04x15 - Thelma's African Romance: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

♪ Good Times ♪

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♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Anytime You feel free ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Anytime you're
Out from under ♪

♪ Not getting hassled
Not getting hustled ♪

♪ Keeping your
head Above water ♪

♪ Making a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

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♪ Easy credit Rip-offs ♪

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♪ Scratching And surviving ♪

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♪ Hanging in A chow line ♪

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♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good Times ♪♪

Voilà!

And there goes the K,
and the ebony genius

has won another
grueling game of Scrabble!

Hey, hold on a minute, J.J.,

there's no such
word as a "snerk."

Ah, yes, it is, Michael.
It's a ferocious flea.

Whoever heard of a
dog having snerks?

Michael, they don't get on dogs.

Snerks are from Africa.
They only get on gorillas,

and nobody tries
to knock them off.

J.J., you're just
making that up.

Hey, brother, check
it out, check it out.

I will.

Well, let me take down here,
and take a well-deserved rest.

Oh, no, you don't. Will
you get off the couch?

Ma, make him get up!

All right, J.J., get up.

Thelma's friends'll
be here soon,

and the one thing
this couch don't need

is a bony cushion.

But, Ma, I was just
about to meditate,

to experience a growth
of consciousness.

If you don't get up,

you're gonna experience
a growth of knots.

Yeah? Is that a thr*at?

No, that's a promise.
Your face is a thr*at.

Get up!

You got some nerve,
with that old face you call...

You better get up!

All right, all right!

You two, squash it!

J.J., I said, get up.

Aw, Ma, how come
her Black Student Union

got to meet here?

You know, this
ain't no union hall.

It ain't no concert
hall, either.

So quit singing the
blues and get your butt up.

Well, J.J., I was right.

I looked, and I couldn't find
any such word as a "snerk."

And you know why, Michael?

I'll tell you why.

Because you're looking
in the old dictionary.

A snerk is one of them new fleas

in one of them new
African countries.

Hey, Michael, one of the guys
who's coming to the meeting

is from Africa,

and you can ask him
about J.J.'s weirdo flea.

Hey, you mean, a
real African from Africa

is gonna be here this afternoon?

Mm-hmm. All right.

Oh, Thelma, that
sounds exciting.

I can hardly wait to meet him.

Well, you might not
like meeting him, Ma.

He is the world's
greatest male chauvinist.

Hi, y'all.

ALL: Hi, Willona!

How you doing? Thelma,
here's the dip for the meeting.

Willona, you didn't have to
go to the trouble to make this.

Honey, I didn't. I bought
that from the store.

The last dip I made
was like quicksand.

The Fritos wouldn't go in
there without life jackets.

Well, you've made this
look like a training table

for the Chicago Bears.

Don't you have to feed the
entire Black Student Union?

No, no. This is just a meeting
with the action committee.

We're supposed to try to
change some of the conditions

in the cafeteria.
Oh... Hold on, Thelma.

You mean, all the injustices

black people are suffering
throughout the world,

and you turkeys are starting
a revolution in the cafeteria?

Michael, three students
got ptomaine poisoning.

Wow, that sounds
like my old lunchroom.

There was always
something brown in the soup.

It tasted terrible, but did
a heck of a backstroke.

Well, every Friday

they serve us leftovers
from the whole week,

ground up, b*rned up,

and covered up with
some lumpy sauce.

Now, watch your mouth.

That's what I'm making
for dinner tonight.

Willona...

Thelma, have you complained
to anybody about this?

Yeah, we tried
complaining to the dean,

but his assistant blocked us.

He said, "Students are in
school to learn, not to eat."

That's funny.

Lunch was always
my best subject.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

I got it.

Hi, Thelma.

Oh, hi, Ibe. Come on in.

Let me take your coat.

Everybody, this is
one of the members

of the Black Student
Union, Ibe Wubila.

Ibe, this is my
mother... Hello, Ibe.

And my brothers,
Michael and J.J.,

and our best friend,
Willona Woods.

I'm delighted to meet everyone,

especially the lovely ladies.

Um, are you the one from Africa?

Yes, I am.

Habari gani.

What?

Habari gani.

Um, that's Swahili for,
"What's happening?"

Didn't you know that?

[CHUCKLING]

Swahili is spoken mostly
in East Africa, Michael.

I'm from Nigeria, and
that's in West Africa,

and our official
language is English.

Well, uh, why don't
we all just sit down.

Ibe... Thank you.

Well, look here, Ibe, my man.

With all that warm,
colorful climate you got there

in Nigeria,

why'd you leave there
to come to the cold,

dull climate of Chicago?

My father owns a textile plant.

I'm here taking an
advanced business course,

so I can learn how to
run it more efficiently.

He's working on
his Master's degree.

I hope you don't
mind my saying this,

but you are two of the
most beautiful women

I have seen in America
since I've been here.

Well...

How can we mind
you telling it like it is?

[LAUGHING]

If that's chauvinism,

I don't mind being chauved.

And you, Mrs. Evans... Yes?

You have the same graceful
features as my mother

and other elegant
women of my tribe.

Oh, thank you, Ibe.

I'm very flattered.

Hey, Ma, maybe you
have some ancestors

from Nigeria.

You know, come to think of it,

there was an uncle

on my mother's side in Georgia

whose father lived in Tennessee,

but whose grandmother
came from Virginia...

Excuse me for interrupting

the Evans version of Roots,

but I've got to run.
I'll see you later.

Nice to have met you, Ibe.

The pleasure was all mine.

Whoo, honey!

If all the men in Africa
are as suave as you,

I am ready to pack up and
scram on the next Pan Am. Whoo!

Ibe, have you ever
heard of an African insect

called a snerk?

A what?

Michael, don't bother this
man with small, petty questions.

Childish questions.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Childish.

Hi.

Oh, Valerie, Richard.

Come on in. Take off your coats.

Hi, Thelma. How are you doing?

Yeah. That's my mother.

VALERIE: Hello, Mrs. Evans.

Hello. I'm delighted
to meet you both.

Well, Thelma, I'm
going to my room,

but if you need
any help, just yell.

Okay, Ma, and this is
my brother Michael...

Hey, what's happening?
And my brother...

And I'm her brother James.

Better known as
the Dr. J. of Love.

What do you say me and
you fast break down the court

and go for a game of one on one?

Why don't you take
your game to the hoop

and stuff it?

Hey, Michael, I may
have missed a sh*t,

but I'm in perfect position
for the offensive rebound.

Well, ordinarily I'd
stay and listen, Thelma,

but I gotta meet
somebody at the library.

Nice meeting y'all.

All right, everybody, let's sit
down and start the meeting.

Good. I'm ready to go to w*r.

Swallowing that cafeteria
food is like eating a live grenade.

Uh, J.J., don't you
have someplace to go?

Oh, don't worry
about me, Thelma,

you won't even
know I'm in the room.

Quiet as a little mouse.

So let us begin the meeting.

Well, you know, the first
move I think we ought to make...

J.J.!

Pardon moi.

Thelma, you have a
very strange brother.

Okay, now who's
gonna keep the minutes?

Uh, that should be
either you or Valerie.

Now, I have a plan that...

Well, hey, wait.
Wait a minute, Ibe.

Wait a minute!

What do you mean,

it should be either
me or Valerie?

Well, keeping minutes
is secretarial work.

In my country,
that's woman's work.

[LAUGHING]

Yeah, but you're
not in your country,

you in this country,

and that woman's
work stuff is dead.

Thank you, Thelma.

We ain't here to
fight each other.

The enemy is the cafeteria.

He's right, and what we have
to do is speak to that dean,

and the way it looks,
that's not about to happen...

It can happen if we
hold a demonstration.

Right!

We sneak down to
the cafeteria after dark

and blow that sucker up!

Richard, we wanna
change the cafeteria,

we don't wanna destroy it.

Oh...

Well, destroying it
definitely will change it.

Thank you, brother.

Oh, come on,
Richard. That's dumb.

Nobody's going for that.

Hey, I know what we could
do. We can hold a boycott.

And we can picket outside
until we get some results.

Yeah, and I'll paint the signs.

J.J., are you a sign painter?

Look here, Mama, I'm
a master sign painter.

Matter of fact, I've just
been struck with a vision.

I can see it now...

A gigantic deceased fly,
laying straight on his back,

legs stiff as a board,

with a caption
underneath reading,

"I ate in the school cafeteria."

J.J., that is very heavy.

Ah, you know what
they say, Mama.

Some of us are blessed,
and the rest flunk the test.

Well, that's a D-minus
for you... clown.

So, all in favor of a boycott?

Aye. Aye. Aye.

Not me!

Boycotts are passive!

We've gotta do something
more aggressive!

All right, then.

While we're outside picketing,

you go inside, and you
punch out the Jell-O.

Listen, since we are
agreed to boycott,

we must choose a
spokesman to handle the media.

Okay.

Thelma organized this
committee, so I nominate her.

Oh, no, that won't work.
Thelma is a woman.

So what?

So a spokesman is also a leader,

and only men were meant to lead.

Oh, yeah?

Well, somebody better
lead you back to the jungle!

Well, it's obvious

that a woman's tongue gets
more usage than her brain.

[INAUDIBLE]

Man, we're gonna get it on now!

That's beautiful, brother!

Thelma, is everything all right?

I thought I heard
some commotion.

No, Ma, everything's fine.

We just had a little
minor disagreement, here.

Okay, now, everybody.
Why don't you go and eat.

The food is right
there on the table.

Enjoy yourselves.

That was beautiful, brother.

Where'd you get
that from, Kipling?

Thelma, did you decide
what to do about the cafeteria?

Uh-huh, we're gonna boycott, Ma.

Boycott?

Now, Thelma, I don't
want you to do anything

that's gonna jeopardize
your scholarship.

Ma, don't worry, most of
us are there on scholarships.

So it's gonna be
very, very peaceful.

Oh, honey, I know how
important your boycott is,

but you must remember

that there are more
important things at stake.

Thelma... What do you want?

I-I want to apologize.

It's very difficult for a man
to go to another country,

and not to take his
customs and values with him.

Hmm, tell me all about it.

Valerie's right.

You've organized this committee,

and you'd be a very
good spokeswoman.

Spokesperson.

Ah, spokesperson.

Please accept my apology
for making you angry.

Okay, I accept.

I guess I have a little
apologizing to do too

about that jungle remark.

I'm sorry.

Listen, we all say
things that we don't mean

when we're provoked.

So let's eat, shall we?

Ladies first.

Persons first.

ALL: Save our stomachs!

Save our stomachs!

Hey, Thelma!

Thelma, this boycott
is really working!

How about that?

Even the roaches stayed out.

The dean'll have
to talk to us now!

Hey, hold it, hold it, hold it.

Our time may have come.

His assistant, Mr. Rogers,
is heading this way.

Well, well, well.

I suppose there's a leader
to this little insurrection.

Uh, yes.

I'm Thelma Evans, spokesperson
for the cafeteria boycott.

Well, Miss Evans, spokesperson,

I've been ordered by the dean
to tell you and your comrades

to end this little
demonstration now.

Well, we're not
gonna stop picketing

until the dean hears
our grievances.

[PROTESTERS CLAMORING]
That's not about to happen.

Why won't the dean talk with us?

Because there's
nothing to talk about.

Now, either you pack up
your little signs and move out,

or I'll have the campus
police clear you out.

One of them suckers
put his hands on me,

he'll draw back a nub.

[LAUGHING AND SHOUTING]

Hey, we're not breaking any laws

by picketing, y'all.

Come on, let's keep on marching.

PROTESTERS: Save our
stomachs! Save our stomachs!

For the last time, end
this demonstration now!

Looky here, Mr. Boss Man,

you run on up to the big house

and tell Master
we said, "No way!"

Now, that's enough out of you,

and don't you
talk to me like that.

I'm the assistant dean.

You act more like
the assistant fool.

And who said that?

Your mama!

[LAUGHING AND CHEERING]

That did it!

Now, I'm taking
all of your names,

and I'm putting this
insubordination on your records.

Well, that's what you'd expect
from a stupid Uncle Tom.

I heard you, Miss Evans.

I heard you.

Now, you are suspended
from this university,

right here and now! WOMAN: What?

Now, how do you like
that from your Uncle Tom?

Hey, Thelma, smile it up.

[GIBBERING]

Oh, J.J... Hey, come on, Thelma.

Let me tell you something
from the bottom of my heart.

The last few weeks,

you've been a bigger
drag than usual,

all because you got
kicked out of school.

I mean, what's the big deal?

It happened to Einstein, Edison,

and if you can
believe this, even me.

You didn't see me walking around

with my face all wrinkled up,

like some old, tired prune.

J.J., that's because your
face was already wrinkled up

like some old, tired prune.

Thelma, come back here.

Ma, I know what
you're gonna say.

Well, listen anyway.

Now, your counselor
and I just had a long talk,

and according to her,

you can get back in
school any time you want.

Any time I want
to do it their way.

What does that mean?

She says you just have
to apologize to Mr. Rogers

and sign a statement

that you won't take part in
any more demonstrations.

That's asking me to go to
school and not react to anything,

like some kind of zombie!

Hey, I zombied in
school for four years.

It worked for me.

J.J., this is serious.

Thelma, your
scholarship is at stake.

Ma, I'd rather lose
the scholarship

than have them take
away my freedom of speech

and right to protest!

Well, Ma, I agree with Thelma.

If you don't stand
for something,

you'll fall for anything.

Standing for principles is fine,

but Thelma is jeopardizing
her whole future.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Well, my sister the martyr.

The French had Joan of Arc,
and we got Thelma of the Ghetto.

Hey.

Come on in, bro.

Good evening, Mrs. Evans.

Hello, Ibe.

You look troubled.

I'm fine, Ibe.

It's Thelma who has the problem.

She's suffering from a
hardening of the head.

You know, she still
won't do anything

to get herself back into school.

I wish I could say something
to help, Mrs. Evans,

but I've been suspended
from the university too.

What?

Well, sounds like they're having

a spring clearance
sale on blacks,

both domestic and imported.

Ibe, why were you suspended?

Was it because of
the demonstrations?

Oh, not really, Mrs. Evans.

This morning we
met with the dean

to air our complaint,

and somehow, Thelma's
suspension came up.

He and I began to argue

over the terms of
her reinstatement.

Well, he called it fair,

and became offended when
I questioned his ancestry.

Well, Ibe got down!

Ibe, you were suspended
because of me?

I only spoke out for
what was fair, Thelma.

I'm a man of principle.

Principles are becoming
as contagious around here

as the mumps.

But I can't let it go at that.
I've gotta thank you somehow.

Well, if you feel
that way about it,

you can thank me by having
dinner with me this evening.

Dinner?

Good. I'll pick you up at 7:00.

Hey, wait a minute.
What if I say "No"?

Well, in that case,
I'll pick you up at 6:30.

Oh, now, that was nothing.

Now, the big shock came
when Fanny found out

that that plum-red lipstick
on her husband's shirt

was his very own.

You know what I mean?

Flo?

Florida Evans, where are you?

Oh, I'm sorry, Willona.

I just can't quit
thinking about Thelma.

You know, she still wouldn't
do what they asked her to do

to get herself back into school.

She's going lose that
scholarship for sure.

Well, she hasn't lost it yet.

She could still change her mind.

Her mind is the big problem.

All she's got on it is Ibe.

Well, honey, I can't
hardly blame her.

Ooh, child, he is so fine.

He could charm the
pants off of anybody.

What?

Uh, well... Well,
what I mean is,

he's really got
his act together.

Oh, don't get me
wrong. I trust Thelma.

What bothers me

is how fast her head is
spinning over that man.

Flowers for the
beautiful young ladies.

Oh, flowers for me?
J.J., you shouldn't have.

Oh, no, no. Whose are they?

These are for Thelma.

I got them downstairs,
from the delivery man.

Well, how come he
didn't deliver them?

Fear. He says every time he
comes to this neighborhood,

he doesn't know whether

he's going to be
delivering roses

or pushing up daisies.

Well, I wonder who they're from.

Uh, they're from Ibe,

and wait till y'all
read this note.

Hot! Whoo!

Oh, J.J., that card
was for Thelma.

Now, you had absolutely
no business reading it.

Your mother's absolutely right.

You're just too nosy
for your own good.

What does it say?
What does it say?

Well, due to my new-found
respect for Thelma's privacy,

my lips are sealed.

Hi, everybody!

Hi.

Uh, how do you
like my new hairdo?

Oh, Thelma, honey, it's lovely.

You like it?

Oh, yes.

It's beautiful, honey.

A friend of Ibe's did it for me.

Girl, looks like your scalp
is sprouting black spaghetti.

J.J., you have about
as much class...

Ooh, flowers! Whose flowers?

They're yours.

Roses! They're beautiful.

I wonder what this card says.

Uh, "Thelma, may
your dancing eyes

always shine like
they did last night..."

J.J.!

"When I held you
tightly in my arms."

You are just too nosy.

I swear, you are so nosy!

Come on, baby. We
have got to have a talk.

Flo, Flo.

It's all right. Take it easy.

Ma, you're right.

There is something
you should know.

What is it? What!

I'm thinking about
changing my name.

You can't. "Godzilla's"
already taken.

Well, which name
are you changing,

your first or your last?

Both.

I'm thinking of taking
an African name,

Bisa Akua.

"Bisa" means "greatly loved"

and "Akua" means
"sweet messenger."

I get the message, all right,

and I think this African
number has gone too far.

Now, I like Ibe, and I
respect his tradition,

but you're getting carried away

because he was suspended
from school sticking up for you.

Ma, I'm not getting
carried away.

Then how come your eyes
are shining and dancing?

Oh, Ma, you know guys.

They'll say anything.

She's got that right, honey.

Most of the dudes I date

talk enough trash
to fill two Hefty bags.

You're right.

I suppose if there were really
anything to their relationship,

she would say so.

With a smile as big
as Jimmy Carter's.

I mean, Thelma is
a level-headed girl.

She wouldn't get
involved without telling me.

You would know
it before he would.

And like you said, it's just
a novelty that'll wear off.

Quicker than a pet rock.

So I really don't have
anything to worry about.

That's what I keep telling you.

So why the hell am I worried?

Mm, you're delicious.

Well, that's what they
say about brown sugar.

You know, the last few
weeks I've spent with you

have been unlike
any I've spent before.

Well, I can dig that.

I mean it.

In my country, you
would be a queen.

Mm-mm. In your country,
a position that important

could only be held by a man.

No.

In our constitution,
the queen's position

is clearly defined
as woman's work.

Oh, it's funny that we
can joke about that.

Just a few weeks ago,

we were at each other's throats.

Now look at us.

Oh, I'd rather look at you.

Go ahead. I don't mind.

Thelma... I love you.

I thought you would
never say that.

Then you knew?

No, I hoped,
because I love you too.

Oh, Thelma, Thelma.

Oh...

I don't know how I
could live without you.

I want to see you, touch
you, adore you all the time.

Oh, Ibe, I feel the same way.

Thelma... I want
us to live together.

Live together?

Yes, I want to be with
you all day and all night.

Oh, Ibe... um...

Living together.

Whoo, that... That's
a... That's a big step.

I... You know...

I mean, d-don't you
love me, Thelma?

Oh, I love you,
Ibe, but it... It's like...

You know, I, uh...
But... But all we need

is just to share our
mutual love together.

Well, I... I... It's
not like that...

Thelma, please, say you love me.

Oh, Ibe. I... Please,
please, please.

I love you, but I...

Oh, Ibe.

Yes, yes, yes!

Yes.

Oh, it's going to be fantastic.

You know, in my country,
we have a saying...

"When a man and a
woman love as one,

they cast a mighty
shadow on eternity."

Well, in my country,
we have a saying too.

When Ma hears about
me and my shadow...

the grits are gonna hit the pan.

♪ Mmm... ♪

♪ Just looking
Out of the window ♪

♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinking how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Keeping your
head Above water ♪

♪ Making a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is
videotaped in front of a studio audience.

♪ Good Times ♪♪