06x13 - High Times

[bunniefuu]

(SIREN BLARING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

They're not playing games, Matt.

If I don't give them some
money, they're gonna bust me up.

That's sludge, Poncherello,
and you know it.

You're here because you
once busted me for auto theft.

And you're hoping to hang
me for this one, too, huh?

Benny got picked up last night.

- I think someone's been tipping them off.
- New kid?

Tipping off the cops?
Why would I do that?

There's only one
way to find out.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Freeway's nice and quiet.

And boring!

Bobby, when are you gonna
learn, life isn't all action?

Sometimes you gotta
stop and smell the roses.

Smell the roses? On the freeway?

Forget it, partner.
It's just a saying.

Let's go!

- (CAR ALARM BLARING)
- (HORN HONKING)

Take out the alarm.

- (ALARM CONTINUES BLARING)
- (HORN CONTINUES HONKING)

- It's coming from over there.
- In the lot.

(POLICE SIREN BLARING)

Space invaders at three o'clock.

Come on, let's go.

- My tokens!
- Get in!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(HORN HONKING)

(SIREN CONTINUES BLARING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(NELSON SIGHS)

Is that enough action
for you, partner?

Ponch, look, a rose.

It's nice.

You wanted to see us, Sarge?

Yes, come in, Frank, Bobby.

I was just going over your
report of this latest car theft,

and I wanted to
congratulate you.

- Congratulate us?
- Yes.

In the past six weeks, there's been a
sudden upswing in stolen muscle cars.

Firebirds, Camaros, Mustangs.

Which suggests the work of a
well-organized ring of thieves.

And of all my officers, you two

are the only ones to get close
enough to reach out and grab them.

Uh, but we missed.

Frank, if Reggie Jackson hit a home
run every time he came up to bat,

he wouldn't be any
fun to watch, would he?

That's right.

Unfortunately, the Captain hates
baseball. He's a football man.

Uh, what you're saying
is the clock is still ticking.

Right. It's late in the
fourth quarter, Frank.

It's time for that
game-saving tackle.

So, um, go out there and
win one for the Captain.

We'll do our best,
Coach. Let's go, water boy.

I don't know
what it's all about!

And even if I did know what it
was all about, I wouldn't tell you.

- What's what about?
- Roxanne.

Who's Roxanne?

A girl who's been
calling here for Harlan.

With a voice like hot fudge dripping
off a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

(LAUGHTER)

When did you meet her, Harlan?

I didn't meet
her, that's just it.

I don't even know how she got my
name, and furthermore, I don't care!

Now, if you'll excuse me, some
of us around here have work to do.

Harlan, the garage is this way.

- I know where the garage is.
- (LAUGHTER)

Hey, Ponch, these tokens you
found where the Mustang was stolen...

What do you suppose
they were used for?

Money.

We figured that much,
Grossie. But where?

Well, first I thought they
might be used for the subway.

But we don't have a
subway in Los Angeles.

And we don't have trolleys
here anymore either, or...

Grossie.

Video arcades, Ponch.

These are used to play the games.
And you see this design here?

Yeah.

Well, I checked with this
company that makes tokens,

and these are used at the
Castle Arcade in Sherman Oaks.

- Thanks, Grossie.
- Yeah.

(CONSOLES BEEPING)

PONCH: I think we
entered The Twilight Zone.

It's just your average,
run-of-the-mill space arcade.

Welcome to Castle Arcade.

Tokens are 25 cents each,
five for $1 or a roll of 30 for $5.

With a roll you get a
free Video Fantasy button.

They'd look great
next to your badges.

I don't think our Sergeant
would agree with you.

Besides, we already got a token.

- Are these from your place?
- They sure are.

Well, have fun. And if you
need any more, just holler.

- Miss?
- Melanie.

Melanie. Uh, we're looking for
two guys who might've lost this.

- Oh, what do they look like?
- PONCH: Well, that's the problem.

We didn't see them, but they
must come here to play the games.

Oh, wow, are you kidding me? Do
you know how many guys come here?

Thousands!

We're only a block away
from the prep school.

- Which one?
- Parkdale High. I go there myself.

Look, I better see if
anybody else needs change.

- See you.
- Thank you.

- Parkdale High, huh.
- What about it?

I know somebody who teaches
there. John Casey. Auto shop.

- How do you know him?
- I arrested him four years ago.

Grand theft auto.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
- (MUSIC PLAYING)

(GIRL WHOOPING)

I don't know, Myron. I know she likes me,
but I don't think she'll ever ask me out.

I asked her out
for Friday night.

She said she's booked
solid through Christmas.

Christmas '86!

Got a cinch in the third race tonight.
12-to-1, and guaranteed to win by a mile.

Yeah, just like the cinch
you had last night, Benny?

No, man, this is different.

This is for, you know,
members of the family only.

Blood relations.

Yeah.

Come on, Matt, can't you
lend me $100 till tomorrow?

Are you telling me you lost
your cut from the last car already?

It's not like that. I got a
little behind with my bookie,

and he was waiting
outside of my house today.

My old man would've
k*lled me if he found out.

(SIGHS)

Hey, that's all right, man, no problem.
No sweat. See you around class.

10 bucks, next leaf that
falls lands shiny side down.

20?

(SIGHS)

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hey, don't sh**t. We give up.

(EXCLAIMING)

GIRL: Come on, you guys.

Which way to the auto shop?

Hey, I'm no snitch.
Hey, don't hit me! Whack!

They hit me!

Give the CHiPs a break, stupid.

I think I saw it that way.

Thanks a lot.

(ENGINES REVVING)

(BLOW-TORCH HISSING)

Hi, Casey.

- This is my new partner, Bobby Nelson.
- What can I do for you?

Uh, we were hoping you
could give us some help.

What kind of help?

We're investigating a series
of auto thefts, muscle cars.

The kind usually worth more
chopped up for parts than whole.

But why come to me?

- We figured maybe you heard something.
- Heard?

(CLANGING)

The reason for your being here is you
wanna ask me if I've heard something, huh?

That's sludge, Poncherello,
and you know it.

You're here because you
once busted me for auto theft.

And you're hoping to hang
me for this one, too, huh?

That's not true,
Casey, and you know it.

Isn't it?

I mean, just because you
helped me get an early release

by speaking to the parole board.

That should tell you something.

I'll tell you what it tells
me, that I paid my debt.

I just wanna be left alone.

That's fine with us, Casey,
but we've got a job to do.

And we'd appreciate it if you
hear anything, you'll let us know.

You guys can forget that. You
want a snitch, you got the wrong man.

Casey, between you and
me, that's high school talk.

(INDISTINCT WHISPERING)

Hey, teach, don't
let them get to you.

(SCOFFS) Who me?

No way.

Well, Ponch, what do you think?

Well, I'm not sure, Bobby,
but I got this hinky feeling

something is rotten
at Parkdale High.

The question is how do we get
on the inside to find out what?

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

- Uh, run this by me again!
- Sarge, it's as simple as one, two, three.

One, we're looking for a
couple of teenage car thieves.

Two, these tokens are from a video
arcade a block away from Parkdale High.

Three, the auto shop teacher there
once served time for grand theft auto.

And four, someone young, bright,
eager, charming, with good police sense,

could probably go
undercover at Parkdale High,

and find out what's going on.

Where are we gonna
find such a man?

Sarge, you're looking at him.

(SIGHS) I don't know.
It could be dangerous.

Sarge, my brother and I are
both willing to take that chance.

Well, sure you are.

But what happens if the kid
gets hurt? Who gets blamed? Me.

Yeah, but if he succeeds,
you also get the credit.

(SIGHS)

He's gonna need a backup.

- That's us.
- (CLICKS TONGUE)

- You know, it just could work.
- All right.

Hey, you be careful, huh.

Thanks, Sarge.

- Ooh. Excuse me.
- Harlan, are you all right?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

He's been walking into walls ever
since he got that letter from Roxanne.

Oh, yeah? What's it say?

She can hardly wait
to meet me in person.

- She even gave him a picture.
- Yeah, look.

Oh, Harlan, she's beautiful.

I think I saw her on the
cover of a magazine once.

She sure fills out
that bathing suit.

PONCH: She must be 6 feet tall.

Yeah, but wait till she
looks down and sees Harlan.

For those of you who make up in
height what you lack in knowledge,

the history books are
filled with tall women

who've been attracted
to shorter men.

Josephine to
Napoleon, for example.

Emperor...

I know where the garage is.

(ENGINE REVVING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

- Who's the new kid?
- Never saw him before.

He's a real hot dog.

You guys know
where I can find...

- Excuse me, I'm looking for...
- I'm late for my etiquette class.

- I'll catch you at the Grease Hop.
- Yeah.

- You need some help?
- You bet.

- I'm looking for Homeroom 3.
- That's my homeroom.

- Come on, I'll show you.
- Thank you.

- My name's Melanie. What's yours?
- Bruce. Bruce Hickok.

- Hickok. Like Wild Bill?
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

We just finished studying
him in American History.

Maybe I should trade
in my bike for a horse.

(CHUCKLES) Your bike is awesome.

Anyways, you can't
do a wheelie on a horse.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

I thought you were gonna
meet me at my locker.

- I guess I forgot.
- Forgot?

Pretty face, you're
my girl, aren't you?

- Yeah, Matt, I'm your girl.
- Well, then...

- She was just showing me to my homeroom.
- Oh, was she?

He's new, Matt.
This is his first day.

In that case, there's a couple
of things you should learn.

Number one, I'm number one.

- Big man on campus, huh?
- Yeah. The biggest.

Best-looking, the
one to watch out for.

Now if you wanna change
things, all you do is try something.

Look, all I wanna do is find
my way to my homeroom.

Hey! Get your hands off me!

- You just bought big trouble, geek!
- Take your best sh*t, pal.

100 bucks says Matt
punches his lights out!

Hey, cool it, tigers.

You guys want some action,
come out for the girls' soccer team.

They'll take you apart.

All right, everybody,
show's over.

How come we don't get this kind of
turnout for our football games, huh?

Maybe you should try
winning for a change.

I took 30 points and
still got clobbered.

Cute. Real cute.

I'll see you around, geek.

I'm here almost every day.

Let's go, baby.

Welcome to Parkdale High.

Thanks.

PONCH: Let's check out the car
wash. Maybe Murph knows something.

NELSON: Why don't you
just write the snitch off?

And lose 20 hard-earned
bucks? Forget it!

Why do I always
get the hard part?

Because I'm the specialist,
and you're the hands.

Brenda, sometimes you
ask some dumb questions.

Oh, no!

I was hoping to
run into you guys.

NELSON: Let's go.
PONCH: Come on, dude.

So you'll give us back
the 20 bucks you owe us?

- What 20 bucks?
- The money we paid you last week.

For telling us about the fence who
was handling those stolen car phones.

Well, I gave you the name.

The L.A.P.D. busted the
group the night before.

- You're kidding.
- Oh, you didn't know?

Come on, this is me.
Murph, your friend.

Do you think I'd have charged
you for public information?

Yes.

Yes.

Okay, I owe you
one. Catch me later.

We caught you now.

Okay, what do you want?

There's a new midnight
auto parts operation in town.

Muscle cars.

We wanna know
who, what and where.

That's a lot of
wants for 20 bucks.

Hey, Murph, it's not the
money, it's the friendship.

- I'll see what I can do.
- All right.

Let me have the
number for Parkdale High.

- (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

Well, how do you
like Parkdale so far?

It's okay, I guess. One
school's like another.

The teachers are different,
but the homework's the same.

Yeah, drag city.

That's why I'm thinking of packing
up my locker and moving on.

Dropping out?

Sure, why not?

What are you gonna do?

There's a whole world out
there, and I wanna see all of it.

That takes money though.

- Well, I'll get a job.
- Doing what?

I can do a lot of things. Maybe
I'll go into show business.

I'm terrific on skates.

Maybe I'll team up with a partner
and work the new wave clubs.

Looks like he didn't
believe you this morning.

You work?

Part-time. Doesn't everyone?

- Not Matt.
- That's your boyfriend, huh?

I guess so.

You don't sound
too happy about it.

Well, Matt's nice. Maybe
a little conceited at times.

But he really knows how
to show a girl a good time.

He's got class.

He must have rich parents, too.

Mmm-mmm, welfare city.

Where does he
get his money from?

He has ways, I guess. I
never really asked him.

Guess I'll have to have another
talk with him today after school, huh.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

- Ah!
- (LAUGHTER)

Hut one! Hut two! Hike!

Check this out, Coach.

MYRON: Here goes
Myron Handlebaum.

Bursting off the line of
scrimmage, past seven lockers.

- Back.
- Past eight lockers.

- Way back.
- Past nine lockers and a water fountain.

It's unrolling! He leaps.
Makes an incredible catch.

Myron Handlebaum is stopped
just short of the end zone.

Hi, Mr. Kovak. Got a
"D" on my math test.

That high! Will
miracles never cease?

- You kidding me?
- No.

- See you Grease Day.
- I'm afraid so.

To think I wanted to
teach at a private school.

- What do you say, Coach? Can you use us?
- Sure.

How about coming around tomorrow
and cleaning up the locker room, huh?

No wonder he's not with
the pros. No eye for talent.

(MYRON YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

Look, you'll get the
money I owe you.

(PANTING) Look, you'll get it!

(BIKE ENGINE REVVING)

PONCH: It's 2:15. Time
to rendezvous with the kid.

Knowing my brother, he's
probably being kept after school.

(BIKE ENGINE REVVING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(SIREN BLARING)

Boy, am I glad to see you guys.

Yeah, that's what
they all say. Come on.

All right, up against
the fence. Spread them.

I've gotta hand it
to you, big brother.

I mean, when it comes to undercover
work, you must've written the book.

The way you roughed me up
just in case they were watching,

that's just state-of-the-art.

Hey, I've got news for you,
Bruce. That wasn't the reason.

It wasn't?

Uh-uh. He's been wanting to rough
you up ever since you were born.

That was just an excuse.

- Is he kidding?
- Sure, he's kidding.

I think you were all about five
before I wanted to rough you up.

(CHUCKLING)

Hey, Grossie.

Did you ever talk to Jim
Casey's parole officer?

I saw him this afternoon. He
says Casey's been a model parolee.

Yeah, according to the
principal, he's a good teacher, too.

Everybody likes him there.

A real choir boy.

Is Harlan here?
He's got a visitor.

You know, Harlan?

- The mechanic?
- Oh, that Harlan.

He's not here, but I am.

- So am I.
- Benjamin Webster, at your service.

Frank Poncherello, but
you can call me Ponch.

Ponch, will you tell me how you can
manage to get three nails in one tire?

- Roxanne!
- Harlan!

I was just in the neighborhood,
and I thought I'd surprise you.

You know, you're every bit
as handsome as I imagined.

- I am?
- You are.

Now, why don't you
show me where you work?

Where I work?

Oh, oh, yes, uh, um.

This way.

ALL: Harlan!

- Who's that?
- PONCH: Josephine and Napoleon.

(CHUCKLES)

There was another Mustang
stolen about a half-hour ago.

A woman said she thought
she saw a couple of young men

hanging around
casing out the car.

Casey.

What is it now, Poncherello?

There was another Mustang
theft, 3:30 this afternoon.

What's that got to do with me? I've
been here since 7:00 this morning.

But your students
were out at 2:00.

What my students do on their
own time is no business of mine.

Then it wouldn't bother you if a
couple of them were stealing cars?

Yes, it would bother me, Poncherello,
but not enough to do your dirty work.

You'd rather take the
fall with them, huh?

What's the matter with you, Poncherello?
You don't have anything on me.

Don't we?

Casey, we checked with
the school purchasing office.

As of the last six weeks, your
acetylene bills have doubled.

The car thefts started
around that time,

and acetylene is what
they use to chop them up.

Now you think about that, Casey.

Or maybe that's what you
were doing when we got here.

(CONSOLE BEEPING)

I won! That's three in a row!

You know, I think
these machines like you.

Well, they should, I feed them enough.
Come on, I'll give you one more chance.

Maybe another time, okay?

Sure, I better get
back to work anyways.

Thanks for stopping by.

They're not playing games, Matt.

If I don't give them some
money, they're gonna bust me up.

You'll get your cut, soon
as we chop up that last car.

BENNY: I need it now!

(SCOFFS) Look,

why don't we go over to
the Tiki Club on Sepulveda?

They've always got a muscle
car or two in the parking lot.

Forget it.

- Let's not push our luck, okay?
- My luck's already pushed.

Back's against the wall, and
I've gotta do something about it.

15-MARY-6 and 7, S-3.

I just heard from our operator,
there's a possible GTA going down

at the Tiki Club on Sepulveda.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

PONCH: He's hot-wiring that car.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

LA-15-MARY-6 and 7.

We have a major accident
at the Tiki Club on Sepulveda.

Roll a paramedic
unit and one fire truck.

DISPATCHER: 10-4, MARY-6 and 7.

PONCH: Come on, let's get
out of here. It's gonna blow.

(FIREWORKS BURSTING)

(FIREWORKS WHISTLING)

Looks like the Fourth of July.

Uh, fourth of July
celebrates freedom.

You're under arrest. Put
your hands on your head.

Come on!

- Where's Benny?
- What do I look like, his keeper?

All right, Murph, lift it out.

Give me a hand with this.

(SIGHS) Yeah.

Great job, Coach.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(MUSIC PLAYING VIA SPEAKERS)

Hey, Mr. Kovak. Aren't you
going to the Grease Hop?

I thought I was already there.

Poor guy doesn't know
where he is anymore.

- I dig your pants, daddy-o.
- It's the cat inside, kitten.

Oh, wow!

Benny got picked up last night.

- The cops?
- No, the Salvation Army.

I think someone's
been tipping them off.

- New kid?
- I'm not sure.

But ever since he showed up

and started getting
friendly with your girlfriend,

things have been going wrong.

Yeah, well, maybe we should
have a little talk with him, huh?

Yeah. Let's do that.

Today.

10-to-1, I don't graduate
with the rest of my class.

Right now, you're
just lucky to be alive.

If you call this lucky,
don't go to the track.

How'd you get mixed up in this?

Junkie steals to
buy dope, right?

I'm a gambling junkie.

I steal to bet on the horses.
Basketball games, football, you name it.

If there's more than one
possibility, I'll take the odds.

- Who's in this with you?
- (SCOFFS) I work alone.

It's too big, Benny.

- Who's your partner?
- No one.

Benny, you almost got k*lled last
night. Your buddy might not be so lucky.

- What buddy?
- GETRAER: Son,

you're young.

You made a mistake and
you're gonna have to pay for it.

But you're gonna get
a chance to start over.

Isn't that what you want?

(EXHALES)

- You know what I want?
- You tell us.

(SIGHS)

To quit gambling. Just to quit.

We'll see you get some help.

Now, who are the others, Benny?

There's a guy named Murph
who... He works at a car wash.

He sells the parts.

Is the chop shop at school?

(CHUCKLES)

We pay off the night custodian.

Who's the boss, Benny?
Who gives the orders?

Coach Hutton.

That clears Casey.

I'll have Webster pick up Murph.

You two better get over to the
school. Grossman will meet you there.

(MUSIC PLAYING VIA SPEAKERS)

- You're terrific.
- It's the Grease.

- I never thought you and I'd be a team.
- We're not.

Hey, Mr. Kovak, you are
really gone, daddy-o! (LAUGHS)

Mrs. Winslow, someday I'm personally
gonna wring Jo-Jo Bonelli's neck.

(MUSIC STOPS)

(ALL GROANING)

Young ladies. Young gentlemen.

Boys, girls!

Fellow Greasers!

(ALL CHEERING)

Thank you. Thank you.

It's the time we've
all been waiting for,

to see who will be King and
Queen of the Grease Hop!

- Okay, now, keep your fingers crossed.
- I am, but it's not me.

And the winners,

for lack of a less
civilized word,

are Kelly Bohak,

(ALL CHEERING)

and, oh, dear, Myron Handlebaum.

I now pronounce
you King and Queen!

Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Kovak,
and all my fellow Greasers,

- who voted for me.
- There you are.

And even those
of you who didn't.

Don't sweat it, pretty face.

Bruce, uh, can I
have a word with you?

In private?

Sure.

Maybe I was wrong
about you, huh?

Maybe, uh, we can do
a little business together.

- (MUSIC CONTINUES)
- All right, let's get it on.

Hey, look, I don't know what
you guys are talking about.

We're talking about you
tipping off the cops about Benny.

Tipping off the cops?
Why would I do that?

Because you're a squealer.

- That's crazy.
- Is it?

There's only one
way to find out.

(GROANS)

- What do we do now?
- Let's get him into the van.

- But he's...
- Come on!

Hey!

Hey, what's going on over there?

Hey, no problem. The
guy... (GRUNTING)

(VAN ENGINE STARTING)

There's a kid named
Bruce in the back of that van.

- There's an officer on his way.
- Thanks a lot, Casey.

Oh, forget it, Poncherello.

(POLICE SIREN BLARING)

LA-15-MARY-6 and 7 are
in pursuit of a white van,

California license
plate, 1E-49911.

West on Sherman Way
between Harper and Sawtelle.

Officer being held hostage.

(HORN HONKING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm all right.

Get out of the van. Put
your hands on your head.

See, Ponch, it's like I said.

The Nelson boys are never
afraid to take a chance.

Nelson boys?

(LAUGHS)

You're right, Bruce. The only
shortcut to a dream is hard work.

Does that mean you're
not gonna quit school?

No way. In fact, I might
even go on to college.

- That's great.
- (GIGGLING)

Thanks for the dance.

And thank you for coming
in to give us your statement.

Hey, glad to see you
back in blues, buddy.

It'll do, till I'm wearing
tans like you guys.

(LAUGHING)

(INDISTINCT WHISPERING)

What's all this?

Everything the single man
needs around the kitchen.

Roxanne sells home products.

Harlan, tell us the truth.
How much did all this cost?

Well, Ponch, if you have
to ask, you can't afford it.

(LAUGHTER)

But I'll tell you this, it
was worth every penny.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)