

I'm afraid you
two are outta luck.

Uh, he just popped
off clean outta here.

We were gonna save him for you.

We had a hold of him
but he, poof! Disappeared.

Listen, you Dukes are lying.
As any fool can plainly see.

I can see.

Enos, that little pogo
stick from outer space.

- He's county property.
- Yeah.

And I'm ordering you
to talk. Where is he?

Well, Mr. Hogg, it's
probably like they said.

He, he's probably
popped off somewhere.

Holy Hannah,
he's in it with them.

- Of course, he is.
- Rosco, let's search the place.

Now, just hold
it right there, J.D.

You're not taking one
step into this house

without a search warrant.

Well, he's got us there.

- No, no, no!
- No, no!

- No, he ain't got us anywhere.
- You ain't got us anywhere.

You listen, you Dukes,
and you listen good.

'At noon tomorrow,
I'm opening up'

'my flying saucer landing site'

in Skunk Hollow.

I'm warning you,
if you don't deliver

that little space critter
to me then and there

I'm gonna arrest
you for kidnapping.

- Mm-hmm.
- Harboring a fugitive.

Mm-hmm.

And violating the
national interest!

And that ought to send
you to the federal pen.

For life!

- Or even longer.
- Come on, Enos.

You're coming with us.
Come on, come on, come on.

- Excited, isn't he?
- Yeah.

Let's see how Daisy's doing.

Listen, Enos, you got a
radio broadcast to make.

- Don't you know?
- Oh.

You're gonna tell the world
about them flying saucers

and that space critter.
And you better talk.

- Yeah.
- Alright. Forget about the dog.

I didn't actually see
it get outta the space..

The flying... the
saucer. I didn't see that.

'Keep that dog away from me.'

'Come on. Come on.'

'Alright. Come on.
Come on, will you?'

'Alright, that's it, come on.
We haven't any time to waste.'

'Oh, watch it! Watch
it, will you, Enos?'

'I'm sorry, Mr. Hogg.'

'Oh, come on, come on.'

'Alright, that's it. Come
on, let's go, let's go.'

'I'm coming.'

Meanwhile, back in Hazzard

the two bad dudes had
finished casing the town

and was ready to pull off
their space invasion scare.

And don't you forget, all
you music lovers out there

Commissioner Hogg
has a ve-e-ery important

special news broadcast
for you at o'clock.

So stay tuned.

And while you're waiting

wrap your ears around
this oldie but goodie.

Well, howdy, fans.
Got a special request?

Yeah, stand up and
do as you're told.

Get those blinds, Buck.

What do you want?

If one of them numbers I played
didn't please you, just tell me.

I'll never play it again.

Shut up. Show me
how to work this thing.

Alright.

Yeah.

We don't understand,
Little Cousin.

He's sure trying to tell
us something, ain't he?

Listen, here, now just slow down

and run through that again.

- Oh..
- His spaceship.

That's talking
about his spaceship.

Alright.

Oh, I think he's saying that
somebody's coming to get him.

- Is that it?
- That's it.

Then you wanna go back
to Skunk Hollow, don't you?

- Yes.
- Well, sure.

You can hardly
blame him for that.

Especially after all
he's been through.

- Let's get going.
- Come on.

- Come on.
- We'll take you.

Look, he's leading me.
You bet he wants to go.

Gonna send you home.

Sure was fun having you around.
Here, let me give you a hand.

We don't want you
popping into the car.

There you go.

- Alright.
- Come on, Bo.

- We'll see you out there.
- 'Okay.'

And while the Dukes was
heading for Skunk Hollow

back in town, events
was coming to a head.

'What's the matter with you?'

Why don't you just
shut up and get in?

Why won't you leave me alone?

- 'Let me out of here.'
- Shut up!

'I'm gonna get fired.'

Figured out what
to say on the radio?

Yeah, just about.

After I finish broadcasting
about the space monsters landing

them rubes will be
stampeding outta town.

'Let me out of here.'

Pull up right in there, Rosco.

- Alright.
- Yeah, right up here.

Provided old dipstick
doesn't give me a whack.

Yeah.

- Alright.
- WHOGG.

- Enos. Come here, come here.
- Get over there.

Listen, you better make
this interview real good.

- Lay it on heavy!
- Yeah.

Because me and Rosco,
we got millions riding on this.

- Oh, at least.
- Come on.

Ah! What the devil
is going on here?

Alright, shut up,
fatty. Get them up.

You two guys go for
your g*ns, you're dead.

Now, look hold everything.

This here's a radio
station you're sticking up.

That means you're messing
with the federal government.

Yeah, you're messing
with Rosco P...

Knock it off!

If you behave yourself,
nobody will get hurt. Get in there!

- In that closet!
- Wait a minute!

- Wait a minute.
- No, no, not today.

Get in there.

Hey, that's a break.

With the local
law out of the way

stripping Hazzard clean
should be a cinch, huh?

- 'Help. Let me out of here.'
- Alright, here we go.

I got the speakers
turned on outside

so they'll be able to hear
us out on the square too.

Work this thing.

Here we go.

Attention. Attention.
People of Hazzard.

We interrupt this program

to bring you a
special news bulletin.

'We have been invaded
from outer space.'

'A flying saucer has
landed in this area.'

And they are heavily
armed... with strange weapons.

And there are heavy casualties.

'We repeat, this is
an official bulletin.'

All the people of Hazzard are
ordered to evacuate the town

'and run for the hills.'

'Weapons. Strange weapons.'

Hey, look at 'em taking
off. You're doing great.

'We repeat, this is an
emergency bulletin.'

Hazzard has been att*cked
by monsters from outer space.

- What?
- Did you hear that?

'The National Guard
has been alerted.'

I heard it, but I
ain't believing it.

Heavy casualties?

'And they are heavily armed.
People are urged to leave..'

Goodness gracious.

You suppose that could be?

Uncle Jesse, I don't know
what could be anymore.

You know, Luke, that
ain't Elton on the radio.

Uh, something ain't
right, that's for sure.

Look, don't worry about it.

We don't think you got
anything to do with that.

We don't know what's going
on either. What we gonna do?

I'm sorry to say, Little Cousin

we're gonna have to
take a detour into town.

'They're about feet tall.'

Looks like they're
going to town.

- Well, let's follow them.
- Alright.

Hurry, folks. The space
invaders are coming.

'They're getting real
close. Run for your lives!'

'The attackers are marching
on Hazzard right now.'

Uncle Jesse, Daisy. We're
heading to the radio station.

Why don't you check
out the county building.

Those two corn kickers in the
orange car heading this way.

That's weird. The
blinds are drawn.

You just sit tight,
Little Cousin.

What are you guys doing here?

Yeah, what are you
guys doing here?

Didn't you get the
order to evacuate?

Hold on a second.
Where's is Elton?

Haven't you been listening?
There's been an emergency.

- There's been a space invasion.
- Uh-huh.

Looks like you two are doing
the only invading around here.

You two are a little too
smart for your own good.

'Bo!'

Ugh!

Alright, you hicks asked for it.

No, Little Cousin. Look out.

Little Cousin may be a
Duke back on his planet

considering his knack
for getting into trouble.

What is this? Trick or treat?

Get outta here!

I saw it, but I
don't believe it.

M-m-maybe a flying
saucer really did land.

Alright, you fellas
got one more chance.

Put them g*ns down.
We'll talk this over.

Level with me. This squirt
come from a flying saucer?

Maybe he did and
maybe he didn't.

- Well, I'm betting he did.
- No, wait a...

Little too fast for him
that time, wasn't I?

- Well, you hurt him.
- Stand back!

Come on, Buck. We're
getting outta here.

We're taking this
little creature with us.

What about ripping off the
town? It's all emptied out.

That's peanuts compared to what
we'll get for this space monkey.

- Lock 'em up, Buck.
- Alright. Come on.

- Get in there.
- Get in there.

Come on. Get in there.

What are you gonna
do with him now?

'Help, let me out of here!'

Ah!

Boss? What are
you doing in here?

Get right on in!

Alright. Alright.

- They've got Little Cousin!
- After 'em.

- You alright?
- Yeah.

- Let's get the boys.
- Alright, Uncle Jesse.

- They gotta be still in there.
- Yeah.

'Hey, boys, we..'

Well, I thought they'd be here.

'Let us outta here!'

There they are!

'Let us outta here!'

- Oh, give me some air!
- Daisy.

They took the little fella.

They hit him over the head
and ran right outta town.

- We saw 'em in a car.
- Why didn't you chase 'em?

They sh*t my tires. I
couldn't chase them.

You mean they got
my little space critter?

- Come on, Bo.
- Yeah.

Oh, no! Enos, Rosco,
after him. After him.

We got millions at stake.

Good luck, guys.

This is Elton Loggin, the
voice of Hazzard County.

And what a day. Hoo-whee!

'Let me tell you.'

'For first of all, there
ain't no Martians.'

'Second of all, them
guys were phonies.'

'You know, just
like in the movies.'

'Who can you
trust? Elton Loggin.'

'The voice of Hazzard County.'

'He's still out.'

Step on it. They're
coming after us.

Be careful. We gotta stop
them without hurting the little guy.

We also gotta get the little
guy back to Skunk Hollow.

Hold it steady, so I
can hit those hicks.

- Why, that little..
- Grab the little devil.

What the heck's
going on up there?

Don't know, but looks like
he turned the tables on them.

Let's go, little fella. We'll
take care of him now.

- Come on, get out of here.
- Come on.

Alright, buddy. You did great.

'There they are!'

Get that little critter.
Come on, come on.

'Alright, fellas. Get up
there. You're going to jail.'

Alright, Rosco. Do
your duty. Cuff them.

No, no! Let Enos do that.

- Rosco, come here.
- What?

You grab that
little space critter.

He's county property. And
he's gonna make us millions.

Now, just hold it, J.D.

'This little fella's
got his rights.'

You can't treat him like
a, a-a piece of furniture.

No, you can't. We're taking
him back to Skunk Hollow.

That's right. He's going home.

- No! No, stop him!
- Come on, little fella.

Stop 'em! Stop 'em!
Rosco, stop 'em!

- Stop 'em! Stop 'em!
- Freeze it right there.

Alright, you Dukes.
Just freeze it right there.

Go, fellas!

- 'For goodness' sake.'
- 'Wait a minute.'

'Stop 'em, Rosco!'

No!

Rosco, I'm sorry about
that, but I had to do it.

Yeah, J.D., we'll pay
to have the tires fixed.

You Dukes will pay
for more than that

if I don't get back
my space critter.

Rosco, Enos, just don't
stand there chewing your cud.

Go fix them tires. We
gotta get to Skunk Hollow!

Come on, come on!

He's getting pretty agitated.

It must be time for
his friends to show up.

Take a look. The
sun's going down.

- 'Sure is.'
- Don't worry, little fella.

We'll get you to
your... plane on time.

Whoo! What a night.

Come on.

Little Cousin, we're
sure gonna miss you.

There you go.

Sorry you had such a
rough time over it here too.

I don't know if
you've understood

'anything we been
saying to you.'

We want you to know if you
ever get back this way again

you got a place to stay.

- I think he understands.
- I think he does.

It's been a pleasure.

Did you hear that?

We'll say goodbye to Uncle
Jesse and Daisy for you, you bet.

T-they'd be real happy
to hear you say that.

- Can you see it?
- I-I can't see nothing.

- I can sure hear it though.
- Yeah.

I can hardly believe
that really happened.

It-it did really
happen, didn't it?

I think so.

I sure hope so.

Even in Hazzard, you never know.

'There they are.
There's the General Lee'

'Pull up. Pull up.
Pull up right here.'

'Yeah, pull up. Oh,
for goodness' sakes.'

'We're too late.'

'Well, let's go find out.'

Where are they? What
happened? What happened?

Can you see? I can't see.

Where are they?
Is he still here?

- He's gone.
- He's gone?

And so ended one of
the most unusual events

in Hazzard in quite a while.

Boss was awful peeved about
losing out on his UFO scam.

Particularly, when
it wasn't no scam.

Which, ironically, is what
makes it so real in Hazzard.

Later, Little Cousin.
Post Reply