09x03 - Rumor Has It

[bunniefuu]

♪ You take the good
you take the bad ♪

♪ You take 'em both
and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪

♪ You're growin'
now you know about ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be livin' up
to your dreams ♪

♪ And suddenly
you're findin' out ♪

♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪

♪ When you're learnin'
the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

Who are all those
people you're looking at?

Well, my family.

We're having this big
reunion in the bronx.

Sure you're gonna be
able to get around all right

With that broken foot?

Oh, yeah.

In fact, the crutches will
probably come in handy

In new york as a w*apon.

I can't believe I'm related to
this farmer guy with a beard.

Why not? I think you
two look exactly alike.

Except for the beard.

And the two pigs he's carrying.

Good morning.
Oh, morning, blair.

Who's the guy with the beard?

My uncle yasha.

Then... These must
be your cousins?

They're pigs, blair.

Seems a little harsh, but...

I suppose, it's your family,

You can call 'em
whatever you like.

This is a mind they
let into law school.

Frightening.

Okay, I need some opinions here.

Now, keeping in mind that law
school's highly competitive...

Do I look more
intellectual now...

Or now?

Can I pick "none of the above"?

I think those glasses
make you look

Very scholarly
and sophisticated.

Really?

And so what if
you're not as sexy?

Well, actually, they
do kinda pinch my nose.

Besides... I wouldn't
want to intimidate

The other law students.

Oh, sure. Nothing shakes
up a room of phi beta kappas

More than a woman in glasses.

Jo, trust me,

I can hold my own in law school.

Can't i?

Well... Considering the fact

You'll be up against

Some of the brightest
students in the country...

I think you'll do fine.

Are you just saying
that so I'll give you a ride

To the train station?

Yes.

Good enough for me. Let's go.

It's just not fair.

When I decided to
go back to college,

I thought I'd be taking classes

Like creative writing
and journalism.

And you will.

But first, like all
freshmen at langley,

You've gotta take
certain required courses.

But I'm not like all freshmen.

I've already been in the
working world for two years.

Natalie, it's not the same.

I still think slopping
tacos for señor sombreros

Should satisfy the foreign
language requirement.

Where's a good place
to park on campus?

Uh... Actually, there
aren't any for...

For you.

What, are there
signs posted that say

"No parking for natalie green"?

Freshmen aren't allowed
to park on campus.

Why not? I don't know.

I guess they're too young.

Tootie, I'm older than you are.

Hey, look, I don't
make the rules.

Why don't you just
park off campus?

I'd rather walk.

All right. See you later.

Hey! What about me?

Hey, you said you'd rather walk.

So I took a stand. Now
I'm ready for a ride.

That is, if you don't mind
having a freshman in your car.

Of course not.

Thanks.

Only when we get on
campus... Duck down.

Yeah. I hear business law 101's

A real mickey mouse course.

How come?

Well... Professor murphy?

He's the biggest lush on campus.

He'll make sure
you pass the bar,

'Cause he's usually
draped over it.

Well, what do you
hear about this course?

Oh, well, professor
katt's another story.

He believes in the hands-on
approach to teaching,

If you catch my drift.

Excuse me.

Does the phrase "ladies first"

Mean anything to you?

I really am sorry.

There's blair warner.

As in warner hall and
warner auditorium?

How else do you
think she got in?

Professor katt: okay, my flock,
your shepherd has arrived.

I am professor katt, and
welcome to contract law.

Now, those of you
still standing, please sit.

And those of you
already sitting,

Well, sit some more.

Now... During the
course of the semester,

I'm sure my name will
take on many variations:

Catastrophic.

Cataclysmic.

Wildcat.

And his wife's
personal favorite...

Tom cat.

But since this is your
first class with me,

Please rest assured
that I am not as bad

As these names make me sound.

I'm worse.

If you want to pass this course,

There's only one way
you'll get along with me.

And we know what that is.

Roww.

Would you please be quiet?

Excuse me.

Am I disturbing you?

No. No. No.

Everything's fine.

Uh, you do... You're
doin' a grape job...

Uh, great job.

Thank you. May I continue now?

Uh... Sure. Ha ha ha!

That's very funny.

As I was saying,

If you want to
get along with me,

You're gonna have
to work very hard,

Pay close attention,

And be absolutely brilliant.

And with that in mind,
relax and enjoy the course.

Now, our first case,

Is that of hogan
vs. Whittingham, inc.

Mr. Drexler,

Would you please review
the salient points for us?

Now?

Is there some more
convenient time for you?

No. Uh, now's good.

I guess... Okay. If I
remember correctly,

This guy hogan... Right?

Therefore, whittingham, inc.,
Was entirely within its rights

To fire perry hogan for
breaking company policy.

The fact that it was 2 months

Before his pension
is irrelevant.

I disagree.

Uh... True, hogan
broke company policy...

But it was without malice.

And whittingham, in good faith,

Should've given an employee

Of such long standing
another chance.

And 2 supreme court
justices agreed with you.

Unfortunately, that
left 7 who did not.

And, as you recall from
your earlier education,

7 Is larger than 2.

[Laughter]

But, professor katt...

7 Isn't larger than 2?

[Laughter]

I thank you for your impassioned
minority opinion, ms. Warner,

But we are out of time.
I'll see you all tomorrow.

I don't know why
she's trying so hard.

Daddy already bought her an "a."

Professor, I really
think I had a good point.

If perry hogan was trul...

Ms. Warner, class is over.

Oh. I'm sorry.

I'll pursue it tomorrow.

Well I was hoping to move
on to new material tomorrow.

Oh.

But far be it from me

To dampen the fires
of academic enthusiasm.

If you want to
discuss it further,

I'll be in my office later.

Oh, thank you.

Uh, what are your office hours?

Uh, normally, between
5:00 and 7:00 on thursdays,

But I'll be working
late tonight,

So if you want to
drop on by around 9:00,

I'm on the second floor
across from the library.

I'll see you then.

Okay.

Ladies first.

[Chuckles]

Hi. Hey.

Hi, beverly ann.

Oh, hi. Look...

Look at what andy brought home.

My first pta questionnaire.

"Dear parent." Ha ha!

Well, anyway,

Which of these
committees do you think

I should sign up for?

The bake sale committee?

No! No!

Okay, what about the
carpool committee?

Would you have to drive?

Of course.

Let's take another
look at that bake sale.

Well, I suppose I
can decide later.

Well, natalie...

How did things go for you today?

Let me see if this
answers your question.

It's a look.

She has to wear her little
freshman cap every monday

So that upperclassmen
can humiliate her,

According to school tradition.

But aren't your
writing classes fun?

Oh, yeah. Freshman
composition is great.

I'm surrounded
by little children

Whose last writing
experience was using crayons.

Hi, everybody.

Tootie: hey, how did it go?

Hi, blair.

Oh, did you try any cases today?

Well, not yet,

But I'm meeting with
a professor tonight

To discuss one.

Good. Well, that shows interest.

Yeah. They love that.
But why at night?

Well, professor katt didn't
have time in class today,

So I'm meeting him
at his office later.

Professor katt?

Blair, he's no
cat. He's a tiger.

They say he's never met
a woman he didn't like...

A lot.

How do you know that?

If you used the public rest room

Like the rest of us,

You would read
these things, too.

Maybe going to
his office at night

Isn't such a good idea.

This is silly.

He's my teacher.
I'm his student.

I don't see a problem here.

Neither do i.

Why don't I come with you?

Uh, that's not necessary.

Professor katt has
absolutely no reason

To be attracted to me.

Let me rephrase that.

Look, blair, maybe
if you met him

In a setting less
intimate, like...

Langley stadium at halftime.

Relax. I know how to read men.

So, you can tell which
ones want to come on to you?

Darling, they all want to.

I just know which ones
have the self control not to.

[Laughter]

It's open.

Oh, ms. Warner. Right
on time. I like that.

Uh, now, professor,

About that case we
were discussing earlier.

I think perry
hogan was clearly...

Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa.

Just slow down, relax.

Here. Please have a seat.

Anywhere will be fine.

[Chuckles nervously]

Nice office.

Thanks. Nice outfit.

Thanks. Uh, about the case.

Oh, yes. Of course. The case.

Look. Hogan broke
a company policy,

Which gave whittingham
every right to fire him,

Pension or no pension.

It's the exact same decision

As chambers vs.
Padnick-lander corporation.

If we're talking precedence,

What about bishop vs.
Eastside medical group?

That's an even more
recent decision,

And that clearly
supports hogan's argument.

Absolutely.

And the appellate court
overturned it last week.

Over to you, ms. Warner.

Come on, professor.
It was obvious

They were just
trying to cheat him

Out of his pension,

And that's clearly unethical.

But we're talking
law here, not ethics.

Yes. But law is based on
ethical considerations.

Aha! But whose ethics?

Yours? Mine? Whittingham's?

Perry hogan's? Perry mason's?

Perry ellis?

Perry como?

Perry, uh... Perry ape?

Oh, richard...

You have, uh... Company.

Rebecca. What a nice surprise.

Uh, ms. Warner, this
is my wife rebecca.

How do you do?

I don't know.

Richard, how do I do?

Apparently, not
as well as she does.

Please, rebecca.

Ms. Warner is only
a student of mine.

And I know just what you've been

Teaching her.

You don't think...
Professor katt and I were...

Please.

Spare me the miss
innocence routine.

And, richard, spare
me any more stories

About working
late at the office.

Mrs. Katt, let me assure you

That absolutely
nothing has happened.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Very good, richard.

You have her well-rehearsed

For so early in the semester.

Rebecca. Can we
discuss this at home?

No. We cannot
discuss this at home

Because you're going to a hotel,

You lowlife two-timer.

I'm just gonna go
ahead and get my things

And get out of here.

You have got this all wrong.

You're right. I should
have said 10-timer.

Very nice meeting you, bye.

Ha ha ha!

We'll talk about this later.

All right. Bye-bye.

I think you should clear the air

And tell everyone at school
exactly what happened.

No, I disagree.

The more she tries
to defend herself,

The more people will
think she's covering up.

I agree with tootie.

Sure, why not?
She's a sophomore.

As soon as all these
wild stories die down,

It'll be yesterday's news.

Right.

What wild stories?

Well... Blair...
It's no big deal.

Oliver heard from
another professor

That mrs. Katt caught
you and her husband

On the couch... Naked.

Blair, you didn't
tell us you were...

I wasn't!

Then why was the
professor naked?

He wasn't!

Nothing like that happened.

That's what I told oliver.

And I said there was no
way you would've accepted

Katt's marriage proposal.

I don't believe this.

I don't care what
anyone has heard.

It's simply not true.

And I'm sure as soon
as the professor

Explains what has happened,

Everything'll get
back to normal.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have classes to attend.

I knew the minute blair
went to that man's office

Somethin' like
this would happen.

Well, not exactly like this.

I thought the professor
would try somethin'.

I didn't figure on his
wife, but I was close.

Please. Don't stop
talking on my account.

Just go on with
your conversations

Like this was any other
normal, average day.

Well, you know what they
say about law students.

Those who can, do.

And those who can't,
do it any way they can.

Look. As soon as the
professor gets here,

He will confirm that the only
thing that happened last night

Was an unfortunate
misunderstanding.

Oh, sure, right.
Listen, the only thing

That happened last night...

May I have your
attention, please?

I'm taking over the class today

Because professor katt is
absent for personal reasons.

I'm dean stanton,

And why aren't you
all looking at me?

That's better.

Now...

Mr. Travis?

Yes, sir.

Would you please
present the facts

Of bennett vs. The
state of new york?

Certainly.

And as you list
them, mr. Travis,

I'll write them on the board.

[Laughter]

Ooohhh...

Yes, I know classes
have already started.

But are you sure
I can't transfer?

Yeah, right. Every law
school I've called is full.

But what if someone drops out?

What do you mean?
I'm dropping out.

Hello?

Hello?

Blair?

I know you're upset, but...

Dropping out of
langley isn't the answer.

So what if people are catty?

Perhaps not the
best choice of words.

You said that freshmen

Were the lowest
form of life on campus.

I did not. After all,

There are lab mice, gerbils.

You forgot frogs.

No. Frogs outrank freshmen.

I'm just kidding.

Blair, what are you
still doing here?

I thought you had an 8:00 class.

I'm quitting langley.

I can't take these
rumors anymore.

Blair, we're in the same boat.

I can't take the classes I want.

I can't drive my
car when I want.

And I have to spend my mondays

Looking like a refugee
from pee-wee's playhouse.

But you don't see me quitting.

You want to know why?

Because you're not a quitter.

Right. And also
because next year,

When I'm a sophomore,

I can treat the
fresh class like dirt.

Oh, I see. So you're saying
I should stay in langley

And spread rumors about some
other innocent law student.

Whatever floats your boat.

Blair, you've
gotta stick it out.

You didn't do anything wrong.

They laughed at me, tootie.

Nobody has ever
laughed at me before.

We laugh at you all the time.

Yeah, but you're my friends.

You do it lovingly.

These people weren't smiling
when they were laughing.

Beverly ann: blair...

Maybe this will help you.

Now... A lot of people

Think I'm not a very good baker.

Says who?!

Well, I can think of
two people in this room,

But I won't mention any names.

Three.

Look. There's a reason
why I'm going to bake

For this bake sale.

I mean... Well, somebody
has to make the cakes

That nobody buys

So there's something
left to keep the tablecloth

From flapping in the wind.

Color me dense, but...

Exactly what
does this have to do

With me and law school?

I bake because I want to.

And... And I'm not gonna
let anybody's opinion

Keep me from doing
what I want to do.

And... You shouldn't, either.

Thanks, beverly ann.

But I'm sorry. I just
can't face going back.

Come on in. I'll
see if blair's here.

Thank you.

Hey, blair?!

Blair: jo! You're back!

Uh, I'll be right there.

She'll be right out.

I heard.

Uh, won't you have
a seat, mrs... Katt.

Uh... Gosh. Just got
back from new york.

Oh, that's nice.

Yeah. I went to this
big family reunion.

I detest family reunions.

Blair!

Blair: I'm coming! I'm coming!

Jo, wait'll I tell you...

Mrs. Katt.

Well, I'll leave you guys.

No, don't! Jo, please, stay.

What are you doing here?

I'll tell you what
I'm doing here.

I came to give you this.

Used clothing?

Used husband.

From now on, you can take
his shirts to the laundry.

You can sort his socks.
You can clean up after him.

He likes his coffee
strong and his women weak.

You'll get along fine.

No, wait. Don't do this.

You're making a big mistake.

No, made a big
mistake. For 14 years.

But it's over now.

You want him? You can have him.

I don't want him.

Nothing happened between us.

Oh, they all sang
that same tune.

Though you're
younger and prettier

Than most of them.

I'll give you that.

Thank you.

I'm not sure what
this is all about,

But I do know that
this girl is my friend,

And she would never do
what you're accusing her of.

Yes, she may be...

Shallow and...
Self-centered and... Vain.

Sorry. Just tryin' to help.

Mrs. Katt, your
marriage is your business.

I'm not telling you
not to be angry,

But you don't have
to be angry with me.

Oh, but I'm not.

You're not really
that important...

Because there's
going to be a next time

With someone else...

Maybe someone even
younger and prettier than you.

But I won't have to
worry about that.

[Chuckles] you will.

What is going on here?

Jo, it was awful.

I innocently go to
this professor's office,

And then his wife bursts in.

The next thing I know,
it's all over campus

I'm breaking up their marriage

And having his baby.

Boy, go away for 24 hours,

The place falls apart.

So I'm leaving law school.

You're what?

What other choice do I have?

You could not leave law school.

What, and let them
keep talking about me?

Why not? You have
something to hide?

No!

Well?

Welcome home, jo.

[All talking at once]

Good afternoon.

I'm gonna get
right to the point.

The past 2 days have been
extremely difficult for me.

Despite the fact that I have

Repeatedly denied them,

Rumors about my involvement

With a first-year
law student persist.

Now, these rumors have been

Totally disruptive
to my classes...

Not to mention my marriage.

Therefore, I've decided
that it's in the best interest

Of my personal life and of
the law school for me to resign.

Dean stanton will be
teaching my courses

Until a permanent
replacement can be found.

That's terrible.

Ms. Warner, I assure you,

I'm perfectly capable

Of teaching a first year class.

Professor katt, you can't resign

Just because of a rumor.

You're too good.

She should know.

So what if people
say we did something?

They might also say you're
the illegitimate offspring

Of a big mouth bass and a skunk.

[Laughter]

That doesn't make it true.

Although in your
case, I wouldn't doubt it.

[Laughter]

Ms. Warner, I
appreciate your support,

But my decision to
resign still stands.

Why?

Well, if you'd get
to class on time,

You'd know these things.

As I already said, these rumors,

However false,

Are disruptive to the
educational process.

Can't you all see
how unfair this is?

We're here to become lawyers.

We have to learn how
to evaluate evidence

In order to separate
rumor from fact.

Whatever happened to

"Innocent until proven guilty"?

If we don't have that
in our system of law,

Then we have nothing.

Professor katt: ms. Warner?

I think you have an
excellent future

As a lawyer.

But you're still leaving.

Yeah.

Well, I'm not.

Stanton: all right...

Let's continue our
discussion of implied contracts

By considering the case of

Frumpson vs. The
brooklyn midwear company.

[♪♪♪]