They're just going to dish
the ball off to Scottie Pippen.
Thank you, Pat Riley.
Why don't you quit your job
and coach for the Knicks?
Please, not another
conversation about sports.
Can't we talk about something
everybody's interested in?
Did anyone see the article
on sun-dried tomatoes?
Let's break it up.
I'm already running minutes
behind.
What's wrong
with your eye, Miles?
What's wrong?
I popped
a little blood vessel.
Doctor said
it's probably stress-related.
It should clear up
by tomorrow.
So what if it happened
while I was asleep?
Why should I worry
Because I'm hemorrhaging
during my rest state?
I don't mean to rush you
through your eye story
But there's a great interview
I want to do.
I still have my hearing.
Go ahead, Frank.
What is it?
I want to interview Eli White.
Oh, very topical, Frank.
Nobody uses the cotton gin
anymore.
And besides, I think he's dead.
Not Eli Whitney, Corky.
Eli White, who wrote the book
about the new men's movement.
Ah, here we go--
the new men's movement.
Ever since it was glorified
on the cover of Newsweek
I knew that thing would find
its way here.
Why do you guys need a movement?
Tired of getting higher pay
for the same jobs?
I know, I know.
I was put off by the hype, too.
But then I read the book.
"New Men, Old Pain."
Geez, Frank, did you
actually pay for that?
Yes, and I'm glad.
I realized
what society has done to men.
We're not allowed
to express our feelings,
have any emotions.
This book was
an amazing journey for me.
I feel I bonded
with all my fellow brothers.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Helen Reddy.
Frank:
Eli White says
Men need to break away
from the nine-to-five routine.
He tells us
to pound the ancient drum
Explore tribal rituals.
The book is filled
with forgotten myths and poems
That connect us to the wisdom
of our male ancestors.
Some wisdom--
Life will be great,
if we just sacrifice a virgin.
And you're still doing that.
There's got to be
more to it, Murphy.
New Men, Old Pain
has been on the bestseller
list for weeks.
If I get my eyesight back,
I may take a look at it.
I can't believe
you haven't read it.
It will completely
transform you.
Jim, did you read
the copy I gave you?
Yes, I did.
I got as far
as the part
About how men should be able
to cry in public
And I tossed it
into the fireplace.
If you want to go into
your yard and do the dance
of the lost antelope
That's your business.
But leave me out of it.
I'm a Presbyterian,
for God's sake.
You can't even hear yourselves
crying out for help.
That's why Eli White
has these workshops.
Right--
expensive workshops.
You want to cry?
Give me bucks.
I'll hit you
with a hammer.
You are so wrong, Murphy.
He only charges $ per man
To cover the cost
of renting the ritual space.
"The ritual space"?
Where's that?
The Ramada Inn off I- .
Your ritual space is
at the Ramada Inn?
This is tragic.
What are some of the rituals?
The breaking of the sacred
toilet seat seal?
The filling of
the ritual ice bucket?
You're so deep
into this guru
You've lost
your objectivity.
He is not a guru.
He's a real, genuine man.
I'll bet.
One minute you're thinking,
"This guy makes sense."
The next thing, you're
in Madison Square Garden
Getting married
to Koreans.
Okay, okay,
that's enough.
Debate's over.
This is obviously a very hot story.
So I've made a decision
That I hope everyone
will accept.
Quiet-- Captain Blood Clot,
the corporate pirate
Is going to speak.
We are going to have Eli White
on the show.
All right, Miles.
However--
And this separates the greats
From the almost-greats--
Frank will not do the interview.
What?
Murphy will do the interview.
Why?
Because I want this interview
To be in-depth and challenging
and not just a
showcase for Eli White.
You know, Miles,
you have a point.
When smart guys like Frank
Get caught up in something
I think is a scam
It bears looking into.
All right, fine.
You be as tough as
you need to be.
But I promise you,
this movement is legit.
It will even stand up
to Murphy Brown.
(Cheering)
Unbelievable.
I can't believe this.
This is me.
I'm in this book.
We're all
in the book, Miles.
It says that all men fall into one
of four basic categories
Depending on the kind of relationship
they had with their fathers.
Jim, let's
look you up.
Did you have the active, unnurturing father
or the over-bearing, emasculating father?
Check, please.
Jim, why does this make you
so uncomfortable?
You've got to learn
to open up.
Come on,
talk to me.
Talk to me.
Oh, for heaven's sake, Frank.
I get enough of this at home.
Good night.
Don't go yet.
There's something
I need to tell you guys.
I want you to promise
you're going to react to this
Like the open-minded people
I know you are.
I signed all three of us up
for Eli White's workshop this Sunday.
Only ten men are allowed in.
It was filling up fast.
You don't have to come.
I just thought it would
be a good way for us
to get closer.
I don't know, Frank.
I got budget reports,
my condo association...
Listen to you.
The curse
of the corporate man.
Are you waiting
for your eye
To pop right out of your head?
What about you, Jim?
I'd rather Cha-Cha
with Sam Donaldson.
(Bell rings)
(Crowd moaning)
Murphy:
Thank you, boys.
Thank you.
Maybe next time
you'll listen to me
Instead of those clowns
at ESPN.
Well, well, well,
look who's here.
If it isn't Cro-Magnon,
Peking and Mongolian man.
What are you guys doing here?
Tracking woolly mammoth?
I came in here to catch the fight
And got sucked up
into Frank's vortex of need.
How's the story going, Murphy?
Pretty good.
I asked Eli White
to meet me here
For the pre-interview.
I thought he'd be more comfortable
among his own kind.
The more comfortable he is,
the better chance
He'll slip up.
There he is.
The Big Kahoona.
Mr. White,
I'm Murphy Brown.
Thank you
for meeting me here.
The pleasure's
all mine.
I've been a fan
for a long time.
Thank you. This is
our executive producer.
Miles Silverberg, type two man.
Our senior anchor,
Jim Dial.
(Hoarse croak)
And Frank Fontana.
Hi.
I want you to know
I was very moved by your book.
Thank you.
Frank's the reason FYI's
doing the interview.
I suppose I should
thank you, Frank.
But then I've never
seen myself on television.
The Acoma Indians
have a saying:
"Don't look in the pond
If you want to believe
you're beautiful."
Whoa.
Thank you.
Mr. White?
Please-- Eli.
Eli.
I'll be coming
to your workshop this Sunday.
What about you, Miles?
Uh... If I can move
my condo meeting to Saturday
And work in
my budget reports Friday
Which means rescheduling
lunch with head of legal
So I can move my meeting
with the electrician's union...
Oh, God, Eli,
help me!
Jim?
I'm golfing.
Excuse me, guys.
Could you do your bonding
on someone else's time?
We've got work to do.
All right.
I'll see you both
on Sunday.
Murphy:
Eli, thank you
for coming.
I just have
a few questions to ask you.
Then I'll let you go.
Of course.
I must tell you, Murphy.
I'm disappointed that it's you
doing this interview.
Oh, why is that?
I hope this doesn't sound sexist
But I think it would be easier
For a man to understand
deep, masculine feelings
Just as it would be easier
for a woman to talk about
The female experience.
I think I did a good job
Of understanding the students
at T'ien-An Men Square
The blacks in South Africa.
I'll try to do the same
for your men at the Ramada Inn.
You think we're pretty
foolish, don't you?
A bunch of grown men in a room,
pounding on a drum
Listening to a lot of old poems.
But there's something
about being away from the office
The factory, the home,
the women.
A remarkable thing happens.
All it takes
is one act of bravery
One man to tell his truth
And little by little,
they all begin to open up
And I'm telling you,
they amaze themselves
With the depth
of their feelings.
You're very good,
but I still don't get it.
You rent a room,
you read some Viking poems
And C.P.A.s all across the country
Are having
cathartic breakthroughs?
I don't read the poems.
I relate them.
Never underestimate the power
of the human voice.
"The boy came home,
his clothes all in rags
"All in rags.
"His face gray with ashes
from a trip down the well.
"The hawk had flown,
the wife cried loud.
At the well, at the well,
no water was found."
"At the well, at the well,
a spoon filled with dust.
"And the boy became a man.
At the well, at the well."
Phil, you read this book?
Little Phil gave it to me
for Father's Day.
Best book I've read since
Ed McMahon's Barside Companion.
Jim...
Are you all right?
Me? Oh, yes, I'm fine.
Did I mention I golf?
Every Sunday.
Right over there
near the Ramada Inn.
Let me come
to the workshop.
I don't think
I can do that.
Men have a harder time
opening up around women.
I'm not a woman.
I'm Murphy Brown.
Make an exception this one time.
If I don't understand
what's going on,
then I won't be able
to help my viewers understand.
You couldn't participate.
You'd have to leave
your personal feelings
And judgments outside.
Would you be able to do that?
Piece of cake.
We start by calming our minds
And opening ourselves
to the spirit of the hawk.
Spirit of our hearts.
We are moving far away
from this place.
Far, far away
from this place.
Room service.
Right here.
Here you are.
Two eggs scrambled
and wheat toast.
Thanks a lot.
Here you go.
Keep the change.
Thanks.
Sorry. I'm pregnant.
Food is very important to me.
You know, spirit of the stomach,
spirit of the toast.
Today, we are all one man.
We acknowledge
our similarity
By intoning
the Indian word,"ho."
Ho!
Say it with me.
Men:
Ho.
This is
our ritual talking stick.
It is a tool to use
to express your deep feelings.
It guarantees the floor
to whomever holds it.
Who will be the first?
I will.
I mean, ho.
I'm Frank Fontana
and, uh...
I'm not sure
what to say.
That's a good
honest start, Frank.
Go ahead.
Share anything with us
that you like.
Except try to avoid
the usual traps
Of talking about
sports or money.
We'll be out of here
in five minutes.
Okay, here goes.
I like Chinese food.
All right, deeper.
Someday
I'd like to own a dog.
Deeper.
I don't think I've ever
really satisfied a woman in bed.
Men:
Ho!
I'm my own person!
I'm not Nathan Silverberg's
little boy!
I'm not Gene Kinsella's
little peon.
I'm me, damn it! Me!
I'm sick of my beemer!
I'm sick
of my car phone!
I hate my Braun coffee maker!
I hate this stupid
alligator shirt!
I renounce all labels!
Ow! Ow! Chest hair!
I'll cut it off when I get home.
I honor all men!
Men:
Ho! Ho! Ho!
I honor my friend, Frank!
And I honor you, too, Miles.
I've never said
this to you before
But I respect you
And I care for you
And...
and I love you, man.
I love you, too.
Men:
Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!
Jim...
It's your turn.
(Men chanting:)
Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim.
(Chanting louder:)
Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim.
Jim! Jim! Jim!
All... all right, all right,
all right.
Well, I'm afraid you're all
going to be disappointed.
I like my clothes.
And I had an excellent
relationship with my father.
He was a man's man.
No matter what happened,
he never let it get to him.
When I was ten
He fell on hard times
as a stockbroker.
In one day, he lost his job
and most of his friends.
I came home
from school that day
And there he was,
reading his paper
Just like he always did
But I noticed
He had this very sad
look in his eyes.
I walked over
And I climbed up onto the arm
of his big leather chair
And before I knew
what was happening
I leaned over, and I kissed him.
He turned to me, and he said
"Now, now, son,
"A real man doesn't give in
to his emotions."
Well, that pretty much
summed up the man.
Stoic.
Cold sometimes.
Occasionally able
to make a young boy
Feel like a real fool.
"A real man doesn't give in
to his emotions."
What a jackass thing to say.
I wasn't a real man.
I was ten.
I've carried that around
for years.
I'm in pain.
For God's sake,
somebody hug me!
Jim!
I may kiss you, Miles.
I want you to, Jim.
Ho! Ho!
All right, that's it!
Show's over.
(Crying)
I can't stand it anymore.
I've been locked up
With you crybabies
for six hours
And I still don't
get this movement.
And look what you've done
to Jim.
Hi, Murphy.
Jim, pull yourself together.
Here, give me that.
Here.
No.
Whoever holds the stick
has the floor.
I've watched you
all day.
You use jokes and judgments
to cover your own feelings.
I think you have some things
to share with us.
No, I don't.
Please, go ahead.
Express yourself.
You have the stick.
Ooh.
The stick.
The talking stick.
Oh, right, right--
This is serious.
I'm supposed
to hold out the stick
And blame my father
for something.
Okay, okay.
My father...
My fa...
Sorry, guys,
the worst I can do is:
My father wanted a boy.
Well, it's only natural.
If I were a man,
I'd probably feel the same way.
I mean, at least he was honest.
He came right out
and said what he was feeling.
I wanted a boy.
I wanted a boy.
How the hell did he think that
was supposed to make me feel?
How do you
say that to a little girl?
My turn.
Hey, back off.
I'm not done.
Now, where was I?
Oh, yeah, my father.
One time I asked him
to build me a tree house.
Hey, I could use
a little drums here.
Well, it wasn't so much
the idea of the tree h...
Morning, guys.
Hello, Frank.
Morning, Frank.
So, uh...
Interesting weekend, huh?
Yes, quite.
How 'bout those Redskins?
(Frantic football talk)
Morning.
What's everybody
talking about?
All:
Football.
That's all you ever talk about.
I thought that workshop yesterday
was supposed to change you.
I'm late.
Isn't that
a new Xerox machine?
Isn't that why
you went, Frank--
To change?
So, what happened
there?
What did you do?
What did you talk about?
Nothing.
Stuff, that's all.
Well, you must have talked
about something.
Miles, did you go?
So what did you all
do there?
What did you talk about?
Murphy:
Jim!
Oh, God!
Boy, do I owe you all
an apology.
I just want
thank you
for letting me share
An incredible experience.
I guess I felt
threatened at first--
It's probably the way
a lot of men felt
At the start
of the women's movement.
But I can't tell you
how much I respect you guys
for opening up
The way you did.
You should have
seen them, Corky.
Especially Jim.
What's she talking about,
Jim?
I have no idea.
I played golf yesterday
Shot an .
Ate a turkey melt,
was home by : .
Okay, okay.
I can see why
it was hard for Jim.
He's not ready to express
his new self in the office yet
But you guys...
Okay, time to go to work.
Everybody go to work.
You guys
were inspiring.
I can't tell you how much
I'm looking forward
to working with guys
Who are secure enough
to openly say
They love each other.
Like you did, Frank.
Shh! I did not.
Yes, you did.
Just before
Miles hugged you.
I didn't want
to hug.
He made me.
Let's start
this day off right.
I love you guys.
I really do.
Now, say it
to each other
And then hug.
Hey, look, everyone!
Frank and Miles
are going to hug.
Hey, what was that?
That was pathetic.
How about the
spirit of the hawk?
The drums? The stick?
Just one hug!
You know you want to!
Get away from me,
Carl.