08x08 - The Wedding Day

[bunniefuu]

♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪

♪ You take 'em both
and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪

♪ You're growin'
now you know about ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be livin' up
to your dreams ♪

♪ Then suddenly
you're findin' out ♪

♪ The facts of
life are all about ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪

♪ When you're learnin'
the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪♪

These are real nice.

Maybe I should buy one of these
bracelets for snake's birthday.

You're thinking of
buying a bracelet

For a guy who works
on a road crew?

It will match his earring.

Do you carry those
solar-powered boxing shorts?

George!

Hey, stranger, where have
you been keeping yourself?

I've been doing some construction
on an apartment building.

It's incredible, you know? A 1-bedroom
apartment is going for 2 grand a month.

How depressing.

Low-rent housing in peekskill.

Yo, george!

Yo, jo.

A picnic? What's the occasion?

Oh, nothing special. I'm just
tutoring enrico in his english today.

Smells great.

Don't tell me you
actually made fried chicken.

Yes, I made it.

Enrico told me he never
had homemade chicken before.

Jo polniaczek cooking?

Going a little
overboard, aren't we?

Oh, come on, all he and george ever
eat at construction sites is junk food.

So I promised him I would
make him something special.

Seems like you two have been
spending an awful lot of time together.

He needs it. English is a very
difficult language to learn.

Look how long it took you.

It just seems strange that
all your tutoring lessons

Take place at a
concert, or a movie,

Or intimate walks along
the hudson, doesn't it?

No.

Ok.

Come on, usually it's just the three
of us, we like hanging out together,

You know, like the four tops.

Only there's three of us,

And we don't sing.

It's ok, george,
we all like enrico.

If jo's got something
going with him, that's great.

Would you guys give me a break?

Come on, he's a nice guy

Who's trying hard to
make something of himself.

I admire him for it.

We're just good
friends, that's all.

Iestupido pedazo de yonque!

Idiota bike.

Enrico, didn't you and jo just
fix the motorcycle last week?

Yes, and it ran great
as long as she was there.

The minute she left, bfft.

I guess there's just
something about you, jo,

That makes that bike run good.

Well.

Well, what?

The bike runs well.

If the bike ran well, I
wouldn't have to yell at it.

Jo.

Oh, hello, george.

Enrico.

¿Que pasa, beverly ann?

Everything pasa just fine.

Jo, you forgot your
thermos for the picnic.

Here, I'll take the basket,

You drive my bike.

Hang on, enrico. She
likes to pop wheelies.

You know, you
jump one school bus,

Suddenly you're a maniac.

Oh, picnics are so
romantic, aren't they?

It's not that kind of picnic.

How many times I
got to tell you that?

Me? Just once. I'm
a very quick study.

Bye, everybody.

Did jo just snap at me
for no reason at all,

Or was I suddenly overcome
by a wave of paranoia?

She definitely snapped.

I'm telling you, there's something
going on between jo and enrico.

Look, it's not
that kind of picnic!

How many times she
got to tell you that?

Was that another snap?

I think so.

I'd prefer paranoia. It's safer.

Hey, guys, just saw jo and
enrico going off together.

It's not that kind of picnic!

Hello.

No, jo's not here.
May I take a message?

You're kidding.

What?

That doesn't make any sense.

What?

Are you sure?

What? What?

Hold on, I need to turn
off the doublemint twins.

Quiet.

All right, I'll tell her.

Thanks.

I don't believe it.

Blair, don't make
me say "what" again.

Is something wrong?

You decide. That
was jo's doctor.

He said her blood test was fine,

So she can go ahead
and get married.

What?

I'm sorry. It slipped.

I called this one.

She is serious about enrico.

They're planning to elope.

Why would jo suddenly want to
get married without telling us?

It doesn't make sense.

Unless...

Did the doctor say
anything about a rabbit?

Let's not hop to
any conclusions.

We might be
overlooking the obvious.

Maybe jo's really in love.

Hi.

What?

Nothing.

So, did you and enrico
have a nice picnic?

Fine.

How come you're
not still together?

He went home.

Have you two made
any future plans

About getting together?

I don't know. We
didn't talk about it.

Are you guys all right?

Fine, fine.

Couldn't be better.

Good.

Oh, jo, I almost forgot.

Your doctor called and he
said your blood test was fine,

So you can go ahead
and get married.

Oh, thanks.

Well, bye.

All right, jo, what's going on?

It's none of your business.

None of our business?

Jo, you're doing something

That's gonna affect
the rest of your life.

Girl, I'd say that's
definitely our business!

Let's hold on here a minute.
If jo doesn't want to tell us

Why she's mysteriously
getting married,

Then we should respect
her right to privacy.

Even I don't buy that.

Yeah, girl. Start talking.

All right, look...

Enrico is an illegal alien.

If he marries an american
citizen, he can stay in the country.

So I'm just helping him out.

I mean, it's not like I'm not
in love with him or anything.

That sounds like a solid
foundation for marriage.

We're just gonna be
married for a few days.

Just long enough for him
to apply for his green card,

Then we're gonna get a divorce.

On what grounds... You're
impossible to live with?

Jo, still...

I mean, once you've
been married,

You've been married!

Come on, it's in name only.

So there won't be
any marital stuff

Like cooking,
cleaning... Et cetera.

What's a marriage
without et cetera?

The story of my life.

Believe me, marriage
is very important to me,

But enrico's in trouble here.

Look, when his father got sick, he
had to quit school and go to work.

Now his student visa's lapsed.
What is he supposed to do?

Just don't rush into anything

You might regret later.

I've thought this through

And I'm gonna get
married next week.

Two days is no big deal.

Look, according to george,
a lot of people do this.

George knows about this?

Yeah.

Oh, great, maybe
that's someone else

Who wants to run my life.

Oh, I get it, it's ok for you to share
something like this with george,

But not with people who've been
your best friends for seven years.

I kept it a secret
because I figured

You guys would
give me a lot of grief.

Silly me.

Jo, we need to talk.

Hi! Hi!

Hi. Can we talk alone?

It's all right. They know.

What's up?

La migra.

Immigration. A friend from work

Said an i.n.s. Agent was
asking questions about enrico.

Terrific.

You think we can move
up the wedding date?

Yeah. We'll get the wedding
license first thing in the morning.

Let's meet at city hall at 9:00.

Jo, I know you well
enough to accept

That once you've made up
your mind, it stays made up,

But city hall?
Have you no shame?

We tried the plaza,
but it was booked.

I got an idea.

Why don't you guys
get married here?

Hey. That's not a bad idea.

Right. If immigration finds
out you got married at city hall

It will look like a
sham, hurry-up wedding.

It is a sham, hurry-up wedding.

True, but if you do a
more traditional wedding,

You'll be able to tell them
you've been planning it for months.

I hate it when you're right.

Thank god it's so seldom.

We have a lot to do
before tomorrow.

Jo, who will you be
inviting from your side?

Let's not get carried away here.

We'll have the wedding here,

But no guests
and stuff like that.

I'm not wearing lace

Or anything stupid in my hair.

I'm drowning in lace here.

You know something, jo?

This wedding dress
brought my grandmother

53 Happy years of marriage,

My mother 45 years...

And then it was my turn.

I guess we just went to
the well once too often.

Let's see, I've got beverly ann
altering the wedding dress,

Tootie getting a
justice of the peace,

George is lending enrico a suit,

And blair is registering the
happy couple at bloomingdale's.

Natalie green, you
were born to delegate.

Hey, you're
stepping on my train.

Jo, I have awful news.

Bloomingdale's doesn't carry

The waterford finger bowls.

I'm crushed.

Guys, this is justice of
the peace floyd barton.

He'll be performing
the ceremony.

Hi. Aren't you the guy that
issued us the wedding license?

Yeah. Wedding license,
hunting license, fishing license.

If you want to trap a
living creature in peekskill,

I'm your guy.

I'm glad to share this happy
and joyous occasion with you.

All right, let's get this
wedding on the road.

Ok, george, you're the best man.

And, um, andy, you're
gonna give the bride away.

And how's daddy's little girl?

Do it and die.

You're beautiful, jo.

Thanks. You don't
look so bad yourself.

Well, everybody,
let's get in our places.

Let's get it going.

Beverly ann, you're on.

Good afternoon. May I come in?

Looks like somebody's
getting married here.

Yes, but we don't remember
sending you an invitation.

This is my invitation.

Arnold jensen. Immigration.

This wouldn't be the
polniaczek-quinterrez wedding, would it?

Yes, but she's decided
not to hyphenate her name.

Excuse me, this
is a private party.

May we ask what
you're doing here?

It's a small town.

News of a wedding travels fast.

Which one of you
is mr. Quinterrez?

And I'm about to
become mrs. Quinterrez.

Do you mind?

No, no, not at all.
I love weddings.

I'm a sentimental guy.

Well, we'd ask you to join us,

But you're obviously not
dressed for the occasion.

I think I'll just hang
around anyway.

Fine. Then park it over there.

Well, uh... Let's
get on with it.

I always cry at weddings

When I really believe
the bride and groom

Are meant for each
other, don't you?

Like a baby.

I get all goose bumpy.

Two people choosing

To spend their
whole lives together.

I guess two years
won't matter then.

What two years?

Quinterrez can't apply for his
citizenship for at least two years.

Until that time, we'll
be checking up on them

To see that they really are
living together as a married couple.

If not, back he goes.

Dearly beloved.

We're gathered here
today to bring together

This man and this
woman in holy matrimony.

In many ways,

A good marriage
is like a fishing trip.

You start out in a sturdy craft,

Heading for uncharted waters.

Some days you catch your limit,

Some days you just hope
the boat won't spring a leak.

But through it all... Excuse me.

It's not that we don't appreciate
these inspirational thoughts,

But could you
reel it in a little?

Do you, enrico,

Agree to love,
honor, and cherish jo

In sickness and in health,
for richer or poorer,

Until death do you part?

I do.

Good answer.

And do you, jo,

Agree to love, honor,
and cherish enrico

In sickness and health,
for richer or poorer,

Until somebody
answers that phone?

Hello?

Hi. It's me, but
pretend it's not me.

Oh.

Hi!

I need to talk to jo.
The fuzz just told me

She's got to stay married
to enrico for two years

Or it doesn't count.

Well, in that case, I'm
sure glad you called.

Jo, it's for you.

I'm a little busy
here. Who is it?

Uh... Who is it?

I don't know.

Tell her it's her father.

It's your father.

Oh. Excuse me a second.

Hi.

Uh-huh.

Oh, i... I see.

Uh, well... That's
something, huh?

Uh... Ok, then.

Bye.

May we proceed?

Uh... Well, uh... We can't.

See, that was my father,

And... And... He wants
to see me get married,

But he has a flat tire,

So he's not gonna be
here for another hour.

No kidding?

Well, I guess we'll just have
to wait for him to get here.

Hey, your dad's
coming? That's great.

Right.

Uh, guys, could I see
you upstairs for a minute?

Beverly ann, would
you hold down the fort?

Her father hates
her hair like that.

We'll just give
her a quick perm.

Ok, quinterrez, it looks like there
isn't going to be a wedding after all.

Of course there is. This is
just a slight, unexpected delay.

You heard for yourself,
her father called.

Yeah, and I suppose it's just
a coincidence that he called

Right after I told, uh, little
polly polaroid over here

That you would have to
stay married for two years

In order for this
little charade to work.

Two years?

Is this a new law?

No, it's a very
misunderstood one.

Looks like this
could take some time,

So I better get
back to city hall.

Duck season starts today.

I got 200 guys in earflaps
outside my office.

Say adios to your
friends. Hold on.

There's no way I'm letting
you take him anywhere

Until I get some
questions answered.

That goes for
me, too, mr. G-man.

Oh, yeah?

Well, if one of those
questions is what is the penalty

For interfering
with a federal agent,

The answer is severe.

How severe?

George, thank you,

But please, do not get involved.

Come on, let's go.

Wait! What about the pilgrims?

What about them?

When the pilgrims
came to this country,

They didn't have
any green cards.

All they had was a
desire for a better life,

A dream about freedom,
and big buckles on their hats.

Look, lady, I don't like
this any more than you,

But I got a job to do.

Yes, and you know why
you have a job to do?

Because we have a
government that employs you.

And you know why
we have a government?

Because there were
people who came here,

Tired, poor, yearning
to breathe free.

And do you know
why they came here?

You're not heading back
to the pigrims, are you?

This country was built by people

Who came here from
somewhere else.

In a way, we're all immigrants.

Can't you give us
just a little more time?

Aw, I don't have the
heart for this job.

All right, all right, I'll
give you one more hour.

But I'll be right outside in
my car, so no funny stuff.

I promise.

I do, too.

And I'm a citizen.

What do you think
she's gonna do?

I don't know.

Why don't you ask her?

Not me.

I'm just getting used
to having straight teeth.

I bought us some
time with jensen.

We have an hour.

Look, guys, you know I feel
for enrico and his family.

And I know how much he
wants to stay in this country,

But there is no way I can pretend
to be married for two years.

Not without seriously reducing

Your chances of
getting asked out.

Jo, look...

I like enrico, and
we all feel for him,

But nobody expects you

To sacrifice a big
part of your life.

Now comes the hard
part... Telling him.

Jo.

You did everything you could.

I got a question.

When is jo's dad getting here?

Guys, do you mind?

Come on, andy.

I'll take you for a walk.

What am i, a poodle?

Thanks.

Enrico, listen, uh...

You do not have to say anything.

I know about the two years.

And I understand you cannot
marry me under that case.

In that case.

Sorry. Force of habit.

It's ok.

I like it when you correct me.

It shows you care.

Listen, I'm really
sorry about all this.

No, I'm the one who
should be sorry

For everything I
put you through.

Hey, I don't do anything
I don't want to do.

In that case... In that case?

I'd like to thank you for
everything you've done for me.

You have been a true friend,

And I will never forget that.

Uh... Listen, I'm not
real good at good-byes.

I understand.

You know, jo, if
someone had told me

That yesterday was going
to be our last time together,

I would've still have chosen
to go on the picnic with you.

Even though you sat
in the potato salad?

Well, maybe not that part.

But I will miss everything else.

What are you going to do?

What else?

Run.

But before I do,
I have a request.

Perhaps it's only because
you look so beautiful

In that dress,

But I find myself
wanting to ask you...

Yeah?

It's a tradition in my country

That the bride and groom
dance on their wedding day.

And although we did not
actually get married...

Would you dance with me?

Sure.

Does your country have
any wedding traditions?

Yeah, but, uh, we're
better off dancing.

Thank you for almost
being mrs. Quinterrez.

Hasta la vista, jo.

Wait a minute, wait. You're
going to leave just like that?

How are you gonna
get past jensen?

On my motorcycle.

What if it doesn't start?

You know how unreliable
that thing is, and noisy.

Well, what other
choice do I have?

You can let us try
and come up with a plan

That might give
you half a chance.

Come on, it's not
like we have to panic.

We have... 32 Minutes.

Just wait here.

Ok, enrico, here's the plan.

Enrico.

"Dear jo," if you
help me escape,

"You would be breaking the law.

"I cannot do something

"That would get you in trouble.

"That is why I am
turning myself in.

"Somehow I'll find
a way to return...

"I know you do not
like to say good-bye,

"So under that
case... In that case.

"I have left something
for you by the fence.

"Oh, yes, I know
it is in that case,

"But I wanted you to correct me

"Just one more time.

So, until our next dance..."