03x03 - The Bend in the River: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

In 1972,
a cr*ck commando unit...

was sent to prison
by a m*llitary court...

for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped...

from a maximum-security
stockade...

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted
by the government...

they survive
as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem,
if no one else can help...

and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire the A-Team.

Where did you get this? This
belongs to Brian Lefcourt.

He owns some of the biggest
newspapers in the world.

Let's get back
to this lost city stuff.

There wouldn't happen to be some lost
treasure in this lost city, would there?

Are you the jackass that
calls himself "The Coffin"?

Yes, señor. El Cajon.

This Señor Lefcourt,
you have come...

all this way with these
powerful weapons to find him?

I'll ask the questions.

In that case, adiós, señor.

- So, you had a little surprise for me, huh?
- No, I don't.

You ought to get some
plastic cartridges.

You can't go swimming
with those paper-wrapped.

We want to know about Brian.
Is he all right?

I'm sure you will see him
soon enough, chiquita.

Their weapons
are no good, Doyle.

Shall we drop the weapons,
gentlemen?

Might as well. She pulled
the f*ring pins, guys.

I will have to make
one more trip.

There was to be no more trips.

What is one more trip
among friends?

Under the circumstances, I do not think
you have much to complain about.

Continue down river
and unload these supplies.

Then get back to Cajon's camp
and wait for my instructions.

I will not forget
what happened back there.

Good.

Good morning, J.B.
How were the dailies?

Do you really know where the
lost city of Del Rio is?

Doyle has been trying
to get me to talk for days.

The only reason he's keeping me alive
is 'cause I haven't broken yet.

We're talking about
a lot of money here, right?

I mean, riches beyond belief?

So the legend goes.

Right. Gold and silver
and rubies and diamonds--

Lions and tigers
and bears. Oh my!

Well, that explains why he's
got you here like Papillon.

But it doesn't
tell us anything...

about what he's
doing up river...

with those supplies he's shipping
on Bobbi Cardina's barge.

Maybe he's searching
for the lost city.

- Hoping to find it if Brian doesn't tell him.
- No!

I looked at that
stuff on the barge...

while we was coming up river...

and it was
construction material.

And them guys ain't gonna
build no church.

I swear I did not request
these script changes.

Whatever happened
to the original ending?

Those happily-forever-after endings
that have become my trademark?

Your trademark is stupidity.

Hey, you.

Yeah, you.

Your friend over there
looks a little sick.

I think it's because he's been looking
at your pig face for too long.

Hey, Colonel, come
on, don't get on the jazz.

You're just gonna
get yourself in trouble.

You talk big from in there.

Well, maybe
you should let me out.

- No, Doyle said, no.
- Yeah, Doyle said no.

Doyle said, no for this pendejo.

Perhaps he would like
to see his friend scream.

Oh, why is it always me?

You haven't got the guts.

Hey, Hannibal, what are
you trying to do here?

No. No, Doyle
will skin you.

See, Face, you got off easy.

Yeah, you think?

You yellow-bellied sack of pus.

Oh, no. Look, wait,
wait, can we talk about this?

You've got him against the ropes, champ.
Now take him out!

Hit him anywhere but the face.

Face, you've got
a mad extra here.

He didn't get his lunch money.

Get me that kid with the gold
around his neck. He's fantastic!

Who's his agent?

I'm impressed, Face.

I thought he was
going to cream you.

Yeah, but you know...

Looks like you could use
a hand, muchacho.

I was going to cut you loose.

Right.

Now, let the others out.

You're a Princess.

Face, all that I can say
is it's a good thing...

we weren't rolling film.

I mean, I know
that it was, you know...

just the rehearsal, but
still, I need more.

More?
More!

Don't hold back.

I know that what you were
doing was real...

but in film what we need
is that which looks real.

Well, I'm fed up with all this
movie business business, you know?

Audiences today
are so sophisticated...

they're never going
to go for that ballet...

that you put on for them.

That's real!
Oh, it's fantastic.

It's so real.

I've had it.

You're right.
This guy's a real trip.

He sure is.

Quickly, before Doyle returns.
My barge is through here.

Just a minute. What
are you doing here?

To help you escape. So Doyle
would not k*ll you all.

Well, why the sudden
concern for our safety?

You just wished to help your friend.
You did nothing wrong.

- I see no reason you should die.
- Thanks.

Now, what's up with Doyle?

What's so important to him he'd
k*ll innocent travelers...

who try to go up river?

Let us waste no more time.

We can be back past the bend in the river
before Doyle even knows of your escape.

Terrific.

Then we run into that other
great sleazeball, El Cajon.

El Cajon will not bother us.

What's your connection
to El Cajon?

How do you know
he won't bother us?

He won't.

Vámonos.

Let's go.

Oh, no.

We no go with you.
Not for us.

What're you talking about?

You'll never make it all the way
back to Monte Alegre on foot.

And you can't
wait here for Doyle.

He see shadow of doom
cloud the future.

You must be some kind
of hard-shelled nut.

What if I protected you
like I did last time?

We got caught, señor.

But you didn't die.

You said nobody goes up
against El Cajon...

and gets away.

You did. My magic works.

And I can do it again.

The moment to take.

Okay.

What're you doing?

Don't ask.

Fantastic.

Okay, we go.

Don't even think it, sucker.

Where is it?
Where is it?

Where is it? Where? Where?

- Murdock, here it is.
- No, no, no!

Here it is.

All right, I'm ready.
You can bring them all on.

Cigar, Colonel?

- Thanks, Face.
- Sure.

Okay...

where are the f*ring pins, lady?

I gave them to Doyle. You will not
need them. You will be safe with me.

I will get you back
to Monte Alegre.

We're not going back
to Monte Alegre. Not yet.

We're too close.

We could be within throwing
distance of that lost city.

We're not turning back now.

Brian, you need a doctor.

I need to find that place.

We may never get
another chance like this.

I will not guide you up river.

Then we'll just have
to borrow your barge...

f*ring pins or no f*ring pins.

Hey, man, what do we care
about a lost city?

Why do we care? Why do we care?
Because it is just possible...

that it will be
the greatest location...

for the finale
of my monumental epic.

We talking a finale
to your life, sucker.

Not having no f*ring pins when
we're att*cked by river pirates...

Doyle, and the rest of them
Amazonian Indians.

Well, then maybe
we should get out of here.

You understand,
don't you, Hannibal?

This is something I have to do.

I've always been one
for a nice relaxing cruise.

And that'd be
a good time, querida...

for you to tell me what Doyle's up
to round that bend in the river.

Look, all I do is run supplies.

I drop them on shore
and then I leave.

When I return, they're gone.

Who takes them and what they
are for I do not know.

Then we'll all
find out together.

I hate this movie.

But I do like the leading lady.

You've got her.

If only I can get her agent
down to $50,000.

There are the Devil's Horns!

I knew it!
I knew it was here!

Natives with spears.

How I wish I had a shoreline
of natives with spears.

The texture, the color. I need
that, I need that fast film.

Your color going to be red with blood
if you don't stop acting stupid.

Listen, I am I, and you are you.

Perchance some day that we should
walk along the same road together...

- You be dead!
- Gotcha.

All right, this is your party.

Where do we go from here?

We walk.

It had been six months...

since we had seen...

the 26-toed crater banth
and his son...

that had become
affectionately known...

as Throgmorton the Terrible
to our crew.

Tchapate.

Come back,
Little John, come back!

Tchapate.

Nice to meet you.

Friend of yours?

It's the guardian
of the tribe of Del Rio.

Supposedly his powers...

protected Del Rio
and its riches.

That's right.

I know.

Where's the rest of it?

There has to be more, right? If this
guy's watching over the lost city...

then he doesn't
have a very big job.

Legend goes that Tchapate
stands guard over Del Rio.

And only to the one
who can unseat him...

will he tell the secrets
of the lost city.

The key is in what Brian said.

He said...

the one man
who can unseat Tchapate...

from his rule.

You see, dwellers at that time
in Del Rio were primitives.

They ruled by strength.

They did choose their kings
according to who was strongest.

Okay, B.A.,
give it a sh*t.

All right, B.A.

It was all worth it.
It really does exist.

You know, kid,
you did all right.

I like the way
that guy's hooked up.

Me, too.

So they found it.
I knew they would.

I knew they would
lead us to it...

if we made their escape
convincing enough.

And me self and husband
of me sister, we go free?

The hell you are.

You got to take us back there.

Back? Is no possible.

You can't remember where it was?

Our deal was to go with them
when they escape...

to come and tell you.
That was our deal.

No. Our deal is
what I say it is.

And unless your sister wants to lose a
husband and a brother in one afternoon...

you take us back
to the lost city.

Si, Señor Doyle.

I do not think me sister could
stand so much grief all at once.

Of course she couldn't.
Now get ready to move out.

So the lost city's there.

It's really there.

And all its treasures are mine.

Si, señor.

And all its evils, too.

♪ I told the witch doctor
I was in love with you ♪

♪ I told the witch doctor
you did not love me too ♪

♪ And then the witch doctor
he told me what to do ♪

♪ He said, ooh-eh
ooh-ah-ah, ting-ta ♪

♪ Walla-walla, bing-bang ♪

♪ Ooh-eh-ooh-ah-ah,
ting-tang-walla-walla bing-bang ♪

What are you crazy, fool?

Walla-walla-bing-bang.

I could have hurt you before I realized
who was behind this crazy thing.

You're supposed to be
on guard duty.

Now, take over while I go
check out the perimeter.

And keep your mind
on your job...

or I'll walla-walla-bing-bang
you.

Well, it's not exactly
what I was hoping for.

It's beyond anything
I'd hoped for.

I mean, people have
such misconceptions.

Archeological digs
that produce enough...

intact pieces to count
on one hand are so few.

Here, look what we've got
and so well preserved.

Yeah.

A few well preserved diamonds
and golden statuettes.

It'd be so boring anyway.

Let's hit it.

What's up?

I've been checking
this place over.

I found some of the original
perimeter defenses...

we can kick into gear
with a little effort.

- Against who?
- Doyle.

I expect him here any minute.

Why do you
think he let us escape?

- Let us?
- Sure.

Face, you don't think I'd let you get
in there with that cement mixer...

if I didn't figure
the fight was rigged, do you?

I mean, Doyle figured he
couldn't b*at it out of Brian...

so he decided
to follow him here.

Yes, but who would have...

No, I think Bobbi wanted to take us to
Monte Alegre and get us out of here.

All right, let's hit it!

Drop your weapons, Doyle...

or we'll drop you.

Give it up, Smith.

I know your weapons are useless.

Come out where I can see you.

Come on out and...

maybe I'll spare the women.

You're messing with some
pretty bad magic, Jack!

So, how's tricks?

You don't realize
who you're dealing with.

I realize I'm dealing
with a 200 pound sack of manure...

who's going to have a hard time
crawling out of that hole.

- You're not going to leave us here.
- I might spare the women.

But first, you're going to give us back the
f*ring pins to our weapons, and then...

you're going to take us for a little
walk and show us what you've been...

building up around
that bend in the river.

A nuclear reactor.

They're building
a nuclear reactor.

You know, from here that
looks like Carlos Roiderman.

The South American
industrialist?

Even my dad has
business dealings with him.

What would Roiderman be doing
building a nuclear reactor...

in the middle of
the Amazon jungle?

Did you see that?
Did you see what he did?

Nazis, Hannibal!
They're Nazis!

They are the new Reich.

Strong, able and undefeatable.

What do you intend
to do now, Smith?

Take them all on?
Just the four of you...

two women, and a lame?

What will become
of The A-Team in its...

desperate attempt to stave off
worldwide disaster?

Will good triumph over evil?

Will Rocky Racoon be reunited
with Little Nell?

These and other questions will be answered
in the next exciting chapter of...

"The Führer The Better."

I can't believe
Carlos Roiderman's a n*zi.

You know, my dad
always suspected him...

Roiderman's background
being so obscure.

But who would've guessed he built his
empires with monies he must have...

spirited away when he escaped
Germany at the end of the w*r.

We got to stop them, Hannibal.

We'd never stand a chance
of defeating them.

You'll die trying, my dear.

If that's what it takes.

Well, what's your plan, Colonel?

We've got to destroy
that reactor.

Ah! How?

Well, now Face, it'd be
nice if we had some help.

But we have surprise, and a
touch of lunacy on our side.

That be true.

How many men do you need?

I counted about 20 of them.
They're well armed.

With us, six more
would make it interesting.

Wait. I can
get you these men.

You can?

I can't. My father can.

- Wait, your father?
- Yeah.

Who's your...

He's not!

Think about it, Coffin.

Now, put that hand
up in the air.

Both of them.

Now, slowly...

put your leg on the ground.

Señor...

you are the man with many lives.

Like the cat, no?

I'm the one with the g*n
with many b*ll*ts.

You intrigue me, señor.

How come you passed...

our perimeter guard and alarms?

- Your daughter showed us.
- No!

- I had to, Papa.
- If they hurt you.

No! No!

They captured Doyle.

You are something,
señor. You are!

We must work with them.

We must help them stop what
is happening up river.

I see you got
your boat in the water.

- We could use it.
- Of course, señor.

But of course.
Anything you say.

Now you can trust me, no?

You don't realty trust this pile
of pig slop, do you, Hannibal?

If we've got any chance of...

destroying that n*zi generator
we don't have much choice.

And...

if you talk
that way about him...

you may not live
to date his daughter.

Explain that to me.

Tell me how something
like that...

could have produced
something like this.

The world is full of wonders.

My men are ready, Señor Smith.

But what you tell us...

better be true.

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't.

To think all this time
I was helping these n*zi pigs.

Yeah, it's not nearly the same
as sinking people's boats...

and robbing them for
money and fun, is it?

All right, let's do it!

I'll see you on the flip side.

Hannibal, you can't
leave us behind.

Not at this point.

Somehow I feel I owe
Señor Roiderman.

You've done enough.

Your leg would hold us back.

Besides, in case
we don't come back...

somebody's got to tell
the world what happened.

Colonel Smith...

do not try to leave me behind.

I wouldn't think of it,
sweetheart. Climb aboard.

And you come, too, mi amigo.

You will get the thriller, no?

- Still no word from Doyle?
- No, sir.

We will keep working until
the supplies are exhausted.

By then the girl should have
arrived with the rest of the load.

Why she did not have it all the
first time is my question...

and one I hope Doyle
is prepared to answer.

Cease fire!

Cease fire!

You didn't get
a building permit...

from our executive offices, pal.

We're going to have to
close you down.

Who in hell are you?

The A-Team!

Come on, let's go!

Got to get this chopper.

Pick you up later, Roiderman.

- It was a battle, no?
- Yeah.

They mess with
the wrong people, eh?

Your dad and I are
going to get along great.

If we ever get out
of this jungle.

What you mean, muchacho?
We take my...

My boat!

I love it when a plan
comes together.

Okay, we're all set.

B.A. and Face,
you'll be the ushers.

- Murdock, you'll be taking the--
- The movies, yes--

This will be my first
wedding ceremony...

as the captain
of the Desayuno Domingo...

that I shall perform...

with great sincerity...

and for a slight fee,
the ceremony.

I'll pay you $100.

Like we agreed.

Señor, for a man...

who has discovered
a lost city...

for a man who worth
a king's ransom...

I would strongly suggest...

that these arrangements
be reconsidered.

Which brings up the
consideration of our fee.

We normally take 10%
of any recovered items.

In this case,
that's 10% of the lost city.

With all its gold, and jewels...

and archeological treasures.

We'll pass
on the Indian skulls...

bone rattles, you know,
stuff like that.

I think that's fair enough.

And perhaps as a gift
to the captain...

who shall perform...

this glorious
wedding ceremony...

five additional percents?

Three.

Done.

The wedding ceremony
shall proceed!

The funeral is cancelled.

Oh, her mother and I do.

Brian Lefcourt...

I do.

Tawnia Baker...

I do.

This good-looking one...

he has a part of
the ten percents, Cardina.

I am thinking maybe...

we could have this man
in the family, no?

I will do my best.

Thanks, Hannibal.

I'll never forget you guys.

Felicitations, kid.

It was good having you around.
Congratulations.

Thank you.

Tawnia and I'll write you and let you
know how the excavations are going.

How long before we
see any of the money?

Well, you know
how these things are.

Could be five, six years maybe.

Just to find where it's hidden.

These things
are very complicated.

The ancients were very devious.

Five, six years?

- Hey, maybe seven.
- Hey.

Now, we will dance
and make noise.

Sorry man, but I don't dance.

That was muy bueno.
Bueno, Señor Coffin!

It was a mucho monumental
wedding ceremony.

I just can't wait
till we stop rehearsing...

and start sh**ting this--

Are you crazy, fool?

I'll give you
all my lunch money...

and a free screen pass,
leave me alone!

Cut!