01x21 - Career Decision

[bunniefuu]

I gotta figure out a way
to get the morning paper

Without having to give ellen
koosman a free diagnosis.

Well, is my story in?

[Exclaims]

Oh, they've made
a terrible mistake.

What? What?

Well, they put your
story on the front page!

Are you serious?

[Exclaiming]

"Major long island developer

"Offers bribe to
county officials,

By margaret beaver."

Oh, no!

No, it's margaret seaver.

Oh, honey, I owe you for this.

If you hadn't moved
your practice home

So I could try my career again,

I'd never be on page 1.

Well, if you really
think you owe me one,

Next time they
give you a by-line,

Why don't you have it
read, mrs. Jason seaver?

Don't hold your breath.

So much for gratitude.

Well, I'd better
change before work.

These aren't your work clothes?

Well, when I put this on this
morning, I was a page 6 writer

And now I have to
dress for page 1.

I need a good job.

[Mimicking mr.t] no, don't
be a fool. Stay in school.

No, no.

Today's the day we're supposed
to observe someone at work

So we can do a talk about
it tomorrow at career day.

So?

I was all set to do mine
on cathy dunne's dad.

He's a stockbroker.

And cathy just called to tell
me that they fired her father

After 32 years with
the company. Oh.

Talk about wrecking my morning.

Well, you know, you do know some
other people with interesting jobs.

Name one.

Somebody very close to you
happens to be a dedicated professional,

Who also heads up a family,

And is a pretty snappy dresser.

Of course!

Mom!

I was talking about me, carol.

But, dad, I need
someone with a real job.

Mother?

Phlegm-face!

Dad, I think I'm sick.

Carol, you know, some people
think psychiatry is a real job.

Fine, fine, don't believe me.

[Coughing] huh?

Dad, I'm sick. Here,
take my temperature.

Ok. Oral or the
old-fashioned way?

♪ Show me that smile again ♪

♪ Don't waste another
minute on your cryin' ♪

♪ We're nowhere near the end ♪

♪ The best is ready to begin ♪

♪ As long as we got each other ♪

♪ We got the world
spinnin' right in our hands ♪

♪ Baby, rain or shine ♪

♪ All the time ♪

♪ We got each other ♪

♪ Sharin' the
laughter and love ♪

101.

All right, no school!

[Coughing]

I'll have a fried egg, over
easy, 2 strips of bacon,

A slice of cinnamon toast
with just a touch of jelly.

There's oatmeal on the stove.

Perfect.

Mom says it's a great idea.

Mike, I'm not going
to school today.

I'm spending the whole
day recording mom.

Ha! I'm spending the whole
day at home doin' nothin'.

Hi, guys.

Oh, honey, I gotta run. I
don't want people saying:

"Now that maggie's a star
reporter, she's coming in late."

[Laughing]

Thus with a quick kiss to the
people she calls her family,

A hectic day in the typical pell-mell
world of a great reporter begins.

Oh, and jason, could you do
that extra load of laundry,

If you get a chance?

With petty thoughts of
home behind her, she heads off

Into the cruel unknown that is

The real world.

[Video game beeping]
what are you doing?

Uh, healing.

Mike, if you're well
enough for video games,

I can have you at
school in 15 minutes.

Oh, I hope I'm not too
much trouble, dad.

[Doorbell ringing] if
your head clears,

Remember those school
books are right in front of you.

Now I'm hearing bells.

Ellen koosman. I'm
so busy right now,

I've been... Please, come in.

I can only stay a second.

I wanted to know if I could
borrow some dry yeast from you.

I was gonna go to the store this
morning, but my legs were so tired.

I don't know if it's the pills
that the doctor gave me

Or if it's the weather
that's causing...

Hi, mike. Hey, I'm sick.

I'll get some yeast.

Uh, thank you.

I wanted to bake some bread to
go with the soup that I'm making.

Now I'm coming down with a cold.

Can you believe it?

All winter long it's been
one thing after the other.

And now I've got a
bunion on my big toe.

[Doorbell ringing]

Dr. Seaver, you've
got to help me.

I feel like a woman
trapped in a man's body.

Not a very pretty one, either.

[Laughing]

How you doing, hal?
How are you, jason?

Good to see you. Come on in.

You remember maggie.

I thought I did.

Actually, this is ellen koosman,

Our next door
neighbor. Dr. Miller.

Oh, so you're a doctor, too.

I have this terrible
pain right here below...

No, uh, dr. Miller
is a veterinarian.

There's a bald spot
on my schnauzer.

It's really funny. Right here.

It's got this thing that's...

I know you can't stay.

Oh. Nice to meet you, doctor.

(Miller) nice...
Nice meeting you.

Thanks for not telling
her I'm a psychiatrist.

I'm in between patients now.

You want to come in
the office? Yeah, sure.

[Jason chuckling]

This is your office?

Hal, working at
home is great, really.

I... I can see why you left your
position at long island general.

All right, let's
get it over with.

You're gonna tell
me all the reasons

You think I was foolish to quit.

No, I'd rather show
you my latest book.

Wow.

"Sexual dysfunctions
of middle age."

I figured you could use it.

Well, at least you're now writing
something that you know about.

[Miller laughing]

[Doorbell ringing]

Why don't you let
your nurse get that?

Uh, she's at lunch.

It's 9:00 a.m.

She's a large
woman, but I love her.

Ah, good morning,
sir. How are you?

I'm jerry from rapid roofing.

Oh, well, our roof
is fine, thank you.

Your garage leaks like a sieve.

Who said that?

The lady next door
with the baldheaded dog.

Well, she wouldn't know...

I'll check it out right now.

No, it's... Listen. Hey. Whoo!

Hey, dad, I think I'm well
enough to watch t.v. Now.

As long as you don't enjoy it.

Oh, it's a real exciting little
practice you got here, doctor.

Well, it's not
usually this quiet.

Most of the time
this house is crawling

With people with
mental problems.

Yeah, you wish.

All right, jason, enough
of this male bonding.

I wanted to tell you that I'm
leaving long island general.

After all those years?

Yeah, I think it's
time to move on.

Do something really
worthwhile for a change.

I'm gonna do talk radio in l.a.

L.a.

You never run out
of patients out there.

Now, look,

The board of directors
wants me to pick my successor,

And I'm picking you.

Me? Yeah, who better?

You know, you once told me you
wanted to run this department

By the time you were 40.

Well, you're gonna be 3
years ahead of schedule.

[Miller laughing]
are you kidding?

I never kid about
work or underwear.

This is, uh...

This is incredible.

This is the kind of
opportunity I've, uh...

I can't take the job.

What?

Now, you see...
You see, maggie...

I have a deal with her now, hal.

She's taking a
sh*t at her career.

Jason, this is head of
the entire department.

I can't.

She's really rolling now, hal.

She was on the front
page this morning.

Did you see it? No, no.

Look, jason, how often do
you get a chance like this?

Department head at 37.

It's, uh... It's
impossible, hal.

Jason, promise me you'll
at least think about it.

Hal, my life right now is...

Dry rot! You're about
to lose the whole weenie!

(Carol) we're back in
the eye of the storm,

The frantic, fast-paced newsroom

Of the long island daily herald.

Dozens of reporters race
around the room, feverishly.

Now what are you doing, mom?

Looking for a tea bag.

Ah, here it is.

Then what are you gonna do?

Well, first I'm going to
make myself a cup of tea,

And then I'm gonna
talk to susan rush,

My city editor, about the
follow-up story I'm working on.

Hey, carol, you
should talk to susan.

She could tell you all
about a newspaper career.

She's an editor, a
woman, young, articulate,

And she's a very sweet person.

Maggie.

About your article.

Uh-huh?

I just got a call from
a joseph k. Chadway,

The builder you accused
of bribing county officials

In the story I ran on page
1 this morning. Uh-huh?

Joseph k. Chadway was a little
angry at being accused of bribery,

I'll bet.

Since the man you meant to
accuse was joseph a. Chadway.

Holy moley.

Exactly what our lawyer said.

Oh, susan, I don't know how
this possibly could have...

I just... I just can't believe you
didn't double-check the name.

I mean, that's about
as basic as it gets.

Maggie, I am pulling
you from the follow-up

And getting a real reporter.

[Door slams shut]

Well, was I right?
Is she nice or what?

[Sighing]

Uh-uh.

[Sighing]

[Imitating drum roll]

♪ [Gilligan's island
theme song playing on t.v.]

♪ Just sit right back
and you'll hear a tale ♪

[Switches off t.v.]

[Grunts]

♪ That day for a 3-hour tour ♪

It's on.

[Thunder rumbling on t.v.]

♪ The weather
started getting rough ♪

[Switches off t.v.]

♪ Tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪

It's still on. Whoa!

♪ The minnow would be lost ♪

(Jason) she'd have
to quit again.

And... Now I'm
talking to myself.

That's another
reason to take the job.

Hey, dad.

What is it, mike?

Gilligan's island is
on every day at 3:30.

Mike, I'm very busy. I'm trying
to make a tough decision here.

Dad, dad, it's on
whether I watch it or not.

Gilligan, the skipper, too. The
millionaire, his wife, the professor and...

Mary ann? Exactly.

What's the point?

Dad, it's not on for me.

It's just on.

Mike, are you starting
to realize that

The world doesn't
revolve around you?

Yeah, I guess I am.

Well, congratulations.

You know, you've hit
on one of the basic ideas

In the philosophy of camus.

Ah, the k*ller whale?

No, mike, that's shamu.

[Dryer buzzing]

Excuse me, I have
to empty the dryer.

Here, dad, look, I
can even show you.

That's ok, thanks.

[Bus tires squealing]

The school bus.

Hey, dad!

What? What is it?

Don't you see?

If gilligan goes on without
me, so does my school.

You know, all day
today, life went on

Even though I wasn't there.

Mike, this is your first
philosophical realization.

I'm proud of you.

See, you can learn from t.v.

Dad, all day today
life went on without me.

And you, too.

Well, I'm not sure... But, dad.

Don't you understand? The
world doesn't need us anymore.

It does just fine without us.

Oh, speak for yourself, mike.

Gosh, if I feel like this after
one day, how do you feel?

I mean, you're stuck
here every day.

Stuck! Michael, I'm not stuck.

I'm here because
I wanna be here.

[Dryer buzzing]

Now if you'll excuse
me, my laundry's calling.

Coming, socks.

Trapped just like the
castaways on gilligan's isle.

A 3-hour tour.

Dad, dad!

Hi, carol. You're home
early. Where's mom?

Parking her car.

Listen, I don't have
much time to explain

But mom has had the
worst day of her entire life.

Why?

Now, you can't do or say
anything to upset her, ok?

But what happened?

Hi, honey.

Hi, home early, huh?

Dad, I told you
not to upset her!

Carol, I'm ok.

Now I appreciate your concern,

But as I told you all
afternoon, I'm fine.

What happened?

Oh, I had a disagreement
with my editor.

Dad, she made mom
look like a complete...

Carol.

I've got it on tape,
dad. You decide.

No. Now, carol, you just don't
understand how adults talk to adults.

Sometimes they yell.

Haven't you seen the
new jack klugman show?

Sure, sure, that must be it.

What happened?

Oh, no big deal.

That's good. You know,
the way she's carrying on

I thought it was the
end of the world.

No.

Hey, you remember,
uh, hal miller,

Doctor from long island general?

Well, he came by here
today, and he offered me...

Oh, jason. What?

I have never been so
humiliated in all my life.

Honey, what?

It is not being yelled at
that really bothered me, but...

Or even making the
mistake to begin with.

What mistake?

I used a "k" instead of an "a."

No!

In a man's name.

Well, that's not so bad.

Who will probably sue us
because we said he was a felon.

That could be trouble.

But you know what
really, really got to me? No.

It's what kept going through my
head when susan was yelling at me.

What?

That instead of working I
could be home doing the laundry.

And it sounded good.

Oh, you weren't
thinking straight.

Oh, jason, it's time I faced a
few things and I need your advice.

Ok. Ok?

Over this past year I've had a lot
of fears about going back to work.

Mmm-hmm.

Can I pick up right where
I left off 18 years ago?

Can i... Can I compete
with people half...

3-Quarters my age?

Do I really want a
career or is it the idea

Of having a career that I love?

Am I being fair to the kids?

Am I being fair to you?

So I did what you always do.

I started 2 lists.

Good.

One of reasons
to, uh, keep my job.

See, it's blank.

And the other of
reasons to quit.

Look at it.

"Bread, milk, pantyhose."

No, no, no, the other side.

Well, this is, uh, quite a list.

So, what do you think?

Are you asking me if I
think you should quit?

Yeah.

Well, it's interesting
that you should ask me this

Today of all days.

Oh, honey, I need your advice.

I know you'll be
fair and objective.

Yes.

See, you were the one that
advised me to go back to work

When in your heart of
hearts you didn't want me to.

Well, i... I did, yes.

Yes, and I love you for it.

Thank you.

So I know you'll be fair
and objective here, too

Even if you really
wanted me to quit,

Because I know staying at
home has to be getting to you.

Well, I've... I've...

Should I quit?

Oh, that's tough, maggie.

Honey, what do you think?

Well, I think that,
uh, if you think

That you've made a
mistake going back to work,

Then I think, uh...
Then you should, uh,

Do something about it.

Well.

I guess that's all
there is to say.

Mom, I just heard,
and I still love you

Even if you are a
rotten reporter.

Good morning.

Save it. It's just me.

Then get out of my chair.

I was just warming it for you.

Out of my chair, squirt.

Where's mom?

She left for work early to
clear some things up with her boss.

How do you know?

I'm small.

People forget I'm around
and say all kinds of things.

You guys should have told
her that you still believe in her

And that you're behind her.

Hey, mom doesn't need
to hear that from us

As long as dad's around.

That's what he's here for.

That's why people get married.

So that there's at least
one person saying you're ok

When you know you're just
a crummy bag of dog meat.

Mike, you're absolutely right.

You guys are gonna
have to clean up here

And lock the door
when you leave.

I'm gonna go catch mom
before she makes a mistake.

She shouldn't give up
because of one little mistake.

Hey, she knows that.

I mean, after you were born
she had another kid, didn't she?

That's funny.

Here.

You said yesterday that
you wanted a real reporter

To do the follow-up to my story.

Well, you've got one, me.

You find anything
wrong with that

And I'm out of here for good.

But if you don't find
anything wrong with it,

I expect you to use it

Because it's as good as
anybody can do in this office.

You're right.

And I don't think it's
very fair that you just...

What?

I said, "you're right."

Oh.

She doesn't know
what she's saying.

She doesn't mean a word of it.

What?

Yes, I do.

No, you don't.

Yes, I do.

I just want you to know
that I don't want you to quit.

Quit! I am not going to quit.

No? No.

No.

This isn't the daily planet?

Excuse me.

Lois?

Clark?

Jimmy?

(Maggie) excuse me.

Jason, what were you thinking?

At which embarrassing point?

Are you trying to get me fired?

No, I came down here to
keep you from quitting.

Yesterday you told me to quit.

Well, that was bad advice.

That I relied on.

Well, today I rushed down here

To stop you from following it.

Why didn't you follow it?

Because it was bad advice.

Ok, i... I admit it.

I liked the idea of
you coming back

And taking over
the house, maggie.

I've been feeling trapped.

And you saw long island
general as a way out?

You knew about that?

When I was leaving this
morning I happened to find this.

"Reasons to take the job.
Reasons to turn it down."

Guess you probably read it, too.

Yup.

Both columns.

Jason, why didn't you
tell me about the offer?

Well, because I
didn't want it to seem

Like I was telling you to quit

So that I could
pursue my opportunity.

Which I was.

You really want to take
hal's offer, don't you?

I considered it.

And then I made out this list

And, uh, it came
out clearly against.

Jason, it's 9-to-1 in
favor of taking the job.

Yes, but the one reason not to,

The one called "maggie,"

That's more important
to me than all the rest.

You're terrific.

Hey, well, it's only fair.

You know, I guess it's
my turn to stay home

With gilligan, and the
skipper, and the millionaire.

What?

Well, you gotta ask mike.

He's the new
philosopher of the family.

Mr. Purlow's
feelings of paranoia

Have been greatly reduced

By the realization of the fact

That he is indeed
universally disliked.

On the bright side...

(Carol) dad?

In here, carol.

Hi, honey. How was career day?

Well, see, I realized that most
jobs hang by a slender thread,

So I decided not to do mom's job

And I did emily sullivan's
father's job, instead.

Ah, what does he do?

He's a clerk at the
unemployment office.

Hey, great news, dad.

If I heard it once, I heard
it a hundred times today.

When I was sick, every
teacher mentioned

That it was not the same there

Without me disrupting class
and making stupid comments.

That's great news?

Yeah, well, it is to me.

I mean, the 10th grade
may not revolve around me,

But they sure know
when I'm not there. Mmm.

Hey, carol, come on. Gilligan's
on and we can't stop it.

Thus ends another day in the
life of a great psychiatrist,

Not behind the facade
of a big city hospital,

But right here
in the real world.